Don't worry 'bout nothing

Told Daisy about my Tabu incident over the weekend. Civic said she'd love the story and sure enough, she did. After watching fob-ball we had all headed home to rest a lil bit before mass and I finally decided to pop open my bottle of Tabu that had been sitting in the fridge since Friday nite. Chatting with Mijo, shooting the breeze, sipping Tabu...totally overestimated the "down" time I'd have at home. Ended up having to guzzle the elixir down in less than half an hour. The results were amusing, thankfully not disastrous. Good thing the godmother rode with the parents and us "kids" followed behind in godbrother's car. Let out two loud burps in the car (unlady-like, and un-Leah-like...particularly 'cuz I cannot burp on command), earning me the nickname of the day as "drunkard." As much as I do not mind Church and I actually get something out of it for the most part, mass is even more entertaining when slightly tipsy. Had to take a much-needed pee break in the middle of the service. (Yes, I always break the seal...I must have a tiny bladder.) But after that all was excellent. Noone was the wiser.

Also watched Saturday Night Fever for the bazillionth time over the weekend. Had a discussion with a coworker once about Saturday Night Fever. She had watched it with her daughter years later and daughter thought it was the most depressing movie ever. I must agree, yet I watch it with morose fascination at least every other month. Was I ever wrong when I had assumed the movie would be all about dancing! "What do you do when the record stops?" The movie, to be real, is a lesson in what I like to call "strumfiness." I could go on forever discussing everything I've learned from that film with regards to strumfiness and its disastrous and pathetic effects, but I'll break it down by character. Today's character of choice: Annette.

The first time I watched Annette's whole story unfold during the course of the film, I took it as a huge, HUGE, public service announcement directed towards me. While I wasn't in a similar situation as Annette, there may come a time when I could be, and I had to learn not to make the same mistakes that she did.

Her biggest mistake? She tried too hard to make Tony care for her and as a result made herself all pathetic and cause everyone to lose their respect for her. I used to watch the 2nd bridge scene over and over, the one where she pretty much gets gang-banged by Joey and Double J. Then to add insult to injury her dear Tony chastises her for allowing herself to become a "cunt" rather than remaining a "nice girl." Although the scene isn't Oscar-winning dramatic, it always stirred something in me. It was horrifying to see her lose all her dignity and pride in one short car ride, even worse to see her face when she realizes the huge mistake she's made with no way out. The poor girl, twas awful. I learned from that to never do something with the intentions of eliciting a reaction or response out of someone else, you just end up screwing yourself over...and in the end you can't even justify what you've done. It isn't worth it.

I guess this is where I should define strumfiness. It's my invented word for what I consider a false sense of inner-strength. Some may call it "posing." Basically it's representing yourself as someone you're not, claiming to have a quality or trait which you simply do not possess...and once it comes down to showtime, you can't back up your claims and hence get exposed for the little fraud that you are. So how was Annette strumfy? She tried to be the kind of girl that Tony could mess around with since it's hard on a 19-year old guy when his "balls ache." Really, she was better off as his friend. Tony recognized that, why couldn't she? He had respect for her, why couldn't she respect herself? Annette deceived herself into thinking that she could be the type of girl who could sleep around without emotional attachment, all this despite being a virgin. So it comes as no surprise when she finally comes around to doing it (no pun intended) and she is disastrously wrong about herself, and her whole self-esteem, or what little she had of it, comes crashing down all around her.

Oh Annette, in my eyes you are like the poster child of strumfiness. Thank goodness I've learned from yours and your whole crew's mistakes (even though you guys are all fictitious characters)...you've made me into a much stronger person with every viewing of your film.