Bellini-induced Brain Freeze

Attempt number 5,352,891 at resurrecting my blog. I gave up social media for Lent and it's proving to be the best sacrifice for me because I sure am missing it! I figured if I can't see what everyone else is up to I may as well try and document what I have been doing. I just got back from a two-week jaunt to the Philippines to visit loved ones and explore more of that beautiful country. It was definitely not long enough; I did not get to see everyone and everything that I wanted. I did not get to eat everything that I wanted! But two weeks is better than nothing...and the awesome thing is one of my cousins and her family are hoping to come to North America in the fall so fingers crossed I can coordinate with them! Butch and I have been together for 3.5 years now. It sure does not feel like that much time has passed! (Also, I want a new codeame for Butch. As much as I love Pulp Fiction he needs a more awesome codename. In an attempt to feed my social-media-fast if anyone...

I'm not, really. That song is just stuck in my head right now. The family and I went to Vegas for a few days during the month that I was Butch-less. It wasn't to escape -- we were celebrating a milestone birthday for mama and throwing in a little fete for Weird Kid as well. We had a great time but I missed Butch whenever I had a moment to think about it, and when I had more than a moment I would get to fretting about whether it would all turn out in the end. Shortly after we got home he asked to reconvene a few days earlier than scheduled which made me crazy nervous. We ended up ok. I think we're ok. I hope we'll be ok... Since starting up again I've tried harder to see him more often because I truly want him to be more a part of me. We had the opportunity to go on a cruise together which was bliss. I love him more and more all the time. During our trip he even woke/rescued me from a (stupid) nightmare involving a certain demonic doll. It will be very difficult ...

My neck and shoulder have been so sore as of late; it's been driving me nuts. I blamed it on an uncomfortable sleep but it doesn't seem to be letting up very much. And then one night while I was trying to give myself a neck rub I noticed that some of the stiffness felt much too firm. It being on my right side, where all the cancer drama happened over 10 years ago, of course makes me feel a little nervous. One night Butch was trying to help work the knot out and he even admitted it felt like more than a knot. This meant a lot more to me since I didn't even tell him what I was already thinking about it all. Good thing my annual followup with Dr. H is coming up next month. I also have my annual physical scheduled with Dr. T a couple of weeks prior. Between the two of them I hope this thing comes out as just a big superknot. Or if it worked itself out before next month I'd probably feel a lot more comfortable, but to be on the safe side I'd rather they had the op...

Social engagements galore. Things with Butch are going amazing, I think, except for that between him and I we have so many family and friends that sometimes are plans get doubled up...and that's where things get rough. I'm not used to bringing someone new into the mix; so when I invite him to someone's birthday or party I guess it comes across pretty vague. This past weekend he got to meet my best friend and her little family. In my eyes he was going to meet her and her husband and the 3 mini-besties, her parents, and that was pretty much it. But I guess the more I talked to him about it the more he felt it was more than he had signed up for. That's fair. And it doesn't help that I only start talking about it closer to the event. As with the birthday party a few weeks ago. It was the day of when he finally told me all frustrated that he didn't even know whose birthday it was and where we were going. I suppose so long as I knew he was free and willing to come th...

Lots to say! And I'm sure because I don't write them down as soon as I think of them I will forget most of them before I post. Refreshing myself on my last post; one of my dates from back then has become one of my most favorite guys ever. I guess we'll call him Butch. He's become such a favorite that I've pulled down my profile (and I think he has, too!) off a certain online dating site and haven't really paid any attention to other dates that have started trying to contact me again. Seriously, right out of the woodwork. Like I always said; it seems to be feast or famine when it comes to dating and now that I've met someone that makes me giddy they all decide to try again. Including Bachelor #1 from the last post. He left a voicemail this past Thursday and tried calling again tonight. I hadn't seen or heard from him since our first date over a month ago . And while I think he's a really sweet guy and I see him totally being a great buddy for doing th...

