You spin me right 'round
I can't believe the weekend's over.
For future reference, Moxie's makes this new "martini" called Banana Split that has chocolate milk as its base. It goes down so easy I'd have to say it could be dangerous. But it tastes oh soooooo good.
When I wasn't with family or friends my time was spent playing Space Channel 5 or listening to This Is Not A Test (Go Missy!) Hence my lack of bloggage as of late. Yet again, Space Channel 5 has me addicted...but as of today I've completed both games several times so there isn't much left to "unlock" or whatever the video game terminology is. I think I can calm down now.
And Missy's got me itching to groove at the bus stop, on the train platform, on the walk to work...one of these days I'm just going to let loose and be that crazy girl who dances in public listening to a Discman. I can definitely see it happening.
Friday night saw us with Bizkette and he...
Posts
Welcome
To everybody who has found my little site by looking up Jonathan Brandis: Welcome!
I don't have any information that I can share with you beyond what you have most likely already found via articles on other sites, but I can share my feelings with you all.
In a way I'm very happy to see how many of you have come here by looking for him. It shows that you all cared about him like I did. There have been a lot of you in the past few days. Thank you very much for sharing your comments and your emails about your experiences with him. I'm just a fan like the rest of you...but I appreciate sharing this common bond with you.
Thanks again, Leah
Kismet
He came to me in the night
When I was alone and cold
And the rain was beating hard
Upon the shadows of my soul
The night was truly black
There was no moon, no stars
All was silent but the rain
That gently washed away my scars
His soft blond hair was soaking wet
His sweet lips were kissed by rain
His deep blue eyes were grave and intense
Full of sensitivity and pain
We stood there breathing silently
Raindrops trickled down his face
He raised his arms to reach for me
And I felt his warm embrace
He led me to the shore of a lake
And we sat beneath a tree
Not speaking even a whisper
He declared his love for me
And the night began to crumble
As the sun burst through the sky
He lovingly took me with him
And we left this world to die
A good cry
I wrote that poem (Kismet) in junior high. It was about Jonathan Brandis until I altered the details so it described another guy. (For shame!) I've changed it back to its original edit. Back then I thought it was all romantic, but upon rereading it now it sounds kind of morbid.
There are details in the Yahoo article that I hadn't read in anything else I had come across.
Last night as I read about it a vivid image of what his final experiences must have been like came to mind and I broke down. And to be honest I think it's exactly what I was waiting for inside. Like I said, I've been surprised at how hard I've been taking his death...but no matter how miserable I was feeling I couldn't shed any tears. So it was actually a relief and a release when I finally cried last night.
It really hurts to think that he, and a lot of others out there, felt/feel so hopeless that ending their own lives actually looked/looks inviting. They are loved an...
It is so
Edited: I changed the date I met him, 'cuz obviously I didn't meet him in 2004. I meant 1994. I also added another article confirming his suicide. The details hurt even more.
He committed suicide. And earlier they had said it could be 4-6 weeks until they got back all the tests.
I never got to "marry Jonathan Brandis and move to Fraggle Rock." Side note for my own future reference: According to my scrapbook I met him on February 19, 1994. Lovely day that was.
Holding on
Even though I didn't know him as well as I've known others who have died this past year, I'm still feeling low about the passing of Jonathan Brandis. To be honest, it has surprised me how much it has hit me. I mean, I've already grieved for those close to me. Why would I feel this same grief over an actor?
Any free time I had this past weekend, I scoured the internet for news about him, and this one girl's explanation of grief made me realize why I was feeling so bad: she said that he had a been a huge chunk of her childhood.
Jonathan Brandis was a humongous part of my youth. aqua_angel and I would write fan letters to him together during math class...I don't think we ever sent them. Every month I'd make 2 trips to the convenience store, once to pick up the latest Bop magazine, then another trip to pick up Big Bopper magazine. I'd carefully pluck the staples out of each one and separate the pinups from the written material then re-...
Can you hear me now?
Last night was interesting and a half.
Event of the evening: a noshie summit at Bizkette's new digs. I love her new place, by the way, it's so retro-revival kitschy and funky. And it suits her so well, she's kitschy and funky like that.
So before we go to her house, we stop by the liquor store. Guy behind the cash counter was just a tad too happy to see us. His face just lit up and he was all:
"Heyyyyy! How are you girls tonight?"
I'm not sure what was up with that. It couldn't be that he had seen us before, making us "regulars." We'd never seen these guys work this store before.
