Boy did I feel horrible last nite, Still feel like a jerk. Like I said in my last entry, I just didn't feel like meeting that guy after work. I usually meet Daisy (Miss G...we'll change her nick for easier typing) after work so we can take the train home together, but she's usually about half an hour-45minutes later than when I finish...and that's when Misfit (which we shall dub the guy, since that was a previous topic of discussion) and I were supposed to meet at Second Cup. I didn't want him to arrive downtown and somehow see me wandering around and obviously not show up for our date. So I hid. I skulked around the stores where I knew he wouldn't dare step foot in, waiting for Daisy to arrive downtown. Her and I had figured out since I wanted to get out of the core before he arrived I'd leave at 5:30 with or without her. I felt so guilty that I even hid in the building rather than on the platform right up until the minute the train arrived. Felt a lot better heading home, though, but I wasn't gonna feel that way for long obviously 'cuz I'd still hafta explain myself to him. I was hoping he would've forgotten about it, but somehow I doubted that.

Sure enuf as soon as I logged onto ICQ there was a note from Misfit. Said he had gotten there early about 5:30 (eek) waited for me till 6 and then left. Had I forgotten about our date or was I trying to not see him? Look at that....he gave me the perfect opportunity to tell him the truth, and still I didn't. I told him I hadn't felt well so I headed home after work. (Never mind that I wandered around for half an hour waiting for Daisy) And then he started making me feel guilty by saying things like "I hope u had a nap when u got home, that always makes me feel better" and asking me if I thought it was the flu. It took him like at least 5 minutes between each response so I figured he wasn't buying it. A huge part of me was paranoid that he actually saw my "escape" But then he gave me a second chance out of the whole mess: "Should we try for another day or just forget about it?" For the life of me I can't bring myself to tell him that I don't want to see him so I said maybe sometime next week. Grrrrr....I could choke myself! Part of me reasons that I'm doing this 'cuz he's too nice to out and out reject. He doesn't deserve having someone say "Well, I just don't like u like that." just like I would hate someone saying that to me. But he also doesn't deserve being lied to. I guess I'm gonna hafta suck it up and be the jerk on this one and just tell him the truth tonite. Go fig I complicate my life like this over guys I barely even know, but I suppose if I didn't my life would be overly simple *s*