I'm not a coconut. I'm a potato.

In The Debut (which you can, surprisingly, rent from your local Blockbuster or Roger's Video regardless of the "whiteness" of your neighborhood.) this thug kid accuses the main character, Ben, for "selling out" and acting like he's white. He calls Ben a coconut. Amongst me and my friends, we call ourselves potatoes. Maybe it's just 'cuz California is more coconut-land and over here we're more potato-ville. Anyway, same idea...someone who's brown on the outside but white on the inside. Only, I don't find it offensive to be considered a potato. I don't think any of us do. Hanging out with people outside of your culture doesn't diminish your background unless you make it that way.

The movie is pretty predictable. Teenage boy coming of age, embarassed of his family, just wanting to party. Boy falls in love (though the love connection was pretty lame) and at the same time learns that his family is pretty cool and that he should embrace who he is. Yes, we've seen or heard that story so many times in so many different ways. This film wasn't groundbreaking, but I did relate to it a lot.

I was kind of like Ben when I was growing up. I mean, I love my family but for the most part I kept my school-friends situation and the family situation as far apart as I could. When my brother entered into kindergarten I taught him not to call me Ate (older sister) 'cuz I didn't want to have to explain the whole thing to my friends. Needless to say the parents weren't too impressed with that move, but I got my way. Now both of my siblings just call me Leah and we don't deal with the whole Ate/Kuya (older brother) business.

When we'd have family parties I was always allowed to invite a friend or two over. That was a tricky business in that I wanted to invite my closest friends but I also wanted to make sure they were open-minded about experiencing different cultures and all that. Last thing I needed was for some "friend" to go gossiping around school on Monday about what kind of "gross" foods my family cooks/eats. Luckily for me, I've always had easy-going friends. Last summer as you all know I invited Bizkette, Civic, and Daisy to my parents' silver anniversary party. It was actually quite cute 'cuz I had told Daisy about the lechon (roast pig, think Hawaii-style) and she was really excited about seeing it.

Word travels fast in my family, and when they heard that some of my friends were coming they wanted to help them out as much as they could...explaining what each dish was and what the best parts were. They kept directing Daisy to the lechon (we had 2) in the kitchen so she could see an entire one and not the chopped up one being served presently. I forgot to mention to them that Bizkette was a vegetarian and I completely forgot to warn her about the pancit palabok (noodles). Totally forgot there's a bit of meat in there. Oops! But she was still cool with it.

And Daisy, that crazy shy-but-excited guest, had to ask Civic to take a picture of the lechon for her 'cuz she was too embarassed to do it herself.

Anyway, that was just one occasion. Before that, my parents gave me a debut (debutante ball AKA a Filipina's 18th birthday). I'm really glad they did...I'd never had so much fun before then. Again I was kind of resistant. Seeing videos of my cousins' own debuts in the Philippines I knew I didn't want a debut debut...we're talking super extravagant affairs where the debutante and her friends rehearse for possibly months before her birthday, wardrobe changes, big cake...it's like a wedding reception for one girl. As always I didn't want to have to explain the whole thing to my friends. Not to mention that they would've most likely had to rehearse with me for the cotillion (dance) part of it all. But my loving parents adapted the whole thing for me. We had the 18 roses simplified into my guy friends/uncles/godfathers/cousins each handing me a rose and us waltzing for a bit (one by one, of course). The 18 candles were simplified into my parents and godparents and others holding lit candles while singing Happy Birthday to me and me blowing the candles on my cake. You know, none of the choreographed rehearsed stuffs. Well, maybe a little rehearsed. 'Cuz what is a Filipino party without a "program?" My godmother gave a speech, some of my friends sang for me, Spydermonkey played piano, Posie sang and played piano. If you ask me it turned out lots better than I could have ever imagined. During the 18 roses my friends went all out trying to one-up each other on the dance floor. So much better than having it choreographed and formal.

But I didn't get away with having one dress and not needing a wardrobe change halfway through the party. Honestly though, what kind of girl would I be if I refused an offer of two dresses, huh?

Yeah, so my debut rocked...and I realized that I loved having my two "worlds" together: my friends and my family. Mind you, having my friends at my debut wasn't all that much of a culture shock since we ate "American" food being in a hotel and all. A lot of my friends had never been to a debut before and were impressed that my family did all that for me. Truthfully, I was so proud of my debut I don't think I would have forgiven myself if I made my parents NOT have one for me. I would have missed out on a lot.

Oi, getting sidetracked again. As I was saying, yes, I related a lot to Ben and his having a lo of white friends. Unlike him, however, I actually knew/know a fair bit about my family and background; and now that I'm older and more mature I'm more than happy to share it with anyone who wants to experience it.

We don't have a "barrel-man" at my house but my granduncle does. Who came up with that thing anyway?

We don't have those wooden tinikling dancers on our wall. But again, my granduncle does.

We do have that big wooden fork and spoon...but it's been relegated to a wall in our basement on either side of the Last Supper.

But speaking of tinikling, I've always wanted to learn it. Back in university I helped out at one year's Cultural Nite held by the Filipino Student Association. I just stayed behind the scenes though I really would've liked to dance. Joined too late. Besides, it'd be difficult for them to find a partner for me since the guys are usually short or only as tall as me. Not to mention my size.... I'm not your typical Filipina, that's for sure.

I can hop around tinikling-style, though. :) I'll also have to learn how to twist my arms around with those candles in that other dance, too. I want to learn it all someday.

Mare's absolutely right in that the movie wasn't the best in the world. Actually, it was cheesy and fairly predictable...but I did appreciate how they portrayed my culture. Maybe some other curious souls will rent it (when I went it was on the New Release walls) and learn something new. I know I personally love learning about different backgrounds.

But please don't call me Ate. I'm just not used to that anymore.