Bellini-induced Brain Freeze

Attempt number 5,352,891 at resurrecting my blog. I gave up social media for Lent and it's proving to be the best sacrifice for me because I sure am missing it! I figured if I can't see what everyone else is up to I may as well try and document what I have been doing. I just got back from a two-week jaunt to the Philippines to visit loved ones and explore more of that beautiful country. It was definitely not long enough; I did not get to see everyone and everything that I wanted. I did not get to eat everything that I wanted! But two weeks is better than nothing...and the awesome thing is one of my cousins and her family are hoping to come to North America in the fall so fingers crossed I can coordinate with them! Butch and I have been together for 3.5 years now. It sure does not feel like that much time has passed! (Also, I want a new codeame for Butch. As much as I love Pulp Fiction he needs a more awesome codename. In an attempt to feed my social-media-fast if anyone...

I keep meaning to blog more often but there was always something going on with my computer. Now I have no more excuses; my baby gave me a new computer last Christmas and he set me up with the fancy new Windows last night. Nothing should stop me now. A lot has gone on all around me. Latina had a baby boy, Civic went to Japan for a semester, my mini BFFs keep growing and being all-around adorable, and Daisy got married. And Butch and I are two years (and a month....but who's counting?) strong. The familia and I went to the Dominican Republic for their first taste (Weird Kid was not with us, alas) of all-inclusive resort vacations. As much as I enjoyed the family time I would have loved to have Butch there with me, too. Hopefully him and I can get away for another vacation sometime. I loved our cruise together. But with all the happy adventures that go on come some down times. When I got home last night I found out my godmother in the Philippines passed away. She was such a ...

I'm not, really. That song is just stuck in my head right now. The family and I went to Vegas for a few days during the month that I was Butch-less. It wasn't to escape -- we were celebrating a milestone birthday for mama and throwing in a little fete for Weird Kid as well. We had a great time but I missed Butch whenever I had a moment to think about it, and when I had more than a moment I would get to fretting about whether it would all turn out in the end. Shortly after we got home he asked to reconvene a few days earlier than scheduled which made me crazy nervous. We ended up ok. I think we're ok. I hope we'll be ok... Since starting up again I've tried harder to see him more often because I truly want him to be more a part of me. We had the opportunity to go on a cruise together which was bliss. I love him more and more all the time. During our trip he even woke/rescued me from a (stupid) nightmare involving a certain demonic doll. It will be very difficult ...

My neck and shoulder have been so sore as of late; it's been driving me nuts. I blamed it on an uncomfortable sleep but it doesn't seem to be letting up very much. And then one night while I was trying to give myself a neck rub I noticed that some of the stiffness felt much too firm. It being on my right side, where all the cancer drama happened over 10 years ago, of course makes me feel a little nervous. One night Butch was trying to help work the knot out and he even admitted it felt like more than a knot. This meant a lot more to me since I didn't even tell him what I was already thinking about it all. Good thing my annual followup with Dr. H is coming up next month. I also have my annual physical scheduled with Dr. T a couple of weeks prior. Between the two of them I hope this thing comes out as just a big superknot. Or if it worked itself out before next month I'd probably feel a lot more comfortable, but to be on the safe side I'd rather they had the op...

He told me he loved me! And all week long I thought whenever he got around to saying it, if he ever got around to saying it, I'd be a blubbering mess. But maybe the overwhelming feeling was just me. 'cuz when he said it I thought I kept it pretty cool. I felt like grinning like a moron while we were kissing but my eyes weren't leaking (as baby sis likes to put it). Maybe I had rehashed it in my head so much over the week that I had already reconciled whatever happens and squared it away in my little head. Que sera sera. Though I'm pretty sure that's not it. You would think I would be happy, and was . I was thrilled to hear him say it. But at the same time I went back into Leah-mode. I couldn't just enjoy hearing the words. I worried that maybe he was just saying it to make me happy. That my little waterworks from a few days back made him feel pressured to keep me content. Argh. Even when I headed home I said "I love you" before I got into my car...but ...

