Downtown

Just listen to the music of the traffic in the city
Linger on the sidewalk where the neon signs are pretty
How can you lose?

The lights are much brighter there
You can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares and go
Downtown, things'll be great when you're
Downtown, no finer place for sure
Downtown, everything's waiting for you."
~ Downtown by Petula Clark

I needed to mail away my cell phone rebate and rather than just drop it in the mailbox down the street I decided to take a little jaunt during my day off.

So off I went, with a couple of invitations for this Sunday's Family and Friends day at my store, my cell phone mail, and an empty tummy. The plan was to visit my old coworkers at the agency, drop off my mail, and grab a falafel at Cedar's Deli (Cedar's has been voted the city's best falafel joint several years in a row and I'd have to agree wholeheartedly with the general consensus.)

In the short time I've been away from downtown I had almost forgotten how much I love it there.

The old boss was away on yet another vacation. This time to Turkey for a fam trip, husband in tow. I somewhat bit my lip in jealousy 'cuz Turkey was always my "thing" along with Puerto Rico. But whatever, she has the love and shared bank account of a prominent doctor AND she still has a travel agent's discount. I would do the same as her given the chance.

And again I bit my lip in jealousy and frustration seeing the most recent practicum student sitting in what used to be my desk. Obviously they hired her after her practicum when I burnt my bridges after they laid me off. Last time I visited she was about to have an interview with Club Med for a position as a program coordinator. I guess that fell through. Apparently they didn't let her handle much during her practicum; she had to ask a lot of questions while she was completing a booking. It's amazing how fresh the knowledge still is in my mind but I kept my mouth shut and let them go over it themselves.

The new girl looks a lot like Ellen DeGeneres. There's nothing wrong with that, really...but I was just your average girl and I had my own fan-base at that agency. I had business guys come in and seek me out specifically 'cuz I always look cheery through the window, or so I've been told. I brought business into the company, baby! What do you bring? Alright, that's mean...but it made me feel a bit better. :)

Sitting there with them also reminded m of why I was better off never coming back to work there. I don't need all that mess. I feel bad for them...they deserve better. Part of me was kicking myself 'cuz I could be making better money than I am earning right now if I had just expressed any interest of returning to the agency...but then I'd be trapped and "comfortable" and I would have even less motivation for finding myself a better spot in this world. When they laid me off I packed up everything from my desk despite my boss' insistence that it was not necessary. That, to me, meant that they were only laying me off to save themselves money and were going to hire me again come September when the practicum student was finished and work was piling up again. I can't live like that. I'm not some disposable, you can't just drop me when it's in your best interest and then pick me up again when it's convenient for you. There was no way I was going to risk having that happen to me again during another lull, like after Christmas.

No, I deserve better. I should have better.

I would have better if only I'd actually pursue more openings. Semi-unemployment is getting way too comfortable and I know it's worrying my parents. Trouble is, I'm not finding any jobs that I find interesting.

Or I could just work harder at finding myself a sugardaddy. :)