Bellini-induced Brain Freeze

This past weekend was baby sis' birthday weekend and as luck would have it there were quite a few shows to treat her to. Her best friend took her to Cirque de Soleil's Kooza - which worked out well since I am not a fan. Then on Friday us siblings went out to the Calgary Philharmonic's tribute to Michael Jackson: Thriller. On Saturday, baby sis and I joined up with some friends and took in Mamma Mia at the Jubilee. A music-filled weekend! Not only did it involve songs that I adore but it lit a fire under one of my true loves: music. Listening to the orchestra and watching them perform under their conductor brought out the eternal band geek in me. As much as I griped about the practices back in high school I would love to relive those times now. I haven't touched my saxophone in a loooooong time. The same goes for my piano, I rarely play the keys anymore. Now that my life is back to happiness and sunshine I can only imagine how much more joyful it would be if I b...

I have found myself in a deep and sad little funk as of late...and who knew it would be weight-related?! At my heaviest I didn't care about my size. I was happy, I loved clothes, I had fun and really did not see anything wrong with me. But since I "crossed over" I realized the thinner world was such a delicate place to be; I would almost say it lowered my self-esteem. The old Leah went on dates and enjoyed herself. Now she goes on fewer dates and worries that she looks awfully big compared to other girls these guys must have dated. And then she starts to wonder why they are even willing to go out with her. Was I a freak? Achieving a better body is supposed to build confidence, not shatter it. I thought I was awesome back in the day so what happened?! So then I figured there must be a happy medium. I all but gave up following my diet. It brought a little bit of joy back but not the right kind. As you will recall I was in a very toxic work situation so I tried to...

"Are you dating?" she asked. I replied "no" because that's the truth. Or at least I'm pretty sure it is. If we were dating I'd probably/hopefully see him more often and we would most likely have longer conversations...you know, that sort of thing. But what is scary is that I think nothing has changed in all these years. I'm still looking for more. Chances are I'm going to get hurt again. Need to nip this in the bud. I have been trying to meet up with other guys, and what is strange is that they are more my "type" but yet I still cannot seem to get very excited about it at all. Maybe I have been wrong about my type all along. Deep down I realize that doesn't make sense; I have more to talk about with these guys. I suppose until one of them asks me that one specific question I am pretty much fair game for anyone. But what then? Would I get excited about it then? So much for rainbows and unicorns. But if any of them say t...

Tonight, I did it. I signed up for a course in continuing education. A tad scared...not going to lie. It's been - let's just say a while - since I've done the textbook/homework/exam bit. And as excited as I am to start this journey I figured it would be best to pace myself and ease back into it. Hence, the (let's hope) easy-peasey ONE class this semester. But things are so different now. I was not working full time the last time I was in school. I was also more accustomed to studying and doing classwork back then. At any rate, what an adventure this is going to be! May I also add that since changing companies I've had a HUGE turnaround in my life. I knew my past job was toxic but I had no clue...none...how draining it was on me. This was where the whole "I have got to get out and do something better for myself...I deserve more" mission started to grow within me. Really, I should not have been surprised when I asked my former employer to consider ...

I watched dating drama unfold for a friend the other night. Hearing - secondhand - both sides of the tale made me contemplate how much of the drama we create for ourselves. Does it all stem from a common source? One thing I noticed right away was that we all deal with it differently. Maybe there are other factors uniqute to each situation but it seems clear to me that a lot of our drama is fueled by insecurity. Examples that come to mind: - Latina's recent dating scenario - Mr Guy the relationship addict and his domestic bliss - Myself - yes, I recognized (for the first time?!) that I harbor some insecurities Let's start with Mr Guy as he is the most dated example and it won't take long to break him down. My feeling was he was too insecure to be comfortable with his singledom. His track record BL (Before Leah)hinted at it from the get-go. Married, then long-term relationship, then engaged. After we met for the first time he vanished off the face of the Earth. You...

I read an article in today's newspaper and felt compelled to jump onto the soapbox that was once my blog. As many of you know, I'm not much of a follower in all things political/governmental so this will be more of an emotional response but I felt I had to say something. The article can be found here. but I have cut and paste the article at the bottom of this post in case this link ever disappears. A while ago I wrote about how I panicked when the Tom Baker Centre had decided that I had graduated out of my annual follow-up appointments. Reading today's article made me realize how very fortunate I had been - and for so long, too. I remember when I had my first appointment at the Tom Baker. Talk about a whirlwind. Following my parotidectomy they did a biopsy of my lump - standard procedure - and found it to be a bad guy. I don't think it was even a week after my surgeon told me the news and I was already walking into the Tom Baker with my parents to find out what wa...

I can't tell you the day when it happened, how it came to happen, or why it happened but at some point in my life I stopped looking down to see where I was going. For the most part looking up and ahead never failed. Yes, there were a couple of times when I would trip up here and there, but looking people square in the eye as you pass and scoping out the area where you were headed usually meant I was confident in my direction, in myself, and I would get there without incident. A couple of weeks ago I finally met Mijo after knowing him from the internet for 13 years. 13!!! That's insane. I've met other people much faster but then again they've come and gone. (I wonder what they're up to now?) But Mijo's always been there and now I've finally met him. It still boggles my mind thinking about it, actually. Anyway, I digress, he can be a whole other post entirely. So I had a whole whopping 4 hours or so to hang with Mijo and his lovely girlfriend and she...

