Bellini-induced Brain Freeze

Push It

2012-01-27T00:17:00.002-07:00

Blah, my cranes are getting sloppier and sloppier rather than better. At least with this one I was able to complete the whole bird from memory. I have to get some bigger origami paper to make tidier, crisper cranes. These square little notepapers are so not doing the trick.

So, yes, I ended up going on the date this past Tuesday. He's a nice guy. If you know me well enough that should really be all I have to say.

He's very sweet and I'm sure he'd treat me, or any girl, well. He's a little cuddly-shaped, and I would be a hypocrite if I told anyone that that is an issue with me. But my manager hit it on the head when I was discussing the date amongst my office-mates. There is no ambition in the guy whatsoever.

He admires my efforts in dieting, or so he says. But in the same breath he mentions that he could never do it himself because he enjoys food too much. Followed with a vague comment that he wants to get a gym membership "someday." This is coming from a poor chap who lost his father when he was a kid due to a heart attack. A heart attack, that if history completely repeated itself, could claim this guy in 3 years' time! I may not be the angelic vision of perfect health, but I don't think I would be helping my mission very much if he were an influence on my life.

Pair that with his educational inertness. He knows of my plans to work on more training to get back on track with my original career choice. As far as he has told me he never wants to go back to school and could never stand it. That would be fine if he had lucked into a great career (I guess?), but he himself admits to being in a flat job. Again, another poor influence if he were by my side...or perhaps I shouldn't so much say "poor influence" as complete lack of support and encouragement. It's as if he has no interest in bettering himself on any level.

And as a girl thinking way down the road; how would I even have kids with a guy like that? Someone who wouldn't really care how they eat or if they are active? Worse, someone who doesn't care if he lives to see them grow older. And someone who would be horrible at convincing the children that an education is worthwhile? Ay caramba.

He would like to see me again this weekend. So I've agreed and made plans. But part of the Leah revamp is I'm going to change my "duck and cover" maneuvers for deterring dates. He's a great guy -- for someone else -- so he deserves a grown-up-Leah turn down...as in face-to-face. Gah, wish me luck.

As a twist of the knife into my dating life Aidan sent me a photo of his latest progress. God, he looks fantastic! I'd say I'm so proud of him but I have nothing to do with his success so *shrugs.* And I believe he's also completing his undergraduate degree this year, too. Why oh why can't I have him?! :(

I'd Still Say 'Yes'

2012-01-21T01:21:00.001-07:00

I have a date lined up to meet someone new. So why do I feel sad somewhat? So things don't go as I have envisioned or wanted; this isn't something new. I don't know why I'm being so difficult when it comes to accepting that Aidan isn't looking for anything more.

SANDy is already back at 'em in the dating scene. She told me that other loved ones have suggested she sit back for a while to "find herself" and yadda yadda. I think if she's ready -- and it sounds like she is 'cuz she's got a great outlook on things -- then good for her. Personally, based on other observations I feel if she waits too long she'll just get jaded. She's found a young guy that she truly digs and by all accounts it sounds like he's keen on her, too. How did she do it so quickly? Some girls are just that lucky.

It was the strangest thing. I was watching an episode of Big Bang Theory and seeing Penny and Leonard interact made my hands all electrified. I haven't had that feeling in ages (I used to get it lots when I would read the sappy, "romantic" V.C. Andrews novels as a young'un.) In a nostalgic sort of way it felt nice; like reassurance I could still feel all romantic-ish. Unfortch, no guys I've ever gone out with have ever said or done anything to make my hands feel all buzzy like that. T'is tragic.

Anyway, the date was supposed to be this morning but he'd rather meet later and I can't (or is it "won't?" If I were feeling more excited about dating would I have made more of an effort to rearrange my schedule?) so we've postponed it until Tuesday. He seems like a really great guy so I feel uber bad about not being able to share in his enthusiasm. Hopefully I won't be a downer on the date!

Let's Get It Started

2012-01-08T23:22:00.000-07:00

What a wonderful weekend! Such a great beginning to the new year. On Friday I got to enjoy calamari and pizza at Manie's. Anyone who knows me has to know that I absolutely love the pizza (and really, all the food) at Manie's so it was a great way to "binge" before I started my diet back up in earnest. And to make the meal even more enjoyable I got to dine with Civic and Daisy. The original 3 out on 17th again! Complete with my big bowl of Vietnamese coffee at Caffe Beano and it was fabulous beginning to the weekend.

Even though I had to work on Saturday (and really I don't have much to complain about since we only work one Saturday a month now between all of us!) the day was not for naught. Weird Kid treated me to my first ever lower bowl experience for a Flames game! We were in row 12 -- a fortunate number, of course -- and I was able to celebrate in-house when my beloved Iggy scored his 500th career goal with the Flames! An amazing night, to be sure. Have you seen how the domers are filled from the bottom up, now? I had seen a video on YouTube showing the same kind of concept at another arena and had heard they now do the same at the Saddledome. It seemed magical! But after I had my domer the mystery and novelty were long gone. I kept inadvertently poking my finger through the pour hole and wasting precious brew. Oh, and just an FYI in case you didn't know. Domers are no longer Molson Canadians...they are now Budweisers! Talk about lack of national pride. And in case you have no idea what I'm talking about with regards to the magical beer process here you go. And to end the Flames game on an uber high fan-note I got an Iggy stuffed doll (called a "Bleacher Creature!") and a 500th goal hockey puck. I am, if nothing, full of little fan-girl glee!

Fast forward to this morning and I completely slept in. I woke up 5 minutes AFTER I was supposed to meet SANDy (I think she's new to my blog, as in, I've never mentioned her before. Hence I am giving her a Tokidoki moniker) at the Health and Fitness show at the convention centre. I felt so bad; I had enlisted her to come weigh-in with me and hopefully we would motivate one another to work hard and possibly win the trip -- this year to Jamaica. But she was a doll and waited for me, I got there "only" a half hour late...and for the record I called her to let her know I was uber late. I suppose posting my weight and body fat percentage on here would increase my accountability but I cannot bring myself to doing that. Let's just say I have a lot of work to do again. No surprise there.

With my time at the show cut short I had to continue on (without breakfast and lunch thanks to my poor timing) to the mall to watch Happy Feet 2 with the familia. I walked in just as the theatre lights started to dim; and I think we were the only adult family there to see the movie hehe. The original Happy Feet has some sentimentality to all of us so we would have been remiss not to see the 2nd one. At the risk of embarrassing myself and sounding like a total kid I loved this one even more, I think.

And with that I being my new revamp. Tomorrow I start up on my South Beach Diet once again. I also have the most recent South Beach Diet Recharged book for motivation and reference. Wish me luck!

Who's Gonna Drive You Home?

2012-01-03T13:29:00.004-07:00

My first origami crane in a long while; a bit sloppy but like I said I'm keen on actually completing 1000 paper cranes for once. Let's see if I finish this project.

My legs are sore from working out, it's definitely a satisfying soreness and I was expecting this but I hope I recoup faster and faster so I can keep up the momentum.

So I read the paper this morning and they talked about a man being charged with sexual assault. He offered a young woman a ride home from a downtown nightclub but instead of taking her home he drove her elsewhere, assaulted her, and then kicked her out of the car. They had just met that night. While I don't have all the details, obviously, there are just so many things I find wrong with this story.

Numero uno: where were her friends? I mean, who goes to the clubs alone? My friends and I always went together and (apparently a key detail that everyone ought to heed) we LEFT together. Are people really that slack with loved ones' safety nowadays?

Numero dos: so her friends ditched her or she decided to ditch her friends...who takes a ride from someone they just met?! Especially after meeting in the environs of a nightclub? I don't care if I just met a darling guy, and while it's true that I enjoy dancing the night away and there's a (slight) possibility that guys enjoy being there for the same reasons I would never leave with them. If they're such great guys why not try and meet each other another day? Day being key. For the record I've never met up with anyone from the clubs; what went on in the clubs stayed there. Even when I wasn't driving yet and I'd meet up with new guys I always texted friends with their license plates "just-in-case" (ie. U*V 49*) And I was always hesitant to let them drive me all the way home because I didn't want them knowing where I live. Why didn't she grab a taxi if she was alone? Why didn't she call a friend to come and get her?

By no means am I saying that this young lady was asking for trouble, but this could have been so easily avoided it truly upsets me. At least they caught him. And who takes advantage of situations like that? Was it premeditated? He must have thought he hit the jackpot when he found someone so trusting. If he were truly psycho I think he would have killed her to prevent her from telling anyone. Now that is uber scary.

What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?

2012-01-02T16:53:00.002-07:00

Ha, that song title is a couple of nights too late. But I just saw an adorable video starring Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Leavitt so I'm loving the song at the mo.

Hello 2012! Although I don't like the concept of New Year's resolutions I must admit I have a lot of work to do with you: lose weight, gain money, attain love (non-family), organize, organize, organize. Where to start?

Ideas:

For losing weight: keep up the Aqua Fit and incorporate laps (start with once a week), get back on the South Beach Diet train, get back to my weight training at the gym (start with 1x a week), on off days -- when my muscles can take it -- pop in a Jillian Michaels workout or do my Your Shape workout on the Kinect. (Just got it for Christmas thanks to my fabulous bro, the fitness quiz alone practically knocked me out. LOTS to do!)

For gaining money: I think a second job is becoming more and more imperative at present. I don't really want to go back to retail but their hours work best with my job. Perhaps Starbucks? Talk about the mothership calling me home. A friend from accounting referred me to a placement agency for temporary employment at the accounting firms, but I have been hesitant to even approach them until I get more refreshers and courses under my belt. She tells me they still provide self-motivated training online while I wait for placements so maybe I should just put on a brave face and give it a go. Also, I definitely have to curb my spending; methinks a trip regardless of size is completely out of the question this year if I am to behave. I can see a few things in my finances that bleed money; I can put a stop to those.

For attaining love: I am having a really hard time letting go of Aidan but if I'm truly honest with myself it has been over a year and a half now and the arrangement has not changed. Will things ever evolve? I should be smart and put my chips on "No." I need to open my mind up to meeting new guys and not compare them to what makes Aidan the better candidate. 'cuz obviously a guy cannot or should not be a candidate if they do not want to put themselves up for consideration.

For organizing: There are a LOT of shoes and clothes that I no longer wear. I need to return to my ambition of ridding my room of one bag of "stuff" each week. I should also close off all those online accounts I have created over the years.

Let's begin now.

You Can't Always Get What You Want

2011-12-29T00:00:00.002-07:00

TLC has been making a lot of garbage tv these days (Virgin Diaries, hello? I admit I laughed awkwardly when I saw the virgin wedding kiss in the trailer.) but I found the two-part Geek Love to be really endearing. It also made me feel kind of sorry for myself, egads. I mean, look at all those adorable, endearing, little "geeks" finding love, and yet I do not fit in with them. Although I am a huge fan of certain aspects of those Comic Cons (Simone Legno seems to always be at the San Diego Comic Con, Big Bang Theory and Twilight have held panels at Comic Cons) if I had to talk myself up for 6 minutes or so to one of the serious geeks he would lose interest pretty fast. I don't know much about Star Trek, have not seen the most recent 3 Star Wars -- or even remember much about the older three except for those adorable Ewoks -- I don't care for Spiderman and the only reason why I care for Batman and Iron Man is because Christian Bale and Robert Downey Jr. are both hot and potential d-bags (there's always something about those bad boys, huh?)

So yes, those stereotypical brainy geeks are adorable and I find it sad that they will never find me interesting. But they will call me for some fun when the opportunity arises. Some aspects about guys are just universal, I guess.

Who finds me interesting? Men who are almost twice my age. I thought I had outgrown that "situation" but apparently not. Do they figure that at my age I cannot afford to be picky anymore? Some days it feels like that's what they must think. In their defense, they deserve to find love too but I feel that there is no way it would work out between me and a guy over a quarter-century older than me. I could still potentially have my babies at some point, but those same babies could easily pass off as his grandchildren.

It would just be nice to have some opportunities with the guys I like. I'm finally tired of waiting around. But it's the same old story, girl likes guy, guy's not interested. Other guys like girl, girl's not digging it.

Someday, it'll be great to snuggle up with someone and listen to Ingrid Michaelson's "The Way I Am." *swoon*

Tell Me Something Good

2011-12-13T23:39:00.002-07:00

Soooooo, I'm going to try and blog more. I'm also going to try and workout more (I'm thinking 2 days of aquafit, a day of laps, and a day of weights. Here's to trying!) And somehow...somehow...I think that the way to keep me posting and exercising is by folding 1000 paper cranes.

I really don't want to call this my New Year's resolutions or any such thing. What I need is a routine outlet, and if I can divert myself from eating as an outlet to working out -- which I must admit I do enjoy when I finally get my butt into the gym/pool -- and if I can make a habit of writing whatever little or big thing I am thinking of at the moment then that'd be a great start.

When I was younger I was an origami nut. Consider it a hobby passed down from my great uncle. We would use whatever scrap we had to fold the latest designs he had just learned. For a couple of years he would send us "Rudolphs" made of paper cubes, lollipop sticks, pipecleaners, and of course a red pom pom nose. The problem with such things is that where do you put all your creations as they pile up? Luckily, I guess, they're recyclable. I haven't decided yet if I am going to keep all the cranes until I finish making all 1000 of them or if I will just take a little snapshot of them and post them here so that I can keep track (they could possibly be the "title" of my soon-to-be-regular *fingers crossed* posts). It doesn't really run with my Bellini theme but I can't bear to change my blog's title now.

So that was a boring post, and maybe some days I won't have much to say and it will be more of the same. But I hope that as I get reacquainted with my blog I will learn and love to write again and I'll be able to jot down more thoughts as time continues.

Catch My Disease

2011-08-24T00:06:00.003-06:00

Just a quick post because I didn't quite say everything that was going on in my mind this weekend. Ha, if Daisy could read my post-title she'd probably be through the moon. But it was the only song lyric I could think of on the spot that talks about diseases.

Aidan let me know that he went and got tested over the weekend. Anytime I've had a moment to myself my brain has gone into warp freak-out mode over how stupid I have been. He came out clean, so...you know...goody for him and all, but that doesn't make me look any less stupid. SO many scenarios. So so many.

All the other girls value their health enough that they insist that he be safe all the time. I don't speak up so he gets a "gimme."

Since it would appear that I don't value my own health why should he value my health as well, right?

It had been 8 months or so between the times I was with him. I got my annual checkup shortly after the time before our most recent get-together and I was fine then. But he could have had a lot of partners in those 8 months. Did he have a scare that caused him to get tested? So then I should get tested again too, right? (augh)

Or what if he thinks I'm the diseased one?! Grrr.

Soon after he got his results he came for a surprise visit, but I was too busy to talk, nor did I really want to bring it up at that time and place.

I'm just as full of drama as Latina, I suppose. Except she has the gumption to express what she wants and needs from guys. Where she falls short is she does not listen to their reply or take their actions into consideration. (Hello, cliche "actions speak louder than words") So her communication skills are only one way. Me? What communication skills? I have plenty of imagined conversations in my mind but I never utter them out loud -- to the people I should be talking to.

Blah. I still really adore Aidan but I should take care of myself better too; health-wise and emotionally.

"It's no mystery why you're ruling me"

2011-08-22T23:50:00.004-06:00

I had the stupendous fortune of seeing Weezer perform live for the first time in. my. life. It was everything I thought it would be, hoped it would be, dreamed it would be. And when Rivers came back onto the stage and yelled out "Calgaryyyyyyyy! We're on an island..." My little happy heart could do nothing more but dance in joy, though I felt like I was the only one who whooped up as I knew what song he was referring to (does noone else adore "Island in the Sun?!") I was euphoric. But I had something else in mind for this post. I just wanted to share before I began.

So Civic asked me if I wanted to go to Beano that night...but it was Weezer-night! But if he was willing to wait till later baby sis and I would meet him there. The only reason why I wanted to go to the festival was to see Weezer in all their nerdy fabulosity so as soon as they finished I would have no issues with leaving the grounds early and heading over to 17th. So that's what we did. By the way, I finally got to try out The Big Cheese. I'm a major poutine fan, and this place has great fries and poutine toppings, but unless you are going to share or you have been starving for days I highly recommend not getting the large. Sure, it's only 2 dollars more, and that's how they hook you in, but you seriously do NOT need it.

Anyway, so Civic asked me how I dealt with Aidan and his girlfriend. I admitted I didn't have to deal with it; that he (Aidan) made the move for me and cut me out of all his profiles/circles ('cuz that's how we roll, yo) And so it turns out that the little lady Civic is into wants to be friends. Ah, that word. Everyone in their group tells him that this couple aren't going to last, but as Civic says - that's of little consequence to him. And thus we discussed our reluctance/fears of becoming the "Plan B" with our "friends."

Oh, and if you've never heard of The Ladder Theory then check it out, though it's pretty ancient internet-wise. It used to make me laugh back in university.

So 'cuz baby sis was with us we didn't discuss much about his situation. But can a friendship ever succeed when one party started out wanting more? And if she did break up with her guy and wanted to give Civic a shot -- although we both agreed that it would be pretty insulting -- could he honestly find it in himself to turn her down?

Of course I had to think of myself and Aidan on the drive home. Not that I don't think about it too much as it is. Way too petrified to ask if this could ever be anything more. And once it's over I'll be uber sad... but at least I will know who to blame (for those who don't follow; I'm talking about myself.) Of little consolation, I realize, when the time comes but I know I won't b.s. myself.

Or will I? Latina has brought on the drama again with the bouncer douche. I respect the fact that's she's a grown woman and can make her own decisions, but I cannot understand why this guy is still in her life. And not because he has wedged himself in there, but because she keeps pulling him in! I always get these heartbroken messages about how he stood her up again, how he told her again about how he would not be a good boyfriend for her, again how he cannot give her what she wants. The major emphasis should be placed on the word "again." This is nothing new. And everytime I suggest she scrap him there's always some caveat like "I'll give him another week to say something, and if he doesn't then I'll say my goodbye." AGAIN.

I understand the great wish to make something work, to hope that things will become more. I honestly get that. But when a guy tells you he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you or he stands you up...I mean...guys don't usually play mind-fuck games. They say what they mean and their actions are clear and intentional. There is no "playing hard to get" in man-world. He says "no" it means "no." But what guy would turn down some "fun" if it's being offered to him even after he's laid out all his cards? By no means is he innocent, but you can't say he ever lied about his status. She claims he led her on, and as much as I want to believe her based on what she's told me about the guy I'm not so convinced he did. Yes, it was shady of him to still, you know, with her after admitting he's seeing the ex again. But in her love(?)blind state she wasn't Jiminy Cricket in the situation either. I'm sure he thinks he did nothing wrong. He gave her his terms, she still went after him anyway. (I mean, like I'm ever going to hear his side of the story, right? Do I even need to? I'm HER friend, and she can tell me whatever she wants with her own spin on it but frankly I don't think she has fabricated any of this to paint her own side of things in a better light. She's not the type...and plus I don't see how it would make her side look better with what she's told me) She says the gf probably doesn't even know about her. BUT HOW DOES THAT MAKE THIS SITUATION ANY BETTER? I'm tired of it. I want to be there for her but when the same drama keeps coming up over and over again and she doesn't listen to what he says, doesn't listen to what I say, I'm sure she doesn't listen to what the others say...I just want to let go of the rope. It's draining trying to save someone who doesn't save themself.

But as I asked before: can I confidently say I would never get myself in that jam? Obviously it's easier noticing these things when you're outside of the relationship looking in. Though I'd like to think I would hear what my friends are telling me and take their words to heart. And if a guy point-blank told me that it was never going to be me...that I'd have the wits and sanity to just walk away. There is nothing hopelessly romantic in laying yourself out on the road for someone over and over again if they don't even register that you're there.

Niblets

2011-07-05T22:34:00.003-06:00

Why are corn niblets spelled with one B whereas the word nibble has two? Moving on...

I really wish I could motivate myself to write in here whenever the mood strikes me. As it stands I have to play catch-up with my thoughts yet again.

Boob-watch 2011: I've been driving again for a month now. Hooray! I've also picked up a few "normal" bras. Have I lost a lot? Well, considering I was always too embarrassed to get the girls professionally fitted they are down a cup from what I used to wear (still haven't gotten them professionally fitted) and depending on the maker of the bra it's possible they have been downsized even two cups. Yowza. I'm feeling a lot better about them; sometimes I do miss them when I wear a top where they used to be more front-and-center...but that could just be similar to how us ladies feel when we have a dramatic haircut. I love the fact that dresses zip up with ease now (remind me to tell you about the day I was a bridesmaid dressed in burgundy...) and they fit as they should in all the right ways and in all the right places. Now I have to work on the tummy I extended to compensate for the prominent chest. Not to fret: I am not going under the knife for that one. That will be a battle I will tackle solo. I've done it before and I'll conquer it again! Hopefully sooner rather than later. What's the point of wearing cute tops if your belly's sticking out?!

Aidan-alert: I'm not quite sure where this is going, or if it's even going anywhere. More musings on that in a little while. The last time I saw him was for a great Karsh photography exhibit at the Glenbow. Despite all the texts back and forth it was the first time I'd physically seen him in months. He was all adorable in a button-down shirt, all serious about getting cultural. I was Saturday-slack. *dropped ball* I thought we'd just check out the photos (which were amazing, by the way, and I loved reading Karsh's notes on his impressions of the subjects) and then be on our way. Instead it turned into a super-long re-acquaintance with the museum. I'm pretty confident we visited every single exhibit. He had this incredible little commentary on a particular sculpture when all I had to contribute was "it's really pretty." Once again with the dropped ball. Then we had a yummy yummy uber late lunch at Sakana Grill -- but that worked out well 'cuz it was happy hour. (By the way, did you know they actually have free customer parking now? Newsflash to Leah)

It was a fabulous day. I'm not going to lie: visions of summer festival and field trip fun did polkas in my brain. Happy little me. And to my credit I did suggest that we have another field trip soon. Whether or not that next field trip happens is in his court, or I would very much like it to be in his court. But the boy does not seem keen on making plans with me. Alas and le sigh.

So...options. As much as my heart isn't really into it I've been trying to keep myself open to other potential guys. There was this one (does he get his own name yet? Enh, we'll call him Boeing) who started messaging me on online-dating-site-which-shall-remain-nameless-on-here. The guy is great and we have lots to talk about. He's a self-professed airplane geek so it was really cool to hear his impressions on the new Dreamliner coming out and what it would be like to fly on the just-announced see-through Airbus. He works for one of my favorite airlines, and to boot he used to work for one of my favorite cruise lines. Conversation at dinner was effortless but at the end of the date I just didn't feel any real attraction to him. And it was kind of creepy that he was dressed very similar to Aidan from just a few days before. (Oh, and that we had dinner where Aidan and I had tried to go for dinner just a few days before. Is someone up there playing with me?!) He'd make an amazing friend, though, given the interests we have in common. Not words guys who go on dating sites want to hear, I'm sure. He's also pretty new to the city and I think it'd be a blast to show him around. Maybe I'll get to do all those festivals and field trips this summer, just not with the companion I had in mind. But at the same time I don't want to potentially lead him on if he thinks these outings are going to be "dates." Hmmph. Mountains. Molehills. Beans.

Also, not so long ago Berger came out of the woodwork. Predictably, he was going to be in town for a wedding and wondered if I wanted to hook up. He's not even trying to sugarcoat it anymore, folks. We're just not going to go there, thanksandbuhbye.

So to get you completely up to speed I had a great dinner last night with a friend I made at my last continuing ed class. Somehow Aidan came up in the conversation and I found myself confiding in her about the frustration of how slow things seem with him. Turns out she used to date a guy similar in stereotype to Aidan and she experienced the same deal..."like pulling teeth." So now this was interesting, see. Are guys of this particular make/model all like this? But Aidan had a girlfriend for a long time and she seemed to have no problem going out and doing things with him (whoa, Leah, didn't mean to compare myself with someone of "girlfriend" status) What made her so different that she gets to go and have fun activities with him and I don't?

Surely I cannot be just imagining this. He has talked about how they have gone to the ballet, how she somehow got him to take dance lessons with her... I think I've maybe seen him face to face 7 times in one year. I've lost count, but I'm almost certain it's less than 10 times. He's always in touch, but never face time.

I'm afraid I may very well be a poster child for those "He's Just Not That Into You" authors. Egads.

Anyway, not that she was offering up a solution/distraction to the Aidan drama but I guess my name came up when she was out with some other friends...being that I am single and in their age group. Insert single guy of same age group. I stressed to her that I was hoping she wasn't mentioning this all with our sole common trait being our single status -- hate when people do that. She admitted it was part of the reason, because singles in our age group are a "rare breed." Really?! But aside from that she gave a good pitch for the guy. "Open mind," thought Leah...

So after dinner we went back to her condo and she showed me some of his photos on a popular social networking site. By the end of the night she suggested we befriend each other. Is that how modern matchmaking works? So she helped me creep his profile, and possible he's done the same to mine. Neither one of us has made a peep as of yet. I guess we'll see.

Walking on Sunshine, Whoooooooa

2011-05-10T13:18:00.003-06:00

Well, not quite, but it is a gorgeous day outside. And things seem to be progressing nicely *knock on wood*

So exactly 7 days ago I was probably snapping out of my anesthetic and the deed was done. So how was it?

I would say the pain was at its worst straight out of surgery, in the recovery room. The nurses would ask me for my number -- on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being mild and 10 being the worst pain I have ever experienced (that's practically verbatim, folks) -- and I said 5 off the bat. Unfortunately, she couldn't give me any painkillers yet as my breathing was still really slow. By the time she was able to administer anything I rated the pain at a 6. I don't know what the nurse gave me but it must have been some pretty terrific stuff because my number was never back up there again.

The rest of the day and into the evening I rated the pain at 1 or 2, at times even as ambitious as 0. Just like my very first surgery (a corneal transplant in 7th grade) I was taking the pain medication out of fear that there was actually pain hiding there somewhere and I was magically suppressing it...a proactive measure, I guess you could say. But I relaxed when I realized that the discomfort was barely there long after the medication was to have worn off. The only time I have take any painkillers now is before I take a bath.

Staying in what I jokingly call house arrest is ridiculously boring. The first couple of days I was groggy and I felt tight. I hated how my only options seemed to be to sit down or to lie down. Sitting down was numbing. Lying down was no fun for my back. I couldn't, and sadly I still cannot, do anything productive like the laundry or sorting out my closet. I have gone on short little excursions since Friday. So far so good. I avoid putting the seat belt across my chest and only use the lap portion. Dad has been a doll and driving me around again, and my mom has been an angel with baths. I cannot bend over, reach, raise my arms over my head, to the point where I feel like I am impersonating a stiff little robot.

I am grateful that I underwent this procedure while still living at home, if only for all the help my mom has given me. Of course my dad has been a blessing, too, but lots of others could drive me around. But my mom has seen the gross recovery business and stitches and such. It is very humbling being a grown woman and having to be bathed by your mom. I cannot imagine if I was married or living with a guy at the moment. Yeah yeah, if they loved me they wouldn't be grossed out and they'd be helping me yadda yadda. But still, I'm sure it would be a turn-off, if not for them then for me not feeling sexy with them looking at it. And plus, I have read that arousal can be painful during this time, so I'm just going to avoid that entirely right now.

Tomorrow is my follow up with my surgeon. Including my initial consultation years ago I think I have spent at most an hour and a half (alert and not passed out on the operating table) with him. Better get my questions ready; I always draw a blank when asked.

Hey girls, hey boys, superstar DJs....HERE WE GO!

2011-05-02T23:57:00.003-06:00

It's time, ladies and gentlemen. In 10 hours I'm going to be headed into the OR and about 2 hours later (or so they tell me) I should be a little less stacked. Farewell back problems, digging underwires, and stupid social comments? Let's hope so.

It's the Final Countdown...

2011-04-24T22:37:00.003-06:00

In nine days I am going to lie on a table, close my eyes, and wake up a little less stacked. It has been consuming a lot of my "thinking-time" as of late. I still worry, but if I was truly terrified I think I would have backed out by now. What troubles me the most is the recovery. I don't know what to expect. Or actually, I've been told what to expect and have heard from those who have undergone the procedure what I can expect, but I am hoping for better. Wisdom teeth? That was a breeze; the surgeon was surprised I was on the phone when he did his evening follow-up call. Corneal transplant? A piece of cake. Yes, I was out of school for a while (I can't even remember how long anymore) but I do not recall any pain or discomfort...just an inconvenience if anything. My parotidectomy? That one was a little gross -- I recall getting faint when the time came for the doctor to remove that icky drain post-op. I mean, yes, I was happy to get rid of it but I was shocked at how I swooned when he went to take it out.

Based on my research this next one sounds to be the grossest yet. And the most uncomfortable. What a summer this will be! I already think of how I am going to miss going to the pool. Manny Pacquiao fights 4 days after my surgery. The family always goes to Limericks to watch his fights. They think I am overreacting when I think I won't be able to go out that early. I guess we will see.

Last night I had a dream about operation day. It had the most ridiculous concerns in it (ie. I bought a painting RIGHT before surgery and they had to bring it into the OR with me because I had no room assignment yet!) and I wonder if this is my mind's way of making light of the situation. If only I could fast forward through this operation and recovery and get to the "Leah feeling good, feeling great" stage I'd be one happy girl. I wonder if I'll feel relieved as soon as I wake up after the surgery? It can only go uphill from there.

The Biggest Loser

2011-03-06T11:02:00.004-07:00

So...it's happening. After all these years contemplating having a breast reduction I never thought it would actually happen. And you know what? I got a call to set up a surgery date. Oh. My. God. So May 3rd I will become a little less stacked. I would say de-stacked or un-stacked, but let's not get drastic here. Uber scared! I have been thinking about it non-stop. Is this surgery really necessary? Everyone I have talked to who has had the procedure done say they wish they had it done earlier, that I will be so happy I got it done, blah blah blah. I hear that. I understand it. Guess I'm just a big pansy when it comes to surgeries, pain, and the like. My past surgeries have not been that painful, though they were more crucial operations. In this case I'm lying on the operating table for something that isn't really crucial to my health (unless you want to talk about sore backs, emotional happiness, etc.) but all the information I have read make it sound horrible. Let's face it, they're going to carve out a fairly substantial bit of flesh out of me -- like a butcher shop! -- and then stitch up what's left so it closes?! The stretching and the tightness as it heals....eeek! My friend has said I probably won't be driving for a month. She didn't work for a whole month! Since I've got a desk job I hope to be back in 2 weeks max, but how am I supposed to know until I actually experience it? There isn't going to be any reaching over and grabbing things from the corners of my desk, from off of the shelves. The driving thing - I think - won't be so bad. Yeah, I won't have as much freedom to go wherever I want, but it won't be forever. And with the gas prices climbing, I'll save a bit of money! Hehe.

Because of the upcoming date, though, I'm hesitant to sign up for a couple more courses at school. It would be best if I took them online, but I don't know what mindset I'll be in at that time. I was hoping to knock down two classes, but maybe if I just take one? One class would be more affordable considering I will probably be missing out on a paycheque while I recuperate.

As you may probably guess, I am constantly looking for "cons" that make this procedure not worth the hassle (horrible sentence!) But it's just nerves and fear. Once I'm at the hospital and they knock me out there will be no backing out...and then I'm positive I will be happy in the end.

Just because I keep looking for negatives to justify backing out does not mean that reminders to the positive are not present. For instance, mom's friend found a great coat on sale and she gave me the opportunity to buy it off of her. It all fits great EXCEPT across the chest. Big surprise, right?! However, once I get these girls proportioned to the rest of my body that coat is going to be fabulous. And another time I was putzing around online when a random guy (not totally random, he remembered me from somewhere but I don't know who he is) IM'd me out of the blue and asked me who I was. Before I could even answer it dawned on him. Something like this:
"Leah, right? Gorgeous. Big boobs."

Yeah guys, keep talking like that. It makes me want you soooooo much. Just feed the fire. I hate to say it because I know it looks like I am taking outside comments too personally but I am REALLY tired of people commenting on my chest. Really. Tired. Heaven forbid that I am going through this surgery because of people like you, but I would be lying if I said you were not a factor in this decision.

That being said I'm sad to think Aidan may be gone again. We just don't talk much at the moment and I haven't seen him in over a month. It feels like 5 years ago all over again. I'm just waiting for that message saying he's dating someone. Maybe it's for the best. Even if he were around my best guess is we wouldn't see much of each other while I recover anyway. And who knows how long that will be. I hate losing again but if he's not interested nothing will keep him around. Maybe I should just undergo an Aidan-reduction along with my surgery. Get all the pain over with.

"Love is a Mix Tape"

2011-02-17T23:49:00.003-07:00

Hoh ho! You get two days of posting in a row; you lucky dog!