Both dates went pretty great but for completely different reasons. How is a girl supposed to figure out who to go after? The guy I met at the speed dating event (should I give them names? Will they be around long enough to warrant names?) is uber easy to talk to. Conversation flows non-stop and admittedly he is not bad to look at at all . But something in my gut says we'd be better off as friends...however my gut has been wrong about plenty of guys (Hello, Aidan.) so can I even be certain of my instincts? SANDy asked if I had any spark/did I want to jump him and I had to answer "no" to the jumping bit. At the same time, I don't tend to feel the want to jump guys right away. (Ask Daisy and she will boast that she KNEW I was going to fool around with Aidan before I even knew myself that I was going to fool around with him. She claims she knew all along.) We went for tea and were planning on doing some sheesha later on. Didn't get around to the sheesha but we put it ...

I think things are looking up for me. I finally found some guys that seem normal and who can carry an enjoyable conversation and not just 3-word replies! Woo! The biggest surprise, boys and girls, is that I went out on Thursday and tried speed dating with SANDy. Yes, speed dating. How was it? A supreme gong show. Super supreme. Luckily, we had found an online deal for this speed dating company...and with a theme night called "travel lovers" how could we go wrong, right? Oy. Vey. But I can't be totally down on speed dating. The very first guy I met ended up being my favorite of the night and we matched, so that's cool. I'll keep you posted; I believe we are going to try and see each other again this week. Would I ever try speed dating again? I don't know. Certainly not at full price because the experience us ladies had would have been a rip off at full price. Quite a few of the guys I talked to mentioned that they had received emails inviting them to come to ...

I'll catch up on posting my paper cranes some other time. There have been so many occasions when I wanted to write something down and I held back because I had not made a paper crane to go with the post. And then I realized how dumb that was... (So let go) So let go Jump in Oh well whatcha waiting for It's all right 'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown ~Frou Frou Two years ago I jumped back into whatever this is that I have with Aidan. Two. Years. I thought it was my turn to be with him. But if anyone else was going through whatever this is I would have told them to just get over it and walk away. Two years. And that's not even counting the time before that (thought short-lived) and then the time I waited on the sidelines while he had a girlfriend. He's obviously looking for a new girlfriend now. And somehow it's obviously not me. I signed into one of those multi-chat-program apps on my ipod tonight and I saw so many instances of him. Do you realize ...

So I dropped the ball again. So much has happened, and yet I never get around to writing. This is only, what, my 6th crane?! I have a looong way to go to 1000. Where did I leave off? Oh yeah, don't you worry your pretty little heads. I never went out with that guy (still don't have a moniker for him, not that it matters anymore) again. I told him I didn't want to waste his time or his money. That sounds kind of pimpish but what else would you call paying for someone else's video game play other than a waste of money? And I've turned another year older. Imagine my sadness when, as I was reading all my birthday greetings on a popular social media site I was also stumbling upon those same friends mourning an elementary school classmate on his social media page. Another numbing aspect: his birthday was only 3 days away from my own. His mom has always remembered me throughout the years so it was only right that I went to pay my condolences to her and the rest of his fa...

Augh, I can't do it anymore. Date #2 was exasperating. It's bad enough that I have had to make the decisions for both dates (If I want to always be the one planning the dates then I may as well stick around with Aidan.) but the guy -- I can't even think of a moniker for him -- and I have nothing in common except for the Calgary Flames...so that's stretching things preeeeetty thin. Our points of view on the economy and business (can you even believe these words are coming out of my mouth?!) clash too much. It's a shame, really, 'cuz he's a very nice guy but the more he tried to make conversation or entertain me the more I felt frustrated and irritable. I really hope I did not let it show; that would have been beyond rude. However, other than playing mini-golf with me (which already made him feel uncomfortable, he said) his idea of a date was feeding the arcade games coin and watching me play...not even playing along with me! *sigh* I couldn't even bring...