The Christmas holidays were fantastic! At least I thought they were. He invited me to his family stuff, I invited him to my family stuff. Family stuff abounded. We got to enjoy the New Year together. I was blissfully happy. I am blissfully happy. And today marks 5 months! It's not an epic milestone, to be sure, but I like it because it's my milestone. New Year's Day was a huge heavy day for me, too. I told him I loved him. It felt right...so I said it...but he can't say it back and embarrassingly enough I got kind of teary. I excused it away as happiness -- and you know what? It's possibly true. Though he made me rethink why I said it and I felt a little gun-shy right afterwards there was still this amaaaazing and overwhelming feeling once it was out there. It felt wonderful to say it, he may not be able to say it back, but I have never told any guy that I've loved them and with him it just feels like it's about right. Re-hashing it in my mind just reconfi...

Social engagements galore. Things with Butch are going amazing, I think, except for that between him and I we have so many family and friends that sometimes are plans get doubled up...and that's where things get rough. I'm not used to bringing someone new into the mix; so when I invite him to someone's birthday or party I guess it comes across pretty vague. This past weekend he got to meet my best friend and her little family. In my eyes he was going to meet her and her husband and the 3 mini-besties, her parents, and that was pretty much it. But I guess the more I talked to him about it the more he felt it was more than he had signed up for. That's fair. And it doesn't help that I only start talking about it closer to the event. As with the birthday party a few weeks ago. It was the day of when he finally told me all frustrated that he didn't even know whose birthday it was and where we were going. I suppose so long as I knew he was free and willing to come th...

Lots to say! And I'm sure because I don't write them down as soon as I think of them I will forget most of them before I post. Refreshing myself on my last post; one of my dates from back then has become one of my most favorite guys ever. I guess we'll call him Butch. He's become such a favorite that I've pulled down my profile (and I think he has, too!) off a certain online dating site and haven't really paid any attention to other dates that have started trying to contact me again. Seriously, right out of the woodwork. Like I always said; it seems to be feast or famine when it comes to dating and now that I've met someone that makes me giddy they all decide to try again. Including Bachelor #1 from the last post. He left a voicemail this past Thursday and tried calling again tonight. I hadn't seen or heard from him since our first date over a month ago . And while I think he's a really sweet guy and I see him totally being a great buddy for doing th...

I'll catch up on posting my paper cranes some other time. There have been so many occasions when I wanted to write something down and I held back because I had not made a paper crane to go with the post. And then I realized how dumb that was... (So let go) So let go Jump in Oh well whatcha waiting for It's all right 'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown ~Frou Frou Two years ago I jumped back into whatever this is that I have with Aidan. Two. Years. I thought it was my turn to be with him. But if anyone else was going through whatever this is I would have told them to just get over it and walk away. Two years. And that's not even counting the time before that (thought short-lived) and then the time I waited on the sidelines while he had a girlfriend. He's obviously looking for a new girlfriend now. And somehow it's obviously not me. I signed into one of those multi-chat-program apps on my ipod tonight and I saw so many instances of him. Do you realize ...

So I dropped the ball again. So much has happened, and yet I never get around to writing. This is only, what, my 6th crane?! I have a looong way to go to 1000. Where did I leave off? Oh yeah, don't you worry your pretty little heads. I never went out with that guy (still don't have a moniker for him, not that it matters anymore) again. I told him I didn't want to waste his time or his money. That sounds kind of pimpish but what else would you call paying for someone else's video game play other than a waste of money? And I've turned another year older. Imagine my sadness when, as I was reading all my birthday greetings on a popular social media site I was also stumbling upon those same friends mourning an elementary school classmate on his social media page. Another numbing aspect: his birthday was only 3 days away from my own. His mom has always remembered me throughout the years so it was only right that I went to pay my condolences to her and the rest of his fa...

