All I want is to be able to eat my calamari in peace.

Tuesday and Wednesday I got to get away from the H-Lady for my lunch.

I have never mentioned H-Lady until now. Ever since I've started picking up more daytime shifts she's wanted to spend common lunch breaks together. I don't mean to be anti-social, but those breaks are sacred to me...it's my moment to power shop, catch up on errands, it's me time. Sometimes I've brought along a book that I'd like to read further into during my break...I'd really rather read my good book than have to make small talk. But how can you gently relay that to a woman who appears to be socially starving?

She really is a sweet person, but I wouldn't consider her to be my type of people. There are some days when I dread spending my lunch with her simply because I'm not in the mood for being in her company.

For one thing, and I don't mean this to sound age-ist and all, but she is 12 years my senior. There's nothing wrong with that, except for the fact that I feel as if I'm more mature than her most of the time. That's so wrong! My mental picture of a 36 year old individual is someone who is wise; who understands the human relationship even more than I do due to more experience. Someone who has lived 36 years of their life should be able to pass down little wisdom-nuggets to the little whipper-snappers who they talk to. I expect her to be able to carry fabulous conversations with me. But instead sometimes I feel like I'm chatting with a 16 year old.

The most trivial example I can give to you all is this:
Her and I will often go to Opa! for lunch. Most of the time I'll order the calamari caesar just because I'm a calamari fiend (and a tzatziki whore). But when she happens to order it she'll pick out half of the calamari. Why? 'cuz she can't stand the thought of eating "feet." Since when do squid have feet? I can understand some people's hesitation to eat the tentacle-y part (*giggles* a different word came into mind as I was typing that...yes, I'm dumb.) 'cuz if it's not cooked right it gets tough, and if it's tough it goes down scratchy and that's none too pleasant. But Opa! makes some of the most tender, yummy calamari I've ever had...and that's amazing considering their fast food kiosk status. So, yes, Opa! calamari is not tough and throat-scratching. Still, I won't mind if you don't eat all of yours...I realize it may look bizarre...but if you call them feet then there's just no helping you at all.

That was the most useless example I could have possibly given.

My biggest gripe is hearing about her love-life (relationship-life?) Whenever she gets on about it I just want to scream in frustration. When I first had lunch with her, she told me about how she's divorced and she's 36. I figured, you know, that's alright...she's learned a lot about life by her experiences. But I swear she doesn't get it at all.

Her boyfriend is/was 22 years old. She met him at Outlaws or one of those bars I don't like for those exact reasons. In all honesty I don't even know if they were really going out, 'cuz from the sounds of it he doesn't take her seriously either. Maybe it was never a relationship, maybe it was just a hookup gone horribly awry.

Anyway, he used to insult her and mock her when they were "going out." (See, I really don't know if I can take their relationship seriously.) She would complain about it all the time during lunch...and she would say that she tells him how much his behaviour hurts her blah blah blah, but you all know that it doesn't stop. So she keeps griping about it, and when I throw in my two cents about how he's not worth it and all the disrespect isn't right she goes silent with this glower on her face. As if to say that I'M the evil, crazy one. Clearly I'm not giving her the responses she's expecting...but there is no way I'm going to be all starry-eyed and dreamy like her. I don't think it would be right to reassure her with soothing b.s. like "I'm sure he didn't realize what he had said." or "Maybe he was just having a bad day and unfairly took it out on you." She's the older one, she should know better than that.

Anyway, since then she's broken it off a couple of times. And everyday that we work together I have to hear about how she drove by his house the other day to see what he's up to...or how he phones her and it's so "obvious" that he's only calling for one thing but, oops, there she goes inviting him over anyway. I'm sure he knows she's a joke and he's preying on that...and that makes me unbelievably sad for her. But like past instances with people I've known, they'll only hear what they want to hear. Nothing you do to try and make them open their eyes will ever work. I've given up telling her what I think of the situation, partly to avoid the steely glares (I wonder if she realizes she does that) and partly 'cuz I can't be bothered repeating what I've already said. And again, I stress, she's older so she should know about this kind of thing a lot more than I.

Her mom calls every once in a while...perhaps she's the only voice of reason that this woman hears in her head. But even her own mother's advice gets shoved aside.

Whenever she mentions her "boyfriend" during our lunches now I tend to tune out. Same old same old. I know it's rude but I'm getting tired of the repetition.

She's already bought him a Christmas present...has it wrapped and everything. "Hopefully (he)'ll be (her) boyfriend again by Christmas." I know it's counter-productive but I'm hoping the same for her, too. Just so I don't have to hear the following anymore:

"Have you noticed everyone is in couples? I mean, there are young couples and older couples all holding hands in the mall. Everybody has someone for the holidays."

Good lord. I want to hit her over the head with Homey's sock and cry out "Leah don't play dat!" But she'd probably glare at me for being a single person who's not all depressed over the upcoming festivities and merriment.

You know? I've never been sad for not having anyone Valentine's Day, Christmas, New Year's Eve. Maybe it's 'cuz I perhaps don't know what I'm missing, but I'd like to think it's 'cuz I'm content with all the love I have in the moment...whatever occasion that may be.

Which reminds me...I'd like to get a headstart on my baking this year! Lots of people on my goodies list.

It doesn't help that she seems to be notorious for picking guys that remind her of her "boyfriend." She went out on a date recently with this 20-year-old. The thought of someone older than me dating my brother (which is what I compare it to) creeps me out. And another day, when we went to the movie theatre to have Pizza Hut for lunch, she was flirting and making googly eyes with this guy playing Dance Dance Revolution. I would swear that DDR guy was skipping class right at that moment. So that's even worse in my books....I wouldn't consider dating anyone who graduated from high school after my brother or even at the same time as him. That would be like going out with someone who went to school with my baby sister! Oi vay.

Actually, I don't think it's the age gap that bothers me...I mean, love sees past that (if it's love). I'm having the most issue with the fact that she's going after guys who have, maybe, just started living on their own and becoming a man and blah blah blah...but when the two of them get together both of them are pretty much at par when it comes to level of maturity.

I don't want to be her when I'm older.