So yeah, we pick out our drinks. Mr. Enthusiasm goes at it again.
"Hiiiiii, cutie-pie girl! Big party tonight?" (I swear on John Travolta's beautiful blue eyes this guy called me "cutie-pie girl.")
"Uhhh, no, these are gifts, actually."
"I'm sorry *big grin* Can I see some identifi...
The last page
I'm glad to see that our newspaper has deemed Jonathan Brandis' death as publish-worthy material. I admit that I, like many of his old fans I'm sure, did not take much notice of his latest goings-ons and he isn't the teenybopper idol he once was...but to let him pass away without a mention would be rude and cruel to his memory.
Though it's a bit morbid, I clipped that article (the picture they posted was of him on SeaQuest DSV...didn't they have anything more recent?) and I'll be adding it to that massive scrapbook of long ago. What a way to complete the "collection."
I don't have Ladybugs , though now I really want to own a copy just for the sake of nostalgia. Perhaps I'll watch Sidekicks or a bit of SeaQuest DSV this weekend just to reminisce.
Crushed
I'm soooooo choked.
Jonathan Brandis is dead!
Other than the New Kids on the Block, ;) Jonathan Brandis was the most massive teenybopper crush I had back in elementary and junior high. No matter how dumb his movies were (although I did enjoy Ladybugs back in the day) I watched them all. I'm sure I still have VHS tapes of recorded SeaQuest DSV episodes lying around somewhere.
I even have a Jonathan Brandis action figure. *giggles* And you would not believe the scrapbook I put together about him back in the day. I think people would seriously question my sanity if they ever came across it.
"He likes Yoohoo and has a terrier named Megan. He dated Tatyana Ali and Vinessa Shaw. He was born in Danbury, Connecticut. He likes to shop at Urban Outfitters... I could go on and on and on. I have his mom's recipe for chocolate chip cookies. It's really really good."
I went through some humiliation for this guy. This crazy boy, we'll call h...
It's like a middle-child thing, only worse
I've never watched that Average Joe show, but if they made one with the gender roles reversed I'm thinking perhaps I should give it a go.
Being "average" is so blah . Unfortunately, you get lost in the whole melange of things. You're not gorgeous so that everyone takes note...and yet you're not ugly so that people do their best to avoid you.
All throughout school I was friends with all the different "types" of people: the uber-popular, the not-so-cool, the stars, the supporting characters. I was all over that. At the age where everyone seemed fixated on having a boyfriend/girlfriend I was stuck with boy friends who had girlfriends and girl friends who had boyfriends. And at that age, that kind of things digs into you.
It was a blessing as well as a cuss. The sad state of affairs had it that the fat and the ugly were chosen 'cuz they would be "grateful" that some guy paid attent...
"Want a plane that loops the loop. Me, I want a hula hoop." ~ The Chipmunks singing a Christmas song.
I knew I couldn't fight it for very long. I admit it, Christmas has got me. It's got me, babee! How could it not? I love baking, decorating, buying Christmas gifts.
And ohhh, has inspiration slapped me on the ass! I hope I can get this plan up and running 'cuz I don't have much time until my annual gift exchange and dinner/brunch with the old uni-friends. Which reminds me, I have to figure out what day is good for them!
I had a dream that I was opening Christmas cards from my friends and family, and in each card was an Italian charm which reminded them of me or was an aspect of them which they wanted me to carry with me always. (Clicking on the previous link will take you to some examples of Italian charm bracelets, in case you don't know what they are.) Go figure I would dream about a trendy fad like that but I was all emotional about it in m...
Something runs foul in Computer-land
I can't upload pictures, I can't email attachments, I can't even get into my email period. It's always timing out. I know it's my computer. Pisser.
So yeah, sorry if you haven't heard from me via email, the email situation has just turned from bad to worse. Hopefully this post comes through *knock on wood* 'cuz as of yet Blogger has been alright.
And I'm afraid of the whole "virus on AIM profiles" rumors so I've blocked everyone but those on my buddy list already. If' you'd like to chat with me please let me know in my comments and I'll add you on. I'd say "email me" but, you know. And yeah, for now I'm just on AIM 'cuz even ICQ is acting pretty shoddy...as in I can't connect on ICQ.
"I love you, I hate you, I love you, I hate you." ~ Frou Frou (dedicated to my computer.)
And they're going down
My dad told me that a certain CPBA team lost a game last week, which means that now my beloved Phenoms are tied for first place with that certain team. Oh yeah, it's so on. We're getting that title back.
