You should be dancing, yeah!

Last night was much needed, it's been a while since I've stepped into a club. Almost a month! Yikes, I'm averaging a club night a month now, goodness I'm getting old.

It's never a dull night at the clubs though. Last time it was Flamingo. Time before that was the Roxbury incident. This night wasn't going to be an exception.

An old co-worker, Ms. T, found me at my agency as she was walking about during her lunch break last week. (It's amazing how many people find me at the agency.) We had lunch on Thursday and then she mentioned how it was her birthday weekend and her boyfriend was blowing it off. Thinking I could help her celebrate her birthday proper I suggested us girls go out on Friday night.

Ever the trooper, Daisy was there. Unfortunately, Special K couldn't make it and Ms. T didn't want to go pick up her friend all the way in the north. A party of 3, not very big, but manageable.

Originally we weren't very motivated to stray very far from home and as I am completely anti-Outlaws the next viable venue was Metro. However when we got there we weren't feeling the scene so we bounced before even stepping out of the car.

Where to next? Coyote's? Coyote's it is!

Yes, Coyote's was where I got Roxbury'd. But the place has always been a fave of mine, and I wasn't dolled up to get into any of the other favorites. (Just my lowrise jeans, wedge-heel sandals, and my famous "I Make Good Boys Bad" tank top) Besides, there were some bad vibes I needed to exorcise from my last jaunt to Coyote's.

Turning a corner in the parking lot we almost got into a collision with a "john." Yes, I'm ashamed to admit it, the weather was too nice for the hookers to pass up and there were a couple of them in the vicinity around the club. Apparently the john was really anxious to get some action 'cuz he didn't even seem fazed that he nearly plowed into Ms. T's car. Vengeance was ours when he peeled away in shock upon realizing the girl he was trying to hire was actually a guy. Yuppers, Calgary is now in the big leagues. We're up there with Toronto now. (My cousin's Toronto apartment is in a neighborhood notorious for transvestite hookers. It throws you off initially, but they don't bother you so it's alright.)

Coyote's was a bit dead, but it was quite alright with me 'cuz otherwise it would've been too warm in there. ANNNNND...no dipstick DJ this night! Oh no! The music was lovely and perfect. There were a few standouts on the dancefloor; Mr. Twinkletoes and RuPaul. Mr. Twinkletoes stood out 'cuz it was very clear he knew how to dance very well, but to the point where he was overdancing. I don't know if that makes any sense. The music that was playing and the crowd he was dancing with did not merit the moves he was throwing down on the dancefloor. I'm pretty sure he's had serious training, like maybe even ballroom dancing. His legs moved very salsa-like.

RuPaul, contrary to what her "nickname" would have you believe, was not another cross-dresser. I dubbed her that simply because her version of dancing was a series of poses. I wish I could re-enact it for you all. Let's see if I can explain this. Jut your hips to the left, place your hands on your shoulders. Jut your hips to the right, now place your hands on your chest. Hips are back to the left, put one hand on your hip. Now do that same thing but on the opposite side. Very "Supermodel"-like. (I can't think of any of the lyrics right now.) Either that or a slow mannequin-esque version of that pre-school classic "Head and shoulders, knees and toes." And no, I'm not being an overcritical little snot on this one. A lot of other people noticed RuPaul, not just me.

They also had a ballot box for a trip for 2 to Hedonism. *jumps up and down giddily* Here's hoping! Not sure who I'd take if I won, though.

I was a fairly good girl. Growing up, you know! Had two Bacardi Silvers and a Cowboy Cocksucker shooter and that was good enough to carry me through the night.

Unfortunately, I wasn't ready to leave but Ms. T wanted to spy on her man. She was almost certain they were at the Back Alley. So guess where Leah went next??? No! Can it be??? Leah at the "Crack Alley?"

Yes *hangs her head in embarassment*

It's a sad state of affairs when you have to pay cover charge for a scuzzy bar and all you get for your entrance fee is a lot of grabbing and leery looks and all-out molestation. One guy even had the nerve to grab me around the waist and pull me onto his lap. *shudders* What makes it worse is we didn't even find her guy there. All that trouble and disgustingness for naught.

You know where he was? At the Drink. So I guess it was a hidden blessing that we hadn't gotten all dressed up as that was going to be my next suggestion if we had been dressed more appropriately.

I don't like being an audience to couple spats but there's nowhere to go within a car. (We picked them up from the Drink.) No offence to Ms. T's choice of company, but she deserves a lot better. Even though he behaved himself at the bar he comes across as a really immature guy, especially for his age. Suffice it to say that I had heard and seen enough of his behaviour during the short time he was in the car to make such a judgment call.

Anyways, I need to get back out on the dancefloor as I didn't get enough during the time we spent at Coyote's. It felt so good to be back out there grooving again. Perhaps next weekend.

And speaking of clubs; July 5th is this year's Stampede Club Crawl. Provided that they don't play that much country I'm thinking I'll be there. I promise I won't wear any Daisy Dukes, that would probably be horrifying. But you may get to see me in a cowboy hat. How often does that happen?