Looking good, feeling great.

It would seem that a lot of the blogs I read have been writing about "fatness" lately. It takes a lot to make me mad, and it's not like they were writing about me specifically. However, I still can't help but take some offense to it all.

Unfortunately, I share in their off-kilter mentality. It's sad, I know. I am a "skinny"-person elitist trapped in a big girl's body.

How off-kilter are they/we? A girl who's size 12 (from my guesses) laments her fatness. Women who are maybe a size 6 still suffer from size denial and pour themselves into a 2 or a 4 (which looks horrendous, I may add...look at me, I'm bigger than you, but at least I don't have rolls bulging out of my mis-sized jeans)

I was once commenting on my fatness to Mijo and, in what I would hope was his efforts to make me feel better, said: "I mean, how much do you weigh? 120?"

Bless his heart if he really thinks I look like I weigh that little. *bursts out laughing*

But his question brought 3 things to light about him. 1) His weight guesstimation skills are terribly out of whack. 2) He's been hanging out with pocket-sized Asian girls for far too long. 3) And combine that with his status as an Angeleno it becomes a sad state of affairs when one considers weighing 120 pounds to be fat.

Anyway, I digress. This was supposed to be about how I share in this "evil skinny bitches" syndrome. (Note: that link will not take you to an "evil skinny bitch" but rather to my internet pal who coined the term.)

Yesterday, I came across moschino twice at the mall. He didn't say anything to me or even acknowledge that I was there. Then again, neither did I. I still feel ashamed about how things went with him. To top it all off, I don't even chat with him anymore and I haven't called since maybe February. In my defense, my ICQ's always on the fritz and when it does happen to be working he isn't online. Of course I could call, but I don't do the phone thing much.

I noticed a larger acquaintance looking me over one day...gauging me. The catty side of me wanted to lash out. "I know I didn't just catch you looking me over! Don't even start with me. You're at least a good 40 pounds heavier than me (again, by my estimates) so we're not even on the same level. Plus, I'm taller so my weight spreads out a lot nicer, hence I will always look better."

Of course I didn't say all that, but the fact that I thought it to myself is bad enough.

You would think I would act better than the "skinny evil bitches" since I know how it feels for us bigger folk to be spoken badly of. I know I must purge these catty thoughts 'cuz it makes me look quite the hypocrite.