To respect the passing of our friend's mother they held a moment of silence before the game. Also, our team sported black wristbands with her initials embroidered on them. Very touching. But for me it was also kind of spooky seeing as I have those same initials.
We won again. I sincerely hope they keep it up. We've got three more games in the regular season...only one of which, by my research, should pose them the slightest bit of trouble. So long as they don't get all cocky, of course, they should be fine. We'll see NE Express in the finals.
My family went to Burger Inn for lunch prior to the game. Yummmmy...haven't had Burger Inn at all this year so far. Actually, now that I think about it, that's kinda craz...
Remembrance
When I first read the poem (? not sure if it's really a poem) The Creation by Kahlil Gibran these sentences really struck me:
"He gave her the cup of happiness and said, 'Drink not from this cup unless you forget the past and the future, for happiness is naught but the moment.' And He also gave her a cup of sorrow and said, 'Drink from this cup and you will understand the meaning of the fleeting instants of the joy of life for sorrow ever abounds.'"
I just found my old copy of Tears and Laughter and I read The Creation once again. I'm not sure if I agree with Mr. Gibran now that I've had time to think it over.
A friend of the family's died last night. She was the mother of a young man who's good friends with my brother and best friend. I can't imagine how he's feeling right now. They invited me to come along with them to the guy's house to comfort him and his family and keep them company but I felt awkwa...
I'm sorry
I'll get over it soon, I swear.
Which David Usher Are You?
Test created by Lilith .
Dark, sultry and a bit mysterious, that's you. You may be quiet sometimes, but you have style, and an aura of elegance. Maybe it's because of all the opera you listen to, but you tend to be more cultured than your acquaintances. You have class and you're not afraid to show it.
I will survive
Ryan is my hero for helping me nab this snazzycakes hottie photo of David Usher . Yes, his magical spell hasn't worn off me yet.
It figures that when the day my doctor's appointment finally arrives my knee is doing, I'd say, 95% better than it was on Monday when I called. Still a bit tweaky, but at least I can go up and down stairs without cringing.
Thankfully he still figured out what was wrong. Tendonitis, he says. Probably the day it snapped (Halloween Howler) I had submitted my knee to more activity than it was used to. That's what he said.
Huh? I boogie every day. I groove as I change into my outfit for the day. I bop as I brush my teeth. I throw down as I wash the dishes. More activity than it's used to? Say what?
At least it sounds like a one-off thing. I'm so grateful that I'll be able to salsa again, to bachata like there's no tomorrow, to continue working on my belly dancing.
C'mon ride the train
As I was listening to the jukebox of songs on David Usher 's site (post-groping *giggles*) I came across a song called "F Train." I love it and wish he had sung it at the concert. It could not be more different compared to Black Black Heart. I realize I just posted lyrics on Tuesday but I need to get these words on record here. For me, it speaks of the reasons why I love taking the train and even walking down 17th or Kensington rather than taking the quickest or most direct route to my destination (aka the kindness of friends and their access to cars). I love people-watching; guessing what that man is thinking as he sits on the bench sipping his coffee. Or you wonder what the couple standing by the door are discussing in such an animated fashion. There's always something interesting going on on the train or on the street. Always .
Last month Blockbuster phoned to let me know that the movie I special ordered, Subway Stories , was fin...
F Train by David Usher
(Just one sec)
(Lavalamps are good)
Traveled on the f train down
The people press and crowd
They start to fade like footprints worn away
Only stop and still I'm waiting
A thousand faces look the same everyone
A thousand different names
They come on two by two
People fade as people do
Came here of my own volition
Could be my decision
Could be
We may still get by
We may still get by
Wandered down on avenue A
The coffee shops the sweet cache
Of thoughts and words and laughter gone
Never ending stream of what you've
Known so long and long ignored
Don't think so hard just smoke your cigarette
And fade off into blue
'Cause people fade as people always do
Consequence comes crashing in
The scars and scrapes and scratches
All the memories died so long ago
Time is up but still I'm waiting
Came here of my own volition
Could be my decision
Could be
We may still get by
We may still get by
And we may still get by
We ...
This is how we do it
Or rather, this is how we did it.
So Daisy and I filled out some ballots for a Ladies Nite package while we were at the Whiskey. And naturally, we won...or at least I won, haven't talked to her yet. It never fails. Actually, I think they just call up everyone who put their name in.
I miss those days. Back when me and the girls used to go to Metro every Friday we would always win parties/bar tabs for the following week. Always. And my VIP membership didn't hurt, either.