Augh, I can't do it anymore. Date #2 was exasperating. It's bad enough that I have had to make the decisions for both dates (If I want to always be the one planning the dates then I may as well stick around with Aidan.) but the guy -- I can't even think of a moniker for him -- and I have nothing in common except for the Calgary Flames...so that's stretching things preeeeetty thin. Our points of view on the economy and business (can you even believe these words are coming out of my mouth?!) clash too much. It's a shame, really, 'cuz he's a very nice guy but the more he tried to make conversation or entertain me the more I felt frustrated and irritable. I really hope I did not let it show; that would have been beyond rude. However, other than playing mini-golf with me (which already made him feel uncomfortable, he said) his idea of a date was feeding the arcade games coin and watching me play...not even playing along with me! *sigh* I couldn't even bring...

Blah, my cranes are getting sloppier and sloppier rather than better. At least with this one I was able to complete the whole bird from memory. I have to get some bigger origami paper to make tidier, crisper cranes. These square little notepapers are so not doing the trick. So, yes, I ended up going on the date this past Tuesday. He's a nice guy. If you know me well enough that should really be all I have to say. He's very sweet and I'm sure he'd treat me, or any girl, well. He's a little cuddly-shaped, and I would be a hypocrite if I told anyone that that is an issue with me. But my manager hit it on the head when I was discussing the date amongst my office-mates. There is no ambition in the guy whatsoever. He admires my efforts in dieting, or so he says. But in the same breath he mentions that he could never do it himself because he enjoys food too much. Followed with a vague comment that he wants to get a gym membership "someday." This is coming from...

I have a date lined up to meet someone new. So why do I feel sad somewhat? So things don't go as I have envisioned or wanted; this isn't something new. I don't know why I'm being so difficult when it comes to accepting that Aidan isn't looking for anything more. SANDy is already back at 'em in the dating scene. She told me that other loved ones have suggested she sit back for a while to "find herself" and yadda yadda. I think if she's ready -- and it sounds like she is 'cuz she's got a great outlook on things -- then good for her. Personally, based on other observations I feel if she waits too long she'll just get jaded. She's found a young guy that she truly digs and by all accounts it sounds like he's keen on her, too. How did she do it so quickly? Some girls are just that lucky. It was the strangest thing. I was watching an episode of Big Bang Theory and seeing Penny and Leonard interact made my hands all electrified. I h...

Ha, that song title is a couple of nights too late. But I just saw an adorable video starring Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Leavitt so I'm loving the song at the mo. Hello 2012! Although I don't like the concept of New Year's resolutions I must admit I have a lot of work to do with you: lose weight, gain money, attain love (non-family), organize, organize, organize. Where to start? Ideas: For losing weight: keep up the Aqua Fit and incorporate laps (start with once a week), get back on the South Beach Diet train, get back to my weight training at the gym (start with 1x a week), on off days -- when my muscles can take it -- pop in a Jillian Michaels workout or do my Your Shape workout on the Kinect. (Just got it for Christmas thanks to my fabulous bro, the fitness quiz alone practically knocked me out. LOTS to do!) For gaining money: I think a second job is becoming more and more imperative at present. I don't really want to go back to retail but their hours work bes...

TLC has been making a lot of garbage tv these days (Virgin Diaries, hello? I admit I laughed awkwardly when I saw the virgin wedding kiss in the trailer.) but I found the two-part Geek Love to be really endearing. It also made me feel kind of sorry for myself, egads. I mean, look at all those adorable, endearing, little "geeks" finding love, and yet I do not fit in with them. Although I am a huge fan of certain aspects of those Comic Cons (Simone Legno seems to always be at the San Diego Comic Con, Big Bang Theory and Twilight have held panels at Comic Cons) if I had to talk myself up for 6 minutes or so to one of the serious geeks he would lose interest pretty fast. I don't know much about Star Trek, have not seen the most recent 3 Star Wars -- or even remember much about the older three except for those adorable Ewoks -- I don't care for Spiderman and the only reason why I care for Batman and Iron Man is because Christian Bale and Robert Downey Jr. are both hot and...

