"It's no mystery why you're ruling me"

I had the stupendous fortune of seeing Weezer perform live for the first time in. my. life. It was everything I thought it would be, hoped it would be, dreamed it would be. And when Rivers came back onto the stage and yelled out "Calgaryyyyyyyy! We're on an island..." My little happy heart could do nothing more but dance in joy, though I felt like I was the only one who whooped up as I knew what song he was referring to (does noone else adore "Island in the Sun?!") I was euphoric. But I had something else in mind for this post. I just wanted to share before I began.

So Civic asked me if I wanted to go to Beano that night...but it was Weezer-night! But if he was willing to wait till later baby sis and I would meet him there. The only reason why I wanted to go to the festival was to see Weezer in all their nerdy fabulosity so as soon as they finished I would have no issues with leaving the grounds early and heading over to 17th. So that's what we did. By the way, I finally got to try out The Big Cheese. I'm a major poutine fan, and this place has great fries and poutine toppings, but unless you are going to share or you have been starving for days I highly recommend not getting the large. Sure, it's only 2 dollars more, and that's how they hook you in, but you seriously do NOT need it.

Anyway, so Civic asked me how I dealt with Aidan and his girlfriend. I admitted I didn't have to deal with it; that he (Aidan) made the move for me and cut me out of all his profiles/circles ('cuz that's how we roll, yo) And so it turns out that the little lady Civic is into wants to be friends. Ah, that word. Everyone in their group tells him that this couple aren't going to last, but as Civic says - that's of little consequence to him. And thus we discussed our reluctance/fears of becoming the "Plan B" with our "friends."

Oh, and if you've never heard of The Ladder Theory then check it out, though it's pretty ancient internet-wise. It used to make me laugh back in university.

So 'cuz baby sis was with us we didn't discuss much about his situation. But can a friendship ever succeed when one party started out wanting more? And if she did break up with her guy and wanted to give Civic a shot -- although we both agreed that it would be pretty insulting -- could he honestly find it in himself to turn her down?

Of course I had to think of myself and Aidan on the drive home. Not that I don't think about it too much as it is. Way too petrified to ask if this could ever be anything more. And once it's over I'll be uber sad... but at least I will know who to blame (for those who don't follow; I'm talking about myself.) Of little consolation, I realize, when the time comes but I know I won't b.s. myself.

Or will I? Latina has brought on the drama again with the bouncer douche. I respect the fact that's she's a grown woman and can make her own decisions, but I cannot understand why this guy is still in her life. And not because he has wedged himself in there, but because she keeps pulling him in! I always get these heartbroken messages about how he stood her up again, how he told her again about how he would not be a good boyfriend for her, again how he cannot give her what she wants. The major emphasis should be placed on the word "again." This is nothing new. And everytime I suggest she scrap him there's always some caveat like "I'll give him another week to say something, and if he doesn't then I'll say my goodbye." AGAIN.

I understand the great wish to make something work, to hope that things will become more. I honestly get that. But when a guy tells you he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you or he stands you up...I mean...guys don't usually play mind-fuck games. They say what they mean and their actions are clear and intentional. There is no "playing hard to get" in man-world. He says "no" it means "no." But what guy would turn down some "fun" if it's being offered to him even after he's laid out all his cards? By no means is he innocent, but you can't say he ever lied about his status. She claims he led her on, and as much as I want to believe her based on what she's told me about the guy I'm not so convinced he did. Yes, it was shady of him to still, you know, with her after admitting he's seeing the ex again. But in her love(?)blind state she wasn't Jiminy Cricket in the situation either. I'm sure he thinks he did nothing wrong. He gave her his terms, she still went after him anyway. (I mean, like I'm ever going to hear his side of the story, right? Do I even need to? I'm HER friend, and she can tell me whatever she wants with her own spin on it but frankly I don't think she has fabricated any of this to paint her own side of things in a better light. She's not the type...and plus I don't see how it would make her side look better with what she's told me) She says the gf probably doesn't even know about her. BUT HOW DOES THAT MAKE THIS SITUATION ANY BETTER? I'm tired of it. I want to be there for her but when the same drama keeps coming up over and over again and she doesn't listen to what he says, doesn't listen to what I say, I'm sure she doesn't listen to what the others say...I just want to let go of the rope. It's draining trying to save someone who doesn't save themself.

But as I asked before: can I confidently say I would never get myself in that jam? Obviously it's easier noticing these things when you're outside of the relationship looking in. Though I'd like to think I would hear what my friends are telling me and take their words to heart. And if a guy point-blank told me that it was never going to be me...that I'd have the wits and sanity to just walk away. There is nothing hopelessly romantic in laying yourself out on the road for someone over and over again if they don't even register that you're there.