Humble bumble

A little bird directed me to Flamingo's website last week. (Note: The previous link will not take you to his site, I think that would be giving away too much information.) I didn't know such a thing existed, but now I know. Embarassingly enough, I've pretty much devoured everything he wrote on there. I feel like such a stalker.

So I shared this latest discovery with Mijo and Daisy. Mijo asked if I was still sexually attracted to him (Flamingo, not Mijo). Given the fact that I've known Flamingo since I was a fairly young girl I think "sexually attracted" would be a very strong way of putting it. I told Mijo there's one thing for certain now, I'm certainly not attracted to him when he's drunk. But who ever likes drunks anyway?

Basically talking to those two didn't really sort anything out for me...not that I was looking to them to solve this fixation of mine. A lot of the latest stuff I've learned about him make me like him even more, but it does not make up for his immaturity and cockiness.

Not to mention that I feel dumb for thinking he was making things up to further add to his braggart ways. Unless he likes to lie on his website as well (and I seriously doubt anyone's as demented as to do such a thing) then he was actually telling me the truth. I guess it's just the way he delivered the info that made me doubt him. I feel kind of dumb for thinking he'd make up all this stuffs, but yeah, he didn't have to be all "I'm the hottest shit" about it.

Yup, it turns out he's an engineer. Yup, he actually did go to New Zealand. And yup, he's in Montreal right now. What kills me is that reading about all the trips he's done make it sound like he is the perfect travel companion for me. I mean, who knew he would be the type to actually enjoy camping out on a beach in Spain? I certainly didn't see that coming...he seemed like the type to do the hoity-toity ho-hum all-inclusive to Jamaica or something. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.) Surprisingly enough, he's an adventure traveller! Damn him for being so much of what I want.

Damn him for actually being honest and making me feel stupid for doubting him. Damn him for taking vacations that I would absolutely love. Damn him for being so close to his family. That will always get me right here *points to her heart* 'cuz you all know that I am seriously a family girl myself. *frustrated* Damn him!

And in a moment of loony dwelling-ness, uh, if you see an ad in the free "I Saw You" section of FFWD magazine addressing Flamingo the past two weeks...*raises her hand meekly* That was me. At least I didn't sign my name on it and thank goodness he's out of town right now. Hopefully he never sees it, but I don't know if he could ever trace it back to me.

And you know what's scary, folks? Turns out the company he works for is literally down the street from my agency. What are the odds? Part of me hopes I run into him sometime, and another part of me hopes I never do. I just know that I'll see him downtown when I'm looking my absolute crappiest. A shallow and stupid concern, I know, but it happens...and I hate it when it happens.

Here I was, thinking I had finally gained some closure. I should've known better.