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Skrong
Pronunciation: 'skro[ng]
Function: noun
: the effect on fuller-figured women wearing peasant skirts which causes the fabric to gather in between the legs while walking (don't laugh, I've seen way too many of these lately) The look that is inevitably created is that of a "so-wrong-sarong-for-each-leg AKA flowy long skort." Illustrations graciously omitted to preserve the reader's eyesight.

See, there are other reasons why I would never wear a peasant skirt other than the fact that they are laaaaaame. Not even just lame, they are brokeback like baby massages. (inside joke.)

Smort
Pronunciation: 'smort
Function: noun
: knee-length or less than knee-length trousers, more typically landing mid-thigh, with a prominently high slit on each side. The look that is inevitably created is that of a high-slitted skort for men (minus the front panel). See also: the 1970s, American Apparel, pansies.

Cremony
Pronunciation: 'kre-"mO-nE
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural -nies
: a formal act or series of acts prescribed by ritual, protocol, or convention celebrated by those phonetically challenged (the marriage cremony)

Thankfully, all the weddings I will be attending this summer are your typical ceremonies. But Civic, on the other hand, is due to attend a cremony soon. Heaven knows what one is expected to wear to a cremony. Perhaps skrongs and smorts are in order.