"...would you run to me if somebody hurt you...

"...even if that somebody was me?" (I hope I did well by Mrs S with, hopefully, the proper use of grammar and punctuation in there.)

So that's a line from a song for you. TLC, Prince, take your pick. Just smile and nod if you don't follow me...the line goes along with today's topic of discussion. At least in my Leah-world it does.

I do not understand people who make someone their entire world. One. Person. They just latch on and make the other person into their life. They're joined at the hip forever and ever, amen. Or at least until something awful tears them apart.

Maybe I never will understand it. Am I missing some romantic fairytale element in my DNA? Am I, as Daisy is prone to describing herself, "the guy in the relationship?"

Once a guy tried to swoop in and infiltrate my circle of friends soon after I introduced him to the group. MY friends. I guess I'm not so good with sharing. Funny how that is, since I'm not an only child and all. Where were all of his friends that he was always talking about? Why couldn't he hang with them? Sure, I was glad he liked my friends so much...but I wasn't looking forward to keeping up with the new dynamic if he intended on being around me and my friends all the time. I couldn't be myself with my friends when he was around. We had to keep the conversation light and involve him...which meant we couldn't talk about people he didn't know without explaining the back-story, etc, etc. It was too exhausting and I just didn't want to put in the effort of having to keep him "in the loop."

"So what are we doing next Friday?" he would ask. "We" meaning me, my friends, AND him. I had to bite my lip. Noone in the group really said anything. Augh, why couldn't he go and make his own plans? Thankfully the subject was quickly switched up and we could avoid it for another week.

He was clearly one of those who needs to have a somebody in their life. I was just in denial about how dire his neediness was. When I didn't jump at the chance to be his mother he tried going after my coworker. When she didn't take the bait and after he had met my friends he tried going after one of my closest pals. And when her loyalties and lack of interest conflicted with his neediness he went after yet another girl I knew. Luckily for him, his search for a (s)mother was thus ended.

Another guy, who was having a rough go at it for a while, made an off-the-cuff comment about how things would be better for everyone if him and I could just get a place together.

"Pardon me?" I acted like I hadn't heard him. I had just started seeing this guy! Uh, sorry, but I'm not about to uproot my whole life based on a good feeling I have had after a few dates! Forget uprooting. I'm rooted. Fine, I still live at home. But I cannot imagine being happier anywhere else right now. And as for him, great guy and everything that he was, but I was not going to chance moving out on a whim only to have to come home with my tail between my legs. As my mom has always told me: "once you're out of the house, you're out of the house." It's not a threat, of course. They just want me to make sure I know what I'm doing.

But on a side note: what's with these guys who think you're officially a couple right out of the starting gates (AKA the first date)? After comparing notes, there seem to be more than just a few of them. And they say us girls are the ones who are itching for a commitment!

Anyway, long digression. Rewind: I do not understand people who make one person their entire world. Even when I get married, my family and friends are always going to be there with me. It's like a package deal, really. For some, I have noticed, once they are paired off the rest of the world seems to go "poof!" He has no time for his friends. She has no time for her friends. And they're more than content just holing up in their own little world together. It's that whole sentiment about your lover being your best friend. All bundled up nicely in one person. But we can have more than one best friend, right? I would hope that I don't lose my friends just because I've met somebody. Civic says it's only natural that we'll all be seeing less of one another when we've got significant others. But I don't really think we'd all stop getting together completely.

For one thing, if I was ever forced to make one guy my entire world, he might just die. Not from the huge responsibility, but because I would kill him some way or another.

As TLC and Prince have asked: would I run to him for consolation if he was the one who hurt me? I don't normally get hurt. I get mad. If I didn't have other people to turn to to cool me down and help me think things through...that'd be pretty bad.

If he was the only person in the world who could comfort me I'd feel pretty much alone if he hurt me. So much for the love-of-your-life concept. Why would I even bank on one person for all of that anyway? So I tend to overprotect myself. "Take risks," people say. Well, sorry if I make sure to plan for the worst case scenario. The risks I take are calculated ones. I don't leave myself vulnerable.

"Dance as if noone is looking, and love like you'll never get hurt." I've always loved saying that. I know I've twisted the actual meaning around to suit my needs -- the way I tend to love is SO I'll never get hurt -- but I'm not just protecting myself. I do what I do so that my loved ones won't get hurt, either. I'm protecting the ones I already love and those who love me back. I don't want my parents worrying about me, and I don't want my brother to ever feel like he has to protect me or rescue me from a mess I have fallen into. When they have a bad vibe about someone I'm seeing I take it to heart. They have always been dead on about these guys.

My friends and I used to laugh at my dad's way of handling "the talk" with me. It's all in the way he says it. "You know what you're doing, right?" But thanks to him and my mom, I think I've got a pretty good handle on things.