Reese Witherspoon claimed it was "the bible" in Legally Blonde

From last month's Cosmo; a suggested conversation starter:

*clears throat* "Brides from the Calabari tribe in southeastern Nigeria go to fattening farms before their weddings where they're fed mucho food and massaged into rounder shapes."

Is that what I'm doing wrong? Should I be coercing my "extra luggage" towards my butt to further my efforts in achieving a more prominent, more rounder, backside? "Curioser and curioser..." thought Alice.

This could be worth some further looking-into.

You know what sucks about having a flat Asian butt? No bottoms want to stay up. Nothing. No matter how big the rest of you is. A particular offending style of clothing are low-rise anything. Low-rise underwear have nothing to cling to. As a result, they shimmy themselves down till it's beyond ridiculous and one has to wonder why she bothered wearing underwear in the first place if it's not going to stay where it should. And while low-rise jeans fit me nicer due to my high-waistedness, I'm constantly having to hitch them up as they wriggle down. Either that or wear a belt, but belts cut the line continuity so I prefer not to sport them.

Plus, in my endeavors to create a bigger butt, the end result was a catastrophe. *sigh* Perhaps the only viable option is to get implants. *shudders*

What is a girl to do??? All I want is to have something for my pants/shorts/etc to hold onto. Is that too much to ask?

Will I ever get to hear "Baby Got Back" dedicated to me?