My coffee table is a whole to-do of books to read. You would think I would just write a list of things I would like to read someday. Instead, I end up with all these impulse purchases from our local bookstore, with a mental post-it note to read it sometime. On one day of wandering through the shelves I came across the cover "Talking to Girls About Duran Duran." Being that I am an amateur Duran Duran nut the book caught my attention right away. So then I found out the book was the second one written by Rob Sheffield; and Mr. Sheffield first wrote a book called "Love is a Mix Tape." So since the second book was only available in hardcover (and I'm not a fan of hardcover) and the first looked like an easy read in paperback it jumped into my open hands and came with me to the cash register.

The store clerk was really excited by my purchase...to the point that I was embarrassed that I had never heard of the author. At any rate, a consumer is always glad to receive some praise that he or she has made the right choice.

Anyway, I just finished the book and it is gorgeous. Think "High Fidelity" -- 'cuz it certainly runs in the same field -- but more honest. It's almost so open at times that I felt rude for intruding into his private and cherished memories. Apparently, Sheffield is a writer for the Rolling Stone and other fantabulous music magazines. Each chapter comes with its own soundtrack. The book is brilliant (but not genius).

I can't wait to read the second one. Alas, it does not come out in paperback until April. At least I have other books that I have not read yet to pass the time.

That's all from me today. I just felt like I would be doing everyone a huge disservice by not at least trying to let you guys know how marvelous the book is.

When the door shuts, it's like another papercut

2011-02-16T23:55:00.003-07:00

I was heaving a whole stack of catalogs onto a rack this afternoon when one of the thick covers gave me a nasty papercut. Lovely.

Can't tell you why this always stuck with me but one class in high school, I couldn't tell you which subject, the teacher spent a whole lesson on suffering. A papercut was an example of senseless suffering. There is no purpose or lesson to be learned from the pain it causes. It just hurts. Nothing you can do about it. Pretty much no remedy for it. Just let it sting and irritate you as long as it will. Boy, do those buggers really get to you.

So then it made me think about my current situation, if you can call it that. Not that it just popped into my head. It had been marinating in my head for many a day now. It's all about a boy.

As far as I can see Aidan has cut me off yet again. No hints. No warning. I have gone from some form of daily acknowledgment to deep cold NADA.

But this should be a papercut, right? We were never in a "relationship" or anything defined as such. He didn't owe me anything. So why does it sting? Oh, I don't know, probably because it is happening again. A-gain. It sure makes me look foolish.

And then the girl in me starts piping up with all the girly logic and girly excuses. "You know, maybe this is all a massive misunderstanding and he's on the other end wondering why you've stopped talking to him." Those kind of thoughts. I could call, but the thought of the phone just ringing or going straight to voicemail just gets me twisted even more. There is nothing you can do to make someone else acknowledge you. Nothing. They can ignore. Block. Hide. Pretty much just fall off your grid completely. And if you do make an effort to try and find them, see them face to face, well all of a sudden you're a creepster.

"My brain's all broken but I'm feeling alright. I feel like I'm choking but I'm feeling alright. I'm going down fast but I'm feeling alright. I'm not gonna last but I'm feeling. All. Right."

All I feel like doing is bracing myself for history to repeat itself and go through the complete cut-off once again. In keeping with the creepster/creeper thoughts I've been checking on his social media page to see if I'm still his "friend." Yeah, I'm still there...for now. But honestly, what am I supposed to do when I'm officially unfriended? Perhaps I should be pro-active and be the first to cut ties, but again, what's the point? Let him do all the work. If I don't know the situation then I can milk the innocent card in this matter.

How lovely it was when I thought this time would be so much different.

2011

2011-01-12T19:53:00.003-07:00

Happy New Year, boys and girls!

So...another year. Some stuff new and more of the same. New job? Check. (Since my separation with my former employer I have heard through the grapevine of at least 4 more employees who are no longer with them...and they are not hiring any replacements! Someone was seriously looking out for me when they ousted me. Hidden blessings, I tell you all.) New path? Also check. Happier times? You betcha.

The creeper who comes and visits my blog still has not identified his or herself (FYI: Bellini is spelled with two Ls. I know you still get directed to my page, but get it right) and I do not want to be paranoid but it'd really ease my mind if you would just let me know who you are. Over the past little while I have met some characters who I would rather not be reading this page -- really, my life is none of your concern -- and I realize the internet is public and a privacy free-for-all but it would be so nice not to have to take my blog down to a private level. Much thanks.

Boys. I recently had a hot little dream about Berger...perhaps it was unfinished business resolving itself in my sleep, and I'm sure a recent chat with him after who knows how long didn't help suppress his memory, either. What I was not expecting, however, was to feel like such utter crap the next morning. And worse, in some convoluted way it felt like I had cheated on Aidan!

I adore Aidan and feeling like I had somehow hurt him really troubled me. I don't know if he would actually care that I had the Berger dream. Berger being a threat is virtually non-existent due to his living far, far away. (Well, not that far, but farther than I would care to drive for sure.) And that's the other thing: threat to what? Aidan and I aren't together -- I don't think -- but we also have not talked about it. Are we on the same page? I don't believe he is seeing anyone else but we don't spend much time together that he couldn't be seeing others. Does he assume I'm seeing others? Does he want us to be seeing others? Grrrr.

All this could be resolved with a straight-out conversation. I realize that. But I don't want to crumble the status quo, either. If we had a talk and he didn't want to be exclusive do you realize how weird that would be? Awwwwwkward. And if we were to be exclusive could we make enough time for one another to actually have something substantial? I don't know how he did things with his ex-girlfriend but I definitely need more together-time than what I've got now.

But if there isn't something there am I ruining my odds of meeting other guys? I'm not looking. You know me; I'm never looking. But if the right guy were to find me would I feel free to see him or have I convinced myself in some girlie-logic way that I'm already with Aidan? (Hold up, is Aidan actually the right guy?) Girlie-logic does not always reconcile with what is actually going on. We know that. So then is Aidan like some kind of relationship placebo? Blah

"...and another one gone and another one gone...."

2010-12-16T00:36:00.003-07:00

Talk about timing but I noticed something looked amiss on my blog.

Turns out blogrolling.com "ceased" operations as of last month. The inner packrat in me freaked out...all those blogs I used to read on the regular GONE!

But - surprise! - I had saved a few of my old blog pages that show my old templates and blah blah blah...problem solved; found all my old blogging peeps. And then came the great purge. Blogger offers a blogroll of sorts, but I had to add them in one by one. Now was a great time as any to finally organize the list.

I knew a lot of people had stopped writing - some have even dismantled their blog and it's as if it never existed - so I had to figure out which to keep and which (that were still online but not necessarily active) to toss.

If I know you personally or if I've had any interaction with you over all these blogging years I have kept you on. Alas, some of you are long gone and it was with great sadness that I had to get rid of your link. *pours some beer on the blog tombstone* "This one's for my homies.

Some of the ones I have kept are uber old and I have no personal tie to them whatsoever...but I loved reading them so there they stay.

I even added one (ONE!) new blog that was a suggested read. Even this new blog does not post all too often so I do not feel too too bad about my own little blog.

Is Twitter killing blogging? I noticed some old reads saying sayonara to bloggerland and inviting everyone to add their twitter account. Don't get me wrong, I like those little mini-updates but how does one speak their mind in 140 characters or less? Huh? Riddle me that.

Oy vay, the blogroll has been decimated. Ah well, it had to be done, no? And if some old blog pals come across this and want to let me know what's new drom me a line!

Times Square(d)

2010-12-05T23:51:00.003-07:00

“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.” ~ Albert Einstein

There is an Einstein exhibit going on at the Telus World of Science and you know I had to just go and check it out.

Unfortunately, there was not a lot of hands-on science-y stuff to do re: Einstein. But what I didn't learn about Einstein's discoveries I DID learn about Einstein the person. A lot of the exhibit were letters he had written to various people (presidents, fellow scientists, journalists, and lovers. Yes, lovers. Apparently, Einstein was quite the ladies man. *thinks about whether she would have fallen for Einstein's charm back in the day*) The quote above wasn't at the exhibit; I found it in an article later on. But you've got to admit...how much of his brilliance was he holding back from us by being a normal guy and doing daily "normal guy" things?

The quote also made me think of my current schedule. I think I've got myself spread a little thin right now; but thankfully that will all clear up within the next week or so.

For the past little while in an effort to get my life all shiny and awesome again I have been working out, taking swim lessons (more workout AND fun), and my accounting night class. After all that the only evenings I have possibly had for myself is the weekends. Then you add in helping out around the house and blah blah blah and basically my moments to corral my sanity back into place are late at night...just like now.

And I don't quite know what Aidan thinks of me. Back to the high school drama. He says he misses me...but that meant a very specific sentiment back in the day. Back in the day, as you all know, I got hurt. Really don't want to go through all that again.

Yet naive little me wants to be positive and optimistic. I have had very little time to spend with Aidan. We finally managed a short coffee time a week or so ago (see, I can't even remember). In my defense, it's not just my schedule that gets in the way of seeing him. He works a lot and the past few times when he's been free it falls on the night I've got class so...sucks all around.

But this past weekend he actually had time to get together. I would have loved to see him for a little while. But do you think I could get it to pan out? Pfft.

So this is where my girlie-mind goes all bananas. With the lack of seeing him it would only be logical (again, girlie-mind logic) for him to bond with someone who has a more compatible schedule. Girlie-mind also hopes that "missing" is more of a match with all dictionary definitions of the term compared to several years ago.

I think Einstein is telling me to go park the car and pay more attention to the kiss. :P And I'd really love to do that, if it's not too late; but I also do not want to be played for a fool. How opposite of Einstein would THAT be?!

The Smell of Days Gone By

2010-11-17T23:25:00.004-07:00

An update on my health:

Yeah, I graduated from the Tom Baker Centre. They don't want to see me anymore. But I still check in with my ENT surgeon once a year to see how things are going. For the longest while, the worst byproduct of my radiation ordeal was my ear. It is so dry in there because it no longer produces its own oils so dirt and all sorts of nastiness just build up in there and my normal body functions do not kick into gear to clear it out like it should. So lo and behold, I had experienced my very first ear infection as a grown adult. Never had that problem as a kid, go figure.

But other than the inconvenience of having to go every so often for him to clean it out (I don't dare take a Q-Tip to the area anymore) everything seemed alright. Until I guess one time he got it especially clean and noticed exposed bone in my ear. EXPOSED BONE! He figured the skin and tissues inside had sloughed off post-radiation and he referred me to a specialist to see what they could do for me. He figured they might graft some skin in there. Honestly, how doctors can work with such little regions of the human body amazes me to no end. Or can you imagine them performing such a procedure on a baby?! Even smaller!

So half a year went by and no call from the specialist. This upset my doc but hey, this is how specialists are in my experience. Luckily for me another specialist had just moved into the city so he sent in a referral with the new doctor as a Plan B.

Well wouldn't you know it but I got a call from the specialist's receptionist less than a week later, and they would have got me in to see him sooner had it not been for my work schedule.

He took a look at it, cleaned it out (sad but I feel like such a slob that they have to clean it all the time) and he sent in a requisition for a CT scan so he could know better just how much excess bone we were dealing with. Notice that he said EXCESS. I didn't think to ask him in the moment but does he mean to tell me that I just have extra bone building up in my ear?!

And to add to my queasiness, he made no mention of grafting skin to patch things up. His first guess at a solution was grinding the bone if it truly bothered me. I don't think grinding was quite the word he used but regardless, it makes me twitch just thinking about it.

By the way, it was uncanny timing but after waiting an eternity for the first specialist he finally called and set me up with an appointment pretty much a month after the first specialist. My surgeon's receptionist suggested I hold onto the appointment in case this new guy couldn't do anything for me. I don't know about you but after meeting up with the new one and hearing about bone grinding I'm keen on seeing the other guy just to see what he says. He kept me waiting this long there is no way he's not going to see me.

Anyway, yeah, CT scan. Even THAT got scheduled lickety-split. That always makes me a little nervous...like it's urgent and there's some sort of dire situation they aren't telling me about.

So I had the CT scan this past Monday. I haven't had a CT scan in years! The past few years of followup have all been MRIs. The drive to the diagnostic imaging centre took 4 times as long as my scan. No lie! The scan was all of 5 minutes. But within those 5 minutes a familiar smell came into the room. I can't tell if it comes from the equipment or what but it was a smell I only ever came across during radiation therapy. That brought up some miserable feelings.

It's not a smell I would like to ever encounter again. In fact I think my breath caught for a moment when I recognized it.

So I'll hear about the results after a week or so they tell me. I hope he comes up with a better solution than inner-ear-bone-grinding. At any rate I still have my back up plan appointment with the original specialist in 2 weeks. It feels kind of weird "shopping" around for more desirable medical treatment.

I always feel like somebody's watching me...

2010-11-04T23:55:00.003-06:00

I'm sure everyone has done it at least once since they have discovered the joys of the internet. Admit it; you have Googled yourself at least once. At least.

It came up as a random topic of conversation in the office today so sure enough we all looked ourselves up on Google for an update. I had not looked at my results for quite some time so I was surprised to see the very first match was for a site I had never heard of before.

It gave me goosebumps when I clicked on the link. I would like to think that I am fairly savvy when it comes to protecting my privacy online. When news comes around of new sites gathering information and compiling them per person I do my best to make sure my details are masked and such...but this one was new. Sure, it had my age wrong and it was pretty obvious it had gathered a lot of my info off of the major-social-media-site-which-will-remain-unnamed, but yet there I was in fairly legitimate print. Chills.

It reminded me (very much so) about all my celebrity boy crushes when I was young. I still have my binder tucked away in my closet - every single photo and article I could find on my favorite actors. And where articles became repetitive I opted to TYPE out a huge point-form file on each guy, complete with subject headers. Pages and pages and pages of the trivial and mundane.

By the way, Jonathan Brandis' (RIP) first car was a Nissan Maxima.

PLEASE don't call me a stalker. I just Googled that bit of J.B. trivia and it turns out I was not alone out there with regards to people who felt this factoid about him was worth noting.

Which is why this new site freaked me out; I am faaaaaar from being a major celebrity but any soul curious enough to dig for some info on me does not have to try very hard. They don't have to bribe any governmental institutions to read about me. It's like "Creeping for Dummies."

A major reason why this is all so concerning to me is I met an uber passive-aggressive guy last year who still seems to think there's a chance I'll change my mind and run back to him. By no means am I trying to convey some kind of attitude that I think I'm hot sh!t but when a guy finds you on three (3!) different networks and tries to contact you via every single one of them then I suppooooose he's trying pretty hard.

But when the attention is unwanted it is all. too. creepy.

And now my blog - which has always been of great comfort to me - is seeing increased hits locally. Sure, it could just be my friends. They used to read this on the regular. But we all know my poor little blog has not seen a whole lot of action even from yours truly these past couple of years. The pessimist in me wants to put two and two together and figure it's mr passive-aggressive reading up on me way too much.

So if I think the new found attention is so creepy then why am I writing about it on here? Savvy question. Giving whoever-this-is some acknowledgment in my blog kind of validates that his behavior is achieving some kind of result, no? Bad move? I guess what I am doing by directing some light on the situation is hoping *fingers crossed* that if it IS a good friend or anyone other than mr p-a that they'll just let me know they've been around...it sure would ease a lot of my discomfort. I refuse to scrap my blog - I do not want to play victim to my own paranoia - but if I absolutely have to, common sense would tell me just to flip the switch on my thoughts and make them private.

Better run while you can

2010-10-12T23:22:00.003-06:00

I sighed as I saw the numbers on the scale scowling back at me at the end of my workout today. It definitely was not a surprise but most certainly it was a wake-up call. Almost all of the great work I had done over the past few years is now gone. Talk about sitting on ones achievements.

And not even half an hour before that I had a terrible scare. My "regular" elliptical trainer workout was difficult...so difficult. I slowed my pace, figuring so long as I put in my time on the machine it was better than blasting through a shorter period of time. My knees were starting to ache, my legs were rebelling against the workout, walking backward (in my futile attempt to develop a butt. I have since read that there are NO exercises one can do to create a more prominent bum than the one you already possess. Woe is me...but that's for another time) was choppy and lacked any fluidity whatsoever. Two-thirds of the way into my session I debated whether I should give it a rest for the day. It has been a few days since my last workout and with the gastronomical wrecking ball that is Thanksgiving I felt I needed to push myself further...almost like a penance for the weekend's overindulgence.

That was completely unwise, as it turned out. In the last 10 minutes I started to notice I would feel dizzy whenever I looked down to my timer. By the end of my workout - after pushing myself unnecessarily, I'm sure - I was absolutely out of sorts. Panic set in. I had just experienced my colleague having a cardiac emergency right in our office, almost exactly a year after daddy's bypass. My heart wasn't racing but I wondered how I could possibly drive myself home? I did not want to call my dad as he would probably worry too much. But what if I didn't snap out of this dizzy spell and I didn't ask for help before it got worse? I sat down, not much relief there. Finally I grabbed a mat and lay down, staring at the ceiling.

I'm not sure how long I lay there but a lot of thoughts went through my head as my body started to calm down. I was disappointed at how I had let all my good work go to waste. It will probably be much harder to lose the weight this time around. I was upset that I had broken my promise to my uncle. The soreness of my knee is a coincidental reminder of how I failed in that respect. Every day I get more and more bummed out about how my clothes are fitting but thus far it has been all talk and complaining with no substantial action to make things right again. Blah.

So as I got up off the mat (dizziness subsided) and walked over to the scale I already knew what I needed to do. Seeing those numbers just made it more real. I couldn't be in denial and think I was just getting "a little bit" bigger. The threat of being back at my worst is much too close for comfort.

My Endless Love

2010-09-27T12:24:00.002-06:00

This past weekend was baby sis' birthday weekend and as luck would have it there were quite a few shows to treat her to. Her best friend took her to Cirque de Soleil's Kooza - which worked out well since I am not a fan. Then on Friday us siblings went out to the Calgary Philharmonic's tribute to Michael Jackson: Thriller. On Saturday, baby sis and I joined up with some friends and took in Mamma Mia at the Jubilee.

A music-filled weekend! Not only did it involve songs that I adore but it lit a fire under one of my true loves: music. Listening to the orchestra and watching them perform under their conductor brought out the eternal band geek in me. As much as I griped about the practices back in high school I would love to relive those times now. I haven't touched my saxophone in a loooooong time. The same goes for my piano, I rarely play the keys anymore. Now that my life is back to happiness and sunshine I can only imagine how much more joyful it would be if I brought my instruments back into the mix!

When I used to work for the previous employer I had an amazing couple as clients and the husband performs with an adult band/orchestra as a pastime. I considered it briefly, but I knew I could never make a regular commitment working under my office conditions at the time. Perhaps it is time to take a look into it once again.

Lose Yourself

2010-09-23T10:46:00.004-06:00

I have found myself in a deep and sad little funk as of late...and who knew it would be weight-related?! At my heaviest I didn't care about my size. I was happy, I loved clothes, I had fun and really did not see anything wrong with me.

But since I "crossed over" I realized the thinner world was such a delicate place to be; I would almost say it lowered my self-esteem. The old Leah went on dates and enjoyed herself. Now she goes on fewer dates and worries that she looks awfully big compared to other girls these guys must have dated. And then she starts to wonder why they are even willing to go out with her.

Was I a freak? Achieving a better body is supposed to build confidence, not shatter it. I thought I was awesome back in the day so what happened?!

So then I figured there must be a happy medium. I all but gave up following my diet. It brought a little bit of joy back but not the right kind. As you will recall I was in a very toxic work situation so I tried to scramble about and find happiness where I could. Happiness ended up being a lot of the carby goodness I restricted myself before, so you can see how that would end up. Like I said: it was not the right kind of joy. Now I am in a happier work environment and to top it off all my colleagues are in successful weight-loss mode. This should be good, right? It would be excellent....if only I could kick my butt back into the groove. Instead, I just get more and more bummed out as my pants start to get tighter. I do not feel sexy at all. To the point where I don't even want any guys to see me at the moment. I see all these awesome clothes that I want that I could have bought back when I was smaller only to feel more despair when I realize it does not fit at the moment so why bother shopping?! Man, even shopping therapy won't help right now!

I keep saying to myself "just one more fry and then I'll get back on track" or "I don't have time for the gym now, maybe next week." I'm not sure where I found the motivation before but I have to get it back.

It's All Just a Little Bit of History Repeating

2010-09-07T00:48:00.003-06:00

"Are you dating?" she asked.

I replied "no" because that's the truth. Or at least I'm pretty sure it is. If we were dating I'd probably/hopefully see him more often and we would most likely have longer conversations...you know, that sort of thing. But what is scary is that I think nothing has changed in all these years. I'm still looking for more. Chances are I'm going to get hurt again. Need to nip this in the bud.

I have been trying to meet up with other guys, and what is strange is that they are more my "type" but yet I still cannot seem to get very excited about it at all. Maybe I have been wrong about my type all along. Deep down I realize that doesn't make sense; I have more to talk about with these guys. I suppose until one of them asks me that one specific question I am pretty much fair game for anyone. But what then? Would I get excited about it then? So much for rainbows and unicorns. But if any of them say they want to guard and protect my heart...that's pretty much a dealbreaker. (If that made no sense to you look up Kasey from Bachelorette 2010)

What's funny is all the advice and hints he gave me when the favorite was around seem to apply to him as well. Is this his way of pointing out that we're never going to work out? He "taught" me this stuff so I guess when I do get hurt basically he can tell me I should have known better.

I just told him tonight that I feel so high school. That may be the hugest understatement I have ever made.

Step By Step

2010-08-29T22:45:00.002-06:00

Tonight, I did it. I signed up for a course in continuing education.

A tad scared...not going to lie. It's been - let's just say a while - since I've done the textbook/homework/exam bit. And as excited as I am to start this journey I figured it would be best to pace myself and ease back into it. Hence, the (let's hope) easy-peasey ONE class this semester. But things are so different now. I was not working full time the last time I was in school. I was also more accustomed to studying and doing classwork back then.

At any rate, what an adventure this is going to be!

May I also add that since changing companies I've had a HUGE turnaround in my life. I knew my past job was toxic but I had no clue...none...how draining it was on me. This was where the whole "I have got to get out and do something better for myself...I deserve more" mission started to grow within me. Really, I should not have been surprised when I asked my former employer to consider accommodating my night courses into the work schedule that there would be no support there. I am ashamed to admit that had events not fallen together these past couple of months I would still be working there, passive and complacent and letting the toxicity eat me alive. Kind of funny that the kindest thing she ever did for me was getting rid of me.

But it also makes me wonder. If I had been placed in another office would I still be looking for a way out of this industry? As much as I love my job, I think it would have eventually surfaced no matter where I was working. It's not that I don't love my job. (Truth be told, I was hating it at the old office. But this new office has revived me like you would not believe!) I still very much enjoy what I do, and I feel I am fantastic in my position. But I see those who work alongside me and their roles in life are very much different than mine. To them this work is like a hobby, a way to kill time and have fun. Many of them are in dual-income relationships. A lot of them could retire and just relax at home. I feel like I have yet to live my life and, hate to say it, but money plays huge in that. I'm not looking for a sugar daddy...but gosh would that be fun! No no, I have to find something I can enjoy doing but that will take care of me cash-wise. Alas, welcome to real life.

So wish me luck! Since I will not be a full-time student this will be a journey several years in the making. But by the end I hope to still be happy but with more money and time to live life. It has been 8 years since my cancer adventure. I cannot live my life anymore without thinking long-term and future. This girl is going to be around for a while. Count on it.

Insurance

2010-07-19T15:35:00.002-06:00

I watched dating drama unfold for a friend the other night. Hearing - secondhand - both sides of the tale made me contemplate how much of the drama we create for ourselves. Does it all stem from a common source? One thing I noticed right away was that we all deal with it differently.

Maybe there are other factors uniqute to each situation but it seems clear to me that a lot of our drama is fueled by insecurity. Examples that come to mind:
- Latina's recent dating scenario
- Mr Guy the relationship addict and his domestic bliss
- Myself - yes, I recognized (for the first time?!) that I harbor some insecurities

Let's start with Mr Guy as he is the most dated example and it won't take long to break him down.

My feeling was he was too insecure to be comfortable with his singledom. His track record BL (Before Leah)hinted at it from the get-go. Married, then long-term relationship, then engaged. After we met for the first time he vanished off the face of the Earth. You can probably guess what happened: an ex came back into the picture. Why try something new when you already know what's comfortable?

Like a rookie dater I chased after him because nothing is more maddening than someone that vanishes. Eventually he showed up again but I had already tired of the game. And it didn't help things that he tried to pick up every single girl I introduced him to.

Thankfully for everyone involved he finally found someone to take up his offer.

Obviously, in relationships there are wants or needs that each person fulfills for the other. From the obvious and superficial level she granted him the relationship he felt he needed and he, in turn, provided her with an opportunity to move out.

It will be interesting to take inventory of what I am wanting and compare it to what I feel I have to offer.

No Need to Wait

2010-06-13T14:18:00.004-06:00

I read an article in today's newspaper and felt compelled to jump onto the soapbox that was once my blog. As many of you know, I'm not much of a follower in all things political/governmental so this will be more of an emotional response but I felt I had to say something.

The article can be found here. but I have cut and paste the article at the bottom of this post in case this link ever disappears.

A while ago I wrote about how I panicked when the Tom Baker Centre had decided that I had graduated out of my annual follow-up appointments. Reading today's article made me realize how very fortunate I had been - and for so long, too.

I remember when I had my first appointment at the Tom Baker. Talk about a whirlwind. Following my parotidectomy they did a biopsy of my lump - standard procedure - and found it to be a bad guy. I don't think it was even a week after my surgeon told me the news and I was already walking into the Tom Baker with my parents to find out what was going to happen next.

I met so many resources that day: my oncologist, my nurse, my dietitian, a psychiatrist (I don't call him my psychiatrist because my family and I never made use of his services after that day. Was it pride? I don't know, but I think we handled everything well.) and many volunteers who help "cheer up" such a serious facility. Like I have mentioned before, I would love to give back and be one of those volunteers someday when I have the time they need of me. It was then that they decided that I would undergo 45 treatments of radiation just to make sure there were no lingering cancer cells. My dietitian told me what to expect as the treatments went on and how I was supposed to rally back by consuming as many calories as I could - you would think that would be a lot of fun! A few days later I was back for them to take a mold of my face so they could create my treatment mask. For the record I'm not sure what that mask thing is called.

And a few days after that I was up on that treatment table getting nuked five days a week for nine weeks. It seemed completely trivial at the beginning then of course it got progressively more difficult. My dietitian would constantly be on me to drink more Ensure and to try and eat as much as possible...a tricky feat considering the radiation was making my throat and mouth uncomfortable. My nurse would coach me on how I should slather my neck and cheek with Glaxalbase and gauze at bedtime to keep myself from going all crispy. Oy, the flaking! What an experience for a girl who had never experienced flaking sunburned skin in all her life!

I will always remember my cute radiation tech, though, with his cute New Zealand accent. Hearing him ask me if I had any "quistions" five times a week was a little bit of sunshine through it all.

And then just like that I was done. Free to bounce back and carry on with my life. A little bit of turbulence - a bumpy ride - and now back to our regular course.

So if you have read through all that and are still here I'm now going to comment on today's article. My experience was quick and relatively painless. Diagnosis - assessment - treatment - done. It was practically instantaneous from the minute they found out I had cancer. There was no time for me to dwell, barely any time for me to grieve or feel sorry for myself. It was just get her done and on with her life.

To read an article where the gentleman had to wait six months before his treatment could begin...I could never imagine what he was going through. Six months of sleepless nights wondering what was happening in his body every night he had to wait, would they still be able to treat him in time or was he getting worse? Six months of worry - and I believe that a part of the battle with cancer is mental, in your attitude, absolutely - would wear a person down and exhaust them. A waste when they need that strength all the more at a time like this.

And then to find out that some don't even get treatment at all?! How would I have felt if they had decided that I was chosen to have better odds for survival compared to the lady I had just met in the waiting room? To find out that I was the lucky one and they were going to treat me, but she would just have to tough it out?

How has so much changed in the 8 years since I had my treatment? Where are all the specialists? Where is all the money?

I used to be so proud of our health care system when I would talk to Mijo and other American pals. Now I'm not so sure. It is still wonderful that we do not have to worry about personal costs to maintain our health, but obviously the costs still come into play in the bigger picture. But if it turns out money that could be used to help all our neighbors and friends who are suffering and in discomfort is being spent on trivial things like that "fake lake" they keep mentioning in the news then I will be heartbroken. That's usually the case, isn't it? But I'd like to try and think positive.

Cancer delays leave patients in agony

Faced with fewer staff and more work, Alberta oncologists say they have been forced to make life-and-death decisions

By Jamie Komarnicki, Calgary Herald June 13, 2010

A part from the occasional sniffle and upset stomach, Boyne Lewis spent the first 68-and-a-half years of his life in good health.

The regular clean bill only made the diagnosis his doctor delivered in January more difficult to take: the Medicine Hat retiree had prostate cancer.

"I had no big medical problems at all. The first thing was the 'Big C,' " Lewis recalled.

"I never dreamed I'd be a candidate."

The diagnosis was unsettling, but knowing the cancer had been caught early enough for treatment was a relief, said Lewis.

Further good news came in March when he was referred to Calgary's Tom Baker Cancer Centre and learned he was a candidate for radiation.

Then, the bad news. The soonest appointment was the end of June -- six months from the time he was diagnosed.

Coping with the emotional toll of the diagnosis was difficult enough. Waiting for treatment knowing the cancer was spreading, said Lewis, was a different kind of anguish.

It's a medical limbo experienced by a disquieting number of some of Alberta's most sickly cancer patients.

Revelations recently that those with an advanced form of the disease in Edmonton are being denied treatment, while some in Calgary are waiting longer, spark some sobering questions around whether patient care is being seriously hindered by funding and staffing woes.

Faced with fewer staff and more work, oncologists have been forced to make life-and-death decisions, top Alberta cancer doctors say.

Patients whose treatment would save their life were bumped to the top of the list. Those all but certain to die of the disease were left waiting, uncertain if they would ever receive the procedures that could usher them into a less painful death. In the worst-case scenario with the Edmonton patients, they were left on their own to die.

It's not an easy call for any doctor to make, said a University of Calgary bioethicist.

"It's always tough. The role of the physician is to do the best with the patient before them," said Dr. Ian Mitchell.

"The role of the administrator is deciding what resources will be given; the role of the minister and the taxpayer is to decide how much money they're willing to put into health care."

Sandwiched somewhere in the middle, though, are patients like Lewis.

"Very uncomfortable is the only way I can describe it," Lewis said, of the lag time between treatment.

Lewis wasn't sick with the most advanced case of cancer, but he knows well the powerlessness of letting others determine your fate.

"To learn somehow in the bureaucracy a decision had been made that things would sit on the back burner -- maybe from a technical perspective that's appropriate. As a regular person, it's not appropriate."

Lewis, who was so distressed that he sent letters to the cancer centre and politicians arguing his case, eventually received treatment in early May.

Others haven't had the same chance.

The situation in Edmonton, where some critical patients are being turned away from chemotherapy treatments, is particularly dire.

In Calgary, roughly 10 per cent of patients, particularly those with the worst cases of cancer, have had to wait up to six weeks to be treated.

"We do not ever have a situation where we do not provide an appointment," noted Dr. Peter Craighead, medical director of the Tom Baker. "But sometimes the appointment (wait time) is longer. Obviously sometimes people are frustrated."

The majority of patients are seen within five weeks, although a national target aims for a two-week period.

In the chronically overcrowded Calgary cancer centre, the staffing situation, at least, is expected to ease in August, with more medical oncologists coming on board.

Cancer patients are certainly not alone in their battle against time.

Mitchell, the bioethicist, noted that similar problems ripple throughout the health-care system.

Triage -- the process of prioritizing patients according to the severity of their case -- takes place in emergency and operating rooms every day, he said.

"There's long wait times for everything and difficult decisions are being made in all sorts of conditions," Mitchell pointed out.

Physicians do their best with the resources they have, Mitchell said. Relaying the practicality of the situation to a patient suffering from a terminal disease is delicate and difficult, he said, adding, "It's pretty awful if you're in the middle of it."

It's a grim situation that's become uncomfortably familiar for Janet and her husband, who was diagnosed on April 30 with esophageal cancer.

The Calgary couple is trying to stay positive, but it's difficult not to dwell on the words from their doctor: without treatment, Janet's husband has six months to a year left to live.

Though he's a candidate for surgery or chemo, as her husband awaits an appointment with an oncologist, every second that ticks by without treatment is nerve-racking, said Janet, who asked that the couple's names not be published. Her husband is seeing a naturopathic doctor while he waits for a pre-treatment oncology appointment at the end of the month.

"When they tell you he has six months to a year to live with no treatment, it scares the hell out of you when you're waiting."

Countering those fears is one of the roles oncologists play, explained Craighead.

Connecting with a patient as soon as possible is critical, he said. Even if they can't be treated right away, it's important they know what options they have, he said.

Some patients in Edmonton, though, have been left with no options.

And the staffing issues hampering the Alberta cancer facilities aren't going to disappear just by adding a few more oncologists, experts warn.

