*sigh* Enough time has passed that I think I can mention this without getting all melodramatic. I acted on the dream I had - for once, put myself on the line (which was new and refreshing, but still) -- and got hurt. I am hurt. It's going to suck for a while, I'm sure, but I don't regret making myself vulnerable like that. I think I've masked myself for too long now. And, twisted as it may seem, it's nice to know that I can be sad. Plus, it wasn't just the one incident because getting hurt has moved me to reach out to my friends. I'm sharing my feelings. Whodathunkit? Maybe the "aloof, unavailable ice queen" is thawing out. :) So long as I don't turn into a chronic sob-story, that's all I'm asking.
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Ordinary People It's been a while since I've posted lyrics in here. Now there's two in a row. Being a piano student for so long, I still appreciate those who create lovely music with just a keyboard (but as always I'm biased...more Alicia Keys, Stevie Wonder, NO Diana Krall) That being said, I love this song. It's in my personal life soundtrack and will always bring back memories. Ordinary People by John Legend from Get Lifted (2004) Girl, I'm in love with you But this ain't the honeymoon We've passed the infatuation phase We're right in the thick of love At times we get sick of love It seems like we argue every day I know I misbehaved And you made your mistakes And we've both still got room left to grow And though love sometimes hurts I still put you first And we'll make this thing work But I think we should take it slow We're just ordinary people We don't know which way to go Cause we're ordinary people Maybe we should take...
Think Twice... Alright, if you've known me for quite a while now you ought to know that I love Groove Armada. Aural sex. Right. A lot of their songs sound like great "sexy" songs...a different position maybe, more passionate one song, maybe more savoring/exploring in another. Anyway... Think Twice... popped up on my iPod on the way home today. I'm ashamed to admit I forgot about this song for a while. It was one of my favorites for the longest time. Initially, I thought I would want this song played at my funeral, as morbid as that sounds. Except that the lyrics get pretty cheesy and weak near the end. Plus, if people stopped to listen to the lyrics they might think I died bitter, which I am avoiding at all costs. Despite the lyrics ruining it in the end I've always imagined it'd be a good song for sex. Sex. Death. There must be a reason why the French call an orgasm "le petit mort." When I listen to it I can imagine exactly what I'm...
Youth, poof Friday night started pleasantly enough. I was in very good company right out of work...and the Flames were holding their own...and then the evening turned into one big mess after that. Dinner didn't last very long but I suppose that's alright. It was nice enough just to even have the time to get together. Afterwards I headed for Daisy's place to catch the rest of the game. But by the time I had arrived the game was over and we had lost :( One of those few occasions where my iPod mini just doesn't do enough for me. No radio. Who ever thought I'd need radio?! The Redhead had called inviting me and my crew (which would be Daisy, Flag-girl wasn't feeling well) to the Roadhouse. Good God, the Roadhouse. (Rumor has it the Roadhouse is the easiest place in the city to obtain crack cocaine...not that I would know first-hand.) They all know I hate that place, but I'm a trouper. Seeing as I was outnumbered I came with, but not without a bit of ...
Mish-Mash The Flames just keep on winning. It's so hot! As if I can't stress it enough, I Ang , keep BF away from the 'Dome! Haha.) Last month I finally got around to picking up a copy of Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden at the bookstore. As I get deeper into it I am absolutely falling in love with this book! I'm not sure what I can say about it other than it's poetic and gorgeous. The Motorcycle Diaries (I picked it up at the same time) by Ernesto "Che" Guevara was poetic as well, but it didn't have the same effect as Memoirs of a Geisha. And now I find out, though maybe I knew this from a while ago and just failed to remember, that Memoirs of a Geisha is turning into a movie. I wasn't sure how I felt about this at first. This book is so vivid in my mind I couldn't imagine how any movie could do it in any justice...and I was afraid they would botch it up. But I took a look at the trailer and I must admit I'm excited now. O...
Seeing color Your Power Color Is Red-Orange At Your Highest: You are warm, sensitive, and focused on your personal growth. At Your Lowest: You become defensive and critical if you feel attacked. In Love: You are loyal - but you demand the respect you deserve. How You're Attractive: You are very affectionate and inspire trust. Your Eternal Question: "Am I Respected?" What's Your Power Color? I don't know if I like the color, but the description is so me right now.
Baby boom My family has done it again...everything comes in 2s or 3s. November 9, my cousin gave birth to her first child, a baby boy. 7 pounds, 13 ounces. I can't wait to meet the little guy. November 11 at 3am, my aunt gives birth to her second child and my godson's new baby brother. And it keeps going and going and going...
Group hug When I was a young girl I typed out this huge long list, with quirky fonts for each point, of 100 reasons why Posie was my best friend and I slipped it in with her Christmas present. She then returned the favor, and topped it, with 101 reasons why I was her best friend when my birthday came around. Sure it was cheesy but hey, even today thinking about those lists always makes me smile. Nowadays, with work and just plain old growing up, there isn't as much time to get together. There are a lot of days in between when we get to talk or see each other. Deep down I still see her as one of my best friends but from an outsider's point of view her and I must not appear very close to one another. I see Daisy and the Usual Suspects more often than I see Posie, and she goes out with A-Girl more often than her and I get together. Maybe you could say we're no longer a major force in one another's lives but I think we've just settled into the comforting notion th...