As you can probably tell from my template I'm a huge Tokidoki nut. Funny thing is I probably would not have even heard about him if it weren't for all the knockoff LeSportsac bags I came across in the Philippines. I'm not a big LeSportsac fan but when I saw the Tokidoki prints I immediately fell in love with them. They are the cutest thing to enter my world since Hello Kitty. Mozzarella is one of my favorites, as is Bastardino, Donutella, Ninja dog, Unicorno....of course to fuel the addiction even further Simone Legno has been pumping out Tokidoki for Hello Kitty for a few years running now. Thank goodness the brand is somewhat hard to come by here in Calgary or else I'd probably go berserk. Whenever I go to the US I make sure to hit up a Macy's and they've usually been a blessing for finding a shirt or two. Thanks to my brother I've learned I can usually find a few pieces at Urban, and I've bought some also at Winners and Smashing Cosmetica. I rece...

So because I've been putting it off forever I finally got my driver's license in November 2008. At the tender young age of "I'm not telling you." I have been driving for less than 2 years. How many cars have I had? Two. I bought my first car on May 12, 2009. Although she wasn't the color I was hoping for we were a match made in nirvana. I named her Jetta James because, well, you know..."at last." She had a sunroof, heated seats, heated mirrors, all wonderful things I have decided I cannot live without. New Year's day of this year her and I, along with my siblings as my passengers, got t-boned by a gentleman running a red light. The fact that he took full responsibility and that none of us were hurt were very little consolation to my pride. My precious Jetta James took a bullet for me and now her and I could roll no longer. My very first lesson in insurance matters, too. If it was not my fault, why was I the one being inconvenienced? I ha...

Every once in a while I take a look at my lonely little blog (it's my homepage whenever I open my browser) and wonder how I could neglect her for oh so long. I don't buy into New Year's resolutions. Resolutions can be made on any of the other 364 days. But I sure do miss writing. Now that I'm here, though, I'm not sure what I want to write about. An update on my last post: My favorite (as I took to calling him) told me at the very last minute that he was leaving to work in another city. I had just come back from Hawaii when he decided to tell me this. Fast forward a month later and a guy I was planning a date with found a girlfriend while I was away in Mexico. Something tells me my love life suffers when I travel, hehe. Despite this, I still haven't gotten my Puerto Rico on. I still haven't been to Cuba. I still haven't been to Spain, Italy, Greece, Turkey, Egypt, Morocco, Argentina, Brazil... I'm in big trouble. A couple of months ago I had my...

Ladies and gentlemen, Leah has botched it up yet again. Oh, and I apologize for the long hiatus. Does anyone still read this out there?! A little more than a month ago, a newly divorced (and gorgeously single) friend of mine decided to join an online dating site. (Shhhh!) She asked me to join along. Partially curious, I dove into the online dating scene. I've met guys from the internet before. How different could this be, right? I've never liked the concept of speed dating, but geez this is perhaps sprint-dating. Granted, I had been experiencing a drought regarding male attention (ever since I lost all the weight! It baffles my mind. Am I too cocky now? Nah, that can't be it. :P ) but this was like a dam breaking! Before I let all the attention get to my head I found a handful whom I thought I may have a possible "connection" with and ran with that. For the most part, all the guys have been great. I haven't met any creepy guys (at least not in perso...

I just read over all my good news from the posts previous. What a downer this one will be. :( This has been building up for at least a few months now. I wonder if we can be so happy in other aspects of our life that it outweighs the grief and frustration in another part of it? If so, then it looks like my abundance of joy everywhere else is stretching thin now. It can only bolster me for so much longer. Ever since our latest restructuring in my department I have become more and more dissatisfied with my work. The profession which I used to love so much has now become a job that makes me miserable. I can even feel it in my body; after 3 or so days of being out of the office I start to feel physically ill as I prepare to return. I do not think I am one for such melodramatics so surely this must mean something severe. Surely everyone else around me has noticed this? I have gone from the top of my game to rarely/barely achieving the minimum. And I know what it is: the office they h...

Yesterday was my annual checkup at the Tom Baker cancer centre. It has now been almost seven years since I went through my radiation treatment. Nearly seven years since my parotidectomy and the crazy carnival ride that ensued. I haven't "achieved" the plans I laid out for myself as a little girl and I cannot figure out if this fact would upset me had I not had my cancer. Nothing seems to faze me now and I don't know if that's necessarily a good thing. I love my job when many others are looking for better paying jobs so they can have a better life. They wouldn't even consider my position if it were their only way of making ends meet...yet here I am content. I used to believe I would be married and have children by now but the more I get to experience life the more I am unwilling to start that chapter in my book. There is far too much I still wish to see, yearn to do, desire to try. Having kids with me or a significant other to factor into all my decisio...