Both the U of C and University of Alberta medical schools will be accepting fewer students in the fall, despite an earlier vow from the province to graduate more health professionals.

Patients 10 years down the road are the ones who will feel the effects of limiting the number of medical school spots this year, Mitchell argued.

As for Lewis, the retiree hopes he's put his fight with cancer behind him.

The Tom Baker medical staff, Lewis said, did a "damn good job" providing care, but they face unthinkable challenges.

"The doctors find themselves in a position where they have to play God," Lewis said. "That's a tough position for them to be in."

Get Low

2010-05-10T00:42:00.002-06:00

I can't tell you the day when it happened, how it came to happen, or why it happened but at some point in my life I stopped looking down to see where I was going. For the most part looking up and ahead never failed. Yes, there were a couple of times when I would trip up here and there, but looking people square in the eye as you pass and scoping out the area where you were headed usually meant I was confident in my direction, in myself, and I would get there without incident.

A couple of weeks ago I finally met Mijo after knowing him from the internet for 13 years. 13!!! That's insane. I've met other people much faster but then again they've come and gone. (I wonder what they're up to now?) But Mijo's always been there and now I've finally met him. It still boggles my mind thinking about it, actually. Anyway, I digress, he can be a whole other post entirely.

So I had a whole whopping 4 hours or so to hang with Mijo and his lovely girlfriend and she re-focused my eyes to the ground...not so I would look at the ground and that's it but just to remember to take in everything in my surroundings. Like she said, it was amazing what I could miss if I didn't peer down once in a while. I could have stepped on a stinkbug - unfortunate for the stinkbug and VERY inconvenient for me. I would have missed the little lizards darting in and out of their hidey-holes. I might have stepped on and really pissed off a rattlesnake *shudders* (No, I didn't encounter a rattlesnake but there were signs posted to let me know I was on rattlesnake turf. Gah!) It was crazy. And it would have been impossible for me to navigate the tide pool - my first ever natural tide pool experience! - without looking down. I would have surely bailed on a rock or something.

You would think I would have already learned that lesson on my trip to New York with Civic (who doesn't actually drive a Civic anymore, but oh well). I was always looking up and about I was so in love with all the skyscrapers and, oh look, Times Square, and oooh, Madison Square Garden. He was constantly saving me from tripping up or lunging forward off the sidewalks and becoming Big Apple roadkill.

Ninja dog!

2010-04-30T00:17:00.002-06:00

As you can probably tell from my template I'm a huge Tokidoki nut.

Funny thing is I probably would not have even heard about him if it weren't for all the knockoff LeSportsac bags I came across in the Philippines. I'm not a big LeSportsac fan but when I saw the Tokidoki prints I immediately fell in love with them. They are the cutest thing to enter my world since Hello Kitty. Mozzarella is one of my favorites, as is Bastardino, Donutella, Ninja dog, Unicorno....of course to fuel the addiction even further Simone Legno has been pumping out Tokidoki for Hello Kitty for a few years running now.

Thank goodness the brand is somewhat hard to come by here in Calgary or else I'd probably go berserk. Whenever I go to the US I make sure to hit up a Macy's and they've usually been a blessing for finding a shirt or two. Thanks to my brother I've learned I can usually find a few pieces at Urban, and I've bought some also at Winners and Smashing Cosmetica.

I recently treated myself to a new Tokidoki bag at Stoneridge. The latest print, too! Haven't used it out and about yet; almost too reverent of the thing to risk getting it dirty.

Oh, and you know Sephora has started carrying Tokidoki makeup, right? Those who know me well know I wear very little makeup, usually none. But of course I had to buy some gloss, lipstain (I didn't even know such a thing existed!), eyeshadow, eyeliner....all 'cuz of the famous heart and crossbones. And I've been wearing it, too! Who would have known that was all it took to encourage me to put in a little more effort on my appearance? Haha.

I'm so addicted to the brand I even asked my friend in California if he could collect the spoons from Yogurtland. Perhaps it's getting out of hand. But how can one resist something so super kawaii?!

Baby, you can drive my car.

2010-04-28T23:22:00.002-06:00

So because I've been putting it off forever I finally got my driver's license in November 2008. At the tender young age of "I'm not telling you."

I have been driving for less than 2 years. How many cars have I had? Two.

I bought my first car on May 12, 2009. Although she wasn't the color I was hoping for we were a match made in nirvana. I named her Jetta James because, well, you know..."at last."

She had a sunroof, heated seats, heated mirrors, all wonderful things I have decided I cannot live without.

New Year's day of this year her and I, along with my siblings as my passengers, got t-boned by a gentleman running a red light.

The fact that he took full responsibility and that none of us were hurt were very little consolation to my pride. My precious Jetta James took a bullet for me and now her and I could roll no longer. My very first lesson in insurance matters, too. If it was not my fault, why was I the one being inconvenienced? I had to find another car and I was at the mercy of the appraisers who determined how much Jetta James was worth. Luckily it worked out well for me in the end, but I will always miss her.

March 8th, 2010, J.Lo (Jetta Lovely) entered my life. She's a year older, and her cupholder situation isn't as ideal as Jetta James, but she comes with her own special something: she's a turbo engine. She's a temptress, that J.Lo, but I do my best to try and follow the speed limits and be a good conscientious little driver. I mean, I'm up for my final probationary exam this November. I can't acquire bad driving habits and practices at this point in time. Calgary drivers aren't the greatest, clearly. Coming home from work I will be on pace with the car in front of me and I'll realize I'm driving Deerfoot speed on Macleod (100k vs 80k) When I do try to stick to the speed limits I notice other drivers do not have that much patience around me, but oh well, right? So long as they don't hit me and J.Lo we should all get along fine. She just makes it too easy to drive faster with the rest of them, is all. Weird Kid and his friends tease me that a 1.8T is not meant to be driven "slow." I'm sure it will be exhilarating taking her for my first highway drive this summer. Road trip, anyone?

Start It Up

2010-04-27T22:08:00.002-06:00

Every once in a while I take a look at my lonely little blog (it's my homepage whenever I open my browser) and wonder how I could neglect her for oh so long.

I don't buy into New Year's resolutions. Resolutions can be made on any of the other 364 days.

But I sure do miss writing. Now that I'm here, though, I'm not sure what I want to write about.

An update on my last post: My favorite (as I took to calling him) told me at the very last minute that he was leaving to work in another city. I had just come back from Hawaii when he decided to tell me this.

Fast forward a month later and a guy I was planning a date with found a girlfriend while I was away in Mexico.

Something tells me my love life suffers when I travel, hehe.

Despite this, I still haven't gotten my Puerto Rico on. I still haven't been to Cuba. I still haven't been to Spain, Italy, Greece, Turkey, Egypt, Morocco, Argentina, Brazil...

I'm in big trouble.

A couple of months ago I had my annual followup with my oncologist at the Tom Baker Cancer Centre. They've set me free. I will no longer have annual appointments with them unless something comes up. Now I will only checkin with my ENT specialist every year. When I first heard this I kind of panicked. I would gladly do followups with my oncologist every year for the rest of my life. But I understand that our health care dollars are better spent on those who need the time and treatment right now, just as I was blessed that the Tom Baker took such good care of me when I needed them. I cannot believe it has already been 8 years. I would really love to give back at some point and I looked into some of their volunteer positions. Unfortunately the times they need people do not work with those who have regular jobs. But I do hope to give back someday. It's wonderful what they do for you.

And while we are on the subject of health care; I finally had a consultation with a surgeon regarding breast reduction. That's right, I'm sucking it up. As far as I know I have signed myself on to the waiting list. Who knows when that will clear? Everyone who has had it done - I can't believe how many people I have come across - assure me that I will not regret it. It's still uber scary, though. Perhaps I will have a new chest for Christmas?

Hello...I just got to let you know...

2009-09-07T23:58:00.003-06:00

Ladies and gentlemen, Leah has botched it up yet again.

Oh, and I apologize for the long hiatus. Does anyone still read this out there?!
A little more than a month ago, a newly divorced (and gorgeously single) friend of mine decided to join an online dating site. (Shhhh!) She asked me to join along. Partially curious, I dove into the online dating scene. I've met guys from the internet before. How different could this be, right?

I've never liked the concept of speed dating, but geez this is perhaps sprint-dating. Granted, I had been experiencing a drought regarding male attention (ever since I lost all the weight! It baffles my mind. Am I too cocky now? Nah, that can't be it. :P ) but this was like a dam breaking! Before I let all the attention get to my head I found a handful whom I thought I may have a possible "connection" with and ran with that.

For the most part, all the guys have been great. I haven't met any creepy guys (at least not in person...disaster has been averted a couple of times!) but there wasn't any real chemistry with most of them. I say most.

Today I want to discuss my latest Berger. I want to call him Berger 2.0 (BII). A couple of weeks ago we went for our first date (meeting?) over drinks. With typical tact, he told me during the date that he couldn't stay out too long as he had to work on his car for an impending long drive that coming weekend. Most girls out there would agree with me; all signs pointed to him being not all that interested. Normally I wouldn't mind so much but I thought he was cute and I liked his style. All superficial, I know, but I really felt it was a shame he wasn't into me.

Or so I thought.

So a week or so later he came back into town and I started chatting with him again. Things got flirty so I figured maybe I still had a chance with the guy...but then again it could just be his hormones talking so I wasn't going to be the one asking for another date.

He asked me out on another date (meeting?)!

This is where things got messed up. I started thinking that I really really REALLY like this guy and that I would do everything I could to try and win him over.

Everything.

So high school.

So now of course, all the girly drama starts dancing around in my head. Now that he got what he "wanted" he doesn't have any motivation or need to continue seeing me...how could he take a girl like me seriously...etc etc. Conversations with him now are all kind of stilted, which leads me to overanalyzing them to death. How, at my "mature" age, could I do something so teenage?

And to continue with my teenage behaviour: I really hope he calls me again sometime. I do realize that things rarely pull through from such a hormonal beginning but here's hoping! I don't think I've come across a guy like him who shares so many of my interests and possesses the traits that I find sexy. *sigh* Why can't I ever keep things simple?

"Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right..."

2009-04-15T13:05:00.003-06:00

I just read over all my good news from the posts previous. What a downer this one will be. :(

This has been building up for at least a few months now. I wonder if we can be so happy in other aspects of our life that it outweighs the grief and frustration in another part of it?

If so, then it looks like my abundance of joy everywhere else is stretching thin now. It can only bolster me for so much longer.

Ever since our latest restructuring in my department I have become more and more dissatisfied with my work. The profession which I used to love so much has now become a job that makes me miserable. I can even feel it in my body; after 3 or so days of being out of the office I start to feel physically ill as I prepare to return.

I do not think I am one for such melodramatics so surely this must mean something severe.

Surely everyone else around me has noticed this? I have gone from the top of my game to rarely/barely achieving the minimum. And I know what it is: the office they have placed me in is sucking all the joy and pride out of my work. They say our office has low-morale and we must work as a team. Call me defeatist but this office will never work as a team. I have never experienced such a hostile office where backstabbers and artificial camaraderie surround you on all sides. It exhausts me.

Still, I have love and hope for our company. It's just that there is clearly no way I can remain and ever be happy in my current position. Therein lies the hugest problem. The solution is simple: transfer me to a happier, healthier work environment. But with the industry and economy being the way that it is I can't see myself finding a way out of here soon.

My patience is wearing thin. I so want to be happy again. Work should never make you cry, cause you misery on a regular basis. But fear of taking a chance keeps me under their thumb. No other companies in my field seem to be hiring at the moment, and even if they did I don't know if I would have the guts to make the move.

Last one hired is the first one laid off. My tenure at my company is precious at a time like this. Not infallible, but a little more secure than other situations I could consider.

On the other hand, my happiness should be a priority as well. Since I have started at this office little hints of my unhappiness have been showing without me knowing it. My best friend pointed out I have not gone dating in months. When I responded that I did not really feel like it lately she pointed the finger at my work situation. (What else can I call it but a situation?)

Highly probable.

Also, due to the scheduling in this office I have not had a chance to take any more dance classes or swim classes. Classes that kept me energized, satisfied, and happy.

Happy: such a simple word but there really is no better way to say it.

*sigh* How did I deserve to be put in this mess? I work my best for them and they toss me into the most miserable office as a reward, it would seem. Loyalty can only keep me bonded to them so much. I feel like a convict digging her way out of her prison with a spoon, covering it up with a newspaper. If things get any worse and a (somewhat secure feeling) prospect comes along I really think it would be in my best personal interest to jump ship.

All Clear

2009-02-05T22:47:00.005-07:00

Yesterday was my annual checkup at the Tom Baker cancer centre. It has now been almost seven years since I went through my radiation treatment. Nearly seven years since my parotidectomy and the crazy carnival ride that ensued.

I haven't "achieved" the plans I laid out for myself as a little girl and I cannot figure out if this fact would upset me had I not had my cancer. Nothing seems to faze me now and I don't know if that's necessarily a good thing. I love my job when many others are looking for better paying jobs so they can have a better life. They wouldn't even consider my position if it were their only way of making ends meet...yet here I am content. I used to believe I would be married and have children by now but the more I get to experience life the more I am unwilling to start that chapter in my book. There is far too much I still wish to see, yearn to do, desire to try. Having kids with me or a significant other to factor into all my decisions would bog me down. Perhaps I would even resent it at the moment.

I am turning a "scary" age in a little more than a month. The number always seemed so old, so "locked down." I should be all grown up by now. Heh. Life is too good for that at present.

Oh! And if you didn't figure it out by my title; I'm FINE! They were a little concerned, as I'm sure they always are when it comes to cancer patients (am I still a cancer "patient?"), when they did my weigh-in and realized I had lost so much weight in the past year. But once I assured them I had lost the weight on purpose it was alllllll good. :D

"I can't fight this feeling anymore..."

2008-11-13T13:22:00.003-07:00

A couple of months ago I had the great opportunity to visit Montreal for a weekend and I LOVED it. That makes two massive cities I have visited this year that I have adored. A stark contrast to my lack of heart for Toronto. People predicted, after hearing of how I dislike Toronto (I can't say hate since I have family living there. Hate is too strong of a word.) that I would have a miserable time in New York...even though I've been obsessed with the Big Apple for years. Well, I proved them wrong there. But although I had always wanted to see Montreal as well I was not sure if it would be as cold and uninviting as Toronto only en francais. Good golly I was pleasantly surprised. I have told several friends this but for once I have found a city that could possibly seduce me away from Calgary. And I'd still get to be Canadian, fantastique!

What I especially loved about Montreal was how easy it was to get around. I am a huge fan of great subway/metro systems and New York and Montreal were both marvelous. But Montreal's stations showed a little more care and maintenance. They were practically spotless and smelled immaculate, which was a bonus. I hate to say it but even comparing it to Calgary...I mean Calgary is a poor comparison but to think that Montreal is a bigger city and they are able to keep their trains and stations immaculate whereas here we disrespectfully leave newspapers and litter strewn about our public transit system that clearly has to say something.

Plus, and this could be pure coincidence, but I felt safe walking through their downtown streets at night. Wouldn't you know it, the same weekend I was away Calgary had 2 (or was it 3) homicides. Just "boom, boom, boom." It really made me want to shake my head. Here I thought Calgary's problem was it was getting to big too fast and was thus experiencing the growing pains that all big cities go through. Well if that's the case why was Montreal so pleasant and calm while my hometown was a gnarled, violent mess?! I don't think we can blame my city's problem on "big city issues" anymore. Clearly something else is bringing the dangers into our home.

The news of the past couple of days have made the feeling even more helpless. For those who do not know a young woman was abducted from her workplace by a stranger with a gun. The two of them then stopped a truck on the street and carjacked an old man. The guy then held the old man and young lady hostage for several hours while he sexually assaulted her. Luckily he let them go later that day while he fled on foot.

Then today the news tells us more details of how the man made the girl phone his (suspected) common-law wife and describe what he was doing to her.

It is like something from a sick, twisted movie all that is going on in my "fair" city.

I used to feel strong and independent. I would shrug off my grandma's overhyped concerns over my taking public transit. But when you hear enough of these stories...and on a frequent basis, no less...the unease clearly starts creeping in. On a few occasions I have had a sense of malaise when coworkers would leave for the day and I would be alone for the final hour or two of my shift. If something should happen to me in my office I have zero confidence that anyone outside would be able to help me. Or they would not even know I was in peril.

I still don't have major issues with transit. It still feels safe to me but Montreal was a definite eye-opener on how safe I could/should truly feel taking public transportation. There are still the odd occurrences going on. One night as I took the bus home I overheard on the driver's radio another driver calling in a missing young lady who had walked out of a hospital -- in a hospital gown -- and clearly ready to give birth. I'm not quite sure whatever happened to her but the odd inexplicable scenes like those come around a little too often now.

It's true what they say...

2008-11-06T23:29:00.003-07:00

Lots of observations and pondering these days with not much "hands on" experience. But given everything that's been going on around me I'd rather stay out of the game for now.

I know of two people who have dropped the bomb on me that they have ended their marriages. One ended it years ago, that's how out of touch her and I have been. It's a shame, really. We now live in the same city and yet we still cannot manage to get together on a regular basis.

With today's divorce rate being as high as it is it shouldn't be such a shocker that they have joined the ranks of the separated. What piqued my interest/what was common between both their experiences is the fact that they both described their last months/years of marriage as living with a roommate or a good friend.

One was married almost 20 years before this "roommate" phenomenon occurred. The other was married...I'm tempted to say 5 years though I can't be sure.

With the first couple it was my friend who stopped the status quo. It's not that she was looking for a new partner, but she knew that this was a situation she did not want to plod through for another 20 years.

The second couple made the decision together. Almost as if they somehow knew my other friend, they sat down together and asked themselves if they really wanted to continue on with the life they had together. End the scene now or end the scene years down the road when they were older.

The great thing is, they are still great friends just like they had always been. I hate to be pessimistic but I have a feeling that they are some of the rare few who can maintain such a great relationship after ending such a major connection with one another.

And wouldn't you know it? My friend from couple number 2 recently got married to someone new! Since I didn't keep in touch with her all that well I cannot really compare how happy she was with husband number one to how content she is with hubby numero dos. But despite our lack of get-togethers I can already tell this one is different as she lights up more as she was telling me more about him.

She mentioned that in her first marriage they had known each other so long that it almost felt like marriage was just the "next step" in the common plan of what is expected of couples. So a question: If she did not realize that her first marriage was just a really strong friendship is there something present in her new marriage that makes her realize this time it really is "it?"

She tells me there is no doubt. Further still, she knew she had something amazing this time around almost the moment she met him.

I know it sounds all cliche but this friend of mine could never be mistaken for a romantic sap. So when she says something like that I cannot help but take her word for it. I guess there truly is some validity to that vague saying that when the right one comes along "you just know."

Not that I ever felt all doom and gloom but her finding someone that makes her so happy has given me some more justification in keeping my standards high. With other couples falling apart all around me I was feeling concerned that I would be doomed to falling into the same snares as so many others: tying myself up with Mr Not-Quite-Right-But-He'll-Do. Truth be told if I were to explain to others what I am looking for in a guy some of it would ring shallow or superficial. But I know myself and if he did not possess A, B, and C there would always be that little part of me left unsatisfied with the status quo and fretting that there was someone better still out there for me. That would not be fair to him or to myself and I'm afraid it would eat at me till it created a significant division between the two of us...and then I'd be in a relationship with a friend just like so many others.

I truly appreciated the dinner I had with my friend. She found the right guy and so will I. If a non-romantic can "know" that a guy is the right one then such a strong instinct must surely exist and is not some sort of concept that Hollywood and Harlequin invented themselves. I just have to keep my resolve strong to avoid making a mistake the first time.

"No" means "later."

2008-09-01T22:17:00.002-06:00

Well, the inevitable has happened. My best friend is officially engaged, the wedding date has be chosen, everything is ploughing along.

She broke the news to me over the phone. It's true we rarely get to find time together anymore. Life gets in the way like that.

"Will you be my maid of honor?" she asked.

How could I say "no" to my best friend?! And thus, I fulfilled Civic's prophecy (albeit I fulfilled his prophecy but in relation to a different friend) since he pretty much stood firm on the fact that I would not be able to decline such an "honor" when it comes to a friend...regardless of how much I frown upon the relationship.

Talk about trust, huh? She wants me to be right beside her at the wedding knowing full well that if anyone were to say a peep when the priest asks "does anyone object to this union?" I would be the most likely person to speak up. I'm just saying.

But I cannot deny the fact that he has done well in becoming a part of his daughter's life, the same daughter for which he refused to take any responsibility in the beginning. As far as I know he treats my best friend well. They have become a family, despite all the speculation. He still smokes around my goddaughter and I know my best friend smokes a lot more often now as a result. That still frustrates me. What can I do? I'm just the godmother. But smoking aside, I think the odds are in their favor.

Seriousness aside, though, if I keep up my good work I'm going to be one sexay maid of honor. :D

Avert Your Eyes!

2008-08-25T00:08:00.000-06:00

Last week I had admitted to Civic that the weight-loss has been difficult for me to gauge. I still feel like I look the same but when I try to wear some of my old pants it reminds me of just how far I have come. Still, my mind has a hard time registering that I have changed so much. I should be proud of myself for the accomplishment but instead I feel retroactively horrified that I ever lost so much control that I used to fit in those sizes.

Let's blog, shall we?

2008-08-24T23:55:00.002-06:00

2008 has become even better still since the last time I raved about how awesome 2008 has been. I won some super shopping money in a charity lottery, so I think I will go spoil myself with a new gadget of some sort. I ALSO (not in the same lottery) won two tickets to Vegas. Fantastic! I hope to coordinate it with some free nights I have for Anaheim and get myself reacquainted with the Magic Kingdom (it's been over 15 years now) and get my Vegas on at the same time. Maybe even get to meet Mijo finally after all these years!

I am constantly shopping these days what with the transition in seasons and my need for clothes that fit and flatter. The summer clearances have been amazing and fortunately the items will transition well into the fall. I am now bordering on high-school-sized depending on the cut of the clothes. It is unreal.

It is sad to see the summer winding down. The days are shorter, the evenings are cooler, and weekday outings will become less frequent. I haven't even had a halo halo yet this summer!

Ze Great '08

2008-08-07T12:54:00.002-06:00

A fantastic year thus far, to be sure. I have so much to be thankful for and thrilled about I could easily say 2008 has been one of my best years ever.

Vegas, baby!
New York NEW YORK
35 pounds lighter and still going! Slowly but surely...
Fantastic family time in Alaska
Montreal, here I come!
I met and dated a hawt dancing guy so my confidence has been reaffirmed. (Although I still miss my brainiac not-so-social boy... it's nice to know I can play in the same league as the "beautiful people.")
I got to ride in a helicopter. Woohoo!

I have seen some bloggers start up "bucket lists" and although I never like to follow trends I thought this was an excellent idea. I thought it would be easy to come up with 1000 things that I have yet to do and would like to do but I am having a bit of writer's block. I haven't even come up with 100! I thought I wouldn't put anything that I have already done on there but I've tossed them in since I would like to check them off my list (ie. riding in a helicopter). Hopefully at some point I'll have a substantial list to share with everyone but for now I'll keep it under wraps until I have developed it better. But this year has been so great for me I can't imagine not checking off more on my list in the coming months so it will be hard to keep the list long!

Shrink-wrap

2008-07-15T23:41:00.003-06:00

Last week was the traditional Calgary gong-show we all know (and some love) as the Calgary Stampede. And while I still had a great time this year the exhibition grounds left me wanting. I do not usually complain about the price the way others do. I figure it's only once a year and I can't understand the griping over the cost of admission when it is comparable to going to a first-screening movie. But this time I did notice the prices getting gouge-y once you were already in the gates. 9 dollars for a "pizza on a stick" or a "london broil cheesesteak" is simply uncalled for. A 2 dollar increase in my "Whack-A-Mole" -- plus the hunch that the carnies are starting to recognize me and try to keep me off my skilled game -- takes quite a bit of fun out of it. But even things that were still, I suppose, reasonably priced, were not as enjoyable as they once were. After one mini-donut I really did not feel like having any more. The smells of all the food stands and all the smokers all around me seemed to have a greater impact on me than in past years. Moreover, though I once used to be able to conquer every single ride on the midway these days those spinny rides are starting to make me queasy. My poor future babies! Who will ride with them? Their mama will be a total pansy!

Again, Daisy's birthday could be and was celebrated during Stampede week. We tried out Seven Restolounge which had always piqued my curiosity. I looked forward to the opportunity to get a bit glammed up and have a great time being fabulous with my friends. However, once I started ransacking my closet when outfit after coordinated outfit hung off of me like sacks of rice I was at a loss for a fabulous ensemble to wear to the affair. In the end I found an old Asian-inspired halter top and my shorties with my snazzy new Vixen belt to break up the monotony...but I felt like somewhat of a hooch as it has been at least a couple of years since I had bared that much skin.

3 martinis later (and yummy ones, to boot!) and all my discomfort was long gone. I felt fabulous and although my outfit wasn't one I had originally had in mind I was quite happy with how my improving body was presented in it.

A blessing in disguise since I am headed on holidays this coming weekend. If I had just assumed that all my clothes would still fit me I would have ended up with no clothes to wear on my vacation! An emergency shopping trip with my mom rectified all of that. But I still need to pack it all.

The funny thing was even though I let myself slide quite a few times -- who can keep their diets when it's Stampede week?! -- my body was still losing the inches. I tried on a few of my little sister's clothes and was amazed that they know fit me. No unsightly bulges or pinches or anything! I still cannot believe how many sizes I have lost. And to confirm all this I bought a pair of shorts for the trip this evening in the next smallest size on blind faith and lo and behold they fit me divinely! I am on a super-high right now. The weight may not be down to where I thought I should be by now but the difference in size is more than I was expecting at this point. And truly, that's really all that matters to me in the long run. I just want to look my hottest in the years to come.

Missing: one Robin Thicke CD

2008-06-25T23:36:00.002-06:00

I bought his Evolution CD on Boxing Day last year and now I have misplaced it somewhere. To top it all off I had to get a new computer recently and, although I could have sworn I backed up my iTunes library to my external hard drive, once I had iTunes and everything up and running again I only had a 5th of the music I used to own. For the CDs I physically own this is not such a big deal -- just an inconvenience -- but for everything else, augh!

Anyway, finding this one particular CD out of my many has become my obsession. Everyone knows how I have songs that create the soundrack to my life. This year/guy it's Robin Thicke's Lost Without You that reminds me of Salsero. What's different this time around is that it isn't a song I heard playing when I met him, or a song he gave me that always reminds me of him, it's just the feeling I get about him. I love that song and it's sensual and lovey dovey. Good grief. But there you go, that's my song for Salsero.

Sadly I think the Salsero thing will be very short-lived. Although I was proud that we kept things under control on the Saturday a couple of days later we let things really get out of hand. In typical fashion I got weirded out and shut down. In fairness he asked me what was going on in my head but I was having none of that discussion. We tried talking again a few days later but there was no getting past the awkwardness. I haven't heard from him since and I don't blame him. It's easier to cut out the drama earlier rather than later.

Posey reminded me to just live my life the same grand way as always. Salsero and I may cross paths again one day. We were too impulsive and in the process I screwed myself out of an awesome dance partner. Le sigh.

But as always it does not mean that I love the song any less. Even with all my mixed emotions regarding Berger I still love my "Berger" songs. Luckily the experiences never ruin the music for me.

This has been an incredible year thus far and it's only half done! I got to party in Vegas with my girls, explore New York (a major obsession, as you all know) with Civic, found an awesome guy (may have lost said awesome guy, but it was still an awesome month then, haha) and my family and I are headed out on an Alaskan cruise in less than a month. I finally got promoted and still manage to attain top in my division on a regular basis so I must be doing something right there. And to top it all off a former manager who I miss will be coming back to work with me by the end of the summer. Oh, and I'm halfway to my goal weight-wise but already I am only one size away from my original goal size. I see myself tweaking those goals soon enough.

2008 has definitely been good to me already. I hope it continues.

Hot Child in the City

2008-06-15T21:41:00.002-06:00

30+ pounds gone thus far! Size-wise I have turned back time a whole 10 years. I could not be happier right now, it is insanely encouraging.

Of course, with the new improved me comes even more confidence...like I really needed more of that! All the clothing options that I would not have even considered with my previous figure have me itching to go on a mad shopping spree; but all in due time. Already the "interim" pants and capris I bought a month to two months ago are starting to get baggy again. Some pants just look ridiculous on me now, Latina says she has to laugh since she thinks I look amusing in my baggy clothes. Particularly since I have never been one to wear baggy clothes to begin with.

I finally went on date number 2 with the dance fan. We'll call him Salsero. Yes, I know, going this long between dates sounds pretty sketchy; I see it, too. But if he's weighing out his other options right now (not saying he is, but it's a definite possibility) there isn't really much I can do but continue to shine and hope he takes notice.

He had been talking smack for months telling me he would someday wear me out on the dancefloor and last night he made good on his promise. :P He is an uber excellent dancer with insane stamina. After watching a movie together we did not get to SoHo until 11:30 and it was pretty much non-stop with him until last call. To maintain some pride I have to add that he would not have won his little challenge had I been wearing more comfortable shoes. :P

My problem with guys that I am interested in is my timing. Aidan being my prime example of this. (From hereon in I'll refer to Aidan as Berger for my own personal reasons) With Berger I played it cool for far too long and by the time I admitted how I felt he had already found himself someone else. It became a vicious cycle with him. He would come back around and admit he wasn't seeing anyone and I would again play it cool. Soon enough he would be with another girl. Mind you, I'm not naive. I realize he's treating me like some sort of backup plan, which is why I never run to him the moment he tells me he's available. Yet somehow I still hurt myself, MYSELF!!! by giving myself all this stupid false hope that maybe it is finally my turn at a shot with Berger. Anyway, enough about him, this is about my uber date with Salsero...

To summarize the last paragraph: timing is a big issue with me and guys that I like. To save face and avoid rejection I tend to let the guy call the shots the whole time I'm getting to know them. It does not help any that they can play this game just as well as I; their intentions or level of interest are usually not clear to me. Thankfully, Salsero gave me a clear signal for a go-ahead. After wondering during the movie about what he was thinking, was I just a friend to chill with, etc etc when in the middle of a dance at the club he picked up my chin and leaned in for a kiss. Well, that's all I needed! :P

Another issue of mine: Sadly I'm sure I am not known for keeping myself in check, physically-speaking, when it comes to having a bit of fun. On occasion I have been quite reckless. This time around I'm happy to report that we kept things PG-13. It could have easily gotten out of hand but it was all good. And I do mean ALL. GOOD. An older lady did come up to us and told (warned? Who knows what she meant at the time) him that we were putting on quite a show. But in my defense things didn't even really get all that hot until they left. There were moves he pulled on me that had me thinking "who does this guy think he is pinning me up like this on the dance floor?!" but in the end it was all so intoxicating. Here I was feeling fabulous from all my good work at losing weight, I had a hot guy with me at one of my favorite clubs, and he was only there to dance with me and NOONE else. It's enough to get to a girl's head. At one point, even, this random girl (and for the record, SoHo NEVER used to be the type of club where you would expect this kind of behavior going on. A place like such is called "Cowboys." Look it up.) started backing up against me, sandwiching me between her and Salsero and while Salsero chuckled about it...I'm sure most guys would appreciate that kind of attention...he must have also sensed that I was not feeling that kind of scene and kept her from getting closer to me.

On the flip side, it also felt kind of weird to only dance with one guy the whole night. His dancing skills did not leave me wanting for other partners, of course. But I realized I was pretty much "with" him for the evening be that good or bad, and pretty much all the other guys on the dancefloor knew it so chances of them even asking me (not that an opportunity ever presented itself) for a dance were pretty much nil.

After my feet started to surrender in protest we went and got our coats. I had worn a pair of heels taller than I usually wear when dancing since I hadn't hemmed my newest (and most flattering for the time being) pair of jeans so it made for a harder time on my legs on the dancefloor. I don't think my thighs have had that great of a workout in a really long time. We had a little more high school fun in his car before we started off for my house. I guess I will have to come up with a better analogy than that in the future...high school fun these days is certainly not the same kind of high school fun I was used to way back when. Gosh, I just dated myself there.

While it was still a great end to the evening I could not help thinking it was a little too smooth. He knew exactly what he was doing every moment and everything just flowed without pause or awkwardness. I had never made out with a "game master" like that, haha.

But that smoothness has to give me some pause, to be sure. I had such an amazing time last night that I could easily be a girl and let it all get to my head and overanalyze everything to death but I must do my best not to. But I still wouldn't mind if a third date came up soon. Would not mind at all at all at all.

Duty Free

2008-05-25T18:41:00.003-06:00

Early October 2007. The setting: a south end Tim Horton's. The characters: Leah, Flag Girl, and Flag Girl's pal, V. A little bit of girl gripes before a little birthday dance-a-thon for darling Flag Girl. (The following may not be word for word but the sentiment is quite vivid in my memory.)