Flight Despite having avoided horror movies for years now, my imagination still gets the best of me and I spook easily. Maybe even more easily now than ever. I can't explain it. Halloween night some past coworkers of mine and I decided to go out and have some fun in costume. They had mentioned heading to Project X but I was hoping they would think of something less scary to do. But they're big fans of the spooky side of Halloween so I was held hostage in the car. Just hearing the "scary" music as we approached the complex creeped me out. Me being a big baby my coworkers volunteered to "protect" me, one on each side, while I clung to their arms needily. As we walked the path to the first part of the evening's experience a grim reaper-type stood sombrely a little ways ahead of us. Seeing as we had not entered into the actual buildings yet I just assumed he was a guide to let us know where to go. But no! All of a sudden he bolted towards us full spe...
Fight Saturday was the Monster Ball and despite all our planning and inviting only 4 of us went: Daisy, myself, Latina, and Flag-girl. We were an adorable set, with Daisy as a seductive chic witch (in one of my dresses :) just had to point that out), Latina as a smoking devil, Flag-girl as one of Gunther's Sunshine Girls, and me as a cop. I couldn't find my guns, though. :( The Monster Ball was held at ArtCentral , a fairly new art gallery downtown. While I'm not usually one to stand for hours in front of art pieces discussing "what does it all mean?" I wanted to get the girls trying out something new 'cuz I'm feeling a bit too old for the club crawl (though Daisy still digs it) and I'm tired of all the 18-year-old skanks and drunken tough guys that usually go on those things. Two things that got my attention about the Monster Ball: absinthe bar and retro 80s music. The 80s music DJ...well, I could have done better with my iPod, to be honest. T...
My life as a sitcom What a week. Last Tuesday, Daisy and I decided to try an Indo-shaman-funk dance class. It was a fusion of Bollywood dance with Jazz. Put that together with my new nose piercing and I felt like I was on audition for Bollywood Idol. Friday night after work I was waiting for the bus when this guy started chatting with me. He asked for my number and he seemed harmless so I gave it to him without much thought. Little did I know. So Saturday came around and with it was the night of the Monster Ball. He called earlier in the day (3 times! But only leaving a voicemail once...caller ID) asking if I'd like to join him for dinner but I had already bought my tickets with my friends and I wasn't going to miss a good party so I left him a polite message declining the offer. I then realized I was dealing with a new version of mr guy on my hands. Saturday night was crazy, but I'll save that for another time. Sunday, during my brother's basketball game he aga...
My nose So, uh, I got my nose pierced on Saturday. It wasn't a scheduled appointment or anything, it was just one of those things that happened simply 'cuz I had the time. (I tell you again, left to my own devices...) Problem is, I wanted one for years and I thought a little rhinestone/diamond would be cute on my nose. And now that I've got it, I'm having second thoughts. For all my "research" into the matter a long time ago now I'm thinking of other situations that I hadn't thought of before. For instance, I should be due for an MRI early next year, but the piercer assured me I'd be ready to take it out by then, or even switch it with a plastic retainer (like that's attractive.) And for the next little while I'll be too scared to apply my face scrub or anything like that. Plus I have a followup appointment with my head and neck doctor next month. I don't know if my piercing will be an inconvenience on his look-over. :( Never ...
Sake to me Forgive the pun; the chef at Sushi Kinjo made me and my family groan with that one last time we were there. But hey, never turn down a free cup of sake. :) So last night after work I was left to my own devices since the Usual Suspects had plans of their own for the evening. With no other people calling me up with plans, and never being one to just chill at home on a Friday night (yes, you may point out that I'm at home on a Saturday night, shush) I ended up going out for dinner with a cryptanalysis guy (we'll call him CG) who was in town on business. I wouldn't call it a date since there were no real signs that it was a date. CG just doesn't know anyone in Calgary and, as he pointed out, the clients he was working with here weren't the "fun type." I was debating all week if I was going to go and meet him or not. I haven't been chatting with him for very long (yes, another guy from the internet, so sue me) and I'm usually slower an...
Pick it up I had a day off today and finally arranged doctors' appointments galore. I booked an appointment for my physical and checkup with my doctor. It'll also give me the opportunity to ask for a referral for a breast reduction consultation. It's time to stop talking about it and actually, earnestly, look into it. My dentist dropped the ball and hadn't set up my annual checkup (which should've been last month) so I had to call them myself and get an apppointment made. I also had to make a follow-up/checkup appointment with my head and neck specialist (the doctor who performed my parotidectomy)...that was totally my fault. If I were to follow my follow-up schedule I should have seen him back in August. Oops. And the only reason I remembered that was because my appointment at the Tom Baker came in the mail last week. So I booked my cancer dentist appointment now, too. It's kind of weird; last year my oncologist mentioned that this upcoming appointme...