Blah, my cranes are getting sloppier and sloppier rather than better. At least with this one I was able to complete the whole bird from memory. I have to get some bigger origami paper to make tidier, crisper cranes. These square little notepapers are so not doing the trick. So, yes, I ended up going on the date this past Tuesday. He's a nice guy. If you know me well enough that should really be all I have to say. He's very sweet and I'm sure he'd treat me, or any girl, well. He's a little cuddly-shaped, and I would be a hypocrite if I told anyone that that is an issue with me. But my manager hit it on the head when I was discussing the date amongst my office-mates. There is no ambition in the guy whatsoever. He admires my efforts in dieting, or so he says. But in the same breath he mentions that he could never do it himself because he enjoys food too much. Followed with a vague comment that he wants to get a gym membership "someday." This is coming from...

I have a date lined up to meet someone new. So why do I feel sad somewhat? So things don't go as I have envisioned or wanted; this isn't something new. I don't know why I'm being so difficult when it comes to accepting that Aidan isn't looking for anything more. SANDy is already back at 'em in the dating scene. She told me that other loved ones have suggested she sit back for a while to "find herself" and yadda yadda. I think if she's ready -- and it sounds like she is 'cuz she's got a great outlook on things -- then good for her. Personally, based on other observations I feel if she waits too long she'll just get jaded. She's found a young guy that she truly digs and by all accounts it sounds like he's keen on her, too. How did she do it so quickly? Some girls are just that lucky. It was the strangest thing. I was watching an episode of Big Bang Theory and seeing Penny and Leonard interact made my hands all electrified. I h...

Ha, that song title is a couple of nights too late. But I just saw an adorable video starring Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Leavitt so I'm loving the song at the mo. Hello 2012! Although I don't like the concept of New Year's resolutions I must admit I have a lot of work to do with you: lose weight, gain money, attain love (non-family), organize, organize, organize. Where to start? Ideas: For losing weight: keep up the Aqua Fit and incorporate laps (start with once a week), get back on the South Beach Diet train, get back to my weight training at the gym (start with 1x a week), on off days -- when my muscles can take it -- pop in a Jillian Michaels workout or do my Your Shape workout on the Kinect. (Just got it for Christmas thanks to my fabulous bro, the fitness quiz alone practically knocked me out. LOTS to do!) For gaining money: I think a second job is becoming more and more imperative at present. I don't really want to go back to retail but their hours work bes...

TLC has been making a lot of garbage tv these days (Virgin Diaries, hello? I admit I laughed awkwardly when I saw the virgin wedding kiss in the trailer.) but I found the two-part Geek Love to be really endearing. It also made me feel kind of sorry for myself, egads. I mean, look at all those adorable, endearing, little "geeks" finding love, and yet I do not fit in with them. Although I am a huge fan of certain aspects of those Comic Cons (Simone Legno seems to always be at the San Diego Comic Con, Big Bang Theory and Twilight have held panels at Comic Cons) if I had to talk myself up for 6 minutes or so to one of the serious geeks he would lose interest pretty fast. I don't know much about Star Trek, have not seen the most recent 3 Star Wars -- or even remember much about the older three except for those adorable Ewoks -- I don't care for Spiderman and the only reason why I care for Batman and Iron Man is because Christian Bale and Robert Downey Jr. are both hot and...

I was heaving a whole stack of catalogs onto a rack this afternoon when one of the thick covers gave me a nasty papercut. Lovely. Can't tell you why this always stuck with me but one class in high school, I couldn't tell you which subject, the teacher spent a whole lesson on suffering. A papercut was an example of senseless suffering. There is no purpose or lesson to be learned from the pain it causes. It just hurts. Nothing you can do about it. Pretty much no remedy for it. Just let it sting and irritate you as long as it will. Boy, do those buggers really get to you. So then it made me think about my current situation, if you can call it that. Not that it just popped into my head. It had been marinating in my head for many a day now. It's all about a boy. As far as I can see Aidan has cut me off yet again. No hints. No warning. I have gone from some form of daily acknowledgment to deep cold NADA. But this should be a papercut, right? We were never in a ...