...I don't know what it was. I was not interested in the guy, he was probably not interested in me either, but he treated me with a great deal of respect. A girl who just came in to line up like all the rest just so she could get her caffeine fix. From his accent it was fairly apparent he was not from around here...and yet he had more charm and was more of a gentleman than any homegrown guys I have ever met.

Mm hmm, I absolutely know what you are talking about. It is embarassing to think that our own local guys were not raised properly by their mothers. I am sure it is not the case at all, but they certainly do behave that way at times.

Yes! As if they have some sort of arrested development at our age. It is as if they were not taught some certain level of...

...social skills.

Thank you! That is the perfect word for it! Our men lack social skills that we should be accustomed to at our age.

/scene

Imagine my surprise when I came across this article in a recent edition of our Calgary Herald.

Just like that night spent at one of our friendly Tim Horton's I found myself nodding in agreement with a lot of what these women had to say. In fact I wish I had been given the opportunity to add my two cents during their interview. I am sure we would have all had a lot in common to talk about.

But moving away just to find a great guy?! I have not reached the end of THAT rope quite yet. Do not get me wrong; I think these women are really bold and they are definitely on to something...and who would ever complain about falling in love in New York City (CERTAINLY not I!!!) but I myself am just not there yet. Not yet.

I know there are decent, wonderful guys in my city. They are just few and far between.

The past few dates (or non-dates, as the case may be) have all been duds. I even entertained the idea of dating an older Yellow Fever man with an extreme obsession and focus on getting himself into a committed relationship. RED FLAG RED FLAG SIRENS BLAZING RUN FOR COVER! You do not even want to know how this guy broke off the date...but let it be known that this man is almost 10 years my senior and his break-off M.O. was textbook junior high school. Yeah, I was a tad pissed...but it was my own fault for lowering my standards for a second and contemplating a guy who was absolutely not my style. At least disaster was averted, no?

In a young city of a million there could even be transplants to my hometown; up those odds. Transplants could be the equivalent of an import -- keeping with the spirit of the Herald article -- and everyone knows imports can be quite snazzy and fun.

What else can a girl do but keep her head up and just keep on doing her thing with confidence? Nothing wrong with that. And to a guy who can actually step up and approach her could go all the spoils. Well, maybe not ALL of them.

But if it ever came to that point where I had to look abroad...well, I'm a natural-born cross-border shopper.

Some like it old

2008-05-20T15:46:00.002-06:00

My computer is terminally ill, once again...I think. My brother (I think I used to refer to him as "Weird Kid" here) would call it "a piece," I'm sure. By no means am I a computer whiz but it seems to be doing the same thing it did the last time...which in my opinion was not that very long ago. If I have to buy another power supply and that thing with un"popped" capacitors then I may as well junk this old monstrosity and buy myself a new computer. *sigh* An expense I really do not need right now.

But everyone loves having new things. I am definitely not an exception. With my (exciting) progress in weight-loss-land I am itching to buy myself some new clothes. However, common sense and my mother tell me to wait a while and not go buck-wild on a wardrobe overhaul. At the very least I need new bottoms. Belts, accessories I have never been a fan of functionally, have become my friend. But they can only do so much. On a recent outing with the big bois I had to cinch up my urban shorts so much I winced at the possibility that, by some freak accident, someone would see my shirt lift up and the whole world would see how much fabric I had bunched around my waist. Thank goodness for the currently trendy (though questionable and hideous) pregnancy-style tops! You could hide a midget under there!

On the flip-side, I do not want to sound like a Jenny-Craig-esque spokesperson but it is amazing how much room I have in my old pants. So much that I *almost* want to tsk at myself in disgust that I ever got so big in the first place. But really, back when I fit into those clothes, I didn't feel so bad about myself. I guess it is all relative. Though if anyone were to ask me I would have to say I do not miss the old me...I'll take the "new" me anyday.

So this past long weekend was somewhat a treat to myself. While killing time with the big bois at the casino before we continued on with Mr J's birthday plans I sat down at a nickel slot machine for 5 minutes, slipped in my 20 dollar "entertainment fee" and cashed out with almost 300 bucks! Ka-ching ka-ching! It was like Las Vegas ALL OVER AGAIN. I knew there was better ways to use that 300 bucks but, what the hey, I bought myself some new clothes. I always use to scoff at those who were obsessed over the number on the tag of their clothes, but who am I kidding, it was a thrill to buy clothes with smaller numbers on them!

Ok, enough about Le and her self-obsession! Ok, maybe not. This is MY blog, after all.

I know this is completely jumping the gun but I think I may have found a guy that can keep up with me. A salsa fan, a hip-hop fan...well, a dancing fan in general. Great taste in music, movies, clothes, cars; unfortunately it is starting to sound a little shallow at this point but trust me. All the important elements are there. He's bright, dedicated to his post-secondary ambitions (not just the bare minimum degree for this guy!), incredibly sweet and charming. The guy has it all. I would be lucky to nab a guy like him, but I would even love to just be a friend of his. A girl like me definitely deserves to hang with great people like him. My days of needing a dance partner could be at a stop-search!

Oh, and if Flag-girl and/or her friend, V, are reading this: the new guy is not from around here. It only feeds into our theory about local guys lacking social skills and the like. Sad but true.

On the flip-side, why do I still miss "my" Aidan?! Good grief, a girl is never satisfied.

Got to get you into my life, into my life

2008-04-23T21:32:00.002-06:00

A tall, dark, and handsome man (cliche, huh?) has been haunting my dreams.

Ok, so it has only been two dreams. Two dreams over two months. But it appears to me that it is becoming a mini-series of sorts. Or at least I hope it is. I wouldn't mind. :P

In the first dream he introduced himself to me while we were sitting in a classroom. Although I wish that there were potential for deja vu here I have not attended any classes in almost 6 years. Mind you with Civic heading back to university our group has had several discussions as to whether the rest of us have felt like going back to school. And if so, what would we take the next time around? For a lack of anything better coming to mind I always choose accounting. I guess I still think that I have/had the potential for becoming a boring bean-counter. I'm not sure if Mr Dark-and-Yummy and I meet in an accounting class; maybe it's my subconscious' hokey way of trying to tempt me back into school.

In the second dream, he surprises me at a carnival much like the Stampede. Except this carnival was set on my beloved 17th Avenue to commemorate the opening of the new C-Train station. And at this carnival I was playing a game that involved shooting, basketball, and Madison Square Garden. My "team" was all full so the carnie sat me off to one side as the basketball part of the game got underway.

Next thing I know an arm slinks its way around my waist and he tells me "maybe I will meet you there."

Meet me where?! Augh!

And that's the ONLY coherent thing I can remember him saying in either dream. In dream #2 we just lounged there on the carnival bench (can you even lounge on those things?!) cuddling and talking about what, I wish I knew. It was like he was on mute, I could hear the carnival all around me but I couldn't hear him at all. But I remember feeling wonderful and at ease just lazing there with him. He was Eastern European, would be my guess. A little scruffy but short, styled hair. He reminded me a bit of Maksim Chmerkovskiy. If I could nab myself my very own Maks I would not be complaining at all!

"...the stars all aligned and thus a 'fitter' Leah was born"

2008-03-09T17:22:00.004-06:00

It was going to happen sooner or later.

There was a time in my life when I was anti-diet. I was all for exercise; no problems with that. But tell me I am DENIED food and I will eat it right in front of you just to be defiant. What a miserable life it would be if I could not drink when I wanted, eat what I wanted, indulge how I wanted...I'm sure you catch my drift.

A few years back I got to know an uber sweet guy who turned out to be an Atkins-diet success story. He showed me a picture of him back in high school which was a great lot different to the guy who I met in person. I was incredibly impressed and admired his insane dedication, but there was no way you could ever get me to give up my carbs. NO. WAY.

Unfortunately, he has also become a cautionary tale of an example. I did not get to see him often but when I did he would be bigger than he was the time before. And the time before that. And the time before that. I have not seen him lately -- and I hope that he has not gone back to his old high school ways -- but I felt sad that he was slipping back into old routines. Not sure why I felt so bad...it wasn't MY body...but it sure was a shame to see all his hard work drift away.

As for me the workouts just were not getting me the results I was hoping for. I was feeling better, but the inches and pounds were not budging at all. It got to a point where I started making excuses not to go; after all, there was no real encouragement keeping me on track.

Then I started to slide down that same slope. I was not feeling all that great anymore...my self-image was unsatisfactory (and this was coming from a girl who usually LOVES herself to bits). I knew I should get back into the gym but the excuses kept on coming and I just did not feel like forcing myself into the gym.

Luckily, Weird Kid started going to a gym close to home so that got me into quasi-regular workouts with no excuse to skip out.

Later still, I switched offices and learned of how my manager used to be a lot heavier and how she went (and apparently succeeded) on the South Beach Diet. After hearing a bit about the basics of the diet I found myself actually contemplating a diet. No lie! A week later I was at my computer ordering the book online.

The more I read the book the more I convinced myself that this was a diet I could actually live with. Please don't misunderstand, I'm not trying to preach about the wonders of the South Beach Diet, it just became something that would work for me.

As added motivation I have caught a few episodes of the Biggest Loser: Couples. (Mom loves those reality shows!) I became emotionally bonded to one of the characters/contestants. She weighed the same as me at the beginning (edit: actually, after looking at the website she actually started out heavier than me -- but now she is lighter than me so that is still inspiring) and she has since lost so much. Whenever I catch the show I am impressed by her progress and motivated to keep on keeping on. Her arms are looking great! In my extreme vanity I consider myself just as pretty as her and I am convinced that I will only become prettier as the weight fades away...much like her.

On a side note: Mom was shocked when I admitted to how much I weigh. To my credit I do not think anyone could ever guess how much I weighed (a few friends whom I have worked out with in the past knew my real weight, but that's about it) and even when I first started tuning into Biggest Loser I could not believe the size of some of the contestants. They did not weigh much more than me but in my opinion they looked so much worse off. I seriously had to consider whether I had an over-inflated (no pun intended) opinion of how my own body actually looked. Were others seeing me as big as the women I was seeing on the show?

My mom and others have assured me that I have never looked like "them." Like I said, mom was amazed at how much I weighed. It still surprises me, however, how people who weigh the same can look so different from one another. When I would see diet commercials I felt they "padded" the numbers to make the actors and actresses seem a lot heavier than they actually were. After all, how would someone who is 120 pounds actually know what a 220 pound person is supposed to look like?

Back to what I was saying: Phase 1 (the first two, and strictest, weeks of the diet) were a bit hard. I'm not going to lie. I remember that first Friday trying to figure out something Daisy and I could do that would not ruin my diet or tempt me away from it. It seemed like there was NOTHING we could do! I felt so boring.

Moreover, I was not experiencing the speedy weight loss that the book's testimonials promoted. I was expecting that, though. There is always fine print. Just like those diet pills at Wal-Mart and what have you, if you look closely at the ads you will see the tiny writing at the bottom: "actual results may vary."

Those two weeks were only difficult on the weekends, the time I spent out and about with friends. Otherwise I really did not have a problem with the diet. Phase 2 started and the diet became even easier to live out. And even though I was not turbo-shedding the weight it was more than I could have ever hoped for compared to my old days at the gym.

It has been a month and a half and, I just have to share, I have lost 14 pounds so far! I love trying on new clothes and seeing how they flatter my body even better than in the past. My legs (my favorite part of me) have not been this firm since high school or even junior high. Same goes for my arms! I love going to the gym so I can push myself further and do my weigh-ins. It is truly exciting, and I do not feel like I have sacrificed much at all with regards to the foods I enjoy. I thought I would miss rice terribly. We are Asian, I used to have rice at least once a day. Eating with the family and watching them eat rice...I thought that would be extremely hard. But I find that I have not missed it much at all. With the little tweaks here and there that the diet has taught me I can easily swap out the cravings I used to have (I can recognize those cravings now) with a suitable just-as-tasty alternative.

Now I am looking at the target I set for myself and it does not feel like it's going to be a marathon effort to achieve my goal. If things remain steady there is no reason why I should not reach my goal by the summer. But what is to stop me there? I am not feeling restricted at all by my diet and my workouts have become a part of my weekly life rather than a chore. If I aim big and work hard I do not see anything stopping me from losing even more weight than I "signed up" for. It is an incredible rush.

It feels even better with all the encouragement I am receiving from my family and friends. Every compliment they pay me -- attention-whore that I am -- only pushes me that much harder. And if ever anyone told me they weren't seeing any results in me I think that would only drive me even more! (Not that anyone has told me that...yet.) I get giddy when my pants are practically falling off -- though I admit I do get sad when they are clothes that I loved -- and it is so fun trying on sizes that I have not bothered trying on in years...and then finding that they look great on me once again. Win-win-win for me!

Packrat love

2008-02-24T22:34:00.002-07:00

- a play on Muskrat Love. Whatever; I'm a dork.
I decided recently to organize my purses. If you have known me for some time you ought to know I have a bazillion purses. I thought all women were like me. Apparently not, none of them have as many purses as me, for sure. Most of my friends only have maybe 5 or 10! It boggles my mind!

Re-organizing my purses is a massive endeavor consisting of clearing them all out of my handbag closet, emptying them out, and rearranging them in some sort of system that makes sense (at the time). Unfortunately, my handbag closet cannot hold all of my handbags so now my collection is split amongst my two closets. This would be why I forget I own such-and-such a bag for years on end until I unearth it once again during one of my "reorgs."

Emptying them out always takes the longest. I pore over every receipt as they spell out their own special page in my life of where I went, when, and what I bought. I peruse over little notes and reminders I left myself at the time. I flip through business cards of mr or ms so-and-so and wonder why I ever got their business cards in the first place.

Like the business card (actually, I found two! I guess he was really big on networking "through" me) of a guy I once knew who I don't really care to contact anymore...and yet I cannot seem to toss the card(s) in the garbage.

Then there is the business card of a barbecue planner/caterer. Why do I have this one??? Clearly I must have met him somewhere? Was he one of those random dates I had back in the day? Sooooo bizarre.

I came across my Rogers and Blockbuster membership cards. Does anyone rent movies anymore?

The best "treasure" I found: 6 unopened boxes of Reese's Pieces -- all in different purses. Yes, I love Reese's Pieces, but going through all my belongings it is fairly evident that I am satisfied with just buying them. No need to eat them! The things I learn about myself!

It's probably not a wise idea to eat them now.

Necesitamos mas amigos qui son salseros y salseras.

2008-02-18T23:52:00.004-07:00

Eeee, I hope my Spanish is still coherent.

This past weekend was the very first Calgary International Salsa Congress; a labor of love for our favorite dance studio and its instructors. T-Girl and I would have been remiss to skip on the event.

Friday night was the pre-congress party held in the ballroom at the Hyatt downtown. I have not gone dancing in months so seeing all the fantastic dancing had me quite intimidated at first. I knew I would be able to hold my own if only I could find a partner who could lead. Unfortunately, the one partner I ended up getting -- a friend of T-Girl's who must have felt bad for me standing solo -- could not keep the beat. I did my best to be gracious and follow his lead and ignore the music, but it just killed the moment for me. My fave partner who is also a TA at the studio was busy getting ready for his performance so no luck there. We'll call him Salsa Boy. When I get the chance to dance with him I feel like the most amazing salsera in the room because I know what I am doing and I am with someone who know what he is doing. It's enough to cause a gal to develop a little salsa crush, 'tis. Salsa Boy gave a fantastic show with his group. Unfortunately, with not much luck in the dance partner department and with Civic's stomach growling we soon bailed after the performances in search of food. It was just as well. I was starting to feel like the little wallflower in junior high.

Saturday night was one of the big shows being held at the Telus Convention Centre. More amazing dancing yet again! Sadly, T-Girl and I were even worse off for partners. More to the point I should say that I was worse off for partners. T-Girl is an incredibly sweet girl who seems to encourage guys from all walks to approach her. I, as you know, can be a veritable ice queen depending on whether the guy in question is even worth a minute of conversation. It was just as well that her partner this evening didn't try including me on the dance floor. He gave me the creeps.

Creepy and pansy guys aside, I could not help but wonder if T-Girl and I would ever break into the social circle that is the Calgary salsa scene. Every salsa event we attend has the same people there. They all seem to know one another really well and that helps them all look amazing on the floor since they know one another's cues and styles. What I would give to have friends like them with whom I could hone my skills, learn, grow, and burn up the night! But even though we recognize them it is often really intimidating to break the ice amongst their groups. However, it would be so fantastic to have a steady group of people to dance with. People we know and who love the latin scene as much as we do. I'm not looking for a romantic partner I just want a dance partner.

2008-02-13T20:16:00.004-07:00

Hot or not

The Hotness is terminally ill.

The Hotness being my favorite cell phone.

I jumped on the chance to own The Hotness as soon as she was released in Canada. With all the research I did in my cell phone forums and such it was clear to me that I was destined to own a Sony Ericsson Z520a. We have had a wonderful life together and she has travelled with me to many lands. On my recent trip to the Philippines I bought a companion phone -- a Sony Ericsson Z610i which I christened Bebot -- to take some of the workload off of The Hotness.

Don't get me wrong, Bebot is shiny, sleek, and sexy. I love whipping her out whenever I see lemming RAZR owners out on the street. But even with her hot exterior, her bells and whistles just cannot hold a candle to how The Hotness and I were a match made for the ages.

Never wanting to be without her for a minute I kept putting off sending her away for a small software glitch, a minor inconvenience, until my extended warranty was (so I thought) about to expire.

Turns out I still had a year on my warranty, no biggie. What hurts me is that my beloved techie boys whom I trusted to take care of my cell phones for years, have defiled my most favorite phone of all. I have no way of proving it but I swear they hurt my phone. They claim there is water damage in The Hotness, making her warranty void and her "glitches" irreparable. She works for now -- save for some static here and there -- but "corrosion spreads."

I feel so lost knowing my favorite gadget is dying a slow death. At some point before I am ready we will have to part ways. I feel betrayed by my "favorite" techie boys. If only I could make a wish to a cell phone fairy somewhere out there. There is NO WAY I would ever let The Hotness get wet. They corrupted her somehow while she was in their care. Now both of us are paying the price.

2008-02-03T12:43:00.000-07:00

All Good Boys Deserve Fudge. Good Boys Deserve Fudge Always

One thing definitely hasn't changed in my blogging style: I always want to start my posts with some kind of musical reference.

Another social network has basically taken over my life on the internet. I'm sure there are quite a few of you out there who can easily guess what I am talking about. It is just too convenient for a little snoopy voyeur like myself. It is like the Cliff's Notes of someone's life rather than having to click and read every single blog post. In a minute you can find out where your old high school friend is working now, what their academic achievements have been, whether or not they are seeing someone at the moment or if they have gone in a domestic way and did the whole married-with-2.5-kids thing. They are not kidding when they say this network is like an addiction. I find myself looking up people from my past, people who I don't really care much about, just to see who's doing what and how. We have all become subjects of our own personal gossip rag.

One friend recently "added" a girl we used to hang out with in high school. Naturally, I pounced on the chance to see what she has been up to (but heaven forbid I "add" this girl myself!) In seconds I can see that she has not changed much at all and in fact she is engaged. I'm not surprised; she was the type who was bent on finding that "right guy;" much like one would work on their career ambitions.

Note: dating compared to a job hunt/career search is a topic that has come up lately. More on that another time.

Finding out more about this girl and how much (little) has changed also made me realize how little I have changed in all these years.

My reaction to the pictures of her fiance? "She's getting what she deserves."

That's not me being impressed or proud of this girl, folks. That's me being all catty...claws out...rawr.

I know...I know...I know that there is some unspoken rule about couples in general and how they are usually par with one another in appearance. You are not going to find Jennifer Aniston with Carrot Top, for instance. But there are always the exceptions. Those which one friend used to explain as guys/girls who shoot for the moon because they do not have anything to lose...and that is when you see Angelina Jolie types strolling and canoodling with Gilbert Gottfried types.

I am not saying that the Gilbert Gottfrieds of the world do not deserve Angelina Jolies. But somewhere in there, I swear...I swear to you there must be at least a small element of self-esteem issues in the mix.

Another friend of mine has been seeing a Gilbert Gottfried (I'm going to shorten this up to GGs from now). She has been seeing GG for a loooong time. I can't wrap my head around it. Everything about this guy irritates me from the moment he opens his mouth and I have to listen to his annoying voice. Her current credo: "nice stands for something."

My response to that? NICE IS THE MINIMUM! Of course a significant other would have to be "nice." Why would one date a jerk? Even if he or she is hot, noone puts up with them if they are a jerk. At least they shouldn't.

By the way, though this should be inherent knowledge, when trying to set up friends on a blind date -- or maybe you yourself are putting together a (eek) personal ad -- NEVER use the word "nice" to describe them/yourself. As I've said, "nice" is the minimum. If you ask me, "nice" always comes with a "but." A read-between-the-lines "but." ("You'll love him! He is such a nice guy!" Translation: Have some compassion and give this runt of the litter a chance! So what if he is cross-eyed.) Nice is such a generic word. A spring day is nice, getting a little extra whip cream on your coffee is nice. If you want to "sell" someone on a potential love interest tell them he or she is sweet, thoughtful, considerate... There are so many words out there that are leagues better than nice.

Ok, as I was saying, nice is the minimum. If you ask her what else she likes about this guy she ends up stumped for a response. I am concerned she has settled (oh dread!) for the minimum.

And this, my friends, is where my whole title about deserving things comes into play.

Of course GG could not be happier. He won! He gets my friend. She's great, stylish, savvy, all the things that he isn't. He scored big. You can't convince me, could never convince me, that he deserves a girl as wonderful as my pal.

But what saddens me is her side of the story. Is this all she thinks she is worth? Don't get me wrong; I don't want her to end up with some good-looking guy who likes to throw her around a la Ike Turner. Couldn't she have more patience and wait for a wonderful guy? One whom she cannot stop raving about because she actually KNOWS what she likes and loves about him? I tell you, this future guy will be more than "nice" in her description.

Please don't misunderstand me, I do not want you to think that this is some shallow rant all about appearances. This is just the best way I can explain things at the moment.

Those who know the type of guy I like physically would have been surprised by the guy I chose, or would have chosen. Sadly, he did not choose me. Truth be told for once (or one of the few times I guess I should say) I have been hurt by a guy whom I suppose decided he deserved someone better than me. I'm not dogging myself. Perhaps I should have worded that last sentence as "better for him."

But if anyone asked me what I saw in him I would have loads to say. Loads! He was uber bright, well-read, incredibly worldly when it came to everything around him, adorably thoughtful... god, I could go on but it would just make me feel even more sad thinking about it all again.

Even with the way he looks now, which was not the way he looked when I first met him, I would still think he is "totally boss." :P I'm a little sad that all his hard work has fallen by the wayside but if he is happy in his state then that's all one could ask for. Heaven knows he had more discipline than me in that respect and I'VE always been happy with my state of appearance. Besides, I can't express my concern for his health at this point...there is that fear that he would misinterpret my comments as a catty way of trying to hurt him for leaving me behind.

In the end, though, I'm certain I will get what I deserve. And he will be fantastically more than nice.

2008-01-13T22:41:00.001-07:00

Old dog...

If I looked back on the date of my very first post I would realize that I have owned this little anthology of my life's tidbits for almost 5 1/2 years now. I would also realize that it is such a shame that I have neglected it for so long.

I missed my 20,000th visitor even...I used to be so keen on watching my site traffic.

It is so nifty that a blogger whom I used to read has written one of the best movies I have seen in the past few years.

Heh, I also realized that I still write my blog posts with all the little code of yesteryear even though Blogger has simplified things to the point where all my little codes can all be accomplished by a click of the mouse on the appropriate button. I'm so behind on the times.

"Now Blogger saves your drafts automatically!" That would have saved me so much grief back in the day.

2007-11-18T20:45:00.000-07:00

sigh

Ok, scratch that. I'm not doing the whole "blog reunion" thing. Well...I'll reunite with my blog...but without all the hype I was building up in my little imagination. I've made so many promises on this blog and have made little effort to keep any of them.

I do appreciate those who continue to blog, as sporadic as some do. Most of them have better reasons for being unavailable to write compared to me but they still take the time to write. A fave blogger is now the proud papa of 2?! Wow, I've been seriously out of the loop!

You would think that after all this time I would have volumes of stuff to write. So bizarre how I feel at a loss for words. It's like when you look forward to seeing a friend after a long week but then once you do get together you sort of forget everything you were going to share with him or her. Awkward.

2007-08-01T23:25:00.000-06:00

Reunion

Last month was our high school reunion. It was so nice to see so many people from way back when. I thought I had grown a lot since then, but thrown back into the mix I found I was more of the same: shy and reserved as always, and taking a (long) while to warm up. Thankfully, others were also the way they had always been. If not for them coming up to me and starting up some conversation I don't think I would have reunited with as many people as I did.

When you say the words "10-year reunion" it feels like so much time has passed, or should have passed. I know 10 years ago I imagined that I would be in a much different place than I am now, and it felt like I had all the time in the world to get there. A common sentiment I heard from a lot of people is that they felt that nothing drastic has changed in 10 years. A lot of us spent most of those years in college, then finding jobs, some of us got married and had kids. But for the majority of those I spoke with it felt like their "adult" lives were just getting started. So when that predictable question of "what's new?" eventually made its way into the conversation, most felt like blanketing the whole time period with "not much." However, once the dialogue really started to flow it was pretty clear that we have all matured quite a bit in the past decade.

It was also interesting to see that most groups gravitated towards one another just like in high school. Refreshingly, though, a lot of the old hang-ups and labels had been tossed long ago and everyone was interacting freely even if they never "hung out" together back then.

I can be a terrible conversationalist when I feel put on the spot (not that it would have been wise to prepare/rehearse a few responses before the reunion) so I did not really put much thought into my responses to peoples questions while I was at the reunion, but I certainly had a lot to "say" after the fact as I laid in bed replaying the evening in my mind! Which gave me a great idea...

I am going to reunite with my blog! Where else do I have a captive audience but here? And, as always, I can be as verbose as I wish (I bet noone would have guessed me to be the yappy type back in high school!) and it will give me some good solid quality writing time with my blog. As a bonus, any new readers I may have (I have noticed some new visitors) can catch up on my "history" in one fell swoop.

So here goes...

2007-06-23T14:47:00.001-06:00

She speaks!

Hm, yeah. I suppose I am long overdue for a post on my beloved blog. *sheepish*

My excuse is pure laziness. Quite simple. As some of you may know, another online community has all but consumed my life when I am not out and about...which makes my poor little blog a distant item on my list of priorities. There are days when I feel I'm ready to touch base and blog but then I sign on to that other site and well...

Anyway, I'm here right now. Heaven knows I need some discipline in my life. :P

I'll try to get you up to speed. I spent an emotionally charged two weeks "back home" in the Philippines in April and turned my back on my darling Calgary Flames as they started their playoff run. Sad to say, they lost, and I came home to a dejected Big Boi posse and no more hockey games for the season.

However, I would not have traded those two weeks for anything. It is so easy to "forget" the family you have so far away...the lack of contact goes without question. And the cost...having been bit by the travel bug I felt I could not justify the cost of a ticket to the Philippines when that same amount of money could get me to another undiscovered destination. But I did the right thing. As I collected all my luggage and psyched myself up for the impending reunion just outside those doors various memories of past visits started playing through my head like a montage. It was like I was not even really there yet, it was all just a tease, a dream. A dream that was prolonged by the fact that Ninoy Aquino International Airport is such a gong show full of reunited relatives that I could not find my family. It had been 15 years. Would they even recognize me now?

As soon as I found my uncle and my cousins I could not contain myself anymore. Yes, I'm a crybaby. Apparently it runs in our family, so I am not ashamed of it at all.

Wow, our family has grown so much since I visited last. So many second cousins, so many new faces to remember. Halfway through my trip, although the tearful reunions were petering out, I started a whole other series of waterworks as I went to bed every night. The trip felt so short, I was just starting to get to know everyone once again, how could I possibly say "goodbye" so soon?

I am very grateful that I went, and I promise myself and all my loved ones that I will return more often now. Especially, as morbid as this sounds, while all my loved ones are still around. There is no other holiday that can compare to this, nothing more rejuvenating, nothing more surreal than the love and joy that comes with spending time "back home."

2007-04-12T00:49:00.000-06:00

GO FLAMES GO!

See you all in Round 2. I leave our boys in your capable hands. I've got a plane to catch. :)

2007-03-13T22:26:00.000-06:00

Whodathunkit?

The Big Flames Fanatics (AKA my siblings and our friends) got together to cheer our boys on against Tampa Bay. In fine form, we had our horns, our thunder sticks, and thanks to Daisy's dad we had COWBELLS!

You can never have enough cowbell.

It was also a marvelous day because it was our first day of temperatures in the high teens this year. (Weather which was quashed today by a ridiculous amount of snow....which then melted almost completely...but hey, that's Calgary for you!) In my excitement I spent the evening in capris and sans jacket. Thank goodness I never had to regret my clothing choices!

So there we were, picture it, 14 of our bestest buds and blood cheering on our beloved hometown boys. There were some scary moments...stupid referees were driving us insane! But in the end we LOST! LOST! The Flames have never lost whenever we have attended a game. Never! It never even dawned me that they could possibly lose.

And they lost. And we all sat there, numb, for a good little while as the 'dome emptied out.

But the Flames squared their shoulders and looked onward to the next game. So must we do the same. As we filed out many "good times" pics were taken amongst the group. Lots of crazy ones, but Weird Kid's like that.

However, the craziest one of the group...you will never believe this...ended up being our very own baby sis! Weird Kid and most of his friends were far far ahead of most of us. My friends for the most part were trailing behind us. Big Boi J and I were discussing the finer details of changing his license plate to read "sxytyme" when my darling little sister bolted ahead, turned and faced a non-Flames couple, stuck her horn between her legs, and razzed them!

Big Boi J and I looked at each other and burst out laughing. Clearly, baby sis has been hanging with bad influences! Too bad the bad influences are us! :)

2007-03-11T22:27:00.000-06:00

Boogie oogie oogie till I just can't boogie no more

My dance instructors have started up a new salsa night in the city. We were lucky enough to come out and support their grand opening. As an added bonus, the venue was a recently renovated establishment I have wanted to check out for a couple of months.

All I can say is that I hope they can keep this up. This evening was better than anything I have seen in Calgary thus far. No scuzzy guys, no sticky floors, everyone dressed like the sexy people they are. Better yet, everyone was there to dance, much like how SoHo started out, but since then SoHo has fallen down a couple of notches.

The dancing was AMAZING! It was inspiring and incredible to watch. A lot of our fellow classmates were there, as were many of the students in levels ahead of us. If I could progress to their levels I'd be ecstatic. I would love to go every week, particularly since our classes will be ending again for the semester soon, and it will probably be very easy to do once the summer hits, but I'll go as much as I can until then. I am so hooked. I have never really been one to try hard to fit in with a particular crowd, but if I could get to know more of the regular dancers at my school it would be amazing to get to try dancing with them every once in a while.

2007-03-05T21:05:00.000-07:00

Out of control

Last week was my annual checkup at the Tom Baker Cancer Centre. Or rather, I guess I should specify that it was my fifth annual checkup. My five year anniversary, my supposed start date to buckle down, live my life, and move on as if I am just any other healthy girl on this planet.

I didn't get to see my normal oncologist, which I thought was weird. Once a year and he can't even see me? Instead I got a guy in residence and the doctor he's been shadowing (is that right? I don't know how it really goes). I realize that every budding doctor has to start somewhere, but why with me? He doesn't know my history, other than what's written on my charts. Making the best of it he told me what my results were telling him, and I told him what had been bothering me as of late. Chest x-ray came out clear, MRI was a-ok. But THEN they decided to see me again next year. I don't know about them, but I thought this was my final checkup. After thinking about it, I didn't really fight it. One morning a year to make sure I'm cancer-free is well worth the time. I'd see them once a year for the rest of my life if it meant keeping me healthy. Mind you, seeing them once a year also means I never get to fully ignore the big C word...but let's face it, I don't want to bury my head in the sand and get sick once again.

Unfortunately, and I remember this clearly 'cuz of the events happening at the time, on the day of the Halloween Club Crawl last year (October 28) my right eye would not open as wide as my left eye. It looked like I was in permanent wink-mode. I chalked it up to my mascara or the like irritating my eye, although it was taking forever to clear out...or maybe it was the start of an infection? Unfortunately, I did not have any time to get it checked out before my trip to the Dominican. Hope of all hopes: it would clear up and deal itself out of my system. Well, halfway through my week it was pretty clear things weren't getting much better. My eye would always open wider as the day progressed but first thing in the morning it was still in perma-wink. I texted my brother to ask my mom to set up an appointment with my GP for when I got back home...it wasn't such a dire emergency that I wanted to waste my time in paradise in a foreign doctor's clinic. (But I did let my imagination run a little wild. Did I suffer from a tiny stroke and that's why that eye was acting up? Were my muscles and nerves breaking down due to my radiation therapy from the past? What was going on??)