Thankful So while you Americans celebrate Columbus Day we celebrate our Thanksgiving. And while family can get pretty crazy at times, at least we have quite a lot of relatives living in the city so getting together is pretty easy. Saturday was a surprise baby shower for one of my cousins, and while I didn't really feel like going I tagged along with the familia since I respect this cousin a lot. I think our family is a really tough one to "break into" and I don't think she gets enough credit for putting up with us. :) But hopefully the shower was a way of showing her that she's very welcome in our family. She must have got that impression, or maybe it was baby-brain making her kind of mushy since she was overwhelmed to tears. And as much as I love turkey I did not have any that night. I needed to pace myself and I didn't want to overdo it before the weekend was over. Which was a smart idea since my godmother held turkey dinner over at her house the next n...
Drive This past Friday was Baby Sis' birthday so on my way home I called Weird Kid and asked him what was the plan. Originally I had been thinking we would take her to Denny's and then go to Canyon Meadows to catch a movie. Now before you start thinking we're cheap :) Denny's is one of Baby Sis' favorite places to snack. It's a treat she does not get to have very often unlike Weird Kid and I who end up there with friends regularly since there aren't very many places open so late at night. We planned on seeing Deuce Bigelow: European Gigolo at Canyon Meadows since it wasn't playing at the regular theatres anymore and we couldn't think of any regular features that would be of any interest to Baby Sis. Besides, we were going to have a birthday blow-out for her the next day at Cheesecake Cafe. So instead of Denny's (though we still ended up treating her there at the end of the night) Weird Kid and Baby Sis picked me up at the train station and,...
It's about that time again The other night I went to a lingerie party with a past co-worker of mine. I like teddies, don't own any yet. I like sheer chemises and bustiers and merry widows as much as the next girl. I'm dying to own a corset made just for me. The problem is, until my chest is more proportional to the rest of me then I don't really feel like buying any of this stuff. How does Pamela Anderson pull it off? Then I found out that this co-worker had her boobs reduced last year. Another satisfied convert. And another surgeon to look into. Aqua Angel and I talked about this earlier, and it seems like more and more women are opting to reduce their chest sizes. Plus, they're very happy with the results. I have no doubt that I'd be happy with the "new" me once I get it done. It's just all the stuff leading up to that happy day that freaks me out. But she also pointed out that I'd have a waiting period to psyche myself up for the s...
My secret life I thought I was reserved, bordering on secretive. Everyone knows that it takes me forever, and I do mean forever to open up to people. "Aloof, unavailable ice queen." ~ Bridget Jones' Diary. That quote came up during a discussion this past weekend. They weren't necessarily referring to me, mind you, but I wouldn't be surprised if that's the vibe I give off sometimes. But when I finally open up to others, do I share too much of myself? I was thinking about this the other day. Everyone knows that you shouldn't kiss and tell...my best friend is good at keeping this rule somehow. However, thinking of the past few events lately, it feels like I've shared news with a lot of people. I've been seeking out opinions, soliciting suggestions, hell, I may as well have written everything in here. But I won't do that. So did I go too far? Did I breach someone's trust? I hope I haven't, but a gut feeling I have says that some...
Yes or no I always thought I was a realist when it comes to love and romance. My tastes, however, tell a different story. I like romantic comedies. They make you feel good, right? And I love love LOVE ballads. Boyz II Men will always have a special place in my heart, and not much can compare to a good Al Green song or even Toni Braxton. "You complete me." "I wanna be living for the love of you." "You make me feel brand new." Yeah, I'm addicted to all that mushy stuff. But then...THEN...when I see it in real life I'm convinced it can't be real. Like when Ryan wrote and recited all that poetry for Trista (Bachelorette, fyi) I was practically rolling my eyes. Who does that??? And the Aidan I had...or maybe I didn't really ever have my Aidan...where did he come from? Aren't guys like him only supposed to be a myth? If they are a myth then maybe Ryan and Aidan do what they do because they know it'll get them results. I don...
Pooped Another weekend come and gone. I picked up my cell phone and instead of replacing my cell phone as I thought they were going to do they only changed the front housing and re-attached the wires that got torn. And this took them two months! *shakes her head* I never made it to Expo Latino on Saturday. Instead Civic and I went out for some Greek over at Ouzo. As usual Daisy wouldn't be ready to join up with us for a while so we walked around 4th Street and 17th Avenue as well. Mercato was open when we walked by (for once!) AND they had cannoli! They also had a different-looking tiramisu but after searching for a cannoli for years I opted for option number 1. To go, of course, 'cuz I was sooo full from dinner. The old Mortal Coil is completely gutted and desolate. It's heart-wrenching. In it's place will be Bistro 2112 or something like that. Like we need another Bistro around here. Tubby Dog over on 17th, while having the same kind of idea as Le Chien Cha...