Last time I won a Ladies Nite package was for my beloved and defunct Roxy (now Tequila, so I can't complain.) But being that most of my friends fervently enjoy their vehicles, it was only Daisy and I who took advantage of the sweet ride and we met up with the other two there.
Last year, if you recall, SunMoon got a Ladies Nite package at Coyotes right before she left for the Caribbean. Her and her friends definitely knew how to make the most of that evening.
And so now I...
"Wink. I'll do the rest."
David Usher 's shirt had that on it last night. I'll bet there were a lot of us winking at him at the Whiskey. And his wedding ring caught the light a bit too often for most of the ladies' liking, I'm sure. He's too hot for his own good is his problem.
The Whiskey was gorgeous, too. I had never been there until last night, mostly due to their 25 and over age policy. I know you're going to say that, since we're girls, getting in shouldn't be a problem regardless of their age rules...but I've heard that The Whiskey is real strict about that. Actually, I tried to get a guest list there for my birthday this year and they wouldn't budge. Ha, I got them this time! My guess would be that The Drink transformed itself into Tantra in response to The Whiskey's snazzycakes setup. All I can say is that 10th Ave has just become one of my favorite streets in Calgary due to those two clubs.
Being that Dai...
Black Black Heart by David Usher
Something ugly this way comes
Through my fingers sliding inside
All these blessings all these burns
I'm godless underneath your cover
Search for pleasure search for pain
In this world now I am undying
I unfurl my flag my nation helpless
Black black heart why would you offer more
Why would you make it easier on me to satisfy
I'm on fire I'm rotting to the core
I'm eating all your kings and queens
All your sex and your diamonds
As I begin to lose my grip
On these realities your sending
Taste your mind and taste your sex
I'm naked underneath your cover
Covers lie and we will bend and borrow
With the coming sign
The tide will take the sea will rise and time will rape
Black black heart why would you offer more
Why would you make it easier on me to satisfy
I'm on fire I'm rotting to the core
I'm eating all your kings and queens
All your sex and your diamonds
Black black heart why would you offe...
The bunny saves
The other day I was taking my beloved train to work when two Mormon Elders boarded at the next station. I've never seen them wear nametags before but now at least they're upfront about who they are. Their tags say "Elder so-and-so" and beneath that it says Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints or whatever they call it these days. (Please note: I don't think they are a bad lot per se. A handful of my friends are Mormon and we get along fine. It's just that, you know, I don't push my beliefs on you so I'd appreciate it if you didn't push your beliefs on me. Sound good? Wanna shake on it? Fantastic.)
You could tell they were scoping out the passengers for someone who looked "up" for a good discussion. I tried to make myself invisible but that's kind of difficult when you're standing right in front of them.
They took one look at me and then shuffled back a bit. I was wearing what my brother teasing...
Hot or not
I saw this gorgeous guy on Friday. Yummy Spanish accent, beautiful eyes, niiiiiiice arms, sexy smile, mmmmmm.
Too bad he had boobs.
And I'm not talking about "pecs." These were boobs. As soon as he turned away from me it was like "bam," there they were. Boobs. A little jiggly and a little saggy, too. Thank goodness I caught that just in time.
'Tis a shame, truly.
Ryan assures me that Vin Diesel will never have this booby problem. Oh my God, Vin!
Did you all catch him on the MTV Europe music awards? I let Peru-girl in on what she had missed.
"Vin was on the awards. Mmmm, Vin. Did you watch it?"
"No, I didn't realize."
"He was wearing a leather kilt."
"WHAT?"
"It looked soooo damn good."
"I never said I didn't like the mental image." Ohhhh yeah.
Synchronicity
My planets must be aligned or something like that. Those up in Heaven are looking out for me very very well.
I've been having problems with my contact lens the past week...unfortunately, my contact lens is a matter of necessity rather than vanity. The sight in my left eye is so bad that I need a contact lens along with my normal eyeglasses in order to see better. They could give me an eyeglass prescription sans contact lens combo but it would just look really weird since one side's lens would be dramatically thicker than the other. Hmm..I guess it could be considered vanity, then. Needless to say, my glasses are useless without that lens...and going without both makes me beyond all hope.
Anyway, I just started on the last contact lens I had and put in my order for 2 more boxes last Monday. But for some reason this lens has been giving me grief...it's been absolutely uncomfortable (I've double-checked numerous times to make sure I wasn't wear...