My mom one-upped me and instead of my GP she set up an appointment with my opthalmologist. I have not seen him in years since he decided that they would not do "normal eye exams" any longer. He took a look at it and decided that it was an infection that was already on its way out (of course my eye was opening somewhat better than most days that day).

Really, I thought he was right, my eye didn't seem to be so closed in the mornings any longer and it bounced back a lot quicker during the day. It still wasn't 100%, but it would get there.

Fast forward to my appointment at the Tom Baker. My eye still wasn't perfect so I thought I'd bounce my little theory about my muscles/nerves getting all tired on my right side and that's why it would not open as wide as my left eye. Mr Resident did a few rudimentary tests; my eye, and the muscles controlling its movement, were fine in his opinion. However, he and his doctor buddy figured that my eyelid was definitely puffier than my "healthy" one and that I should go see my opthalmologist again to sort out the puffy eyelid (infection?) and Mr Resident saw the beginnings of a cataract going on. Maybe the cataract was a side effect from the radiation.

Cataract? Was that not an issue for old people? No, I shouldn't be so age-ist.

However, my mom felt the same way. "But you're so young still!"

Fine, so I was developing a cataract. I've seen my grandma and others in our family circle deal with them, I knew the procedure. At least this issue was easily remedied and after that I'd be good as new.

Fast forward a few days more to today. I went back to my opthalmologist to have him look it over. It's NOT a cataract. (Or so he says. Mom is skeptical and wants me to get a second opinion.) My corneal scarring from my childhood was getting denser, and that was why my vision was getting worse. But to be honest, I have become so dependent on my left eye, I did not even realize my right eye's vision had been getting so bad!

Oh, and my eye not opening as much? I guess the brain works to "protect" the eye, and it is keeping my right eye more closed so that less light enters in since its vision is more light-sensitive right now.

"See me in six months." No breakdown as to how we were going to deal with this problem. Nothing.

To be honest, I would have been a lot happier with a cataract. At least I know how that can be fixed. I was really hoping to get a car real soon. If my eyesight is getting worse, how can I confidently get around in my cute car?

On a less trivial note, I'm again feeling sort of helpless. I'm a girl of science. Have cancer? Nuke it with some radiation = all better. Have a cataract? Fix it with a little bit of surgery...again, all better. But when you don't give me a clear solution to my issues I feel pretty lost. Not only that, but you would think that the one person I should be able to rely on in this world is myself. How can I do that if my own body is working against me?

I am so thankful that I still have such a close and loving family. Not to mention my friends, though I try to burden them even less than my family. It's not very often that I'll admit that I am frustrated.

2007-02-25T14:32:00.000-07:00

Mas caliente que tu

"Let's go!"

And with that we left our friends with the ever-entertaining French pirate and headed back to our rooms to freshen up. What a group! Some sassy cougars (C and S), a darling small-town wide-eyed girl (J), a good girl (yours truly...or that's how I pictured myself), and a friendly glamazon (L).

We were staying at the Occidental Grand Flamenco in Puerto Plata, right in the Playa Dorada complex. Just down the street was Mangu at the old Jack Tar village. The night was young and Mangu was just opening (11pm) and it would not be Puerto Plata if we did not check this place out. The only bar that let locals mix with the tourists within the complex. Enough of the French pirates and the other Europeans. Bring on the Dominicans!

Personally, I was uber excited. I was already on a music high ever since we landed, merengue and bachata all around me! Seeing the locals living in the music was an incredible experience. Now I would get to see them show how merengue and bachata are truly danced.

The cougars came out in crazy heels and as a result we had to take a 2 minute taxi ride down to the club. Thanks to our resort bracelets we got in without any cover, but it made me wonder how much they normally charge the locals. But before we stepped in:

"Be easy on these guys, girls. They fall for outsiders easily. They'll promise you the world just to keep you" a friend warned. Inside I groaned and snickered all at the same time. I can't stand it when people get all patronizing and lecture me on things I already know, but I am usually good at biting my lip. And "fall for outsiders?" As if she did not actually mean that they love sleeping with outsiders. Was she speaking from experience? It sure sounded like it. But, you know, open mind open mind open mind. Let's run with the generalization that Latinos are hugely family-oriented and with that they would never disrespect women. Benefit of the doubt.

So just past the security bouncers was a large open area with a DJ behind his turntables at the other end. It was dead, to boot. This was what we came for? Our own resort disco was more jumping than this!

But I was so wrong. The cougars (could you tell they had been here before?) gathered us up and led us through the doors on the side. Now this was a club. Great lights, multiple bars, circular dance floor, not a whole lot of booths but what are you going to do at a club but dance, right? Oh what? Is that a cage over in the corner? We had to step aside as a midget man in a beret and kilt walked past carrying a box of cerveza over his shoulder. I know I should say "vertically-challenged" but I'm just too lazy to type all that out.

As we lined up to order drinks (there was just something that made me bitter about paying for drinks after getting spoiled at an all-inclusive only a few days into the week)a mega-tall woman walked by. The glamazon and I exchanged looks.

"They've got women taller than me here!" and I nodded in agreement. But halfway through my nod we realized the amazon lady was a dude! A dragazon, if you will!

Here I was, in this tiny Caribbean country, and I was seeing things that I have never seen in Calgary: city of a million-plus.

And from then on all week we would say "it ain't a party without a drag queen and a midget."

Later, the midget dressed down to jeans and no shirt and the dragazon entertained, dancing in the cage. Craziness.

Oh, the dancing! I just watched in awe. This was like SoHo multiplied by 5,000 times the allure. All of a sudden S was grabbing my hand and leading me over to one of the local guys. It was like her mission to get everyone out on the dance floor. I didn't resist. I wanted to dance. Merengue was easier than salsa and I felt pretty confident. So away we went and all was good.

Or so I thought. Being trained in something and being born with it are two totally different things, obviously, and I found myself flustered...thinking much too hard about following his lead. Alright, fine, I was having a bit of difficulty getting into the groove of things but then...

"I'm sorry. You can't merengue."

Did I hear him right? So much for having patience! I couldn't believe it. I have danced with my fair share of rhythmically-challenged people and worse but I have NEVER told them they suck to their face. Rarity of rarities, I took the higher road and thanked him for the dance, walking off the dance floor with a pinched ego. Pinched, not bruised.

Luckily for me, I was not a wallflower for very long. A tall, dark guy with the body of 50 Cent (but without the "duh!" face) came over to dance with me. Transition in the evening, the merengue music moved onto RnB and hiphop. Alright, I have not been "trained" in dancing to RnB and hiphop but I highly doubt anyone would ever tell me that I can't dance it. "Only You" by 112 came on and, though it's still somewhat uptempo, he held me close and serenaded me. But, um, serenading and grinding seem kind of incongruent.

Where do I go? What must I do 'cuz I can't live without your love? Thinking of you makes me feel like you are the only one for me

His name was Ariel (Like the little mermaid, I thought) and he worked in Internet Services at the Marien Coral. Coincidentally, I had just stopped by the Marien Coral that day. To prove this (did I look skeptical?) he showed me his staff ID. I don't know what it is with guys always showing me some form of ID. It reminds me of that time in Toronto when John opened his wallet and showed me his AHC card to back the fact that he used to live in Alberta.

Then another song came on, and frankly I can't remember what the other songs were after Only You. He started to bump with me and normally I think that dance is kind of immature. Whenever I've been at the clubs here in Calgary and some drunken fool starts bumping me I get all disgusted. Besides, who knows why they think it's making them look sexy? It certainly doesn't do anything for me. But this time...there was a *cough* "rock hard penis" as J was prone to repeating numerous times throughout the evening. Yes, my 50 Cent was not the only guy dancing with a "rock hard penis," apparently.

But yes, a "rock hard penis" (I will keep typing that out to sort of reenact how J sounded the whole evening.) makes the stupid bump dance move pretty, er, interesting. Or maybe Ariel and I were just the right height for things 'cuz it had me feeling pretty good. *blush*

Ok, off the dancefloor I went. I needed a breather. Along came J with her "rock hard penis" experience. FYI: J is married to a farmer much akin to a Hutterite colony. Married should mean that she knows all about "rock hard penis(es)" but I guess she's not used to other men's "rock hard penis(es)" which would make sense.

I lost Ariel somehow, alas. Along came another guy, not very built and not as tall. His name was Antonio and he worked for the Pizza Hut at the Playa Dorada Complex. Again, he showed me his staff ID. It must be a common thing to do over there. He, too, had a "rock hard penis" though it wasn't as impressive(?) No, I can't think of the right word right now. Anyway, here I was, thinking that I was being a pretty good girl. It wasn't my fault these guys were in a perpetually aroused state ("rock hard penis," for good measure). J just proved it wasn't just me, not that I am that vain to think such a thing, so me dancing with these guys is just some good innocent holiday fun.

Then Antonio kissed me, and he's not even that good of a kisser! In fact, he's kind of a sloppy kisser. But the little devil on my shoulder got together with the little angel on my other shoulder and both said "screw it, you're on a trip!" So, I kissed back. Just like the bump move here in Calgary, it wasn't doing much for me. Truth be told dancing with Ariel did more for me than kissing with Antonio. If I had been a good girl I wouldn't have just went along with it, but I did.

We danced/kissed for a little longer when he took my hand and led me across the dance floor. In the back of my mind I had an idea of what he was up to but I let him have the benefit of the doubt. We were also headed towards the bar where the original bartender (the lady who served us our drinks) had been replaced by a hot HOT guy in a wifebeater that my friends had been raving about. It was a good opportunity to check out what the fuss was all about. I had to agree. That bartender guy looked like Hotness-a-la-mode. Unfortunately, we walked past the bar...which meant he wasn't looking to buy me a drink and my initial instincts were right. *sigh* I stopped in my tracks, let go of his hand, and started walking back to where we had been.

What's wrong?
I'm staying with my friends.
How come?
I'm not leaving the club.
Alright

And with that he took my hand again and led me through the crowd around the dance floor (the long way) back to my friends. Once we got back L saw Antonio latched onto me and asked "ready to go?" Very much so!

I told him I was leaving, but either he didn't hear me or he pretended that he didn't as his arms wrapped me up from behind and he started kissing my neck.

You want to go and dance again?
No, I told you my friends are ready to go.

But just as I said that J got pulled onto the dance floor again by another "rock hard penis." Great woman, but she seemed to be having the best time she's ever had in ages so she wasn't fighting to leave the club at any point soon. She would never cheat on her husband, though, so we weren't all too concerned. But what about me?!

Your friend is dancing now. You can dance a little more.
No,no, we're going really soon.
Leah, I like you. Ok? (There it was!!! What my friend had warned me all about! Was this guy for real? No no no no no...it must still be all about getting me into bed.)
Ok
Will you come see me tomorrow? I will be at work. (Pizza Hut.)
I don't know. We've got some plans for tomorrow already.
Please come and see me. (*sigh* It doesn't matter where I am in the world. The pansies still manage to find me.)
I'm not promising anything. Maybe, (not really) but don't wait for me.

L managed to wrangle J from her dance partner and S was ready to go (no luck for her) while C had managed to find 2 young Germans from our resort to accompany us back.

We all got ready to pile into a taxi-van when S insisted that this time we would walk. Was she nuts? She gave our taxi away to another group and started walking. C dragged at the end of our line and kicked off her heels for better stability in the darkness and her alcohol-influenced state. We must have been a sight. The 10-minute walk took, I'm sure, a good 20 minutes or more. All the while, S kept gushing about me and Antonio, though I sensed a bit of catty jealousy on her part. (Later that week, she actually asked us "what does it take for a girl to get laid around here?" So if there was any doubt as to why she was always looking for an opportunity to hit the bars or meet the locals, the disillusionment was swiftly lifted.)

"Oooooh, did that guy ever like you! He was on you like white on rice. *chuckling to herself about her little analogy* White on rice, don't you get it?"

"White on rice" soon became the new "rock hard penis." The next morning at breakfast S was still telling the rest of our group about how Antonio was on me like "white on rice."

It looks like Antonio bet on the wrong girl. If he had wanted to have some fun that night he should have chosen S. Not to speak ill of S's virtue, but at least we knew what she was after.

Other than that, Mangu was fantastic. I would highly recommend it to anyone going to the Dominican Republic in the next little while.

2007-02-21T21:12:00.000-07:00

You can't have it your way here!

So somehow I have lucked out and been to Falafel King twice AND I had my favorite calamari caesar at the gas station in the past couple of weeks. I do love me some Mediterranean cuisine.

We lucked out on our first trip to Falafel King as they were about to close in 15 minutes. I was not all that hungry, but I had not had a falafel in months and everyone knows I am horrible at denying myself something I want. So there you had it.

The prices at the gas station have gone up a dollar across the board. Who cares? I'll gladly pay it for the yummy yummy food. (I would tell you the name of the place, but it is a hidden city gem after all. If you haven't heard about it by now through newspaper articles and such through the years then it sucks to be you! Haha. Besides, we can't have you all rushing over and ruining a great thing. I hate it when that happens.) So good! And yes, my calamari was not in little heart shapes but I couldn't have asked for a more satisfying Valentine's Day meal.

Our second trip to Falafel King and I was better behaved. All I wanted was something little to nibble on. So I went for an order of baba ghanouj (oh baba, how I adore thee!) and decided to finally ask what a kibbie ball was. They didn't bother answering me 'cuz apparently they were already sold out of kibbie balls for the evening. Well alright then. I decided to ask for some baklava to end off my baba snack. No baklava, either! Guy says "I'm sorry my dear. Today has been crazy!" No kidding! You see what I mean about too many people ruining a great thing? I can't even get my own goodies to eat. So I asked for a mango juice instead. Mmmmm. I had never had one before but it was just as good as my mango bubble tea at Dessert House. Minus the pearls, of course.

While I'm on the subject of Mediterranean goodness: I am quite happy that the city has decided to exclude the shisha bars from the no-smoking bylaw. I have not gone to Cafe Mediterranean or any of the other local shisha bars in years, but I never considered shisha smoke to be as intrusive as cigarette smoke. I was a tad melancholy when I realized I may never get to try other shisha flavours again due to the bylaw, so the exemption was wonderful news. I think the city would miss out on a great cultural experience (should they opt to try it) if shisha smoke had been banned.

2007-02-20T17:25:00.000-07:00

"Talk at you later"

No, folks, I do not actually talk like that. No need to correct me.

On Valentine's Day a handful of singletons and I went to -- drumroll please -- a singles event.

Yes, I know, great googly moogly, what was I thinking!

It was a party put together by one of my favorite clubs. Though their advertising was a little vague I had jumped to conclusions and assumed that it was one of those nifty fetes were they loan you Blackberries to text message potential lurve interests. Not so! Instead, they gave us stickers with a number to slap onto our bods somehow, somewhere. And during the night you could come to the booth and leave handwritten messages for those you were interested in.

Yeah, I never bothered seeing if anyone had left me a message. Nor did I leave any messages for others.

We were a varied crew. Some were excited about the potential for the evening, some were excited about the assumed Blackberry-ness of it all (oh, the trouble one could get into sending strangers bizarre messages!), while others were mortified to be dragged to a "singles event." Needless to say, the latter seemed quite relieved when nothing became of the evening.

"Disappointment" sums it up nicely. No Blackberries. Everyone else was in groups just like mine. I couldn't even make the best of the evening and dance. Being that it was a "school night" we left before midnight seeing as the night was completely bunk. We toughed it out for more than 2 hours and they had not even opened up the dance floor by the time we left. Ugh.

2007-02-19T19:18:00.000-07:00

"I said I wasn't gonna lose my head but then 'PoP!' goes my heart"

I had to put that there. Music and Lyrics is not a monumental flick by any means but that song has been in my head alllllll weekend. I even went so far as to buy the ringtone for my phone. Man, I'm acting bizarre. :)

In other movie news I noticed that John Travolta is starring in a movie alongside Martin Lawrence and Tim Allen. What is THAT all about? *sob*

Thanks to Civic I was able to catch the Flames game on Saturday against the Avalanche. And since I was there, of course we won. :) When he was driving me home, however, we had a bit of nervousness as we were being tailed by a drunk driver. Or at least we assumed he was a drunk driver. He was all over the road, and Civic had to take a detour past my house (guy still following!) until we lost him and he could finally drop me off. And after that as I was turning off the lights in the house for the evening a car parked itself perpendicular to our sidewalk, flashing its headlights into our home. Nervously, I shut off the lights and crouched behind the window to see what the guy was up to. No need for alarm. It turns out it was our newspaper man dropping off the Sunday edition. That was enough excitement for one night, needless to say!

2007-02-16T13:09:00.000-07:00

Pandora's Box

Blogs are a dangerous thing.

I spent hours and hours poring over the new blogs he recommended. It probably was not his intention for me to dive so deep into the thick of it all, but curiosity gets the best of me. It's just like how my parents tease me: for a girl with such a flat nose, I can totally stick it in places it does not belong.

The more I read the more I recognized the similarities with my experience. I nodded my head in agreement with some posts. At other times I shook my head in disbelief over the immaturity of it all.

Aside: I've been observing A LOT of immature behaviour between couples as of late. Is it good that I am recognizing these ahead of time or would I not see it myself when placed in the same situation? Anyway, I digress...

He wants me to see his side of the story. I know that's why he had me read all those things. Do I tell him what he wants to hear or what I think he ought to hear? He needs to know the truth. I deserve to know the truth. Right after my experience my emotions got doused with ice water leaving me in shock. That is what makes it awful. I knew better, and I still know better, but I sure did not act better in the moment.

I made a mistake. He's made a whole whack of mistakes. Lots of lip service, can't quite tell if there's any sincerity behind it all.

But what makes me any better than him? Given my current options am I really learning from anything I do? I think I'm too stubborn to give up my shoddy habits. No. Vices. It's definitely a vice.

Anyway, enough self-analysis. If I were smart -- and obviously that's up for debate these days -- I'd steer clear of all his drama.

2007-02-14T00:21:00.000-07:00

Happy Valentines Day!

I hope that you all have an uber fabulous day with those you love. It's like Christmas all over again, but I love the color scheme so much more :) And who can say no to chocolates, champagne, and flowers? Not I!

Love you all!

2007-02-07T23:46:00.000-07:00

Double dutch

I think tag team dating would be a very good idea some days.

But then again, it didn't work out the one time I tried it out.

A long time ago, in a neighborhood not so far away, I met this guy. I thought he was great and we had lots to talk about...almost like a really good friend. That should've been a clue right there.

So finally we decided to meet up and go to a nearby mall (we were both going to the university at the time). We'd seen pictures of one another before, so I can't say that I was surprised. Unfortunately, something just wasn't there. At least for me it wasn't there. And thusly we remained friends.

But what struck me as incredible was that a lot of his travel experiences and musical tastes reminded me of another good friend of mine. A female friend. So, you know, a light bulb went off over my head.

I think I went about it the right way. I asked them both if they wouldn't mind me introducing them to one another. Neither objected, and as coincidence would have it he had been thinking of introducing me to one of his friends. (In the end, he never did introduce us.)

"Great!" I thought to myself. Two great people with loads in common, I think my dating will pay off in my buddies' favors.

Like in wrestling, I tagged her in and swapped out.

They didn't click. I still can't understand it. I think she was all for him, but tables turned and this time it was he who didn't feel a connection. At least they're both still my friends.

Ok, so that wasn't a successful account of tag-team dating. And to be honest, I haven't dated anyone since that I would say is a great match for any of my single buds. (That's 'cuz we're all so different from one another.) But on the off-chance that I do, I think I would be remiss if I don't at least give them the option/opportunity to meet.

2007-02-05T22:14:00.000-07:00

For that special someone

Cupcakes! Yeesh, I almost forgot how elusive they were last Valentine's Day.

If only someone were devoted enough to nab me one (or two)! Yummmm, what I wouldn't give for one right now, even. Too bad Crave is closed on Mondays.

This semester's salsa class has another salsa ace. I love following his lead, it's obvious he's done this before. Whenever it's our turn to practice together he tries out some new ideas to see which ones I think work best (they may not be the conventional techniques, but I personally think the suggestions I've made make his leads more clear.) We talked about where he's gone and danced in the city and such, both of us realizing we'd learned salsa previously.

So I asked him why he was taking a beginner salsa course (after I told him about how this was Civic's first time). Turns out his girlfriend hadn't taken salsa yet. *sigh* I knew he came with a certain girl each week, but there was always that faintest of hopes that she was just a sister or something. Not that I wanted to start anything, but it would be nice to have a regular partner to try new moves with, or even to accompany us to the clubs as an extra guy and stuff. So much for that.

Thinking back on last Friday, now I really want a Crave cupcake.

2007-02-04T21:50:00.000-07:00

"I want you to want me, I need you to need me"

It's true. Whenever I or one of my siblings are in the Saddledome watching the Flames play they always win. I think they should give us season tickets since we're such lucky charms for them. :) They can't afford to not have us there rooting for them.

Iggy's back in the game. I love me some Iginla! His first game back Weird Kid lucked out with rinkside seats! He's got some amazing pictures of my Jarome. Unfortunately I had salsa class that night, but Iggy still put on a fantastic show on Saturday when I was there.

The CPBA season ended today and due to a twist of fate at the end of last week's game the best that the Phenoms could vie for was 3rd, which they earned. It didn't seem like they even wanted to bother with today's game but I'm very glad they did.

I finally got around to watching Scarface tonight. Weird Kid borrowed it from a coworker. All these years I've shrugged it off as another gangster movie but when he popped it in I took the time to read the preface that starts off the flick. That caught my interest. So I finally sat down and made the time to watch it. Fine, my previous impressions were dead on: another gangster movie. I thought there'd be more of a message re: communist Cuba, political refugees, etc etc. Like a history lesson. Enh, not so much. I see why people love the movie, but I was hoping for something more substantial, deeper.

But that Steven Bauer guy? The one that plays Manolo? Rawr! Too bad he's probably uber old by now. I read his actor bio and it says he married and had a child with Melanie Griffith. She must have a serious thing for Latinos. Not that I blame her.

2007-02-01T22:18:00.000-07:00

I know what boys like

Ok, I don't really. I just find that song catchy.

Guys say they can't understand us, but of course the same is equally true of themselves. Our little urban singleton family helps to break it down for one another but still...there are never any hard and fast rules with either gender. It's always "just speculation."

So that whole previous paragraph is devoid of any substance.

But here's an example of how unpredictable things can be: I run into my favorite on the train. Great way to start the day! It was all just chit-chat but it was effortless and good times and it was so good to see him again.

Now here's the rub: we were already planning to get together two days later.

Two days later comes and we get to see one another again, this time it's planned. What happens? I have no clue! All I know is, all of a sudden, we're all awkward and the conversation keeps falling on the floor. Ugh. What was so different between then and two days before? Other than the previous meeting being a total surprise?

Annnd, dumbness of dumbness, I want to hug him but I can't. Is that not stupid? Maybe if I had met his girlfriend at some point...I don't know. I've known too many psychotic girlfriends; I don't want to ruin things for him just 'cuz I want a friendly hug.

2007-01-25T22:11:00.000-07:00

Bachelor no. 1: If I were an Oreo cookie...

I just don't get it. I went out with one guy and I behaved one way. I go out on a date with another guy and it's like I'm a completely different person! It's a total Dr Jekyll and Ms Hyde thing going on (except, you know, not hideously ugly and violent). Why can't I be the same "Leah" with both of the guys? Am I being fake with one and sincere with the other? It doesn't feel like it! *checks herself*

Will the real Leah please stand up?

What makes it even more sad is that I wish I could be the second version of me when I'm around the first guy. Truth be told guy A was my favorite. Still is (especially the more I meet other guys).

Guy B...well, I know what he's about. I don't want to keep up that kind of relationship. But then why am I a more fun Leah when I'm with him? Am I in denial about which guy I really "click" with?

Truth be told I shouldn't even bother choosing either one. Guy A is always busy and he let me know where we were at right from the beginning. So really I couldn't even choose guy A 'cuz it's not mutual. Guy B makes time for me, but it's not for the right reasons.

It's funny how when you write things down it all becomes clear even though you probably already knew it to begin with. And it always sucks being so practical 'cuz we all know the practical option sucks. It sucks goats.

Anyway, apart from those two, it's as if I have become, as Civic has so aptly put it, a "pansy magnet." And you know why that is, right?

Yeah. Valentine's Day.

But they've started earlier this year...guys scrambling for attention more than a month in advance! Unfortunately, they're also clingy and pansy and, oh, too much to bear.

One hedged his risks when approaching me. Not only did he approach me but a little bit of snooping and I found out he had been "harassing" (that's right, I said it...though it's more along the lines of sad, whiny pestering) a whole slew of other girls. Within the first 10 minutes of our conversation he told me that:
a) he wanted to watch me dance; (this was after I told him I couldn't meet him for coffee due to dance class...but oh no, he couldn't join the class himself, he just wanted to watch *shudders*)
b) he wanted me to join him at his place for, what was clearly, a couples poker night with marrieds and the whole relationship Noah's Ark the following weekend; (yeah, I realize that does not make any sense, but I like it)
c) he would like to know my availability Sunday night since I was not available Friday or Saturday...what about a weekday? What about right now? I wasn't doing anything particular at the moment so clearly I'm free for coffee, right?

This went on for several days. I'm not telling you this 'cuz I'm bragging about all his pleading to go out with little old me. In fact, it's embarrassing that guys like him try to exhaust me into going out with them.

After I'd had enough, he got blizzocked.

Oy, remember bus guy? Just thought I'd throw that in there, for old times' sake

Then we have another typical type who gets pissed when you don't greet them immediately, though you don't have much to say to them. If they're like that now I can only imagine what it would be like to actually be dating someone similar.

And then there are those who flat out tell you they think they like you and would like to have a relationship with you (and no lie, they tell you this in those exact words) by your first conversation. Forget the fact that they are basing this on a profile you have not updated in years *cough* MySpace *cough* nor does it describe you in a whole lot of detail. And to top it all off, they have not even met you in person!

Yes, you could chastise me for whining about these guys when all I do is hang around online. So what am I supposed to expect, right?

Or maybe I'm in the same sad-boat as the rest of them. It'd be nice if guy A liked me a little more. But I know what it's like so out of respect I leave him be.

2007-01-23T22:44:00.000-07:00

A rose by any other name...

Remember Gagandeep? I know this is going to sound racist any way you look at it but...surely they realize how their names come across on an English tongue, right? I know it's a cultural pride sort of thing...but seriously.

Today the siblings and I were at a local retail giant (how's that for obscure?) and met a young man working the customer service end of things. His name?

Hardon

No lie. If only his name was hyphenated. And in relation to Gagandeep: what if Hardon had a surname such as Mandeep or something? Alright, I'm seriously crossing a line here, I know, but surely a surname such as Mandeep is not completely unlikely.

It's wrong to make fun of his name, I know, I know. But can you imagine the kind of customer comment cards you could write?

"Your Hardon is excellent."

"I wish all staff I have encountered were as impressive as your Hardon."

"I would highly recommend your Hardon to all my friends."

Alright, I'll stop. I'm just saying...

2007-01-21T12:42:00.000-07:00

"All in!"

I've never bet all in on a poker game before, but there's always a first time for everything.

Last night we had our annual staff party and he was there again. Him. The cuuuute software rep that flies in from Toronto every year just to join us. And dare I say he remembered me! *swoon* But then again, I guess that's his job. :)

Also in attendance was my favorite cougar in the whole wide world. Yay! Unfortunately, "networking" did not work out so well.

So there I was, schmoozing with the reps and my colleagues when I spotted my favorite cougar (we'll call her FC) and worked my way over to her to say Hello. I had not seen her in a couple of months. They had re-zoned her area and she was no longer our rep. I missed her visits...she's so funny. Turns out that our new rep had a family emergency and ta-da, FC was there to take her place for the evening.

As luck would have it, FC and the hottie rep were together chatting with some of my colleagues. We'll call hottie rep "the Greek." So I found a space in their chat circle and said "Hello."

"Watch out for this one!" FC warns "She looks all quiet and shy but she dances up a storm!"

"Party animal, huh?" the Greek asks "Let's go, then!" And, oh god, the look he gave me right then and there, I would've sworn we had a moment. And that suit he was wearing was so hot...I just wanted to take his tie and bind myself to him, haha.

And I could've cursed at myself; I turned into shy-Leah again! What was wrong with me? He just gave me that look and I became all flustered and all my "shy" mannerisms came out full force. I couldn't look him in the eye and self-consciously rubbed my neck. Geez!

What I SHOULD'VE said: "I doubt you could keep up!" with a play-consoling touch on his arm.

What I actually said: "Well...we don't have a dancefloor and any music. Um, it's too bad..."

And what he said as a result: "Yes, and I suppose if we were dancing to no music they might actually have to come take us away."

Me: "Um, yeah." And I dropped the convo. :( But luckily it didn't look like I dropped the convo due to lack of interest in the subject...FC swooped back into our conversation wanting to ask how my holidays were, how I was doing, and to gain my opinions on Puerto Plata.

Sadly, I was not placed at his table. But it's just as well since I seemed to be slaughtering myself socially right in front of him.

Goody gumdrops for me, though, I ended up being placed on his team for the casino challenge. Each of us were given 20 dollars to try and grow. As our team strategized what best to do with our chips to maximize our winnings it was pretty clear how the genders were divided. Boys want to play tables and girls toy with the slot machines. I wanted to try my hand at poker in a casino (not that I'm a poker marvel) but with half an hour time limit I didn't really think I'd get very far with it. That and I would've loved to stick around and watch him play, but I had my own money to manage. Looking back I should've just given him my chips. Then I wouldn't be responsible for losing my share (haha) and I could stay and "monitor" our progress.

"And what are you going to do?" Greek asked me. His hand rested right below my shoulder. A googly-eyed Cosmo girl would have probably thought "oh my god, he's touching me above my elbow! That's so intimate! He wants to shag me!" But I kept my cool as I dumbly replied that I'd join the other two ladies at the slot machines.

Though I swear he was checking me out while I walked/strutted(? heehee) right in front of him. And I walked so slow; if we weren't careful he could've easily caught my heels. We were so close it would have been so nice if he had slid his hand up around my waist. Damn, work politics.

Yes, I realize this could all be in my head. Just humor me for a little while. I do recognize that the way I'm writing this post makes it seem like I haven't had any male attention in 2 years and not 2 weeks.

It just wasn't my night. I looked like an even bigger ditz when we regrouped and I had lost my whole 20 dollars on the slots. I had nothing to show. Luckily, no one else seemed to fare much better. Apparently the boys had been doing well at the start, but then lost it all in the end.

Clearly we didn't win the casino challenge. He invited me for a drink to drown the sorrows of our loss. Regretfully my ride was ready to call it a night. Now it's going to probably be another year before I see him again. *sigh*

2007-01-20T14:49:00.000-07:00

Salsation!

My crew of future salsa fiends has expanded to a group of three! Now we have 2 salseras and uno salsero!

Yuppers, Flag Girl, Civic and I have taken up another salsa course. I know Flag Girl already caught the bug during the last course but hopefully now that we have a guy to practice with we can move on from the beginner level and on to new and sassier things!

Last week was the salsa drop-in class and it was so nice to be back in the studio regardless of the redundancy of the material being taught. This way Civic could give it a try without really committing to anything though I figured he wouldn't bow out. I miss all the other dancers and our fabulous instructor...just that whole salsa vibe going on. It was so great to be there once again.

Unfortunately, this time around I don't get my favorite instructor, but the lady instructor is just as good...it just takes a minute to get used to different teaching styles. And grandpa salsa was back to help out! Dare I boast but during practice time after the lesson he took me for a spin around the floor and, minus a few slip ups (still struggling to "follow" and not "lead," haha) I didn't miss a beat with him! Not to mention the studio was starting to fill up fast with the drop-in students...so I felt like a bit of a showoff. But, man, did I feel great! "Look what I can do!"

2007-01-18T23:25:00.000-07:00

Jumpstart

I'm hoping to get more blogness going on in here. I do miss writing.

The past two nights I spent moonwalking through my blog. I was notified of a new comment but could not see where it was posted. So, me being the overly curious sort went on a thorough search for it. I reversed myself all the way to September 2002 and did not find it anywhere.

And then lo and behold it was on my very latest post. Go figure. :)

But it did get me reminiscing a lot. A lot has happened in the years I've had Bellini-induced Brain Freeze. It makes me feel good that, although my life isn't quite where I expected it to be by this point (ie. travelling, children, etc.) I have still accumulated my fair share of stories.

My writing is a lot more stilted now than it used to be and that saddens me. Yes, my stories were verbose but I felt they represented me a whole lot better than the shorter memos I've been posting. I'd really like to change that. That, and I miss all the commentary everyone had with one another's blogs back in the day. So that got me screening through my blogroll to see who is still around. Alas, a lot of the "regulars" have closed up shop. Everyone has varying levels of living to do.

So here's to a rejuvenation of my beloved blog. Time to build it up, build it up, and build it up again.

2006-12-30T22:57:00.000-07:00

Out with the old, in with the new

Don't get me wrong! I cannot possibly complain about 2006. 2006 was amazing, fantastic. Health and happiness: the two things we predictably wish upon everyone every year...well, this year was full of all that.

