It's All Just a Little Bit of History Repeating

"Are you dating?" she asked.

I replied "no" because that's the truth. Or at least I'm pretty sure it is. If we were dating I'd probably/hopefully see him more often and we would most likely have longer conversations...you know, that sort of thing. But what is scary is that I think nothing has changed in all these years. I'm still looking for more. Chances are I'm going to get hurt again. Need to nip this in the bud.

I have been trying to meet up with other guys, and what is strange is that they are more my "type" but yet I still cannot seem to get very excited about it at all. Maybe I have been wrong about my type all along. Deep down I realize that doesn't make sense; I have more to talk about with these guys. I suppose until one of them asks me that one specific question I am pretty much fair game for anyone. But what then? Would I get excited about it then? So much for rainbows and unicorns. But if any of them say they want to guard and protect my heart...that's pretty much a dealbreaker. (If that made no sense to you look up Kasey from Bachelorette 2010)

What's funny is all the advice and hints he gave me when the favorite was around seem to apply to him as well. Is this his way of pointing out that we're never going to work out? He "taught" me this stuff so I guess when I do get hurt basically he can tell me I should have known better.

I just told him tonight that I feel so high school. That may be the hugest understatement I have ever made.