The circle of friends

Posie sent me this email foward the other day:

When I was little, I used to believe in the concept of one best friend, and then I started to become a woman. And then I found out that if you allow your heart to open up, God would show you the best in many friends. One friend is needed when you're going through things with your man. Another friend is needed when you're going through things with your mom. Another when you want to shop, share, heal, hurt, joke, or just be. One friend will say let's pray together, another let's cry together, another let's fight together, another let's walk away together. One friend will meet your spiritual need, another your shoe fetish, another your love for movies, another will be with you in your season of confusion, another will be your clarifier, another the wind beneath your wings. But whatever their assignment in your life, on whatever the occasion, on whatever the day, or wherever you need them to meet you with their gym shoes on and hair pulled back, or to hold you back from making a complete fool of yourself ... those are your best friends. It may all be wrapped up in one woman, but for many it's wrapped up in several ... one from 7th grade, one from high school, several from the college years, a couple from old jobs, several from church, on some days your mother, on others your sisters, and on some days your daughters. So whether they've been there 20 minutes or 20 years, Pass this on to the women that God has placed in your life to make a difference.

Now I wish I had copied that newspaper article from the other day about how there is a new trend of women "dumping" their friends. Try as I might, I can never escape being a part of trends. Funny how that works.

I think those closest to me will know who I'm talking about when I mention dumping a friend. Truth be told, this is the second time I've dumped her. Maybe her story would be different, who's to say. I admit I didn't dump her in a very mature fashion this time around...silent treatment is so childish...but I'm afraid that if I had to talk it out with her I'd just end up exploding.

If you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all.

I've been warned that my actions may come across as jealousy and a childish inability to cope, but I think it's just bad timing. I'll just let them think whatever they want.

But obviously I'll say my piece here.

The email Posie forwarded to me and the newspaper article gave me a lot to think about regarding all my friends. With impeccable timing, Sunny also sent out an email regarding Sexy Eyes, which brought Sunny back into the picture.

It's not that either one of us intentionally fail to communicate or see each other on a regular basis. It's just the way our schedules and life circumstances have dealt out our friendship. Same thing with Aqua Angel. But I still know that if ever I had more questions about cancer or just need someone "fresh" to talk to, that Sunny will be there with some help. Same thing with Aqua Angel and other issues (guys, mostly *tee hee*) and concerns. It makes the little time I get to spend with those girls even sweeter. And I would hope that they know that I'm there for them in any capacity I can manage as well.

So yes, as per the email, there are certain friends that you can rely on for certain things. It's practically impossible to find all that in one person. Which is why I find the uber-romantics a little lacking in the noggin department when they think that one man/woman can become their entire world.

But I'm getting off-point.

Then there are the people who you simply go through the motions with, for whatever reasons you two may have. I remember one night when mr. guy and I had coffee, he was warning me about all my talk of how far back some of my friends and I go. I believe he had the impression that I was equating the number of years with how good of a friend that person is in my life. Well, I'm sorry but I definitely know better than that. Little did I know how ironically timed our conversation would be.

I'm sure I've already said this before, but it kills me to know that someone who's been somewhat a part of my life for over half of it can know so little about me. That they couldn't really care to get to know me that well after all that time. I'm not saying that it kills me emotionally (that is completely over the top melodrama right there), but I'm just frustrated with myself for not seeing it earlier.

There are friends whom I've known for a far shorter amount of time, whom I get to see only sporadically, that I would run to or confide in in a heartbeat. Better still is that they treat me with the respect and dignity that everyone deserves. I am frustrated at all the wasted time I have spent on that particular girl. Heaven only knows that that time would have been much better spent with those that actually care and those that I actually care for.

Does this mean that I think this girl is evil incarnate? No. She's just not the type of friend I need nor want in my life. And I'm sure that she feels the same way, so there shouldn't be any hard feelings between us two. Obviously there are those that can find friendship with her. It takes all different kinds of people. But for me, personally? She's fired. (And yes, I know that that Apprentice line is old and tired but, come on, you have to admit I don't use it often)