And another thing...

While I love love LOVE children, I've finally accepted the fact that I'm not ready to go there right now either.

And I realized that just this past week with my family gone. It's been much too quiet with them gone. And it's been pretty blah just me and my grandma at home. But because she's home alone for so long during the day when I'm at work and such I feel obligated to hang out at home at night. That has included the weekend too, so far. Though we're trying to find a happy medium by getting some aunts over on the weekends to keep her company with their late night hardcore mah jong sessions. So I can still have time to unwind with my friends on the weekends and not have to rush home right after work/dance class.

I felt so guilty on Sunday when I came home from the Jordan Knight concert at Tantra. (Yay, Jordan! Heehee.) His show ended later than I anticipated and I got home an hour later than what I had told my grandma. Normally coming home late isn't such a big deal but I felt so bad to find her light on in her room since she didn't want to sleep until I got home.

Aside: Jordan Knight was a lot of fun. It was such a great throwback to my girlhood. I can still sing each song word for word, that's how firmly ensconced in my life the New Kids were.

So it dawned on me, as much as I love my grandma, I'm still not thrilled with having to give up my evenings and weekends and spend them at home doing "nothing." How much worse would it be (the feeling, I mean) if I had a little baby that depended on me to be there all the time?

A good reality check for me.