Two trips in one year! I hope I can keep that up. :) New babies all around me. Everyone is getting better job opportunities. Everyone has been healthy. Of course, there are always things that could be better but I'm not going to be ungrateful for everything we've had this year.

Here's hoping we all have an even better 2007!

PS: Yes, I'm home on a Saturday night. No, I'm not sick but I am exhausted. I even had a nap this afternoon! Holiday time with the familia is like one crazy marathon.

2006-12-13T23:40:00.000-07:00

"...would you run to me if somebody hurt you...

"...even if that somebody was me?" (I hope I did well by Mrs S with, hopefully, the proper use of grammar and punctuation in there.)

So that's a line from a song for you. TLC, Prince, take your pick. Just smile and nod if you don't follow me...the line goes along with today's topic of discussion. At least in my Leah-world it does.

I do not understand people who make someone their entire world. One. Person. They just latch on and make the other person into their life. They're joined at the hip forever and ever, amen. Or at least until something awful tears them apart.

Maybe I never will understand it. Am I missing some romantic fairytale element in my DNA? Am I, as Daisy is prone to describing herself, "the guy in the relationship?"

Once a guy tried to swoop in and infiltrate my circle of friends soon after I introduced him to the group. MY friends. I guess I'm not so good with sharing. Funny how that is, since I'm not an only child and all. Where were all of his friends that he was always talking about? Why couldn't he hang with them? Sure, I was glad he liked my friends so much...but I wasn't looking forward to keeping up with the new dynamic if he intended on being around me and my friends all the time. I couldn't be myself with my friends when he was around. We had to keep the conversation light and involve him...which meant we couldn't talk about people he didn't know without explaining the back-story, etc, etc. It was too exhausting and I just didn't want to put in the effort of having to keep him "in the loop."

"So what are we doing next Friday?" he would ask. "We" meaning me, my friends, AND him. I had to bite my lip. Noone in the group really said anything. Augh, why couldn't he go and make his own plans? Thankfully the subject was quickly switched up and we could avoid it for another week.

He was clearly one of those who needs to have a somebody in their life. I was just in denial about how dire his neediness was. When I didn't jump at the chance to be his mother he tried going after my coworker. When she didn't take the bait and after he had met my friends he tried going after one of my closest pals. And when her loyalties and lack of interest conflicted with his neediness he went after yet another girl I knew. Luckily for him, his search for a (s)mother was thus ended.

Another guy, who was having a rough go at it for a while, made an off-the-cuff comment about how things would be better for everyone if him and I could just get a place together.

"Pardon me?" I acted like I hadn't heard him. I had just started seeing this guy! Uh, sorry, but I'm not about to uproot my whole life based on a good feeling I have had after a few dates! Forget uprooting. I'm rooted. Fine, I still live at home. But I cannot imagine being happier anywhere else right now. And as for him, great guy and everything that he was, but I was not going to chance moving out on a whim only to have to come home with my tail between my legs. As my mom has always told me: "once you're out of the house, you're out of the house." It's not a threat, of course. They just want me to make sure I know what I'm doing.

But on a side note: what's with these guys who think you're officially a couple right out of the starting gates (AKA the first date)? After comparing notes, there seem to be more than just a few of them. And they say us girls are the ones who are itching for a commitment!

Anyway, long digression. Rewind: I do not understand people who make one person their entire world. Even when I get married, my family and friends are always going to be there with me. It's like a package deal, really. For some, I have noticed, once they are paired off the rest of the world seems to go "poof!" He has no time for his friends. She has no time for her friends. And they're more than content just holing up in their own little world together. It's that whole sentiment about your lover being your best friend. All bundled up nicely in one person. But we can have more than one best friend, right? I would hope that I don't lose my friends just because I've met somebody. Civic says it's only natural that we'll all be seeing less of one another when we've got significant others. But I don't really think we'd all stop getting together completely.

For one thing, if I was ever forced to make one guy my entire world, he might just die. Not from the huge responsibility, but because I would kill him some way or another.

As TLC and Prince have asked: would I run to him for consolation if he was the one who hurt me? I don't normally get hurt. I get mad. If I didn't have other people to turn to to cool me down and help me think things through...that'd be pretty bad.

If he was the only person in the world who could comfort me I'd feel pretty much alone if he hurt me. So much for the love-of-your-life concept. Why would I even bank on one person for all of that anyway? So I tend to overprotect myself. "Take risks," people say. Well, sorry if I make sure to plan for the worst case scenario. The risks I take are calculated ones. I don't leave myself vulnerable.

"Dance as if noone is looking, and love like you'll never get hurt." I've always loved saying that. I know I've twisted the actual meaning around to suit my needs -- the way I tend to love is SO I'll never get hurt -- but I'm not just protecting myself. I do what I do so that my loved ones won't get hurt, either. I'm protecting the ones I already love and those who love me back. I don't want my parents worrying about me, and I don't want my brother to ever feel like he has to protect me or rescue me from a mess I have fallen into. When they have a bad vibe about someone I'm seeing I take it to heart. They have always been dead on about these guys.

My friends and I used to laugh at my dad's way of handling "the talk" with me. It's all in the way he says it. "You know what you're doing, right?" But thanks to him and my mom, I think I've got a pretty good handle on things.

2006-12-11T19:49:00.000-07:00

Nice job if you can get it...

I did quite a bit of my Christmas shopping online this year. And if I didn't do it online, you can bet I went on a weekday off to a lesser-shopped mall. Every year it gets worse; they don't have the size/color you're looking for, there are lineups as far as the eye can see, your arms ache from carrying all your bags, your patience wears thin trying to maneuver around the crowds. And to top it off this year, there is barely any staff.

To be more specific, there is barely any knowledgeable staff who are willing to help.

I mean, why should they inconvenience themselves by offering to help you? The city is so crazed for workers that A&W is offering workers twice what I made in my first job for flipping burgers! You can earn a good dime just standing around filling out a company's payroll.

All the little slights add up. After paying for her purchase, the sales clerk walked away from the till and left my mom to reach over the counter and grab her purchase. At another store, the lady in front of me in line had to reach for her purchase as well since the cashier was too busy chatting with his school friend who had come to visit. He did not even bid her "goodbye" or thank her for her patronage and, in turn, did not even greet me "hello" as he started to ring through my items. I'll admit, I used to think those self-checkout counters were a horrible and impersonal concept...but if this is the kind of service I can start to expect in the future then I have no trouble ringing through my purchase myself.

My brother, though he only works the odd day to help his friends out, could tell you a million stories of useless and clueless staff. Just like in retail, some of these workers could use a scholarship to charm school.

One day I had ordered a snack from New York Fries. The clerk slapped my poutine on my tray and trotted to the back. Never mind that she had made a mess splattering the gravy everywhere when she dropped my food down.

At times you have to wait forever and a day before the sales associates acknowledge that you would like a fitting room to try something on...or worse yet, that you're ready to actually buy something.

The other day a trainee showed me to my change room and left me be. This in itself was fine, at least I got into a fitting room. It was afterwards when I was paying for my top and she raved to her new manager "it looked amazing on her!" that I wanted to pipe up and keep her honest. I wish I had said something snarky like "you mean you could actually SEE me in the fitting room?! That's really creepy!" Instead I kept my mouth shut, it would have taken more of my time than I was willing to spend in the store just to set things straight.

And that makes me part of the problem right there. These people don't care about their job since, even if they are let go from their present one, they can easily nab another job elsewhere. Even if you make a comment to the management, chances are they will hesitate to fire bunk employees since it's so difficult to keep employees around in the first place.

But there's always hope, right?

The other day they finally fired a sales associate who had been dead wood since she was hired as Christmas help 2 years ago. Great lady (and note I said "lady," we're not even talking about the stereotypical lazy teen here) but horrible employee. It's inevitable to hurt staff motivation when you bust your butt to represent your company well and to the best of your abilities while another employee slacks off and gets paid just as well. This woman would shop around during her shift, so much so that they would chronically page her over the system since she was always missing from her department. I wish they'd pay ME to shop! That's essentially what she has done for ever and ever. And she gets a staff discount to boot!

With each passing day that she was employed the more the rest of us sales associates would get miffed. It may not be the most glamorous job but at least we took our work seriously. I may not have been a stellar sales associate at times but I still did my job.

Don't get me wrong, we weren't being malicious in our relief to hear that she was finally gone...she just didn't fit in with the team we had going. More to the point, she never tried to fit in with the team. I don't think anyone should feel bad for her, I'm sure she didn't let it faze her much.

For all we know she's probably got a new job working for our competitors already.

2006-12-10T22:39:00.000-07:00

sigh

So this morning the Usual Suspects, Weird Kid's crew, and I went to various Sport Chek locations across the city to get our tickets for the New Year's Eve game. Or so I thought. I would have never guessed that I would be denied. Weird Kid and friends have had such great success nabbing tickets for all the other games we've attended. Heck, I had tickets given to me for Christmas at the office Christmas party.

Whodathunk I would not be going to the NYE game. I was so picturing myself at that game with all my friends and family, the thought of not being in the Saddledome on that evening was a faraway joke.

Latina and I lined up half an hour before store opening and were 4 people away from getting tickets. Weird Kid and friends chose a Sport Chek with the shortest line and had the tickets run out one person ahead of them in line. Civic got to his store shortly after they opened and they were already sold out. Apparently people had started lining up since 6 in the morning.

At least I can console myself with the game this coming Tuesday. I also have to exchange my Iginla Christmas ornament. I brought him home, ready to hang it on the tree, and his hockey stick came out of the box in two pieces! Boooo.

Today was also the annual brunch with the Usual Suspects. Soooo full. Still. Seriously.

Friday was a successful shopping day. After work I had to wait for Civic and Daisy to get their stuff together so I killed time at one of my secret weapon shopping malls. There was a top I had seen at another store and of course they did not have my size left. My secret shopping mall did not disappoint me. I also, on a whim, went looking for a pair of shoes that I had seen in a magazine. Again my mall did not fail me. I am going to be soo adorable this Christmas!

Saturday was the birthday dinner of a little cousin. Alas, due to work I was not able to make it in time. So I ended up going out for dinner with Latina and then I came home, watched the rest of the game, slapped on some of my fave Christmas CDs, and set about doing some wrapping. Only way I could have made it any better would have been some yummy hot cocoa with macadamia nut liqueur. Mmm.

Alright, I actually had some thoughts I wanted to bounce off on here but this post is pretty much all fluff. Remind me to get back to it at another time. :)

2006-12-06T22:13:00.000-07:00

On the Map

Slowly (but hopefully surely...?) I'm getting back into the blogging swing of things. Latest tweak, obviously, is my new travel map. Not done "dotting" everything, but clearly most of my travelling has been to North America thus far.

And it's beginning to look a LOT like Christmas...

2006-12-03T18:03:00.000-07:00

Bringing you up to speed

Though really it's for my own recollection more than anything. :)

Ang and her man got married!

baby sis is now considered an adult all across the globe!

Daisy dragged me to a Ben Lee show and in my own state of disbelief I stood behind a pillar all night staring at my hand (which looked gorgeous and slim that night, by the way, I can't explain it) Another girl who got dragged to the show was kind enough to ask if I was ok. After some fun compassionate conversation (she was invited to the show by a couple of Australian guys, though she paid for her own ticket...at least I was in there gratis courtesy of Daisy) it turns out she thought I was high yet miserable. :) That became the dawn of the blee-show.

During Flag-girl's birthday we met some British and Welsh guys. I thought they worked at a cannery. Consensus was they were in the British army. Daisy, knowing her, went and had a good snog with one of them and as fate would have it, so did I. Craziest thing: after much deliberation I'd have to say he was one of the best kissers I've ever had. That doesn't mean I'm all ga-ga over them now a la Daisy.

I attended at 25-and-over Halloween club crawl with Daisy and Flag Girl. So much better than those with the can't-hold-their-liquor-newly-legal young'uns. It was great being with those our age who still like to go out and have fun!

I went to Puerto Plata and Sosua in the Dominican Republic for a week. So hot! Hot guys, too. I, uh, ended up making out with one at Mangu. Not a great kisser by any stretch, but the way those guys move on the dance floor makes everything seem so promising. :( Mangu was also the kind of club I wish we had more of around here. Class class clas, but still a crazy party. You know it's a great party when you've got an amazon drag queen (a dragazon, if you will) and a half naked vertically challenged young man dancing around in cages? I found some new drinks to enjoy: Cuba Libres and Banana Mamas. And Presidente beer is great, too! I also did some boogie boarding properly. Glad we sorted that out, boogie boarding in Waikiki didn't leave me with much understanding of what the big deal was. Ooh! AND there was a French pirate at our resort plus I got to travel in Club Class coming home! Life is so amazing to me. :)

The Phenoms keep winning!

And I've been to two Flames games so far. Me! The girl who had never had the opportunity to attend any games in her life! And we're going to one this week, next week, AND the big Battle on New Year's Eve! I can't believe my luck. :)

Even though it's ridiculously cold these days, I recently just received some of the cutest boots ever. Winter can bring it. I'll still be my cute little self.

2006-11-28T22:35:00.000-07:00

Aloha Hawaii

Geez, I really need to get this done and done. So much else has happened since then and I have not bothered blogging it!

August 5th, 2006

So the time had come for us to finally bid Hawaii a fond "Aloha."

Get up, get sorted, get breakfast. Jack-In-The-Box is your friend early in the morning and you don't have the time for a sit down meal at Denny's/IHOP.

Over brekkie we got to discussing where we figured our transfers would come and pick us up. Earlier, they had dropped us off on the side, but would they pick us up at the front since it was more prominent?

Luckily our driver came looking for us at the front desk as we were checking out (a tad late, oops) For future reference, if you stay at the Ohana Waikiki West and you take your transfers with Aloha VIP you'll be picked up at the side of the hotel. Pretty specific nugget of info, but there you go.

First off was our interisland Aloha flight back to Kahului with their yummy guava punch. :) When we checked in they let us know that there was room on the earlier flight out if we were interested. Our layover in Kahului was a good enough stretch so we didn't bother taking them up on the offer. (Little did I know that Aloha was so punctual and efficient. If that had been the case I would have booked us a later flight out of Honolulu...but best not to chance fate. Sure I had bought cancellation and interruption insurance, but it would not have covered me if I was stupid enough to book two separate tickets without planning for the odd chance that the first flight on the journey would be delayed.)

As luck would have it, the Harmony desk was open already when we arrived. They were open early. Whodathunkit in this day and age of air travel? So that saved us the huge issue of lugging our baggage around for an hour or two before our flight. Which also meant that we were now more mobile to navigate the little shops, uh oh. :)

Surprisingly, I didn't buy much else except for some Plumeria and White Ginger perfumes. My carry-on was killing me already as it was. (Note: Don't forget that this was before the London scare resulting in us no longer being able to carry liquids, gels, or creams in our carry-on luggage. As it was on my flight home from Hawaii I was lugging three bottles of Kahana Royale Macadamia Nut Liquer -- one big bottle, two slightly smaller -- around the airport in my carry-on since I did not want them breaking in my suitcase. HEAVY!)

Waiting around we had some Starbucks Frappaccinos. For such a coffee addict I survived most of the trip with less than my normal consumption! And seeing that Kahului only has the one restaurant we were back there for lunch when we had been there for breakfast only a few days earlier. Not much to choose from, so cheeseburger and fries was our choice. No loco mocos but they did have saimin. Too bad saimin doesn't really call out to me.

Homebound on Harmony. I really love their flights. Daisy and I lucked out and got a row of 3 all to our twosome, giving us a bit more room. I gave aisle seating a shot (I'm a window girl usually) and it wasn't all that bad. I didn't get jostled about by people walking past and I never got bumped around by the service carts. If I had been on a tight charter flight, I'm sure it would have been a different story. They were offering "interlude" entertainment consoles for rent, $10, and so I decided I should give that a try. Neat idea but they're pretty inconsistent. Built like a laptop it offers you some sitcom episodes, movies, CDs, and games to keep you occupied on your flight. Mine had an alright assortment, whereas Daisy's was more limited. I got to watch The Perfect Man (haha) some episodes of Two and a Half Men, I listened to the soundtrack for Take The Lead, and I played some poker. Combine that with dinnertime and snacktime and I killed most of my flighttime. For all my worries that I'd be bored stiff sitting on a plane for a full work day with nothing to do I fared quite well. :)

Ah home. As we walked towards customs I saw a whole crew of soldier guys entering their gate to board their plane. Someone guessed they were headed to Afghanistan. :( Such cute guys going to such a dangerous place! *sigh* I can only imagine how their loved ones feel whenever they leave home. My brother has a friend who did his duty in Kandahar and the stories he shared while he was back made me wonder how they can stay sane out there.

Cleared customs. "You were a bit over on your alcohol allowance but I'll let it slide this time." Yowza. It would have sucked to lug those bottles all the way home only to have to pay duty on them.

As we waited for our luggage I turned on my phone and already there was a text message from Weird Kid. Him and baby sis were circling the airport until I let him know we were ready to come out. Aww, I missed them so much!

Our luggage came through without any problems and all that stood between us and our beds was the drive home. I think it was 1 or 1:30 by the time we were back in our respective houses. I would have loved to share more stories and pictures with my siblings but I had to get up early the next day. One of my little relatives was being Christened that morning and I had also RSVP'd to attend the brunch reception afterwards.

2006-10-12T15:19:00.000-06:00

Synchronize watches

Well, it’s taking me a loooong time, but I’m getting close to finishing this story. : )

August 4th, 2006

Free day, or free half-a-day. Civic had been texting me asking if I had “lost” Daisy yet. Nobody had banked on us being able to tolerate one another 24/7 for a whole week. And we weren’t splitting off to do our own things because we couldn’t stand each other anymore. Daisy was headed off to Hanauma Bay to go snorkeling, and I’m not a very strong swimmer so I passed on that. I needed to go shopping, and that wasn’t very high on Daisy’s list. So the plan was: have breakfast together, split off, and then reconvene in the afternoon to check out the huge Hilo Hattie store.

Oops, I must have been more exhausted than I thought. I somehow slept through Daisy’s alarm clock, beyond her trying to gently wake me up, and I did not even stir when she left. When I woke, there was a note on my pillow wishing me a good sleep and that she would meet me ~~in a few minutes~~ after lunch.

Wandering solo in Waikiki. It was bad enough I woke up late, so I picked up a coffee and a spam musubi from an ABC store across from the Galleria and that was breakfast. Being a nerd, I even took a picture of my musubi for my captured memories. Kona coffee and spam musubi, uber-Hawaiian breakfast.

I have never been to any DFS Gallerias ever, so this was my first experience with them. Though right from the get-go there were Japanese shoppers everywhere (of course, they were everywhere outside of the Galleria, too) I wandered around the ground floor, nothing too exciting down here…lots of souvenirs and that kind of thing. I went to take the escalator up and the escalator attendant (I kid you not) stopped me. He asked if I had an “international shopping card.” Apparently, if I did not have one then my Galleria shopping experience was limited to the first two floors. Amazed that I was being denied shopping I walked off in a daze. New goal in life to add to the list: attain international shopper status.

Walked by the Royal Hawaiian shopping centre and took a look at their store map. A lot of them were stores available at Galleria though I had permission to walk into these stores. Side note: there were 4 LeSportSac stores within a one-block radius. Either the Japanese really love their LeSportSac or these stores don’t know how to space themselves properly. I wonder how big of a difference there is between the “common” stores and their Galleria counterparts? I didn’t have the patience to try and find out.

Stepped into Stupid Factory and finally picked up some David & Goliath. I had been eyeing them ever since Lahaina and I figured I’d hemmed and hawed long enough. We sell David & Goliath here in Calgary, but never had I seen so many stores dedicated solely to the brand. It’s such a teenybopper kind of thing, but I just thought the shirts I bought were cute.

At a loss for where to shop next I wandered the International Marketplace again. Don’t get me wrong, I had not exhausted all the stores in Waikiki. I think I was just so overwhelmed by all the stores around me that I had no clue what to do with myself. At the marketplace I found a mu’u mu’u for my grandma and some other souvenirs for friends and family. I also had to find an ABC store that had the “bundles” I had seen in Lahaina. So after the Marketplace I wandered into every ABC store around my hotel (time was nearing meeting up with Daisy) looking for those precious bundles. I ended up wandering into Food Pantry to see what they had there when Civic texted me again. And all of a sudden I was extremely homesick. : ( Good thing there was less than 24 hours left before I headed home. Long slew of text messages back and forth. It would have been cool if Weird Kid or Civic had been there with me, I had nobody to conspire with re: Waikiki’s crazy Asian-osity.

I picked up a Beard Papa cream puff (Coffee: the flavor of the day) and meandered back to the hotel. It was almost noon, and although I didn’t think Daisy would be back so soon I really couldn’t think of anywhere else I wanted to shop – you know Leah’s exhausted when…-- so I hung out in our room. Finally finished my pineapple that we had bought at the Helemano Plantation and hung out on our lanai for a little while. What a difference between Waikiki and Lahaina. It’s hard to imagine you’re in paradise when your view is filled with highrise buildings and the sounds that greet your ears are full of traffic. I even watched a bit of the brain-wash TV again. I don’t know why I bothered. And the cream puff was soooo good. Did it make up for the fact that we never made it to Leonard’s Bakery to try the famed malasadas? I wouldn’t know, but it’s always good to save some experiences for next time.

Daisy arrived and let me know it was a good thing I had not gone snorkeling with her. They are not joking when they warn you about the strong currents, apparently. The fish were used to visitors and one even spooked her by popping up out of nowhere. She sorted herself out and away we went to the big Hilo Hattie store.

Thank goodness they offer a complimentary trolley to get to the big store. I had no idea where we were by the time they dropped us off. More yummy guava punch and we got to see the world’s largest Aloha shirt. (Pictures available someday. I just don’t want everyone to see them online before I get them scrapbooked) I picked up some coconut syrup for friends back home, and pancake mixes the likes of which we had never seen in Calgary. Can you imagine if they offered taro pancakes and coconut macadamia nut pancakes at our Stampede breakfasts? Feedback: the coconut syrup tastes great, although if you have a dirty mind the consistency and color of it all makes the syrup highly questionable. Apparently, this had not crossed Daisy’s angelic conscience when she tried the stuff at breakfast in Lahaina.

We were unbelievably efficient. After Hilo Hattie we decided to have lunch (we were starving by this time) and try our luck at catching the Na Hoku II catamaran for their sunset AKA booze cruise.

Helloooo Ono Philly Cheese Steak! (How I miss you so!)

Daisy finally had her Jamba Juice. Never a day passed when she would not declare her love of the stuff whenever we saw the joint.

Alright, bellies sated. It’s never a great idea to drink on an empty tummy. : ) Now we just had to hit the beach, relax, and wait for the Na Hoku II to appear.

Well, we saw it appear, only to be told that the sunset cruise was cancelled due to choppy waters. Again denied! One more for my list of to-do-next-time. Oh well, more beach time before we say goodbye. I don’t know what it is about the beach, it’s not like you’re doing anything remotely exciting, but it’s still a lot of fun.

Except for the sand-cling situation. Not a big fan of sand-cling. Oy vey, I “imported” so much sand back to Calgary in my rolled up beachmat. Ridiculousness.

After we parted ways with the Pacific we headed back to our hotel to get cleaned up and enjoy our last night in Waikiki properly. Our leis (which Daisy attended to so lovingly day after day in the fridge) were getting pretty bedraggled. Note to everyone: always listen to everyone who tells you to just wear your lei non-stop the day you get it and enjoy it for those moments. There is no sense trying to “preserve” them. So to do our leis right we wore them out for the evening.

Enh, Waikiki/Honolulu is a city. There’s nothing you can do about that. So shopping and dining are everywhere. We finally set foot in Fashion Fever, a chain big around there which is quite similar to Sirens here in Calgary. Cute stuff, but I did not come to Hawaii to buy “regular” things so I left without any purchases. Daisy tried on a tube top! I bet our friends would never believe that. I guess Hawaii really does something to one’s inhibitions.

After that we were starved once again. Big Kahuna advertised Loco Moco in their window, and I knew I had to have something authentically Hawaiian for my last dinner on the island. Big Kahuna was kind of pub-ish, and they were setting up a DJ table for the night as we had our dinner. The bathroom had an attendant, which was kind of odd for such an establishment, but whatever. The crowd really wasn’t our thing, though, so we left once we cleared our bill.

We finally found Moose McGillicuddy’s, but the lineup was kind of a turn off. I know I know, if I had really wanted in I would beared the line. I guess I just didn’t want to spend my last evening en queue. But there was something else we had to try anyway: the Sunset Pink beer at the Royal Hawaiian hotel.

The Royal Hawaiian is the only pink hotel/landmark on Waikiki beach. There is no way you could miss it. Swanky, too, but I suppose that’s what makes it royal. The hotel is so grand it took us a while to figure out how to get to the Sunset Lounge. Not only that but there was thumping music going on in the opposite direction from the lounge. Apparently it was a private function, but oh, to be at that party! It sounded like a blast! They were on the beach underneath big tents with lights flashing and good music pumping. *pouts* I wanted to be at the beach party.

Sunset Pink beer is good. I wouldn’t say it’s my favorite, but hey, I love pink. We had a lovely table right by the beach and we sipped our beer while we watched the dark waves roll in. The moon was exquisite, too. And yet, the ocean looks like a terrifying place to get lost in the dark. I guess I have not overcome my anxieties about the “never-ending” ocean yet. Baby steps. At least I swam and “surfed” in the ocean.

The music was long gone and the lounge was closing for the night. All of a sudden I had the idea that we should leave our leis with Duke. So we paid our server and made a leisurely stop to the bathroom in the lobby. Yup, swanky place through and through. Strolled down Kalakaua Ave for our final goodbye to Duke.

I’m such a good shot, I got my lei on Duke’s arm in one toss. Daisy on the other hand…. It was amusing, let’s just put it that way. In the end, she simply laid the lei at his feet.

I’m sure anyone watching the webcam during those moments was laughing just as hard as I did.

On our way back to our hotel we came across a tall blonde cougar-y woman with a young Japanese tourist. First thing that came to mind, unfortunately: prostitute. The fact that she said she liked him and that he was “not too young” only made me even more convinced of the matter. I watched as she firmly took hold of his hand and led him away while he hesitantly followed along. The poor little tourist-guy! He looked so helpless and uncomfortable I wanted to save him. But how do you save someone from a situation like that? Last thing I wanted to do was get into a catfight with a hooker, or worse yet her pimp, for screwing up a deal. Yes, I’m sure my family would just love to hear about that one. “Leah can’t come home today. She got into an altercation with a prostitute late last night. No, I don’t know what she was thinking. What possessed her to make such a dumb move on her last night on holidays?”

So I just turned a blind eye. I hope the little guy turned out ok.

One more quick shop at a nearby ABC Store.

There we saw a young lady dressed like she was going to the clubs. She brought up a Starbucks bottled Iced Frappaccino to the older gentleman already paying for condoms at the till. First thing that came to mind: another prostitute! How did we not see them during our entire stay? Now they seemed to be everywhere Maybe it was a Friday night sort of thing.

So after we paid for our purchases we trailed her down the block. Not because we wanted to follow her, mind you, but simply ‘cuz we were headed the same way. *shudders* The older gentleman was gone. Was he her pimp? I thought he was a client. Guess he didn’t like the price or something. We watched as she approached another gentleman by the Burger King. Short talk, no deal. Then we lost her as she turned the corner. But as we got closer to the intersection she was headed back in our direction with another guy. And if I had had any doubts about her they were quashed when I heard her say “I don’t discuss that here, we’ll talk about that later.” So yeah, in a span of two blocks, this girl had approached 3 guys. Talk about a fast sales approach. I wonder if she was working with the blonde cougar.

Back in the safety and quiet of the hotel room we did all the last minute packing we could and set our alarm. Another early morning, but we were headed home. : (

2006-08-25T00:20:00.000-06:00

Honor and Family

August 3, 2006

Waikiki travel tip: If you’re interested in seeing Pearl Harbor DO go as early as you can. We had read this piece of advice in several sources and only in one guidebook did it actually suggest that wait times may be shorter in the afternoon. Trust us, even if you show up at 11:30AM, note that it’s not even afternoon yet, you will be TOO late to catch a tour. This is just based on personal experience.

But don’t you worry your pretty little heads, we woke up at 5 so we would be ready for TheBus that would get us to Pearl Harbor a couple of minutes after 7:30 (when the visitor centre opens). We actually had a sit-down breakfast, which caused us to catch TheBus later than planned, so we got there at 8 instead. The line did not seem too long, it coiled around once on itself on the lawn. It was I would say 8:45 by the time we got into the centre and were handed our tour tickets. We would be on tour 11, 10:15am. This gave us plenty of time to take the audio tour through the museum before our boat to the USS Arizona Memorial.

I must admit, though I love the uniforms, that I’m not much for absorbing a lot of war knowledge. I really wished my dad was there with me, he would have loved it…I hope I’ll get to take him next time I’m there. They had a survivor from the USS Arizona sitting by the gift shop and a lot of people were sitting with him for a picture and asking him to sign reprints of the old newspaper headlines. It was really nice to see so many people giving him such great respect and actually thanking him for helping in the war. As much as I would have liked to say something, I was at a loss for words and felt like I would be sort of phoney since it wasn’t my country that he had fought for and the like. Nevertheless, I was happy that he was being honored so well.

The museum has some old letters from the sailors to their parents and pictures of their extra-curricular activities. Apparently the Arizona had a really good military band and they used to have friendly competitions against other crews. There was also a big model of the Arizona as well as one of the Japanese aircraft carriers which were advanced for their time. You could also see a recovered torpedo in it’s shockingly twisted state. One thing that stuck out in my mind, and I’m not even sure why, is how the Japanese adapted this new torpedo from an Italian one. It was surrounded by wood that would break off once it hit the water, breaking its dive into the water. This way the torpedo was ready for attack from a shorter distance since it would dive only 20ft into the water whereas the old ones dove 100ft and then had to work back up to the surface from that depth. When I was later trying to impress my dad with what I had learned, I blondely called them missiles. So much for impressing him; right off the bat I didn’t even use the correct equipment terminology. ? FYI: Apparently missiles did not even exist back in WWII. And that’s how I learned that what I actually saw was a torpedo, and not a missile. And now I know thanks to my daddy. Told you he should have been there with me.

Also in the museum is a miniature setup of the memorial so you can see how it is placed over the USS Arizona and what parts of the ship are still visible above the water. They also have this miniature setup on the memorial for referencing what you are seeing out there.

Before boarding the boat they have a short film about Pearl Harbor. I’m ashamed to say that despite the shortness of the movie I was nodding off in the dark. The jam-packed days of sightseeing were definitely wearing me out. The boat is manned by Navy people! Yay for more cute uniforms! Unfortunately, my boat ride back was driven by lady Navy people, but that’s ok.

It is a little eerie to think that so many men are entombed (I heard another person say “trapped”) beneath where you stand on the memorial. I tried to catch a glimpse, and hopefully a picture, of the drops of oil that still rise to the surface. They say 4-5 quarts of oil still seep to the surface daily. Some people refer to them as the “black tears” of the fallen, waiting for the day that the rest of their surviving crew members return to the Arizona so their remains may rest with their colleagues. And there is a portal, apparently, where the survivors’ remains can be lowered into the ship with the rest after their passing.

Once we got back to the visitor centre we finished what we had left of our audio tour and went to catch TheBus back to Waikiki. We left at 11:45 and there was no longer any lineup at the front, they were all out of tour tickets to hand out. Wow, the tours run every 15 minutes until the last one at 3pm and they were already full for the day. I was so glad that we went right away in the morning.

Originally I had wanted to go visit Punchbowl Crater and the National Cemetary but the beach was calling out to me (it was one of the hotter days we experienced while we were there) so I opted for some beachtime before our next engagement instead of further sightseeing. I’m sure I’ll be back, I had to cut out quite a few things I wanted to see…it gives me all the more reason to return.

Yes, Waikiki Beach. Leah the beach bunny, loving it. In the future it would be nice to go in a larger group than 2 people. That way there’s someone to play with in the water. While we were there we had to take turns watching our gear and then enjoying the ocean.

On the walk back to our hotel we talked about how none of our friends would ever believe that Daisy was wandering around Hawaii in tank tops (she does not like showing her arms for some boil-to-death reason) and that I was walking here and there in a bikini top. It is undoubtedly casual all around, people walk everywhere in a swimsuit and no one questions it. And just as Nat made that observation about the dress code, as if to prove her point, my towel fell from around my waist. After that I couldn’t be bothered tying it back on so I walked the rest of the way (it wasn’t long) through the hotel onto the elevator.

