All Clear
Yesterday was my annual checkup at the Tom Baker cancer centre. It has now been almost seven years since I went through my radiation treatment. Nearly seven years since my parotidectomy and the crazy carnival ride that ensued.
I haven't "achieved" the plans I laid out for myself as a little girl and I cannot figure out if this fact would upset me had I not had my cancer. Nothing seems to faze me now and I don't know if that's necessarily a good thing. I love my job when many others are looking for better paying jobs so they can have a better life. They wouldn't even consider my position if it were their only way of making ends meet...yet here I am content. I used to believe I would be married and have children by now but the more I get to experience life the more I am unwilling to start that chapter in my book. There is far too much I still wish to see, yearn to do, desire to try. Having kids with me or a significant other to factor into all my decisions would bog me down. Perhaps I would even resent it at the moment.
I am turning a "scary" age in a little more than a month. The number always seemed so old, so "locked down." I should be all grown up by now. Heh. Life is too good for that at present.
Oh! And if you didn't figure it out by my title; I'm FINE! They were a little concerned, as I'm sure they always are when it comes to cancer patients (am I still a cancer "patient?"), when they did my weigh-in and realized I had lost so much weight in the past year. But once I assured them I had lost the weight on purpose it was alllllll good. :D
I haven't "achieved" the plans I laid out for myself as a little girl and I cannot figure out if this fact would upset me had I not had my cancer. Nothing seems to faze me now and I don't know if that's necessarily a good thing. I love my job when many others are looking for better paying jobs so they can have a better life. They wouldn't even consider my position if it were their only way of making ends meet...yet here I am content. I used to believe I would be married and have children by now but the more I get to experience life the more I am unwilling to start that chapter in my book. There is far too much I still wish to see, yearn to do, desire to try. Having kids with me or a significant other to factor into all my decisions would bog me down. Perhaps I would even resent it at the moment.
I am turning a "scary" age in a little more than a month. The number always seemed so old, so "locked down." I should be all grown up by now. Heh. Life is too good for that at present.
Oh! And if you didn't figure it out by my title; I'm FINE! They were a little concerned, as I'm sure they always are when it comes to cancer patients (am I still a cancer "patient?"), when they did my weigh-in and realized I had lost so much weight in the past year. But once I assured them I had lost the weight on purpose it was alllllll good. :D
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