It's all an illusion

Poor Ryan is in some sort of state of shock that ladies are perhaps not the dainty little things he had mistakenly believed them to be. Har har. He has no idea.

Not that we are absolute slobs...but there are those who are downright disgusting. For instance, you should see the state of the public bathroom at my department store. The ladies bathroom. (I have not discussed the state of the men's bathroom with any of the male employees simply because I think they'd consider me "weird.") It is a common gripe of all us female employees. Women shoppers simply have no respect.

Do you know how disgusting it is to play Russian roulette with your gag reflex trying to find a clean stall? No, you must not. Honestly, I dread having to go to the bathroom at work. I wait until my break where I can be more at ease somewhere else in the mall, somewhere more hygienic.

What is so difficult about flushing that women have such a hard time understanding? I'm a girl. I flush religiously. It's the proper thing to do. But you would think that my store's bathroom had been marauded by big, dirty, trucker men and not prissy women wearing their Ralph Lauren or Liz Claiborne. This is not even a Wal-Mart type establishment! (Though trust me, Wal-Mart has much cleaner bathrooms than ours.) These disgusting members of the fairer sex do their business and just go about their merry little way. Toilet paper is strewn all over the floors in the stalls. Delightful little -- and I do mean that in the most sarcastic way possible -- floaters left in the bowls. For the love of humanity, FLUSH!

And just when you think you've found a clean stall to go about your business look before you sit. Odds are the seat is wet. IT'S WET! Isn't that supposed to be a male issue? How does a woman get the seat wet?

Somedays my stomach can tolerate the flushing issue. All you gotta do is look away and kick the flush handle. I mean, look at that, is it so hard? You don't even have to touch the friggin' thing with your hands! But yeah, it gets so bad I don't blame housekeeping for their inability to keep the bathroom tip-top. You have no idea where to start, and really there's no stomach in the world that could deal with that on a regular basis. Like one of my co-workers said, it's as if all the crazy shoppers in the mall wait until they get to our store before they do their business. No wonder the other bathrooms are so clean. I wish they'd go do their thing over at the other end at Sears.

Alright, end rant. For a bit of toilet fun go here and/or here. Both games revolve around male peeing, go figure. Apparently the whole world is as disillusioned as Ryan once was.

This post was sponsored by Emeril Lagasse. BAM!