Happy New Year, boys and girls! So...another year. Some stuff new and more of the same. New job? Check. (Since my separation with my former employer I have heard through the grapevine of at least 4 more employees who are no longer with them...and they are not hiring any replacements! Someone was seriously looking out for me when they ousted me. Hidden blessings, I tell you all.) New path? Also check. Happier times? You betcha. The creeper who comes and visits my blog still has not identified his or herself (FYI: Bellini is spelled with two Ls. I know you still get directed to my page, but get it right) and I do not want to be paranoid but it'd really ease my mind if you would just let me know who you are. Over the past little while I have met some characters who I would rather not be reading this page -- really, my life is none of your concern -- and I realize the internet is public and a privacy free-for-all but it would be so nice not to have to take my blog down to ...

Ladies and gentlemen, Leah has botched it up yet again. Oh, and I apologize for the long hiatus. Does anyone still read this out there?! A little more than a month ago, a newly divorced (and gorgeously single) friend of mine decided to join an online dating site. (Shhhh!) She asked me to join along. Partially curious, I dove into the online dating scene. I've met guys from the internet before. How different could this be, right? I've never liked the concept of speed dating, but geez this is perhaps sprint-dating. Granted, I had been experiencing a drought regarding male attention (ever since I lost all the weight! It baffles my mind. Am I too cocky now? Nah, that can't be it. :P ) but this was like a dam breaking! Before I let all the attention get to my head I found a handful whom I thought I may have a possible "connection" with and ran with that. For the most part, all the guys have been great. I haven't met any creepy guys (at least not in perso...

30+ pounds gone thus far! Size-wise I have turned back time a whole 10 years. I could not be happier right now, it is insanely encouraging. Of course, with the new improved me comes even more confidence...like I really needed more of that! All the clothing options that I would not have even considered with my previous figure have me itching to go on a mad shopping spree; but all in due time. Already the "interim" pants and capris I bought a month to two months ago are starting to get baggy again. Some pants just look ridiculous on me now, Latina says she has to laugh since she thinks I look amusing in my baggy clothes. Particularly since I have never been one to wear baggy clothes to begin with. I finally went on date number 2 with the dance fan. We'll call him Salsero. Yes, I know, going this long between dates sounds pretty sketchy; I see it, too. But if he's weighing out his other options right now (not saying he is, but it's a definite possibility) ...

Early October 2007. The setting: a south end Tim Horton's. The characters: Leah, Flag Girl, and Flag Girl's pal, V. A little bit of girl gripes before a little birthday dance-a-thon for darling Flag Girl. (The following may not be word for word but the sentiment is quite vivid in my memory.) ...I don't know what it was. I was not interested in the guy, he was probably not interested in me either, but he treated me with a great deal of respect. A girl who just came in to line up like all the rest just so she could get her caffeine fix. From his accent it was fairly apparent he was not from around here...and yet he had more charm and was more of a gentleman than any homegrown guys I have ever met. Mm hmm, I absolutely know what you are talking about. It is embarassing to think that our own local guys were not raised properly by their mothers. I am sure it is not the case at all, but they certainly do behave that way at times. Yes! As if they have some sort of arrest...

A tall, dark, and handsome man (cliche, huh?) has been haunting my dreams. Ok, so it has only been two dreams. Two dreams over two months. But it appears to me that it is becoming a mini-series of sorts. Or at least I hope it is. I wouldn't mind. :P In the first dream he introduced himself to me while we were sitting in a classroom. Although I wish that there were potential for deja vu here I have not attended any classes in almost 6 years. Mind you with Civic heading back to university our group has had several discussions as to whether the rest of us have felt like going back to school. And if so, what would we take the next time around? For a lack of anything better coming to mind I always choose accounting. I guess I still think that I have/had the potential for becoming a boring bean-counter. I'm not sure if Mr Dark-and-Yummy and I meet in an accounting class; maybe it's my subconscious' hokey way of trying to tempt me back into school. In the second drea...