Doubt Causes Chaos

Just watching Guy Ritchie's "The Gentlemen" for work's "Movie Lounge" discussion group. I recently got accepted into our workplace engagement group and I'm amazed at myself for getting out there and working at keeping my colleagues socially involved, especially during this pandemic. I would like to think that I have inherited dad's social acumen...finally. My little brother has always been the more social one. I woke up late today and as a result baby sis and I were late for our visit with grandma, but 20 minutes with her is still something. I got worried, though, when her first question for us this morning was "how is your dad?" That is not out of the ordinary for her; we have our standard alibi that he is still in the hospital. What I did not expect was her outcry of "he's dead?!" She was genuinely distraught and we quickly "corrected" her and continued our story that hs's still alive but very sick and weak. Again, I don't know if this is life's way of guiding us onwards to telling her the truth but her reaction this morning just made it more clear to me that I do not want her finding out and then having to grieve alone when we can only be with her 45 minutes a week. In the afternoon we got to visit daddy as planned. Weird Kid and his girlfriend had already removed the Christmas wreath and we had brought with us the spring one to put in its place. Unfortunately the ground was too frozen for us to get it firmly in place so it's still in the trunk of my car. My boyfriend's mom was so right...again her statement of "it does not get easier" came to mind. This time mom cried along with me and baby sis. Especially with the recent passing of my uncle. Mom told dad to take care of uncle up there and we all got choked. Hopefully the ground will be thawed by dad's birthday. It also gives us some time to add some decorations for him on the wreath. Daisy told me about one of her students (she's a kindergarten teacher) who is in a wheelchair because the little girl has unfortunately had two strokes already at her young age. Life truly is not fair at times.