After that we had to prettify ourselves for the evening. We were finally going to attend a luau! Germaine’s Luau, to be more specific. I had heard people grumble about how it’s in the middle of an industrial area blah blah blah. Let me tell you, we still had a blast. There was still a beach and ocean right by the luau site, so it’s not as if you were surrounded by industrial buildings all around. Daisy was able to take a picture of an amazing sunset while I kept our place in line for our food. I finally got to try kalua pork (that’s the pig they roast underground all day. It is soooo fantastic.) and mahi mahi (fish), poi (taro paste), long rice (short glass noodles), and haupia (a coconut dessert). There was so much food, even if you only took a little bit of everything onto your tray (yes, it’s more of a tray than it is a plate) it was still more than enough food. I felt pretty bad that I did not finish it all, but it looked to me as if noone was able to finish their trays. So much for a buffet, I would have been in shock if anyone went up for seconds! They heap so much kalua pork onto your plate after you’ve already loaded it with the rest that it’s unmanageable.

And if you can believe it, Daisy and I -- the two singletons who still like to go out and drink, only managed to get two of our three drinks for the night. I didn’t want to get up halfway through the performances to go grab my third drink.

Sure the performance was a bit kitschy, but that’s what tourists come to see. I’d like to learn the hula someday. I’m all about cultural dances.

Once our tour bus dropped us back off in Waikiki we still weren’t ready to call it a night. Might as well fit in a Hawaiian clubbing experience. I changed out of my dress as I did not want to get it all smoky. I didn’t really bring any club clothes so I just put on my denim shorts and a racer back tank. I wasn’t sure about the dress code at Zanzabar and Fashion 45 but surely we would be able to find somewhere to dance. When we walked by Scruples there was a lot of hooting coming from inside. A banner above the door let us know that Thursdays were their famous bikini contests….so obviously we passed on that.

A couple of nights before I had noted that there were at least two clubs along Kalakaua Ave. One was at the Hyatt Regency and the other was a few blocks down. We could not find that other one at all, and I was a bit concerned about a club at a Hyatt having some sort of dress code as well. Turns out it was no problem since the bouncer even solicited us to join in the fun downstairs, we didn’t even have to pay cover. For future reference, the club was called Deep Blue. I hope it was just ‘cuz we were there on a Thursday but we soon learned why the guy waived our cover charge. The place was dead. I’d say there were 10 people in the joint, at the most. Four of the said 10 people were on the floor dancing really lamely. The server asked us what we were having to drink and Daisy, wanting to experience more of the local brews, asked for a Long Board Lager which they did not have. We may as well have been in a club back home ‘cuz we ended up drinking Coronas. We sat at our table drinking and taking in what there was to take in of the place (it IS a nice setup, it was just dead dead dead that night) and I amused myself with the foursome on the dance floor. Finishing our drinks we were at a loss as to what to do next so I told Daisy “If they play Promiscuous Girl, we’ll dance, and then we can go somewhere else or something.” I could not have set it up better ‘cuz, lo and behold, the beginning beats of “my song” came on and I gleefully dragged Daisy to the dance floor. After the song had ended a remix of Shakira’s Hips Don’t Lie came on and we danced to that. I can’t remember if we danced to the song after that, but at any rate we soon just grabbed our purses and left. And as if we needed any further proof that it was slow down there: the bouncer was no longer anywhere in sight. It wasn’t even midnight, yet. Back home things would just be getting busy at about that time.

At that point we figured there wouldn’t be anything significantly better in the general area. I had heard things about Moose McGillicuddy’s, but I was not quite sure where to find it). We ended the evening the way we did most of our evenings in Waikiki, just walking around amongst the other vacationers/partiers. The next morning was going to be our “free day” but that did not necessarily mean we wouldn’t need our energy…so it was back to our room for some rest.

2006-08-14T23:07:00.000-06:00

Tour of beauty

August 2, 2006

Today was our Grand Circle Isle tour. It’s really hard to convey through words everything we saw. I’m certain it will not sound like very much, even looking at my pictures they do not look like a whole lot, but I have lots of memories and that’s all that matters.

First off, before our tour even started, we texted Civic and waved to him from the Duke Kahanamoku statue. The night before when we visited Duke a guy said that we were on the internet. I was glad that he explained himself since it sounded kind of sketchy his claim that I was on the ‘net. Turns out there’s a webcam that looks down on the statue 24 hours a day. So this morning we surprised Civic when we asked him to check out the statue and he found us standing there. Heehee.

Our first picture stop was at Hanauma Bay. Despite all their warnings about protecting the reef (Daisy went back to snorkel there on a later day, they make you watch a video about the reef before you enter the water) the place is full of sunbathers and swimmers. Not only that but you can see the bald patches at the bottom of the bay where people have stepped on and killed the reef. Irregardless, the bay was gorgeous. Elvis filmed Blue Hawaii there. Apparently, the currents are pretty strong. One current is even called the Molokai Express, from what I’ve read, because it can honestly drag you out to the island of Molokai. Definitely not a place for a rookie swimmer like myself.

After Hanauma Bay we stopped at the Halona Blowhole and drove through the town of Waimanalo. Waimanalo has a gorgeous beach, but not many tourists head up there. It’s a community built exclusively for Hawaiians. Apparently you have to be at least 50% Hawaiian to have a house there, and you apply to the government for a house. Once you’re approved they “rent” the house to you, or something like that, for a dollar a year to a max of 99 years. So most Hawaiians just cut the government a cheque for 99 dollars, I hear, and then they are able to pass on the house to their kids, at the very least. It reminded me of the First Nations reserves we have around here, though just from our drive through the town the Hawaiians seem more put together. It’d be nice to live in Waimanalo, though. I should find myself a Hawaiian guy. But it’s not like they have it easy, it’s really expensive to live in Hawaii.

Before that (everything is coming to mind out of order, now) they also drove us through the community of Ala Wai, if I remember correctly. This community has a hoity-toity golf course and uber-expensive houses. Of course, the more expensive ones are those that are ocean-front.

After the blowhole we drove through a teeny bit of rainforest and stopped at the Pali Lookout. It was really windy there, but I love those tradewinds. It makes the heat so much more bearable than when it’s hot here in Calgary. At Pali is the last standoff place where King Kamehameha earned the reign over all the Hawaiian islands.

Then we swung back through Honolulu and headed up through the coffee and taro fields to Helemano Plantation. Helemano is right beside the famous Dole Plantation. In fact, they share the same parking lot. This was where we had our lunch hour break. We did not do the touristy thing and ride the pineapple train and go through the maze at Dole. But in all honesty the massive gift shop was more than enough Dole-ness for me. I had a personal interest in Helemano after our tour guide spoke about it. (Actually, I had dozed off, and Daisy had to fill me in) They hire developmentally challenged adults to work for them, and so when you buy their pineapples or have your lunch at their cafeteria or restaurant you are supporting their living program. All I could think about was how my sister would probably go ga-ga working for them. She’s a pineapple addict, haha.

Dole Plantation is purely for the tourists now. They are halting their pineapple production, in Hawaii at least, and focusing on the more profitable crops of Kona coffee and macadamia nuts. We were even told that Del Monte had done the same. Not sure where all the pineapple garnishing our meals and drinks were coming from if Hawaii was weaning itself off of pineapple, but the future looks pineapple-less.

After lunch our tour continued on to the North Shore to see the famous Banzai Pipeline and Waimea Bay. The ocean was so calm up there, you would not believe for a minute that it was the locale of every surfer’s fantasy. Note to self: definitely have to return one winter to see the legendary waves. Seeing as the Pipeline was basically a non-event, I was glad that we took the tour through it instead of spending a whole day to check it out. There was honestly nothing much to note action-wise. My only regret? That the tour did not stop in Haleiwa on the way to North Shore. I’ve heard great things about that town. And I would have tried a shave ice at Matsumoto’s, for sure, just to say that I’ve had it.

Onward to La’ie to drive by the Mormon Temple and view the outside of the Polynesian Cultural Center. I hope that Daisy was not too disappointed that we did not check the place out, but I had heard that it was really kitschy and over-priced. After I came home, Spidermonkey told me that when he visited the Center in high school it was very obvious that it was run by the Mormon Church, with Elders all around to chat you up in between “villages.” While he was the only one to claim such an experience, I still did not feel comfortable, with me being Catholic and all, spending all that money and helping pay their tuitions at Brigham Young so I could be fed tales of Polynesian history with a Mormon twist.

From the Mormon Temple to a Buddhist Temple. Our next stop was the Byodo-In Temple. It was beautiful and serene. I rang the bell for luck. The bus drives through the cemetery heading in and out of the temple. For 12,000USD you can purchase a burial plot with an ocean view. Craziness.

One last stop before heading back to Waikiki: a farmer’s macadamia nut “stand”…if you could call it a stand. It was more like a big shack. He had Kona coffee for you while you looked around, there were macadamia nuts of all sorts of flavors that you could sample. Daisy and I developed a system: she opened the sample container and took a nut, I then took a nut and then closed the container. And this is how we operated all the way down the line. The Kona coated nuts were really good, as were the cinnamon-sugar nuts. Unfortunately, the long lines prevented us from buying any macadamia nuts before it was time again to board the bus.

From the road we could see Turtle Island (since it was shaped like a turtle), Rabbit Island (since it was overpopulated with rabbits), and Bird Island (overpopulated with birds). We also caught a glimpse of Gilligan’s Island, yours for 1,200,000USD. Yup, the owner was selling Gilligan’s Island. Not that there’s anything on it. You only saw the island on the intro to the show, after that it was all a studio backlot.

Back in Waikiki by mid-afternoon and it was time for me to shop. I had heard soooo much about Ala Moana Center that I was convinced it would be like my wildest shopping dreams come true. Maybe I hyped it up too much in my mind, or maybe I was just not in a shopping groove, but it did not take me long to have my fill of Ala Moana. I visited Hot Topic, they didn’t have any shirts I wanted. I was disappointed to find out that there are no Victoria’s Secret in Hawaii, did not find a Frederick’s of Hollywood. At Daisy’s request we stepped into Tiffany’s. My very first time at a Tiffany’s instead of looking at the website! I fell in love with the Frank Gehry jewelry designs…I’m too scared to even find out how much those cost. My first time in a Sephora, but since I’m not much of a makeup maven I didn’t find it all too inspiring, though it is a neat store. Walked through the Puma store and the Lacoste store….was very sad to confirm my fears that they no longer make Anjans. I’m going to be so choked when my Anjans bite the dust. They’re my trustiest shoes. Did not see much at Lacoste that made me stop and take note. Visited Hollister, but did not find the shirts and hoodies I was looking for. *sigh* Not a very fruitful shopping trip, I must admit. Had a bit of difficulty finding the Sanrio store (I got so turned around in there, usually I’m so good with maps!) but when I found it I was amazed at the Hello Kitty things they sell now. Stratocaster guitars, with matching Hello Kitty picks, and Hello Kitty skateboards?! I could only dream of seeing such Hello Kitty goodness in Calgary!

I finally spent some money at the Hilo Hattie store buying some gifts for my parents before the mall closed. This was also where we went to the McDonald’s at the mall to ask about taro pie and got the famous pidgin “taro pie is all over no more” response. “All over no more” became an ongoing phrase during our trip, a lot of sights and recommendations that many people gave us for our trip turned out to be “all over no more.” Among the things that were no more: a restaurant called Pieces of Eight, many of the bars on Lewers St., the Kodak/Pleasant Hawaiian Hula Show, and we were hard-pressed to find a real lunch-truck.

Seeing as it was now late by the time we got back into Waikiki we had dinner at Jack-In-The-Box. There were a couple of soldier guys there looking for girls to club with, but unfortunately they did not invite me : ( and I was not about to invite myself. Oh well.

After we dropped our shopping back in our room we headed back out to wander around. Daisy had another shave ice and I bought a Halo Halo at the International Marketplace. We saw another roach (dead, thank God) on the street. Picked up some more souvenirs from ABC Store (have I mentioned how I <3 ABC Store? ‘cuz I DO!) Then it was back to the room to get some sleep. We had a chance to slack off today since our tour started a little later than when we would usually head out, but the next day was going to be another early riser.

2006-08-10T23:35:00.000-06:00

Rise Up

August 1, 2006

This morning was our “welcome breakfast” put together by Aloha V.I.P. tours. Daisy was raring to get on with the rest of our day, and I did not blame her one bit, but this was just something I had to do so I would be able to let everyone back home know if it’s worth their while or not. (A few friends of the family are going to Honolulu in the next couple months. It’s like a Hawaiian revival amongst the social circle.) It was a little hokey as they placed fake flower leis around your neck as you pose for a picture in the hotel’s garden. Apparently they used to take your picture as soon as you deplaned with your real leis. But given that some tourists arrive late at night and look a bit haggard after their long flight the pictures would turn out a tad undesirable. Now they take it the morning after so that you are refreshed and looking your best. A phoney arrival photo, yours for 18 dollars! We passed. Yes, the breakfast did take a bit long (I think it was 2 hours) but at least you had a free meal, a little performance from some of the entertainers at the Polynesian Cultural Centre, and if you were so inclined you could take advantage of tour deals that were on offer that morning as well. We ended up purchasing our Grand Circle Isle tour through them as it was cheaper than at Outrigger Activities (and from my later observations they both send you on the tour with the exact same tour company). They weren’t kidding…it really does pay to shop around for your tours and activities. Another way to do it (though we really would not have had the patience to do such a thing) was to sit through a condo time-share presentation. We came across people who got free tickets to Germaine’s Luau (that’s an 80 dollars savings per person if you were to pay the actual admission) and drastic discounts on other attractions by simply giving up 3 or so hours of their vacation time. No thanks, but if you have the time to kill then knock yourself out. For some reason when we were in Maui the activities vendors had “we are not a time-share sale” printed in small font at the bottom of their sales boards. One would think that this should be a big feature that they should play up, but maybe there are regulations against that or something. Who knows?

After our breakfast we went back to our hotel to book the rest of our activities since we did not want to miss out on any of them. Soon after that we were on a TheBus to Iolani Palace!

Iolani Palace is the only royal palace that can be found on American soil. Unfortunately they do not allow photography inside but the things I saw will remain with me for a long time. To further preserve the palace they even give you cotton booties to wear over your shoes during the tour. We saw some of the art that the kings had collected during their reigns as well as the amazing details etched on the crystal doors and wood frames. They showed us the room where Queen Lili’uokulani was imprisoned in her own palace after the American government overthrew the monarchy. It really choked me up to hear about how she dealt with it so gracefully, but I guess what could she do on her own? If I remember correctly it was the first, or one of the first, buildings to be electrified in the United States. They may be a set of tiny islands but Hawaii definitely sounded attuned to technological advances back in the day. We got to see the throne room and the ball room. It was all amazing, and our docent, Hokulani, did a great job with the tour as she narrated it in a story sort of fashion like we were honored guests invited to one of the royal balls.

After Iolani Palace I had decided to swing by Chinatown since they were close together. We were a bit turned around though a nice local man showed us the way (“can’t you smell it from here?” he joked). It turns out we were only a few blocks away. Referring to our maps we headed for the Chinese Cultural Plaza, which in all honesty ended up not looking like much of anything. The Cultural Centre here in Calgary is more obvious and opulent. Although theirs had a really neat pedestrian mall alongside the canal where you could see all the elderly Chinese playing mah jong and cards. Reminded me quite a bit of my own family, haha. Further down the street where the rest of Chinatown lay there were a few lei shops (I love leis, they are so gorgeous!) and little hole-in-the-wall restaurants. Much like any other Chinatown, really, except for the lei shops.

Despite being in Chinatown we opted to get our lunch closer to where the bus stops would be. What did we end up with? Good ol’ KFC. We tried the “Famous Bowl.” We don’t have the Famous Bowl here in Canada. Mashed potatoes with some corn nibblets on the side, popcorn chicken, grated cheese, and gravy all on top. Served with a spork! We don’t have sporks in Canada! (Do I sound like a small town innocent, yet? Haha) I really wish we had the Famous Bowl here ‘cuz it was really good…and it didn’t taste like fast food at all, a shocker.

Waiting for our bus back to Waikiki we witnessed a tall drag queen arguing with a lady. I guess the lady did not approve of how the queen was leading his life and was pretty vocal about it. Again, I tell you these are the experiences you can not get when you sequester yourself in your own car.

Back in Waikiki we reapplied our sunscreen and prepped our water bottles back at the hotel. Our next adventure? Diamond Head!

Although we got back to Waikiki early in the afternoon for some reason we did not come across a bus to take us to Diamond Head for quite some time, though schedules read that they should come every 20 minutes. As a result we arrived at the base of the crater at 4:10. The park closed at 6. Crunch time.

As we cleared the other end of the tunnel and approached the ranger booth the warden called out to us “Hurry up, girls! Another 4 minutes and you’ll be too late!” With good reason they stop the entry of visitors after 4:30pm. The hike up and down the crater is estimated at 30-40 minutes per direction and the gates of the park are closed at 6 on the dot.

Panicking that we would be locked in (a very valid fear) Daisy began a brutal pace up the crater. Her reasoning was that if we caught up to the couple ahead of us then we would be in good company, ie. Less likely to get locked in. Despite all my months at the gym with Latina I could not understand how Daisy was keeping up the speed. Looking back now, I didn’t feel like my heart was going to explode out of my chest but I was definitely gasping for air. Not only that but my calves were cramping pretty fierce, a common problem I get…I think it’s due to wearing heels so often. Note to self: ramp up the cardio even more after vacation.

Mercifully for me, about 1/3 of the way up the crater we were forced to ease up behind a long train of fellow hikers. That was perfectly fine with me. Again, it reassured us that we would not get locked in, there were at least 60 hikers right ahead of us on the trail at this point. After zig-zagging up the crater’s side for a bit we came to a scary set of stairs. Steep with narrow steps. At the top of the steps was a dark tunnel. We had read that you should bring a flashlight with you but apparently they had installed lighting along the path earlier in the year. I wonder how many people got hurt over the years before they set up the lighting? Another set of scary steps, another dark tunnel. 2 sets of tight spiral staircases further and you were finally at the base of the lookout. Gorgeous view, I must admit, and well worth Daisy’s suicidal bolt up the crater.

Getting down was just as hairy. Daisy easily gets dizzy on spiral stairs so we took our time with those. I get really nervous with narrow steps (and at such a steep incline, too!) so we definitely took our time with those. We befriended a nice young couple from Maine so we were comfortable with asking them the stupid question of where exactly was the crater we were supposedly looking at? In our mad dash up the crater we did not take the time to read the informational pamphlet given to us. Very kindly they showed us back at the bottom the informational maps that broke it all down for us. I had NO idea Diamond Head was a military lookout. Shows how much I knew!

And speaking of the military, there were TONS of them in Honolulu! Even at my hotel! You all know how I love that military look so I was pretty happy. They must have been on vacation leave for the most part. I even saw a man in his army uniform carrying a diaper bag. A bit of a downer, haha, but surely not all of them were spoken for.

That same kind Maine couple who explained the whole crater deal to us even offered us a ride back into Waikiki. I do realize that we could have seriously put ourselves in danger taking a ride from a strange couple but thankfully it was completely fine. They talked about how they would like to see Carnaval in Quebec sometime, and how they fell in love with Prince Edward Island. It was nice to know that Americans see our country as a worthy vacation spot as well. Normally, Daisy the backpacker usually has Canadian flag pins that she hands out to friendly people she meets and/or who help her out along her travels but this time around she didn’t think to bring them with her. Oh well, at least we got to meet some great people.

Back at the hotel we jumped into the pool to cool off from our crazy hike. As irony would have it the wind picked up just as I got into the pool, cooling me down too much. Daisy took a picture as proof. For once Leah was cold. I think it was one of the first times in the history of our friendship that she had ever heard me say I was cold. I am almost always too hot, even in the frigid winters we have in Calgary. Unable to take the chill any longer I left Daisy at the pool and went to our room to freshen up and get dressed for dinner.

We didn’t get very far for dinner. Just across the street from the Starbucks on our corner was Ono Philly Cheesesteak. I had noticed another Ono close to the KFC where we had had lunch that day, and me being a cheesesteak lover I could not pass up the opportunity that was now presenting itself once again.

I <3 Ono Philly Cheesesteak. Oh my god, just reminiscing about it makes me want another one pronto! Mmm.

Side note: I looked into Ono Philly Cheesesteak on the internet after I got back from my trip. Turns out it was started by a Filipino family from California! Who would have thought? And the reason why they taste so good? The ingredients are flown in daily from the East Coast. Talk about authenticity! (Mind you, I could be talking garbage right now. I’ve never had a real cheesesteak from Philadelphia so I don’t know how close they are to the real thing….but Ono is very good!)

After that we wandered the shops again. Just like in Lahaina, stores close really late. We made a note of a few clubs in the area, the Hyatt Regency had Deep Blue, while a shopping centre down Kuhio had Fashion 45 and Zanzabar, and across Kuhio from those two was a “casual club” called Scruples. I then had the misfortune of seeing a roach scurrying around a garbage bin on the street. Roach sighting no. 2. Gah.

Satisfied that we had maxed out our day we headed back to our room and drifted off to sleep. Tomorrow was going to be another action-packed day.

2006-08-09T23:40:00.000-06:00

Surf’s Up

Before I forget, Lahaina Shores Beach Resort was the hotel where we stayed while we were in Lahaina. GREAT location! Very nice room, too. Huuuge closet (if you’re planning to stay a long time this is great), a dignified kitchenette (though we only ever used the coffeemaker, fridge, and microwave) and a great bathroom. I don’t know what those are called when the sink is in a separate “room” from the toilet and the shower/tub…but those always come in handy, especially in the morning.

Another thing I forgot to mention: If you do decide to take surf lessons and they give you the option between short and long-sleeved rashguards go with the long sleeves. Trust me. No, it is not hot wearing the rashguards. Yes, you will still tan under the rashguards (so make sure you get your shoulders and your back and backs of your legs since you’ll be face down in the water for most of your lesson. Don’t forget your face!) But those long-sleeves will save you a lot of grief in the long run, as you will read later on.

July 31st, 2006

Crack of dawn our transfer was to pick us up to take us to Kahului airport for our 8am flight. We weren’t really tired, though, as we had not had the time to adjust to the time shift. Again, for some reason it stung like you would not believe when I tried to put my contact lens in my eye. The day before when it stung hardcore like that I decided to put in the fresh new contact that I brought with me "just in case." I looked over my container of solution and its ingredients. And then it dawned on me: this SOB contact solution required a special case that neutralizes the solution overnight while your contact soaks! So in effect I was burning my eye. Joy of joys. I'm glad I figured that out sooner rather than later, though I was cursing my stupidity. (That solution was given to me by optometrist as a sample to try and I must have put the special case elsewhere than with the solution as it should be. When it came time to pack my toiletry bag I packed this solution rather than my regular stuff as it was a smaller bottle and thus more convenient to carry.) Thankfully, Daisy had some normal contact solution that I could use. But my eye was an angry red for a few days afterward, and I was a bit nervous as to whether I should be seeking some medical attention or not. Luckily, all seems back to normal.

As we didn’t have time to have breakfast earlier we made do with the airport restaurant. Or rather, first we went to the little magazine shop where I came upon SPAM MUSUBI! Another local Hawaiian thing I had read about which I had to try. Spam musubi: a slice of fried Spam laid on a block of rice (in this instance it was garlic rice, yum) then bound together with a piece of seaweed. Very ono (yummy). But with so much time to kill and Daisy still breakfast-less we ended up at the restaurant and had a sit down breakfast. 10 BUCKS! But what can you do? Coffee, eggs, a biscuit, some bacon, some sausage, some potatoes. 10 bucks versus my 1.75 Spam Musubi. Bah.

Inter-island flights (we flew with Aloha) are good fun. Noone has assigned seats, just assigned zones. You board by zones in all of 15 minutes. Estimated flight time between Kahului and Honolulu is 20 minutes or so. They do their safety song and dance, hand out guava punch (sooooo refreshing!), collect your cups, and oh, you’re preparing for landing already! All this while they give you an orated tour of what you are seeing while flying over the islands. It’s really neat. Unfortunately we were on the wrong side of the plane to get a good look of Haleakala Crater, but I’ll know for next time.

Our greeter met us right outside our gate with a lei and a hug. Our leis smelled lovely. They consisted of some kind of orchid and tuberose. We couldn’t get enough of the scent! Then it was off to baggage claim where she explained, when it comes to inter-island flights, sometimes your luggage precedes you to your destination since they can just pop it on an earlier flight after you’ve checked in. Sure enough, our luggage was waiting there by the luggage carousel before they even had the carousel started up. Whoever heard of your luggage beating you to your destination?! If anything it’s lost or late!

A quick call on her cell phone and our transfer was ready to whisk us away to Waikiki. After such a lovely morning, I must admit I was disappointed and saddened by our drive into Waikiki. Honestly, I don’t know what I should have expected. I mean, I always knew Honolulu was a city, but seeing all the industrial buildings and all the traffic….it just didn’t jive with my mental image of Hawaiian paradise. Now I knew why people said (mostly under their breath) that I would wish I spent more time in Maui than in Oahu and not the other way around. Don’t get me wrong, Honolulu and Waikiki are great, with a lot of things to see and do, but it’s still got that city pace to it. It’s not the most relaxing vacation you could have, that’s for sure. Someone told me once I compared notes with them upon my return that Honolulu is very much like Miami Beach. I believe it. If you want Hawaii you’ll have to travel a ways out of Waikiki before you get the “real” thing, or you can settle for the touristic shows and the like that have been set up for you at the hotels and the malls.

We arrived at the Ohana Waikiki West and even though we arrived very early in the morning our room was ready for us. It was nothing compared to Lahaina Shores. First of all, our room category in Waikiki was “cityview.” We didn’t think it would be such a big deal but after waking up by the ocean a couple of mornings it was kind of sad to be without it. Not that oceanview would make a big difference in Waikiki unless your hotel is right along the beach. With so many high-rise hotels sometimes you’re lucky if you get a view at all. We didn’t have a couch, so that was so much less space that we did not have in this new room. The bathroom was all behind one door and not split into two sections. It was a shower only….not that I’m one to take baths but good luck if you have to bend down and pick up your soap. And I can’t even imagine trying to shave one’s legs in such cramped space. Again our room had a kitchenette, but instead of a stove and oven we had two burners on the counter. Not that that mattered ‘cuz again we only used the fridge and the microwave. We didn’t even use the coffee-maker this time. Our TV seemed to be fixed on brainwashing us about all things Honolulu. One channel was what to see in Honolulu. Another featured what to eat. Yet another explained how to treat the reef with respect. And if you didn’t happen to speak English they had similar channels in Japanese, too. These channels were useful once in a while, I admit, but some nights you just wanted to wind down with a movie or a sitcom. Good luck finding that! I think there were only one or two channels that actually had regular tv programming. But who comes to Honolulu to watch TV, right?

The Ohana West also has a great location, right on Kuhio Avenue and across from the International Marketplace. If you don’t rent a car (and it’s really wise not to since almost all the hotels charge you a daily parking fee) Kuhio Ave is a great place to be located as all the buses and trolleys make stops along Kuhio. Uber convenient!

Waikiki DOES have a beach, albeit man-made, that you can actually swim and play in. Lahaina does not have that. Or at least, it’s not officially a beach as there are no lifeguards on duty there. Still plenty of surfers, kayakers, and boogie boarders on the beach in Lahaina, though. I never thought myself to be much of a beach bunny, but I admit I had a blast in Waikiki. You are looking at a converted beach bunny. Mind you, I’m more for soaking in the ocean, baking on a beach towel is not really my thing. I even donned my OTHER bikini for the day since we had party plans for later.

One thing I had not counted on was being in some pain over my surfing rashes. Forgetting all about them I splashed around in the Pacific Ocean when all of a sudden my arms felt like they were being pricked by a million pins right where my rashes were. When I looked them over they were bright red and angry...as if they were about to bleed at any moment. So I quickly headed back to the towels and compared notes with Daisy who had experienced the same sensation. Once we got back into the water for our second soak, though, the pain was all gone. I guess there is some truth to the healing properties of salt water...it just comes at a price sometimes. Now I really wished we had gone with the long sleeved rashguards instead of the cutesy short sleeved ones. But nobody warned us it would be like this!

The Internatioal Marketplace reminded me a lot of the market close to my grandparents’ home in the Philippines. You can barter, though I felt a bit odd bartering on American ground. Lots of pseudo-brand name style handbags and the like. Lots of local-style jewelry in coral, whalebone, kukui nut. I found a ring like the one my brother bought at this same marketplace when he was in high school. I knew I had to find him another one as he was choked when he lost the original one. Daisy finally tried a shave ice, something she had been fixated on since we landed on the islands. While I did not have it (yet) I did notice that there was a Filipino lunch counter in the International Marketplace’s food court where I could treat myself to a Halo-Halo. Mental note for some other time in the week.

For lunch we bought McDonalds, irregardless of the lack of taro pie. One thing we had not noted when we were in Maui was that McDonalds is expensive compared to back home. And later we discovered it was even expensive compared to other fast food restaurants we are accustomed to! Fine, they give you a container of pineapple chunks in addition to your combo, but it still doesn’t explain the huge discrepancy in price. But one thing McDonalds is useful for when traveling in Oahu: they carry the routes and schedules for TheBus. I LOVE TheBus. Big difference from our transit system here in Calgary, though TheBus is a smaller system. TheBus is air conditioned. Man, it’s so good. Not only is it air conditioned but there is a scrolling sign at the front of the bus that tells you which stop is next. And if you can’t see that sign there’s even an automated voice that will TELL you what stop is next. They break it down by street names when appropriate, by tourist attraction (ie. USS Arizona Memorial AKA Pearl Harbor), shopping mall, hotel…whatever is relevant at that stop. You really can’t go wrong with TheBus. It only costs 2 dollars to get on and they give you a transfer (which I noticed usually reads 3 hours past the time you boarded) and you have until 2 hours past your transfer’s time to take another trip for free with the transfer. So you have FIVE hours to do your thing or even to move onto your next destination. And it’s not even like you’re on the bus for hours, either. To get to the famous North Shore on the opposite end of the island takes 2 hours one way. And that would be the longest ride you would have to expect. Some days I’m stuck in transit here in Calgary for longer than that!

After putzing around in the Marketplace and checking out our surroundings we headed back to the beach. I had promised Daisy a “booze cruise” as part of her birthday present. Unfortunately, the reservations I made with the Na Hoku II fell through. The waves were so rough that they stopped operating halfway through the day. In light of that we went to Duke’s which was right next door. Kool Keith, and even our guide books, recommended Duke’s for good drinks and pupus (appetizers.) I had a Lava Flow, which was yummy, while Daisy had another Mai Tai. The pupus were not very Hawaiian as I had a chicken quesadilla and Daisy had some kind of deep fried crab wontons or something like that. But it was really fun and the place was packed. They put an orchid in your drink, and like nerds we propped it in our hair. As we had read, a flower over your right ear denotes that you’re single, if it’s over your left ear it means you are married or spoken for. Very good to know since I would have put it over my left ear if I had not been educated about the form.

Afterwards we headed back to our hotel to change (I don’t know how people can stand being in a damp swimsuit for long periods of time….it’s not for me.) and plan out our attack for the rest of the week. I got a little anxious about the cost. As Daisy put it later, I simply must have gotten overwhelmed with the prices of things, I had not realized my holiday would get so expensive so quickly. Luckily, the company which handled our airport transfers runs a welcome breakfast the morning after you arrive so we could sit tight and do a little comparison shopping between the tours offered by our hotel’s activities desk (Outrigger Activities) and our transfer company (Aloha V.I.P. tours) the next day.

After my little meltdown (to my credit I don’t usually get worked up like that…I think it was something else talking on my behalf, but that’d be more than you need to know) Daisy decided to walk around Kuhio. I didn’t really want to stay behind in our room, not to mention it was already evening and I’d feel better if she had company, so I tagged along. Not sure if she had wanted the downtime to be alone with her own thoughts but she didn’t say I couldn’t come along. There really was not much down the way we walked, a few shops and even bubble tea joints along the way. When we were looking at a statue of one of the queen’s handmaids there was a creepy sort of drunk fellow wandering about so we were good about keeping clear of him. Across the street from our hotel was a small grocery store. That was good to know. On the corner of our hotel was a Starbucks. That was very good to know. Daisy had counted them earlier in the day, but now we made notes of the ABC stores around our hotel. (ABC is a sort of convenience store chain overabundant in Waikiki. There were even 2 on Front Street in Lahaina, and Front Street isn’t even that long. ABC, we learned, stands for Always By a Corner. They have everything from souvenirs to liquor to beach toys, toiletry items, and small grocery items. They’re always open until late. I don’t think we went a day without making a purchase at some ABC store or another.) We were on our way to setting up the rest of our Hawaiian adventure.

But you always have to set aside some time for sleep.

2006-08-08T23:12:00.000-06:00

Walk on

July 30, 2006

I forgot to mention: first swimsuit I donned for my first day in paradise? A bikini! 3 cheers for me, I had never done anything like that before. Mind you, I felt like I was “popping out” of this particular top so I never wore it again the rest of my trip, but it was still a first to celebrate!

Snafu no. 1: We weren’t able to find an available tour for this morning’s sunrise at Haleakala Crater so for now it remains on my “must-do”s for my next Hawaiian adventure.