A couple of months ago I had the great opportunity to visit Montreal for a weekend and I LOVED it. That makes two massive cities I have visited this year that I have adored. A stark contrast to my lack of heart for Toronto. People predicted, after hearing of how I dislike Toronto (I can't say hate since I have family living there. Hate is too strong of a word.) that I would have a miserable time in New York...even though I've been obsessed with the Big Apple for years. Well, I proved them wrong there. But although I had always wanted to see Montreal as well I was not sure if it would be as cold and uninviting as Toronto only en francais. Good golly I was pleasantly surprised. I have told several friends this but for once I have found a city that could possibly seduce me away from Calgary. And I'd still get to be Canadian, fantastique! What I especially loved about Montreal was how easy it was to get around. I am a huge fan of great subway/metro systems and New Y...

Lots of observations and pondering these days with not much "hands on" experience. But given everything that's been going on around me I'd rather stay out of the game for now. I know of two people who have dropped the bomb on me that they have ended their marriages. One ended it years ago, that's how out of touch her and I have been. It's a shame, really. We now live in the same city and yet we still cannot manage to get together on a regular basis. With today's divorce rate being as high as it is it shouldn't be such a shocker that they have joined the ranks of the separated. What piqued my interest/what was common between both their experiences is the fact that they both described their last months/years of marriage as living with a roommate or a good friend. One was married almost 20 years before this "roommate" phenomenon occurred. The other was married...I'm tempted to say 5 years though I can't be sure. With the first coup...

Well, the inevitable has happened. My best friend is officially engaged, the wedding date has be chosen, everything is ploughing along. She broke the news to me over the phone. It's true we rarely get to find time together anymore. Life gets in the way like that. "Will you be my maid of honor?" she asked. How could I say "no" to my best friend?! And thus, I fulfilled Civic's prophecy (albeit I fulfilled his prophecy but in relation to a different friend) since he pretty much stood firm on the fact that I would not be able to decline such an "honor" when it comes to a friend...regardless of how much I frown upon the relationship. Talk about trust, huh? She wants me to be right beside her at the wedding knowing full well that if anyone were to say a peep when the priest asks "does anyone object to this union?" I would be the most likely person to speak up. I'm just saying. But I cannot deny the fact that he has done well in becomi...

Last week I had admitted to Civic that the weight-loss has been difficult for me to gauge. I still feel like I look the same but when I try to wear some of my old pants it reminds me of just how far I have come. Still, my mind has a hard time registering that I have changed so much. I should be proud of myself for the accomplishment but instead I feel retroactively horrified that I ever lost so much control that I used to fit in those sizes.

2008 has become even better still since the last time I raved about how awesome 2008 has been. I won some super shopping money in a charity lottery, so I think I will go spoil myself with a new gadget of some sort. I ALSO (not in the same lottery) won two tickets to Vegas. Fantastic! I hope to coordinate it with some free nights I have for Anaheim and get myself reacquainted with the Magic Kingdom (it's been over 15 years now) and get my Vegas on at the same time. Maybe even get to meet Mijo finally after all these years! I am constantly shopping these days what with the transition in seasons and my need for clothes that fit and flatter. The summer clearances have been amazing and fortunately the items will transition well into the fall. I am now bordering on high-school-sized depending on the cut of the clothes. It is unreal. It is sad to see the summer winding down. The days are shorter, the evenings are cooler, and weekday outings will become less frequent. I haven...

A fantastic year thus far, to be sure. I have so much to be thankful for and thrilled about I could easily say 2008 has been one of my best years ever. Vegas, baby! New York NEW YORK 35 pounds lighter and still going! Slowly but surely... Fantastic family time in Alaska Montreal, here I come! I met and dated a hawt dancing guy so my confidence has been reaffirmed. (Although I still miss my brainiac not-so-social boy... it's nice to know I can play in the same league as the "beautiful people.") I got to ride in a helicopter. Woohoo! I have seen some bloggers start up "bucket lists" and although I never like to follow trends I thought this was an excellent idea. I thought it would be easy to come up with 1000 things that I have yet to do and would like to do but I am having a bit of writer's block. I haven't even come up with 100! I thought I wouldn't put anything that I have already done on there but I've tossed them in since I would like t...

Last week was the traditional Calgary gong-show we all know (and some love) as the Calgary Stampede. And while I still had a great time this year the exhibition grounds left me wanting. I do not usually complain about the price the way others do. I figure it's only once a year and I can't understand the griping over the cost of admission when it is comparable to going to a first-screening movie. But this time I did notice the prices getting gouge-y once you were already in the gates. 9 dollars for a "pizza on a stick" or a "london broil cheesesteak" is simply uncalled for. A 2 dollar increase in my "Whack-A-Mole" -- plus the hunch that the carnies are starting to recognize me and try to keep me off my skilled game -- takes quite a bit of fun out of it. But even things that were still, I suppose, reasonably priced , were not as enjoyable as they once were. After one mini-donut I really did not feel like having any more. The smells of all th...