Giddy-up, baby!

Friday there was a corporate party at Ranchmans that somehow Daisy got the hookup to, so off we went. The three amigas, Daisy, Bizkette, and I.

Leah at Ranchmans? Yeah yeah, don't laugh so hard...I've done it before, I can do it again. And I'll let you all in on a little secret: I don't hate country music as much as my protests would lead you to assume. In fact, I love line dancing (but then again, you all probably knew that I would love any kind of dancing I could get involved with) and I figure I'll master that two-step business one of these days. I am a girl living in "Cowtown," after all.

With the Calgary Stampede fast approaching I'm glad I had an opportunity to rev up my cowgirl side, or what little of it I had. Our club crawl tickets are paid for and for those still looking to meet up with us; we're starting off at Coyote's. Unfortunately we got our act together a little late, but then again what else is new, so all the tickets left started off downtown (where I had wanted to END up) so we'll most likely end up back here in the south. If that's the case I pray to the clubbing angels to have me finish up at Ranchmans and not somewhere scuzzy like the Back Alley *shudders* or Outlaws.

Besides, I have some unfinished business I have to deal with at Ranchmans. As one would guess from my previous post, I hopped onto the mechanical bull at Ranchmans. I've always wanted to try it...something sexy about it, even when you're flailing about like an inebriated rag doll.

Let me tell you this: Madonna made it look so easy in her video. And that chick in Ginuwine's Pony video? She looked like she was having fun, too. I figured they'd go easy on me since I'm a girl.

As soon as I had heard we were going to Ranchmans I made it a point to get on that mechanical bull at some point in the evening. Not sure how much I had to drink before I actually got on, but I can count 1/3 of Bizkette's bottle of Sourpuss, a shot of Baja Rosa, and 2 singles of Raspberry Twist. There was a lot of expectation -- kind of embarassing, actually -- as Daisy and Bizkette spread the news to Daisy's coworkers and anyone who would listen that yours truly had a date with the mechanical bull. One of Daisy's coworkers told us a witty tale of how one girl's boobies popped out mid-ride and the bull operators made it go faster. No, I'm not hinting/foreshadowing as to how my personal experience turned out. Sorry to disappoint.

I did, however, have Daisy all concerned that my jeans were going to fall off as the cowboys helped me climb on. I didn't notice.

First go: Cowboy commentator yells at me "You're not supposed to hop off the bull!" In my defense I was all worried that my arm was going to get all twisted seeing as I was already riding half off of the bull. I just let go to save myself. Let me tell you trying to squeeze onto the bull with your thighs just does not cut it.

Second go: Cowboy commentator and his cohorts thought I deserved a second try, so back onto the bull I went. I wasn't complaining. I wanted to conquer this bull. I squeezed the bull with my legs as much as I could get my short legs around it, I held onto the rope/rein-thingie. Daisy later told me I actually lasted on the bull pretty long during my attempts, but neither was long enough for me. This time I got knocked off the bull fair and square. Wheee! What fun! I laid there on the inflated mat for a minute just giggling to myself. Daisy thought I had gotten hurt.

My mind was spinning (hm, yeah, doesn't make good sense to ride a spinny/bucking ride when your sinuses have you experiencing some vertigo/balance problems currently) and I could not stop laughing. Uh oh, I can't find my shoes...that's funny, too! *laughs some more* Haha, the bull kicked my ass! Let's top it off with a triple Raspberry Twist! I'm such a good shopper, why pay 3.25 for a single when the triple only costs 8.50! Yay yay! Yes, the good times just kept on flowing. Daisy even bought me another single when some of my triple/mini-jug spilled.

A couple guys we had talked to earlier came by again commenting on my ongoing bubbly state. "Everytime I see you you're always laughing!" Followed by the other guy pushing my glasses up my nose. Yes yes, my nose is too flat to hold up my glasses. Don't bother pushing them up 'cuz they'll just slide back down. (And yes, how can you tell that I didn't have much "expectations" for Ranchmans since I decided to keep my glasses on rather than leave them at home?)

Ooooh, and they played my baby, Eminem. Eminem on rotation at Ranchmans! Lordy lordy.

And the country band sang a little ditty called "tits." Hmm, no, country music will never be as snarky as Marshall Mathers.

Zak has no idea how close he guessed to the truth. As fun as that mechanical bull was I was seriously hurting the next day. And the next day. I'm feeling better today. No wonder cowboys are bowlegged. That bull, in the fraction of a minute I was on it, was apparently like riding a horse for at least 2 days straight. Needless to say, I was in no shape to go to Skybar Saturday night. My apologies to anyone who was expecting to see me there.

June 5th. Stampede Club Crawl. That bull's ass will be mine! Maybe we'll be lucky and I'll bring along my digicam to record the event.