Up Close and Personal

So on Boxing Day last year I picked up a webcam for my computer. It was kind of a bandwagon move, I must admit. A couple of chat friends have them and I thought it was nice seeing who I was chatting with and their actual facial expressions and such. And, as if I couldn't possibly feel any less "with it," my little goddaughter in Ontario has one as well.

I can't really say I'm a big fan of mine. I'm not sure what it is, watching others on their cameras versus myself in front of my own. I don't enjoy mine. Once, a friend actually asked to view my webcam and I refused 'cuz I felt like I looked like crap.

Ah, there's the rub: my aversion to being monitored at all times. Plus, it would be so tiring to try and be entertaining at that hour. That's my downtime.

Just a few days ago I noticed on my sitetracker that a certain IP address had spent over 40 minutes poring over my blog (11 views!) for references to two individuals from my past. I'm not the most computer savvy girl in the world, but tracking the IP address and coincidental evidence it was pretty obvious (at least in my mind) who exactly was reading all that. It's not like any of my friends would bother digging all that stuff up after all this time. So passe. But, all over again, I got irritated at how they bother to stick their noses in affairs that are none of their concern. I guess some things never change.

Then there are those who constantly look for attention, no matter who it is coming from. I remember one friend's ex-fiance had a webcam on his site. (This was eons ago!) I took a couple of looks at it, but it was never anything exciting. You could argue the case that it was boring since he was never at his computer whenever I checked, but either way how could watching someone reading and typing be of any fascinating value? Or, better yet, watching an empty chair in an empty computer nook?

The girl in this cartoon sums up how I feel sometimes when I have my webcam on. (A friend introduced me to these toons a while back and I've become hooked. This particular squirrel is my favorite.) Just to clarify, I don't sit at my computer in a tank and panties, though I'm sure there are girls out there who do get a kick out of doing that. I guess I'm just my toughest critic, is what it all boils down to. I see my image being aired right back at me and I'm bored with what I see. Though my chat buddy is doing the exact same thing and I'm all into their webcam. Guh, who knows.