Pandora's Box

Blogs are a dangerous thing.

I spent hours and hours poring over the new blogs he recommended. It probably was not his intention for me to dive so deep into the thick of it all, but curiosity gets the best of me. It's just like how my parents tease me: for a girl with such a flat nose, I can totally stick it in places it does not belong.

The more I read the more I recognized the similarities with my experience. I nodded my head in agreement with some posts. At other times I shook my head in disbelief over the immaturity of it all.

Aside: I've been observing A LOT of immature behaviour between couples as of late. Is it good that I am recognizing these ahead of time or would I not see it myself when placed in the same situation? Anyway, I digress...

He wants me to see his side of the story. I know that's why he had me read all those things. Do I tell him what he wants to hear or what I think he ought to hear? He needs to know the truth. I deserve to know the truth. Right after my experience my emotions got doused with ice water leaving me in shock. That is what makes it awful. I knew better, and I still know better, but I sure did not act better in the moment.

I made a mistake. He's made a whole whack of mistakes. Lots of lip service, can't quite tell if there's any sincerity behind it all.

But what makes me any better than him? Given my current options am I really learning from anything I do? I think I'm too stubborn to give up my shoddy habits. No. Vices. It's definitely a vice.

Anyway, enough self-analysis. If I were smart -- and obviously that's up for debate these days -- I'd steer clear of all his drama.