And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know

So I dropped the ball again. So much has happened, and yet I never get around to writing. This is only, what, my 6th crane?! I have a looong way to go to 1000.

Where did I leave off? Oh yeah, don't you worry your pretty little heads. I never went out with that guy (still don't have a moniker for him, not that it matters anymore) again. I told him I didn't want to waste his time or his money. That sounds kind of pimpish but what else would you call paying for someone else's video game play other than a waste of money?

And I've turned another year older. Imagine my sadness when, as I was reading all my birthday greetings on a popular social media site I was also stumbling upon those same friends mourning an elementary school classmate on his social media page. Another numbing aspect: his birthday was only 3 days away from my own. His mom has always remembered me throughout the years so it was only right that I went to pay my condolences to her and the rest of his family. It was awkward; this was the first funeral I had ever attended on my own. It wasn't family, so I did not have any family with me...and time has made my elementary friends and I so far removed from each other all the comfort I got/gave was a hug with one true childhood friend. Surreal. I know it's unrealistic but after a spurt of deaths amongst my peers at a young age I almost felt we were now untouchable until we got into a more elderly phase. So wrong.

That kind of brings me to my next order of business. May 27th will mark the 10th anniversary of my completed radiation therapy. I consider that to mean 10 years of being cancer-free. That being said, I should be well into living my "adult" life now. But that hasn't happened. Where's this partnership? Where are my children? Blah. Taking stock of everything that's going on I also realize it has been almost 7 years of knowing Aidan...with nothing really going anywhere. Smarter girls would have focused their efforts elsewhere a long time ago; I guess I was stupid optimistic. I even had a flub and he saw my profile on dating site X last month. If he were interested he would have done something at that point, I'm sure. I should really update those profiles anyway...I have no idea what's on them anymore.

So I have tried to find someone new. There was/is a guy I have a bizarre crush on through work. I say bizarre because I have never met the guy in person. It is also dangerous to crush on someone through work because too much information about these crushes are at your disposal. At the risk of crossing unethical boundaries I emailed him from my personal email with my friends and colleagues cheering me on (no, they did not help me write the email...this is not sixth grade). Almost a week without hearing from him I figured it was a busted attempt....but then he replied! Dare I say it sounded kind of flirty and encouraging to me. So, as per dating-games protocol I waited a few days before writing back. And now? Nothing. It's been more than a week. My colleague says it's just him being busy but I don't know. That's too textbook "He's Just Not That Into You" for me. I suppose at least I (sort of) tried?