Remembrance

When I first read the poem (? not sure if it's really a poem) The Creation by Kahlil Gibran these sentences really struck me:

"He gave her the cup of happiness and said, 'Drink not from this cup unless you forget the past and the future, for happiness is naught but the moment.' And He also gave her a cup of sorrow and said, 'Drink from this cup and you will understand the meaning of the fleeting instants of the joy of life for sorrow ever abounds.'"

I just found my old copy of Tears and Laughter and I read The Creation once again. I'm not sure if I agree with Mr. Gibran now that I've had time to think it over.

A friend of the family's died last night. She was the mother of a young man who's good friends with my brother and best friend. I can't imagine how he's feeling right now. They invited me to come along with them to the guy's house to comfort him and his family and keep them company but I felt awkward about going. I mean, yes, I feel horrible and I would like to tell him how sorry I am but we've never really exchanged a whole lot of words and to just pretty much pop up out of the blue and express my condolences just seems wrong in a sense. Like it takes a tragedy like this for us to actually have a conversation. Maybe I did the wrong thing by turning down their invitation, but it's done.

"Drink not from this cup unless you forget the past and the future, for happiness is naught but the moment." I agree that happiness is always vacillating, but if you forget the past then really you're also forgetting a lot of happy times that you've had with the ones you love. For our friend, remembering the past may be one of the few ways he can find happiness at a time like this. I'm always nostalgic. Forgetting about your past isn't necessarily conducive to happiness. Sure there may be some terrible memories that you would rather forget, but I would like to think that the happy memories are always more abundant than the sad ones.

"Drink from this cup and you will understand the meaning of the fleeting instants of the joy of life for sorrow ever abounds." Kahlil Gibran was of course right on this one. It's so obvious. It is unfortunate that we need reminders such as these (the loss of a loved one) to encourage us not to take those happy moments for granted. I don't want to believe that "sorrow ever abounds" as it is a gloomy way to go about one's days, but it is true that our happiness is not a constant that we can bank on. Truthfully, we should expect dark days every once in a while and we need to accept that, but with that we should also make the most of the good times and appreciate them fully while we are in that moment.

So to our friend, even though I may never have the guts to tell you this in person, I hope that reminiscing on the loving life you shared with your mother will bring you great comfort in the days to come. But I also know that you are strong enough to see past all the present pain, and that you yourself know that there will still be happy times ahead of you.