"Le sigh"

Just a quick boo about the reality show I was going to audition for: I never had a chance. Turns out some of my family had issues with us being filmed day in day out and so I didn't even try. It makes sense...just 'cuz I'm an attention-whore doesn't mean my whole family is willing to be in the spotlight. Alas, alas, the world will never know me.

Happy 4/20 to those who "celebrate" it.

I feel like such a hypocrite. All these years I've seen friends come in and out of crappy relationships and I took notes, swearing it would never happen to me. And there have been times when they would snap at me for "judging" them, claiming that I've never been in their situation so I could never EVER possibly understand. So what happens? Now I feel like I'm the one in the crappy relationship, and despite all my friends telling me to walk away I instead play the sucker and want to "try again."

Oh, wait a second, this isn't a relationship sort of relationship. Right. I seriously don't understand him sometimes.

But I DO understand the disrespect he's always showing. Always wanting to make plans and then never coming through...never even calling to cancel. I can excuse it all away by saying I never expect him to actually come through. But it doesn't alter the fact that although I know he won't show, I still let myself get riled up when he's his predictable self. I can also "justify" it by playing the friends card. Or I thought I could. I figured since we were just friends right now then I have no right to get miffed when he ditches like that. However, I realized that we don't take that kind of crap from our friends either, so there goes that argument.

I've resorted to not telling my mom when he doesn't show. I don't want her to worry about me and if he ever did get his act together I don't want her hating him right off the bat. Though I think it's already too late for that, she's already formed her opinion of him.

Peru-girl hates him. None of my friends want to meet him, and I can't blame them for that. I know if the roles were reversed I would be against someone who was disrespecting my friend like that.

He called on Friday to reschedule to Saturday while I was out with my girls. Apparently, though I didn't hear it, Bizkette was yelling "you suck!" at my phone. *smiles at the support* Wow, he actually called!

"Yes, I didn't want to be an asshole like last time."

Whoa. Had he reformed?

No, 'cuz apparently he didn't want to be an asshole on Friday but he was perfectly alright with being an asshole on Saturday. Thank goodness for martinis and Three's Company.

He's the one who called himself an asshole, but it's not like I'm going to disagree with him there. What is up with him anyway? He's great when it comes to surprising me or just spur-of-the-moment plans....but when it comes to planning ahead he's complete shit.

I think I've finally had it. This is (by my count) the third strike. He most likely knows I've got lots to say this time around so it's not surprising that he hasn't called at all. I don't have time to waste on friends I'm just getting to know when I could be spending that time better with my friends, people I can actually rely on.

So what have I learned from this all? Sadly, I probably haven't learned anything except he can't be depended on...though I've known that for a while. I was all good with just having him as a friend 'cuz it'd be so nice to have a regular dance partner and all that jazz. If he ever calls then I'll tell him what's on my mind, and if history repeats itself he'll acknowledge his crappy behavior and sucker little me will just accept his lame apology. Who knows if I'll ever seriously call it quits. He'll probably do that for the both of us. All I know is I'm not gonna tell anyone that I have plans with him ever again 'cuz they just end up hating him more when I later tell them those plans fell through. Better yet, I should just not make plans with him at all. Random coffees and dinners are just fine by me.