Just a quick post because I didn't quite say everything that was going on in my mind this weekend. Ha, if Daisy could read my post-title she'd probably be through the moon. But it was the only song lyric I could think of on the spot that talks about diseases. Aidan let me know that he went and got tested over the weekend. Anytime I've had a moment to myself my brain has gone into warp freak-out mode over how stupid I have been. He came out clean, so...you know...goody for him and all, but that doesn't make me look any less stupid. SO many scenarios. So so many. All the other girls value their health enough that they insist that he be safe all the time. I don't speak up so he gets a "gimme." Since it would appear that I don't value my own health why should he value my health as well, right? It had been 8 months or so between the times I was with him. I got my annual checkup shortly after the time before our most recent get-together and I was fine th...

I had the stupendous fortune of seeing Weezer perform live for the first time in. my. life. It was everything I thought it would be, hoped it would be, dreamed it would be. And when Rivers came back onto the stage and yelled out "Calgaryyyyyyyy! We're on an island..." My little happy heart could do nothing more but dance in joy, though I felt like I was the only one who whooped up as I knew what song he was referring to (does noone else adore "Island in the Sun?!") I was euphoric. But I had something else in mind for this post. I just wanted to share before I began. So Civic asked me if I wanted to go to Beano that night...but it was Weezer-night! But if he was willing to wait till later baby sis and I would meet him there. The only reason why I wanted to go to the festival was to see Weezer in all their nerdy fabulosity so as soon as they finished I would have no issues with leaving the grounds early and heading over to 17th. So that's what we did. By the ...

Why are corn niblets spelled with one B whereas the word nibble has two? Moving on... I really wish I could motivate myself to write in here whenever the mood strikes me. As it stands I have to play catch-up with my thoughts yet again. Boob-watch 2011: I've been driving again for a month now. Hooray! I've also picked up a few "normal" bras. Have I lost a lot? Well, considering I was always too embarrassed to get the girls professionally fitted they are down a cup from what I used to wear (still haven't gotten them professionally fitted) and depending on the maker of the bra it's possible they have been downsized even two cups. Yowza. I'm feeling a lot better about them; sometimes I do miss them when I wear a top where they used to be more front-and-center...but that could just be similar to how us ladies feel when we have a dramatic haircut. I love the fact that dresses zip up with ease now (remind me to tell you about the day I was a bridesmaid dressed in...

Well, not quite, but it is a gorgeous day outside. And things seem to be progressing nicely *knock on wood* So exactly 7 days ago I was probably snapping out of my anesthetic and the deed was done. So how was it? I would say the pain was at its worst straight out of surgery, in the recovery room. The nurses would ask me for my number -- on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being mild and 10 being the worst pain I have ever experienced (that's practically verbatim, folks) -- and I said 5 off the bat. Unfortunately, she couldn't give me any painkillers yet as my breathing was still really slow. By the time she was able to administer anything I rated the pain at a 6. I don't know what the nurse gave me but it must have been some pretty terrific stuff because my number was never back up there again. The rest of the day and into the evening I rated the pain at 1 or 2, at times even as ambitious as 0. Just like my very first surgery (a corneal transplant in 7th grade) I was taking th...

So...it's happening. After all these years contemplating having a breast reduction I never thought it would actually happen. And you know what? I got a call to set up a surgery date. Oh. My. God. So May 3rd I will become a little less stacked. I would say de-stacked or un-stacked, but let's not get drastic here. Uber scared! I have been thinking about it non-stop. Is this surgery really necessary? Everyone I have talked to who has had the procedure done say they wish they had it done earlier, that I will be so happy I got it done, blah blah blah. I hear that. I understand it. Guess I'm just a big pansy when it comes to surgeries, pain, and the like. My past surgeries have not been that painful, though they were more crucial operations. In this case I'm lying on the operating table for something that isn't really crucial to my health (unless you want to talk about sore backs, emotional happiness, etc.) but all the information I have read make it sound ...