Downtown
Just listen to the music of the traffic in the city
Linger on the sidewalk where the neon signs are pretty
How can you lose?
The lights are much brighter there
You can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares and go
Downtown, things'll be great when you're
Downtown, no finer place for sure
Downtown, everything's waiting for you."
~ Downtown by Petula Clark
I needed to mail away my cell phone rebate and rather than just drop it in the mailbox down the street I decided to take a little jaunt during my day off.
So off I went, with a couple of invitations for this Sunday's Family and Friends day at my store, my cell phone mail, and an empty tummy. The plan was to visit my old coworkers at the agency, drop off my mail, and grab a falafel at Cedar's Deli (Cedar's has been voted the city's best falafel joint several years in a row and I'd have to agree wholeheartedly with the general consensus.)
In the short time I've b...
It's in the bag
I keep finding more shoes...shoes that I forgot I had. The footwear tally must be 60 easily by now.
I've been thinking of posting pictures of my purses, too. Not that a lot of you would really care about them...but my purses make me happy. I can't have too many of them! I must have, at the very least, 30 of them. Or maybe I'd just post pictures of my favorite ones, since some of these purses I haven't used since high school.
I'd show you all one of my latest faves: my phoney Playboy airliner bag that I got from the Night Market in Vancouver. I adore that bag and I always get lots of comments on it...the perfect accessory for an attention whore.
There's also my beaded tote of the Brooklyn Bridge. And there's my denim Guess baguette, my imitation Gucci barrel bag from when I was a little girl, the industrial lock box I picked up at Contempo Casuals in Orlando, the fuzzball bag from Le Chateau, the Hello Kitty lunchbag Civic gav...
All I want is to be able to eat my calamari in peace.
Tuesday and Wednesday I got to get away from the H-Lady for my lunch.
I have never mentioned H-Lady until now. Ever since I've started picking up more daytime shifts she's wanted to spend common lunch breaks together. I don't mean to be anti-social, but those breaks are sacred to me...it's my moment to power shop, catch up on errands, it's me time. Sometimes I've brought along a book that I'd like to read further into during my break...I'd really rather read my good book than have to make small talk. But how can you gently relay that to a woman who appears to be socially starving?
She really is a sweet person, but I wouldn't consider her to be my type of people. There are some days when I dread spending my lunch with her simply because I'm not in the mood for being in her company.
For one thing, and I don't mean this to sound age-ist and all, but she is 12 years my senior. Ther...
"All my friends know the lowrider."
You know, those cute boyleg briefs for girls rock, particularly for that extra little bit of coverage and warmth for your tushie on a cold winter day.
They do NOT rock, however, when they keep riding down due to previously mentioned lack of butt curvature to grab on to. Geez.
And I thought I was through with troublesome underwear after the "disco dot" fiasco.
Rock the bus!
For xtracyx. 'cuz she asked to see pictures. Also for all of you, since you were all so nice and supportive of my costume.
I wish it had turned out better...but if I may say, it was none too shabby. I didn't spend much money at all this year. I got the wig on sale for 7.69, the eyepatch was from the Wal-Mart first aid department for 2.77 covered with white and red felt at 28 cents a sheet, and then my nurse's hat was another 28-cent sheet of felt. I got my snazzy garter belt (which I know you can't see....but I am sooooo in love with garter belts now) on clearance at my department store, no less, so it only cost me 5.09. And then the stockings cost me another 4.96. I couldn't be bothered buying "appropriate shoes" 'cuz I'm not much of a white-shoe kind of girl. A bit of sewing here, and a bit of glue-gunning there and I was all set. Only thing I regret was the dress. In actuality, it was my brother's lab coat that h...
"My heart hurts watching them."
So much for posting a little something-something everyday. I'm going to back-post this so it says I wrote this yesterday. I'm such a dork.
Bet you're wondering about the crawl. Or at least I hope you're wondering about the crawl. No time to go over it right now...pictures aren't ready...sorry but you -- and I, really -- will have to wait. Hopefully no later than sometime tonight or tomorrow for sure.
So Phenoms won again yesterday...watching those boys are enough to give someone an anxiety attack. No offense to them, I love them dearly especially since I grew up with a lot of them, but they are playing way too cocky and the other teams whip them for that. If any of you are reading this: "Stop with the snazzy fancy-schmancy cocky passes!" I hate it when they tempt fate like that.
So yes, they were so good that the other team was whipping them by 16 points at halftime. 16 points! Good Lord. I never ...