Ohana Means Family

"It means nobody gets left behind or forgotten." So yeah, today had more than its fair share of sadness. At least the whole family got to visit dad, we did not get to visit him all together but we all got out there. As I was pulling up to the grave site a Beatles song started up on my phone...Martha Dear. It's not one I'm very familiar with but my phone is full of songs I just load up without remembering much about it. So I sat in my car for a bit before walking out to dad's plot and just took in the whole song. The lyrics had some important lines but overall I don't think it was a "sign" by any means. And as planned we picked up some bbq and had our little nuclear get together to celebrate his birthday. Good food and good company. Butch streamed Beatles music on his phone as dinner tunes when the Google mini (cuz we don't have a Spotify Premium account) could not deliver only Beatles songs. But one living family member was still missing from our dinner and I was still feeling bummed about not getting to see her on Sunday so I decided to take a moment and try to call my grandma at the nursing home. I had a few minutes of debriefing with the nurse in the wing -- they had an administrative meeting this morning because the families are missing their loved ones residing in the nursing home, and i'm sure a lot of the residents are lost and confused as to why nobody is coming to visit them anymore. But they only have one cordless phone in each wing and they cannot tie it up with personal phone calls in case there is emergency. Not to mention they are concerned about all the residents spreading and sharing germs by using the phone. The nurse said we could schedule having a Facetime session with grandma or if we can bring her a phone of her own it would be another way we could communicate with her. Count grandma as one of the confused residents; and my concern that she is feeling abandoned was not diminished much by my 10 minute call with her. She asked a couple of times how dad is doing...that's pretty standard for her. She also asked how mom is doing (I said "tired.") which worries me since mom is now the one she sees -- or used to see -- regularly. She asked once when were we all going to "go back to Canada" and quite a few times she asked for all of us to plan a visit so that we could all enjoy one another's company. Each time I responded that we could not see her yet because everybody is "sick" but either she was not hearing that part or it just was not registering with her. The loneliness I could hear in her voice was mcuh too hard to take. I sent her my love and promised her we would visit as soon as possible but honestly who knows when that will be with all this insanity going on. Her birthday is just over a month away! I doubt she would realize what day it is if she's not actually told the date each day but for me I cannot imagine her having a birthday without family by her side. But I got most upset after we said our goodbye and "see you soon." Grandma has never been the best at knowing how to handle remote controls or cordless phones. I don't think that's ever going to change. Predictably she did not hang up the phone so I just waited till she hung up before disconnecting the call. She called out "help" so the nurses could take the phone...and she kept calling out for SIX MINUTES before someone finally came to see what she needed. I muted my phone so I could listen while I waited for someone to attend to her. They have no idea why she was calling for help and I don't think she's the kind of resident who just keeps yelling out for help for no reason. Even if she was, she could have been in serious need of assistance and they never bothered to check in. I came back to the dinner table and put my head on Butch's shoulder and had a bit of a cry. I know it's dad's birthday but mom just seemed to shrug off any concern for what my grandma is feeling or going through right now. I know we are all dealing with some crazy times but I don't want to neglect grandma's needs. I don't want to disappoint dad, none of us are going to get forgotten.