But even with that glitch in our itinerary, we were not lacking for things to do in Lahaina. We had breakfast at a quaint little joint called the Sunrise Café. Great breakfast, and I could almost swear that it was owned by a warm-hearted Filipino couple. (Yes, I’m bad with identifying Filipinos, but Lahaina had LOTS of them….just my hotel front desk alone was manned by no less than 3 Filipinos. One of them even commented on my great surname when I was checking out. Reminding me that it is the same last name as “one of our great national heroes.” Front Street is always busy and we got to check out the Wo Hing Museum where they were showing the very first motion pictures taken by Thomas Edison of Hawaii. We tried to visit the old prison (got to walk through some of the residential part of town in the process. Always cool to get away from the touristy stuff!) but alas it was closed on Sundays. It was still pretty neat from outside its walls, though. The prisoners broke down the coral walls of an old fort by the ocean and lugged the bricks over to build the prison.

But a fabulous part of our day? Surf lessons! Granted, I just proved to myself that I am not a surfer, haha, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t have fun trying. And I had the battle scars to prove it! Or rather, I still HAVE the battle scars. They’re healing very nicely, though, thanks. Much thanks to Nancy Emerson’s School of Surfing. Jason is a great instructor.

After that we were obviously starving. Yes, they have your typical American fare but I really wanted to try something distinctly Hawaiian (my breakfast had Portuguese sausage which I hear is a Hawaiian thing, but that was just a small part of my meal). Captain Dave’s Fish & Chips serves up “plate lunches.” Very Hawaiian. I got to try a Loco Moco: a hamburger patty on rice with two eggs cooked your style, all smothered in gravy with a small side of macaroni salad. I hear it doesn’t get much more local than that…and it was good.

Another local food, apparently, is the taro pie at McDonald’s. Unfortunately, when we found a McDonald’s a huge “sold out” sign was plastered across the picture of the taro pie. (We didn’t have much luck finding taro pie in Honolulu after, either. Apparently taro pie is “all over no more.” I love the local pidgin talk!)

We spent the rest of the evening once again strolling about Front Street. I bought a shirt from the Hard Rock Café. To my credit it isn’t emblazoned with their logo, not my style, but rather a line from a song that I quite like. Another visit to Hilo Hattie, which we had discovered the night before as well. Never got to the big 12-foot golden Buddha, it was too far up the road and it was getting pretty dark.

We picked up some microwave popcorn and some little bottles of Trader Vic’s Original Mai Tais so we could have our own little soiree out on our lanai listening to the waves crash (just like Ixtapa, I could never get sick of falling asleep/waking up to the sound of the ocean). But first, a little boo over at Bamboo “where all the locals hang out.” It was really nice just being amongst the “real” people. We each tried a bottle of Kona Big Wave golden ale. Though I’m still not much of a beer drinker I did not protest. It’s all about trying things you don’t have at home, right?

On our walk back to our hotel (which was right next to Bamboo, how great is that?), however, Daisy saw a cockroach scurry about on the sidewalk. Mercifully, I missed it. I don’t do well with roaches. Roach sighting no. 1 of our trip! *shudder* Once back at the hotel we re-organized our luggage to prepare for our transfer back to Kahului airport the next morning. But not before our little celebration on the lanai: mai tais and popcorn watching the ocean come in. Were we spoiling ourselves or what?

2006-08-07T23:39:00.000-06:00

And away we go

Since I did not bother with keeping up my travel journal last week, I better write down everything I can remember before it all fades away.

July 29, 2006

Everyone was stunned when I told them about how much I was taking with me for my one week in Hawaii. What can I say? I tend to pack the world with me. Four pairs of shoes? A bit much? I didn’t think so, they were all going to serve their own purpose. Hiking shoes for Diamond Head, flip flops for the beach, my trusty Pumas for long walks sightseeing, and some dressy sandals for the flights there and back. We were going to try and dress the part of business class passengers in hopes of an upgrade. It never worked.

Let’s see, what else…at least 10 tops, only one of which had sleeves and those were short (you all know me, I wilt easily in the heat) and one long sleeve yoga zip-up…but I expected to only use it on the plane. A sundress for the luau, two pairs of shorts, and a skort. Forget about jeans, I don’t think I would survive the heat of Hawaii with my legs all covered. More swimsuits than I have ever owned in my life, thanks to some amazing sales and boosted confidence, and a few boardshorts for days when that confidence may wane. My shower wrap, a cover-up top (again for waning-confidence days), two pairs of socks (hiking days), some foot liners (Puma days), several different methods of hair removal (didn’t really want to shave if I could avoid it, and at the last minute I read on my in-shower Veet, which was to be my holiday savior, that you should avoid sunbathing and swimming for 24 hours after application….that simply would not do!). 7 sets of pajamas, more pairs of delicates than I could ever need in that one week, toiletries, my Jack Daniels hat, SPF 50 sunblock, and contact lens solution. All that and I was still anxious that I was missing something. But as I’ve heard someone say: “Pack half the stuff and bring twice the money.” Whatever I was forgetting, if anything, could surely be bought on my holiday. After all was said and done, I had my 25-inch suitcase and my 17-inch rolling carry-on all packed plus my traveling purse. I was good to go.

Contrast that with my traveling companion, Daisy, and her 26-inch suitcase and backpack. The pack-the-world princess versus the backpacking nomad. It would be an interesting 7 days.

So Day 1: off to Maui. Got to the airport and all checked-in no problem. Didn’t get into business class, though : (. They had fake flower leis for us to wear when we checked in. I thought some passengers might find it a bit hokey but everyone seemed to be in good spirits and quite a few opted to keep it on all the way to our destination.

Thank goodness I had Daisy with me. It has been a good number of years since I’ve flown, and even with helping my family on their trip to the Philippines earlier this year I was still caught unaware. I found it kind of odd that they didn’t take our luggage after handing us our boarding passes but it didn’t seem to faze the rest of the passengers so I just shrugged it off. After we cleared U.S. customs there were baggage handlers ready to place our luggage onto the conveyor belt. Assuming that it was the x-ray machine I ditzily handed them both of my suitcases and was handing them my purse when the handler told me to keep it with me. That was when Daisy, all concerned for my carry-on, pointed out that it was the belt for all the checked luggage. Luckily, the handler made a call down and was able to get me my carry-on back. Didn’t I say it was going to be an interesting 7 days? I mean, I had not even left Calgary soil and I was already making travel mistakes! Luckily, after that our wait until boarding was problem-free.

And the flight to Maui? Last time I flew with Harmony they were calling themselves HMY Airlines. Back then I thought they were superb, but that could have easily been due to the fact that they were serving a plane-load of travel agents. I’m happy to note that they are just as amazing as they were when I went to Ixtapa, and I can be confident in my judgment now since we were all just your typical passengers/tourists. They provided us with more food and drink than I could have ever expected. The seats were not jam-packed hip to hip. They even had a nice hot towel for us before our descent into Kahului. Daisy mentioned something to the effect that they operated pretty similar to what she affectionately likes to call “the golden age of travel.” No skimpy service here!

The airport was pretty small, and open-air, too! We found our airport transfer no problem and were the first ones dropped off at our hotel.

Our room was gorgeous and ocean-front as we had asked for. Not only that but it turned out we were right next door to our surf lessons as well as walking distance to all the good stuff in town.

And walk we did. We saw the big banyan tree, we witnessed a surfing competition in progress, a tiny open-air Baptist church (I really dig the open-air things), and other quaint and little-town things. Lahaina (that’s where we stayed) is a lot like Banff, in my opinion, just on the sea. You have one main street, Front Street, with all these cute shops and restaurants, and that’s all there really is to life in the town. Visited Hale Kahiko, which is a copy of an old Hawaiian village with thatched roof huts and tikis and their everyday tools.

As Kool Keith said to me, Lahaina seems to be where all the action is even if it’s a sleepy little town. He warned me that I’d be surprised how early the night wraps up there, but I didn’t find that to be the case at all. Coming from Calgary, where shops close up at 9 except for Wal-Mart and the odd grocery store closing at 10, you could shop for pearls, jewelry, anything you desired until 11-11:30. And everyone was walking the street late into the evening.

We had dinner at the original Cheeseburger In Paradise. I agree with the reviews that it’s kitschy and overpriced, but I would have regretted not checking the place out. But we were pretty exhausted for our first night out…whereas the town just seemed to be warming up. We put up a good fight, I felt, but by midnight we were definitely ready to fall asleep.

2006-07-29T01:15:00.000-06:00

Aloha oe

Right now I forget what oe means, but I'm sure I'll learn about it in half a day's time or so. And I'm sure it's relevant to right now.

Anyway, wish me luck! Here's to plenty of stories to share in a week's time!

2006-07-23T22:23:00.000-06:00

Hot child in the city

From what I've heard it's just hot everywhere you go in the world these days. Even my basement is not as cool and comforting as it usually is. Sooo harsh.

Last weekend my cousin and his wife had a renewal of vows as well as the christening of their son (they got married in the Philippines a while back, and not very many of us were able to travel there to attend). The reception was held at the Sheraton Suites Eau Claire. I always knew it was a nice hotel but I had no idea just how nice. To put it into perspective I don't think I want my wedding reception to be at the Palliser anymore. The service and quality of everything they had at the Sheraton was UNBELIEVABLE. I'm in love with the Sheraton now. And it's a bonus that it's so close to the river I love so much.

I would have to say this cousin is one of my favorites out of those who have married into our family. I think she's so sweet and kind...and it's tough being a woman marrying in (from what I've observed, as opposed to a guy marrying into the family). She looked so beautiful, and my cousin and their little boy looked so dapper. I got all teary, as I'm always apt to do, and for the first time...I swear...I felt a bit lonely and sad. Not in that "oh god I need to be in a relationship!" sort of loneliness, 'cuz I still think that's weak, but more due to the fact that I'd love to bring someone new into the family. It's taking longer than I expected, I always thought I'd be married by now. But I suppose it's all for the best. The only guy I ever bothered introducing to the family was a big talker, and according to Weird Kid his head was too big (physically, and to this day the odd time he runs into this guy he still lets me know that the guy's head is huge, makes me laugh...besides, look what happened to that guy!). After that I was even more determined to screen these guys before even mentioning them to the familia. I did meet one guy who I thought would get along with my family and friends, but he wasn't that into me and so that never even got off the ground. Anyway, long story short, I felt a twinge of loneliness and sadness that I have not been with anyone I could proudly introduce to the familia...and a sort of nervousness as to when that day will ever happen. But yeah, I got over that quickly, though I'm sure it will creep up again the next time the family has a wedding. Luckily, I don't think there's another wedding coming up anytime soon, so I have some time. And who knows, maybe I'll come across someone by then.

The night before I went dress shopping again on a whim (I feel like I never have time to shop anymore!) and destiny handed me another "little black" that looks incredible on me, if I do say so myself. Dare I say it's my new favorite "little black." Like I don't already have a dozen little blacks in my closet. And you would not believe the price even if I told you...though I won't tell you the price in case you think I was being cheap. :) It was worth every penny and MORE. I could not believe my luck. I would have willingly paid 5x what I did for a dress that fit me so well.

Unfortunately, the big family to-do fell on Daisy's birthday. What worked out really well is her and the Usual Suspects, Flag Girl, and Ovo ended their evening at Brewster's in Eau Claire. I felt pretty bad walking away from such an amazing function but I don't regret meeting up with Daisy on her birthday, of course. Sure I was overdressed but it's always nice to be all snazzied up every once in a while.

OH! Not to put a damper on this story but on my way to the hotel (I had to leave earlier than the rest of the family since I was on guestbook duty...but it was nice getting the extra attention from the tourists and other transit-takers on the train) I witnessed a case of police brutality as my train drove by. It was a jarring experience to say the least. Two cops were chasing a young guy past Palomino and once they tackled him onto the ground the one cop kept slapping the guy's head so it would smash into the sidewalk! It was completely unnecessary since the guy was not even putting up a struggle. I was disappointed that this was one of the experiences our city's tourists were getting out of their stay during our Stampede. Oh, and your stereotypical drunken brawl amongst First Nations (AKA Native Americans). Both incidents occured within 2 minutes of one another while we sailed by on the C-Train.

2006-07-10T23:48:00.000-06:00

"Ballroom blitz"

I almost forgot! Saturday (the day at the Stampede) we sat at the ATCO Blue Flame Kitchen to rest our feet while Buzzards Cowboy Cuisine demonstrated how they cook some of their specialties. For all those who are not in the know, Buzzards is famous for their annual "Testicle Festival" which usually coincides with Stampede time in the city. So guess what they cooked up for us that day? Yeah.

I ate (albeit just a small sample, those puppies are big!) a pan-fried prairie oyster in gravy.

It's a lot chewier than I thought it'd be. Interesting. Perhaps since they did not pressure cook it. My mom makes a really good beef tongue dish but the tongue is so tender from pressure cooking that it practically just melts in your mouth. Not so with fried prairie oysters.

So there you have it, I've tasted a toro's cojones. And now, back to our studio!

2006-07-09T23:12:00.000-06:00

"Got to get you back in my life"

Sheer curiosity has me wondering how long can I create blog post titles out of song lyrics. Given the amount of time I've spent on here in the past month I'll never run out of lyrics simply since I rarely post these days.

That also means I have way too much to write about whenever I do get around to posting, but time constraints and not wanting to babble results in cutting out some fun times on here since I never had the time to write about it. C'est la vie. C'est dommage.

But I'll try to remember everything I wanted to write about, if only because I haven't written in ages.

The Usual Suspects and I headed out to Edmonton on Canada Day just to get out of the city. Or rather, we headed to West Edmonton Mall since we never really do anything else in Edmonton. I am offended that they have Urban Outfitters and Hollister and we do not have them in Calgary... yet. I remain hopeful. With it being a holiday it turned out the mall was only open till 6 shopping-wise but being oblivious to that we spent a good 5 hours at the waterpark leaving us 2 hours or so left to shop. Power shopping at it's roughest! Ended up with a wooden bead belt from Hollister and an adorable bowed top from Urban Outfitters. A great way to end the shopping portion of our itinerary...I've been feeling great since upping the gym quotient, and although I can't really say that I've gone down a whole size or anything I was liking what I saw in the fitting rooms. Yay, me!

So that was a great way to start the long weekend. Or, rather, finding out my request for vacation time to go to Hawaii had been approved was the great start to the long weekend. Daisy and I are going to Hawaii, baby! 2 days in Maui, 5 days in Oahu, it's going to be amazing. I'm uber excited. Anybody who's been there: feel free to share your tips and recommendations! Pair that with my feeling-good-out-of-the-gym sensation these days and I'm actually wanting to go swimsuit shopping for the trip. Imagine that!

After West Edmonton Mall we stopped in Red Deer to fill up on gas and so Civic could demonstrate what he had learned about Mentos and Diet Coke. Yes, there we were in a gas station parking lot watching cola fizz and spurt out of the bottle volcano-style. But not before we encountered an Amazon of a woman/possibly trannie and her hoochified barbie of a friend purchasing gum (or something to that effect) from the gas station cashier. Never a dull moment with the Usual Suspects, I tell you what.

So that was last weekend, any questions?

This past Friday, Civic swung by my work to come get me after my shift and help me find a new beach bunny cowboy hat (when ironically I found out tonight that my brother has my old one in his room...all for the best really since this new one is too shallow/big on my head and blows away in the slightest breeze). It was sort of another power-shop sort of deal since he had dinner plans with his brother and sister-in-law. I tagged along. I had something like "mixed seafood in milk" on rice which doesn't sound nearly as good as it actually was. Maybe out of curiosity I'll go back and order the "lamp with vegetables." Heehee.

Then it was on to 17th Ave to meet up with Daisy. And wouldn't you know it, her scooter guy was there at Caffe Beano just as we were parking. Unfortunately, he was hopping on his scooter and drove off as we got out of the car but it would not have mattered if we tried to stall him, Daisy was still a few minutes out.

Saturday was the annual Stampede Breakfast at Chinook Centre and we had raved about it to so many of our friends and family (last year each line had a different add-on to their pancakes...chocolate chips, strawberries, apples, that kind of thing) that we actually had a fair-sized group this year. But of course, it was just standard pancakes on offer this time around. Never fails.

Stampede breakfast was followed up by the Stampede itself. Nelly Furtado was performing on the coke stage that night and Saturday also ended up being the best day for me to take baby sis out to the grounds. To my credit I did not eat a lot of the carnie food, but I've never really been one for corn dogs and cotton candy. I didn't even touch a single mini-donut this year! This year was pretty more of the same for me, a slice of Wicked Wedge, an aquassage, a handful of rides, a couple of games, and a lot of walking. Civic introduced us to a good place to sit and take in the evening's fireworks. That's right, we opened the park and we closed the park...even baby sis! But I suppose since it's the only day I plan on attending this year I might as well have made the best of it.

But alas, didn't catch any of Nelly's show. It was just too crowded and I don't have that kind of patience anymore. However, I am still the undisputed queen of Whack-A-Mole, and I even won on the Water Racers game this year!

2006-06-19T23:56:00.000-06:00

"Just like me, they long to be close to you."

So last Friday the Usual Suspects and I had our "routine" unwind at Caffe Beano. "Routine" is in quotations for a reason I shall discuss later.

As per usual, we closed the place down, but that's not very hard to do when it's Friday night and only midnight. When we stepped outside there was a scooter at the door and this got everyone talking about everything from fuel efficiency to how it looked kind of mucky (my contribution, what can I say? Scooters should look impeccable and stylish, not mucky...though Daisy said later about Civic saying something about how this vehicle wasn't technically a scooter or something. Whatever, it's cute and small and can take me around town.) Naturally, right before I'm about to say something about how it looks junked the owner steps out and sits on the bench behind us. So now the boys are all talking to him about fuel efficiency and blah di blah. Us girls just stood around waiting for them to wind up so we could head over to Classic Jack's (I had went to the gym straight from work and hadn't had anything to eat for dinner yet.) Little did I know that scooter-guy had someone else's attention: Daisy!

No kidding, I was absolutely clueless about how smitten she was with the fellow until she (with our encouragement) got up from our table at Classic Jack's, walked out of the pub and headed out to look for the guy!

(Later she admitted that she wasn't sure what she'd do if she found him - which unfortunately she didn't - other than she just wanted to sit with him. I am so not making this up, and this is a side of Daisy I have never seen before!)

It's not usually her style, but I was just amazed that the guy had such a strong impression on her...all that was said between the two was a "goodbye" when we walked away!

You can probably tell by my amazement that I have never met a guy that has had such an effect on yours truly. Just, wow, that's power right there, folks.

Anyway, I can only imagine that Caffe Beano will be our regular Friday night haunt for the next little while. Not that it wasn't before! Flag-girl brought up this thing she read about how "singles should develop a routine so that they have an opportunity to meet and become familiar with the same faces over time." Fine and dandy that, but what if you don't like the faces you have been seeing? Haha, I digress. And normally I roll my eyes at self-help mumbo jumbo like that, but I'm behind Daisy all the way on this quest. If only because I want to see how this pans out!

Our salsa class ended this past Sunday. Hottie Ukrainian TA guy was nowhere to be found *sigh.* He hadn't been to class for the past couple of weeks. If you were thinking of suggesting I pull a Daisy and go find Hottie Ukrainian TA guy I'd have to say "No." I'm not all that compelled.

On the other hand, I tend to compel pansies to come my way. There was Bus Guy, then on Friday I met Train Guy. After learning my Bus Guy lesson, I didn't give any personal details away. Anyway, dude was taking Kinesiology at the university and he was showing me this wheel charts and such regarding reflexology (which I'll admit is intriguing) and then aromatherapy and hydrotherapy and blah di blah (hippie stuff, naturally my mind shut down.) He's from BC, does that not explain SO much? They should make BC a hippie territory and all the little communes just converge into one big commune. Or is it a cooperative? I don't know, whatever. But I shouldn't be so harsh on the guy, he seemed really keen about what he was learning so good on him. It was just when he asked me if I was experiencing any ailments and whipped out his reflexology foot chart that I got kind of creeped. I'm not letting some random guy on the train rub my feet. It was bad enough when I went on that date with that foot fetishist guy. To each their own, but I was so self-conscious about him looking at my feet in that way that I wore penny loafers on our date. There was no bare-footage whatsoever on that date. At any rate, the Hippie Train Guy was pretty shy when he wasn't talking about his classes. So when another girl came and sat with us he pretty much clammed up and I got to read my book in peace for the rest of the commute.

2006-06-15T23:34:00.000-06:00

Moving on up

Weird Kid, darling brother that he is, convocated last Tuesday. Obviously we're super proud of him. The stats make my family look good, not that that is what it's all about, but still. My parents produced two university graduates! I didn't really think much about it until my mom broke it down, seems like we're the only ones in the family circle (blood-wise) thus far.

And with that my brother treated himself to a new car as his reward. Not brand new, but it's still pretty snazzycakes. Not to mention it's his first stick-shift. Much better than I, that's for sure. It's fun riding around in his Infiniti, though.

All I've got to show for the past week is my new entertainment console. I'm building it all by myself, I might add. (Hopefully it can hold up my TV, haha.) Plus I got a bit of a raise so yay for me! It's not much compared to my brother Mr. Geophysicist :) but it was still cause for a smile.

As fate would have it I still haven't seen High Fidelity in all these years (don't judge!) despite having it in my DVD collection. I popped it in on Sunday but I was so pooped I couldn't keep my eyes open. Then on Monday, Weird Kid hogged the TV. But thanks to the little bit that I did manage to catch, I went out and bought the book. I had NO idea it was initially a novel. The fact that it's written by Nick Hornby, the guy who wrote About A Boy (a movie I absolutely couldn't stand) made me hesitate somewhat but I bought it nonetheless. And you know what? I LOVE IT. I wish I had discovered it earlier. It's one of those books that I have difficulty pacing myself with, I just want to devour it. So the fact that my commute home tonight took twice as long as it should (*grumble*) fazed me none whatsoever. It will be interesting to watch the movie after this. I could never understand why they always have to Americanize British shows/books...as if we would not accept them in their original versions or we're too dense to understand the differences in slang/lingo. Whatever.

In other entertainment news, I cannot wait until Nelly Furtado's new CD comes out. I can't get enough of that Promiscuous song! Nelly Furtado + Timbaland production can only = amazing hotness.

2006-06-06T00:57:00.000-06:00

Let's Dance

Phew, it's up and functional at least. Designing blogskins is definitely not my forte, and I was hoping this one would look a little classier than how it turned out. *sigh* I guess it will have to do for now.

2006-05-31T18:26:00.000-06:00

Deal or no deal

A really steadfast dealbreaker for me at my age are guys who are divorced already I’m sure my opinion will change as I get older, but for a guy to have married and divorced before even hitting 30 cries out “foul” in my mind. And of course you never get the whole story, usually it’s only his side. But somehow at some point they fell apart. Maybe they were reckless and got married too soon or maybe they just grew apart from one another. In any case it doesn’t give me a very wise and mature impression of the guy.

Why am I telling you this? Remember that one hot TA in my salsa class? My crush on him grows bigger by the week. I must have a giddy look on my face whenever I get to practice with him. What can I say? It feels so good to be dancing in the arms of someone who knows what he’s doing and is damn good at it. I peg him at early 30s, tops. Smart dresser, smells nice, confident dancer. Although it’s poor dance form I notice I move my body closer and closer to him each time. Still a tad conceited, but in my mind that’s better than being with a wishy-washy pansy.

I made some idle chitchat, complimenting him on his necklace and asking about the competitions he’s won (if there’s anything I’ve learned in dating so far it’s how to deal with big-headed guys to make them like you more: be interested in all his ego-centric babble). Naturally he was more than eager to give his responses, even tossing in that he’s Ukrainian but his necklace is some sort of Irish symbol for strength and unity (which would explain why it has similar traits to the Irish loveknot necklace Daisy brought me back from her travels.)

I didn’t take up all his time, although there are some other girls who do vie for some practice time with him. Competition, haha, and they’re pretty obvious about it.

Flag girl had practice time with the hottie TA, too. But the info SHE learned from him threw me into a dilemma.

He’s got an ex-wife AND kids. *bites her lip* At his age!!!

Which would, at least in my mind, explain the corny sense of humor. The cheesy jokes that I giggled at to make him feel more charming. Guh. I bet he watches Trailer Park Boys, too. A man-child with a marital history already. The dealbreaker of ALL dealbreakers. Would it even be worth it?

I just wanna dance.

2006-05-30T23:45:00.000-06:00

Friday, I'm in Love

Well, not really, but Tubby Dog's special this month - the Aunt May - is the best hot dog they've come up with thus far I'd have to say. Let's see, there was potato salad, mustard, scallions, and lots and lots of grated cheese. So. Good.

I update Weird Kid on the Tubby Dog specials so often I swear he thinks I eat there on a regular basis. Contrary to popular belief this was only my 3rd Tubby Dog since they opened last year(?). I've had the A-Bomb (space cheese, bacon bits, potato chips) and the Slaw Dog (cole slaw, chili, I can't remember what else) but Aunt May has been the best by far. Too bad it's only here for a short while.

Yeah, Friday was our typical jaunt around 17th. We started with some tea at Steeps (no Caffe Beano this time!), always good. had Tubby Dog, then we ended up at Tim Hortons where we helped Daisy out with her school marking. It had been so long since I've helped her mark her students' homework. Apparently her curriculum teaches the kids addition horizontally initially and then for bigger multi-digit numbers they convert to the vertical way. I can't remember if we had issues way back then (2nd grade) but these poor kids are so mixed up. I don't even know how they can help the kids grasp the concept before the year is up.

So we made the best of our Friday despite the rain. We're a determined bunch.

Saturday was great, too. Got a bunch of errands done at the mall (shopper's rage was under control) and went with Weird Kid to check out a car he's planning on buying from a friend. Later the Usual Suspects and I got together again and had dinner at the Joyce on 4th and somehow ended up at Bubblemania for some bubble tea.

But not before noticing all the prostitutes on the street close to Don Quixote's. I don't know why that is such a highlight for me...maybe 'cuz seeing prostitutes out in the open is still somewhat a novelty. It's just too bad that they were all around Don Quixote's, I love the food there and I'd been planning on going dancing there sometime. After seeing what I saw, I think I'll stick to lunches/early dinners and dance elsewhere. Although it makes me kind of wonder how the johns can distinguish the difference between a bonafide prostitute and the cougars on the prowl.

Bubblemania was a whole other story. It was packed to the brim with Asians and their "token white friend"s. So Asian that even Civic and I were feeling a bit out of place in there. Fortunately(?) there were no tables available for us so we got our bubble tea to go. Yay, Romantic Calgary! Yummy! Too bad their balls were a little too firm. Haha.

Seeing a reverse Yellow Fever couple - Leah-speak for an Asian guy with a white girl - Civic made the comment that he could never bring a white girl to Bubblemania. It stood to reason, though. If we were feeling outnumbered in there I could only imagine what caucasians (not the token white kind) would feel like in there.

While we waited for our order the beginning beats of Black Eyed Peas' "My Humps" began to play. Or so we thought. It ended up being some Chinese(?) song. Civic pounced on it about a half-second before I did. "It" being the notion that Asian women typically don't have much lady lump-age to speak of. This got Civic all animated in his physical interpretation/miming of the song.

No humps, none in the back or in the front.

So that got us all going, well, that and this Chinese(? I'm one of the worst when it comes to identifying other Asian backgrounds) guy with massive sideburns. Straight out of the 70s, I'd have to say.

Luckily we got our beverages and left before any of us got murdered for mocking the patrons. Awww, Bubblemania, I still love you!

With nowhere to go with our bubble teas we ended up parking on that makeout hill place overlooking downtown. Yeah, all 3 of us. We're close, don'tcha know. More cynical troublemaking, with Civic and Daisy staring down occupants in the cars next to ours and my overwhelming urge to push someone down the hill/cliff. (Not sure how to explain that one, apparently I have a violent side just crying to come out.) But we weren't the only odd ones out on the hill. There was another trio walking around (again, I wanted to push someone for kicks, where do I get these urges?) and one guy all by his lonesome in his minivan.

Great view. Love the view. Made for good bubbletea enjoyment time.

And that's all I've got for Saturday.

2006-05-28T22:47:00.000-06:00

Would you like to buy a vowel?

Skrong
Pronunciation: 'skro[ng]
Function: noun
: the effect on fuller-figured women wearing peasant skirts which causes the fabric to gather in between the legs while walking (don't laugh, I've seen way too many of these lately) The look that is inevitably created is that of a "so-wrong-sarong-for-each-leg AKA flowy long skort." Illustrations graciously omitted to preserve the reader's eyesight.

See, there are other reasons why I would never wear a peasant skirt other than the fact that they are laaaaaame. Not even just lame, they are brokeback like baby massages. (inside joke.)

Smort
Pronunciation: 'smort
Function: noun
: knee-length or less than knee-length trousers, more typically landing mid-thigh, with a prominently high slit on each side. The look that is inevitably created is that of a high-slitted skort for men (minus the front panel). See also: the 1970s, American Apparel, pansies.

Cremony
Pronunciation: 'kre-"mO-nE
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural -nies
: a formal act or series of acts prescribed by ritual, protocol, or convention celebrated by those phonetically challenged (the marriage cremony)

Thankfully, all the weddings I will be attending this summer are your typical ceremonies. But Civic, on the other hand, is due to attend a cremony soon. Heaven knows what one is expected to wear to a cremony. Perhaps skrongs and smorts are in order.

2006-05-22T23:17:00.000-06:00

Long weekend = short work week

Good stuff.

We didn't go away for the long weekend, but we still managed to get together and do a lot. Lots of togetherness. Lots of good times.

Friday, Weird Kid and I caught an early show of The DaVinci Code. I am quite impressed that they stayed pretty true to the novel, although Weird Kid pointed out that those who haven't read the book might find it a bit confusing. Still, it was fantastic but I still don't see Tom Hanks when I envision Robert Langdon. Oh well.

Then, we had sushi at Tokyo Garden. Yummm. A friend of Spidermonkey's takes his whole wad of wasabi and mixes it with his soy sauce. It's incredible. I am the type of person who can't even handle a dot of wasabi.

Saturday, us siblings and our friends went to watch Over The Hedge (the fact that these two movies opened on the same weekend caused quite a dilemma for us). That movie was adorable! Steve Carell as Hammy was fantastic!

Then, we had cheesecake at the Cheesecake Cafe. Again, yummmm. (As you can see, I was going to have to pay dearly at the gym sometime in the near future.)

Sunday was salsa class. I soooo showed up our instructor when he picked me for a demonstration, heehee. I'm not saying I made him look bad, but I was definitely more rocking than he and the rest of the class was expecting, I'm sure. The downside? After that display I was a bit hurting for guys to practice with. Intimidated? Perhaps. BUT I got to dance with the one hot TA in our class (and I say ONE hot TA since all the other TAs are kind of getting up there in age). Not only is he easier on the eyes but he also ranked first in his competition the night before. In my mind that makes him the best to be had in our class...and I do deserve the best. Too bad there's another girl in our class competing for his attention.

Later that night we went to Phillip's Forbidden Flavors for ice cream (yummm part 3) and walked up and down 17th. Being that it was Sunday quite a few establishments closed early for the evening...but I suppose summer hours are not yet in effect. We ended up the evening at Classic Jack's where these two guys at the table next to ours queried Civic, Daisy and I on whether or not penguins and ostriches are birds or mammals. I will admit right here and now that I did not take biology in high school (I'm a chem and physics girl) but I recall that we did cover the differences in the animal kingdom way back in junior high. Wouldn't you know it, I couldn't pull up the knowledge for the life of me. Common sense said they were birds, but those two guys kept questioning us and breaking down our confidence in the matter. Honestly, I was getting swayed. And with no hard proof or statistic as to why penguins and ostriches are, without a doubt, birds I was feeling shaky about my convictions. I even texted a bright guy I know to see if he could settle this with hard info at 1 in the morning but needless to say he didn't come to my rescue that late at night. Truth be told he must have thought I was a ditz since he didn't even humor me the next day with a reply. Plus I felt stupid for even asking him so I sent another text saying I had it all sorted out.

So today I paid for all the yummy treats of the past weekend at the gym with Latina and her hubby. Today was "Legs day." I'm sure I'll feel it tomorrow, which is why I love working out with those two. Masochistic? Perhaps. But at least you know something is working.

However, then we killed off all that good work. Latina and hubby, Civic and his adorable doggie, and I drove down to Cochrane for some fabulous Mackay's ice cream. Flavor of the day was Halo Halo, much to Civic's and my surprise (a Filipino shaved ice dessert...served in ice cream form in the middle of white-bred Alberta?), but when I got to the counter to order us some of it they were all sold out. So I ended up getting Civic a Dutch Apple Pie (you simply can't go wrong) and I got myself a Tiramisu. So. Good. Back to the gym on Wednesday though.

Like I said, lots of togetherness. Lots of good times. I can't wait to have my bike up and running. It's just too bad that we have to work tomorrow. But at least it's only four days!